LIMPOLE WINS SCOTUS CASE

The Supreme Court today handed down a victoryto right wing radio personality Tush Limpole.

File:Octopus-yacht.jpg

A yacht similar to the one owned by right wing radio host Tush Limpole. (Photo courtesy of Cetallinfo).

The Supreme Court today handed down its decision in Tush Limpole vs. The Food Pantry for Starving Americans and gave the right wing radio host and multimillionaire a resounding victory.

In the 5-4 decision, the majority sided with Limpole’s contention that he had been denied his constitutional right to buy groceries when the Food Pantry charged his maid regular retail prices when she purchased food at a local Pantry instead of the greatly reduced prices offered to starving people.

Lawyers for Limpole argued that Pantry volunteers repeatedly denied maids, butlers and Limpole’s chauffeur the right to buy groceries at prices sometimes reduced by as much as half and ofter even more simply because the right wing’s servants arrived in a chauffeur driven limousine and that Limpole was not entitled to the goods because his economic status disqualified him under Pantry rules.

The majority stated in its decision that by refusing to allow Limpole to obtain the groceries at the nominal prices charged to starving people, the Pantry had denied the defendant “due process” or unequal treatment under the law.

It is un-American and unconstitutional to deny a fundamental human right based solely on an individual’s economic status,” the majority stated in its opinion.

Food Pantry volunteers immediately began reporting long lines of limousines queuing up at Pantry locations across the country as the wealthy seek to take advantage of the bargains offered by the organization that serves the starving.

Limpole received news of the Supreme Court decision on his yacht where he was fellowshipping with several female adherents.

He is reported to have ordered a pound of beluga caviar delivered by helicopter to the landing pad on the vessel. The copter was seen circling in preparation for the landing. In addition to the caviar, the pilot had on board cases of canned vegetables for maids to restock the yacht’s seven pantries.

Tush announced to his listeners from radio equipment aboard the yacht that he was delighted with the decision and it was high time that the wealthy of the country were treated with the dignity and equality they were entitled to.


From the UPW Newsroom: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting tastelessly useless news worldwide.

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