Obama Hails Road Deregulation

File:Florida Highway Patrol in action.jpg

Patrolman investigates accident on recently deregulated highway. The school bus has sunk below the surface of the water. Fortunately all of the kids were strong swimmers and survived. The driver of the bus hailed the new Obama policy. Neither he nor the driver of the car will be issued a summons. Each will pay a small fine to help clean up the mess but will not be required to appear in court or to admit guilt.

President Obama has stolen another page from Bill Clinton’s deregulation handbook and his administration has decided to lift many of the burdensome rules that hamper the free use of the nation’s highways and byways.

And maybe it’s time for progressives to stop bad mouthing deregulation and start spreading it around a little more. Let’s think for a minute about how strictly our roads are regulated.

You pull out of your driveway in the morning and there’s this white line in the middle of the road that forces you to stay to the right.

I say we get rid of the white line. Think of all the tax money we can save on paint and help reduce the deficit.

Drive a little further and there’s a stop sign. Forced to stop. Then a traffic light. Stop again.

Talk about really aggravating road regulation. What about all those annoying school buses with the red lights flashing. Forced to stop. Next a school zone. Slow down. Stop again for some crossing guard.

Get rid of it all. Why should we be forced to protect some kid who can’t remember to look both ways before crossing? OK. So shit happens. But this could be a really good way to separate the wheat from the chaff. Only the lucky get to survive to get their drivers licenses. And our kids are among the lucky ones. They get to go to private schools where they’ll be protected by deregulated handguns and assault rifles and if they’re really lucky an RPG or two.

What about those sneaky, snarky state troupers who infest our interstates? They think they own the place. Get rid of them. Even more tax money saved. We could all go eighty, ninety, a hundred miles an hour and more. And since we’re all one of the lucky ones we get to survive that too. Think of it. A world in which only the lucky survive. What a wonderful place that would be.

How in the world could we have allowed all of this road regulation to occur in the first place?

Let’s get rid of it. Road deregulation would be a great issue for the Republican Party to put into its platform.

We deregulated the banks. Now it’s time to deregulate the roads.

After all, we can trust people to do the right thing can’t we?

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