Even God Has Problems

I talked to God last night for the first time in ages. Last time we spoke he told me he had this problem.  Seems like he’s very shy. Has trouble hooking up with women.

I told him to go make one.  Or five.  Or ten thousand.  He’s God fa chrissakes.

Then He vanishes. For twenty years. No letters, no phone calls, nothin’.

Comes back exhausted.  Says He has another problem.

What problem? You can’t have a problem. You’re God for chrissakes.

It’s just not the same anymore, he tells me. With the women. Ya know what I mean.

Oooooooh, thaaaaaat problem. A million. Who told you to make a million!.  I said ten thousand.  No wonder you have a problem.

I told him they have a pill for that and sent to Walmart.

He comes back with a bag of M&Ms.  Says they don’t work. Taste good.  But they don’t work.

I sent Him out again.  He comes back soak and wet.

He thought I said Niagara.

This is God I’m talking about.  No wonder this world is so fucked up.

Below is a depiction of what human beings were supposed to look like.  But God forgot to add a little water to the dust so we came out looking like a bunch of damned monkeys instead.  He still looks a little horny though doesn’t he.


English: Creator of the Creator, ilustration by Luis Ricardo
Español: Creador del Creador, ilustración de Luis Ricardo.

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