PUBIC HAIR HANKY PANKY!

Justice Thomas Criticized for Conflict of Interest.

File:Supreme Court US 2010.jpg

The current members of the Supreme Court of the United State.

Justice Clarence Thomas has recently received criticism for refusing to recuse himself from cases before the Court where a decision could benefit the income of his wife and thus enhance his own wealth.

The criticism could soon reach an unmanageable level now that calls for his removal from the bench for conflict of interest decisions are being reported from a variety of sources.

Rumors are emanating from the chambers of the Court and spreading rapidly throughout Washington DC that in order to head off any further criticism the justice has vowed to his supporters that he will present them with a pubic hair suitable for framing in exchange for their continued support. The hair, according to whispers circulating throughout the community, would not be accompanied by a Coke can

The rumors recall an incident that occurred during the nominee’s confirmation hearings when a witness testified that Thomas exclaimed that someone had put a pubic hair on a can of Coke he was drinking from.

A reporter for UPW familiar with activities surrounding the Court and its members said that a spokesman for Thomas indicated the justice vehemently denies making any such offer and that the judge also denied any association with the envelopes mailed to Congressional offices containing strange looking strands of what apparently is human hair.

The FBI has been confiscating the envelopes and the hair they contained. The law enforcement agency announced that DNA testing is underway to determine the nature of the hair and possibly the source.

From the UPW newswire: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in bringing tastelessly trashy news worldwide.

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