Palin Sees Egypt from Roof of House

There’s a bulletin breaking on news organizations across the world. Sarah Palin just announced that she can see Egypt from the roof of her house while standing in a pair of high heels on a sixty five foot intercept antenna placed there by the CIA so she could keep current on foreign affairs.

On deep background, a spokesperson for the former Alaska governor stated that a great deal of valuable information has been collected through use of the antenna, particularly about Egypt and an offer by Hosni Mubarak to contribute a billion dollars to President Obama’s 2012 campaign if only he would authorize the use of drones in Tahrir Square. The president of course denied that such an offer had been extended saying he could raise that kind of cash in a week or two.

The spokesperson also revealed that Palin could receive satellite TV signals through the antenna without having to pay for the service.

Other intercept gathered by the antenna revealed the Soviet Union (sic) has developed a new secret weapons system identified only as the “Vernal Equinox”. Announcement of the new system is slated for early spring on a date which could not be ascertained by the intercept.

Apparently information has leaked about the new weapon, the spokesperson continued, since data indicates that the entire population of the Soviet Union (sic) is eagerly awaiting its arrival.

The Palin camp immediately informed the White House of the new Soviet (sic) weapon whereupon the president’s chief of staff phoned the governor and thanked her for the information saying that he thought Ms. Palin would make an excellent candidate in 2012 and hoped she would receive the Republican nomination.

Palin announces new Russian weapons system known only as the Vernal Equinox to troops stationed in the Middle East  Palin stated the new system is slated to arrive in early spring and predicted it would be deployed shortly thereafter.

File:Sarah Palin Kuwait 2.jpg

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