LIMPOLE SPURNED BY LOVER

Scorned lover thought to be source of private lovemaking tapes.

File:Diorama, cavemen - National Museum of Mongolian History.jpg

Former lover accuses Tush Limpole of crude and brutish treatment. He’s a caveman she remarked.

Wealthy right wing troglodyte and radio host Tush Limpole, broadcasting from the studio aboard his yacht, said today that President Barack Obama launched Campaign 2012 with his deficit speech on Wednesday afternoon.

UPW News has obtained an unedited tape and transcript of Limpole’s most recent broadcast. The information turned into UPW appears to be the work of a spurned female companion of the radio host.

According to the tape which began with a sharp criticism of the president, Limpole said, “The speech sounded like a dull, ordinary campaign speech intended solely to bring his leftie, socialist, communist supporters back into the fold.”

Also on the unedited tape however were sounds in the background that mimicked heavy embracing, caressing and deep kissing occasionally smothering the radio host and obscuring his voice. The kissing sounds are thought to be the result of intense romancing by the bevy of young beauties Limpole regularly fellowships with on his frequent trips to the Caribbean.

Republicans know,” the tape continues after what appeared to be throaty groans of pleasure emanating from the host,”they know (inaudible) they know (inaudible) this president will cave. Oh yeah, just like that, just like that (inaudible). To get the Republicans to the table he will renounce half of (inaudible) half of what he offered immediately. And he’ll surrender half of what’s left after the negotiations begin.”

There is a long pause in the tape before it resumes. Shortly thereafter the copy obtained by UPW ends abruptly.

It is believed that the source of the tape is Limpole’s sometimes girlfriend and once thought to be intended bride, the Lady Margarita Dushanbe, the eighteen year old heiress to the Dushanbe oil family fortune.

Lady Dushanbe, however, could not be confirmed as the source and did not return our phone calls. She was however believed to have left the ship after she ordered a helicopter to Limpole’s vessel to return her to shore.

Dushanbe is known to have complained previously of Limpole’s distasteful habits, in particular his taking delight at blowing smoke from a foot long Cuban cigar into Dushanbe’s face. In the past she has also remarked that her little Tushie has turned into a royal fat ass.

From the UPW Newsroom: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news worldwide.


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