Former House Speaker New Gingrich speaking with US Naval Forces of the Fifth Fleet.
From the UPW Newswire.
Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich stated today that his former acts of adultery stemmed from his love of country and were the result of how hard he worked in pursuit of a better America.
The message to all young Americans from the former Speaker is that if you work hard, play by the rules and honor your country you too can become an adulterer.
A spokesman for the leader of the Church of the Almighty of Forgiveness, His Excellency the Exulted Patriarch Most High Amanita Ambrosia, stated that the Exulted Patriarch had declared the forgiveness of all of the former Speakers adulterous sins.
The spokesman reminded sinners that you do not have to be married to commit adultery. All you really have to do is screw someone else’s spouse and, voila, you’re an adulterer. He continued that forgiveness is always at your fingertips. For a small gift the Church of the Almighty of Forgiveness will guarantee that your sins will be forgiven by Our Lord and God the Almighty. Just like Newt’s.