Archive for March 20th, 2011

March 20, 2011


NPR: In Struggle to Maintain High Standards.

Reputation Under Assault.

File:Future NPR headquarters.jpg

New headquarters for NPR beginning in 2012. (Photo by AgnosticPreachersKid).

A spokesperson for the Republican House Caucus stated that funding for NPR would be preserved if the network would broadcast syndicated right wing centrists Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck.

A few hours a day of fair and balanced news would go a long way to convince Republicans to support the network with taxpayer dollars, according to the spokesperson.

An NPR executive issued a statement stipulating that NPR was agreeable to carrying Limbaugh and Hannity on its daily schedule. But Beck would only fit in on weekends, probably replacing Car Talk and Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me.

The executive continued that NPR would be agreeable to broadcasting other conservative talk show hosts throughout the week in the interests of becoming fair and balanced in the manner of Fox News.

Republicans, conservatives and other right wing extremists were delighted with that message and other statements issued by NPR executives. So much so that there is now a movement among Republicans in Congress to increase funding to the public radio network.

A suggestion has recently emerged from the caucus that NPR change its name to Fox Public Radio. FPR would undoubtedly win the support of numerous corporations and right wing entities nationwide and would never again have to concern itself about funding. One benefit would be the elimination of annoying fund drives whose primary purpose has been to instill feelings of guilt among non-contributors.

The only remaining lefty socialist network for right wing centrists to contend with is the Marxist leaning MSNBC. Right wing centrists were optimistic however that Comcast, which now owns NBC, would rigidly control the content of news at MSNBC and that the network would soon become as Foxed up as other news outlets.

When control of the Internet is complete, right wing centrists and corporate America will exercise total domination of all news outlets across the nation.

From UPW News: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in bringing you worthlessly useless news worldwide.