Archive for April 16th, 2011

April 16, 2011


Senator Jon Kyl wins award for Propaganda.

Becomes rare human being to be awarded two prizes by the Nobella Committee.

File:Peanut butter sen jon kyl.ogg

Sen. Kyl doing what he does best. Nobody knows what that is yet.

Senator Jon Kyl (R-AZ), who at the age of 69 still spells his first name wrong, was awarded the Putzie by the Nobella Prize Committee.

The senator won the Most Valuable Putz (MVP) award after making a statement on the Senate floor that was deliberately intended to spread drivel, balderdash and unmitigated propaganda about Planned Parenthood.

Along with the Putzie document, members of the Nobella Committee issued a written statement that they unanimously agreed that Kyl was engaging in propaganda because nobody could possibly be so stupid as to believe that abortions represent “90% of what Planned Parenthood does”

Sometime later the senator amended his words by saying his “remark was not intended to be a factual statement.”

The senator also announced that he would be giving anal exams in the men’s room at Raul’s Kosher Grill and Massage Emporium in Washington, DC. Check your local paper for times and dates. A spokesman for the senator stated however that the “remark was not intended to be a factual statement.”

The Arizona legislator has now been awarded two prizes by the Nobella Committee. On July 9, 2009, Kyl received the Scmuckup Prize for his amendment to the Senate Finance Committee’s health insurance bill that would eventually eliminate maternity coverage for pregnant women. The senator felt that health insurers and corporations should be permitted to charge higher premiums to women who got pregnant because pregnancy was not an illness but rather a choice and these women fell in the the same category as smokers who are in fact charged higher premiums. Nine Republicans voted for Kyl’s amendment but it was defeated when Democrats unanimously rejected it.

Winners of the MVP award receive a statuette named the Pubar engraved with the words “putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie for short the statuette is made of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for Senator Kyl supplies just ran out.

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