PUTZIE WINNER ANNOUNCED

Nobella Prize Committee Awards Putzie to Democratic Senator.

File:Mark Warner during the Commissioning Ceremony for the VIRGINIA (SSN 774).jpg

Sen. Mark Warner of Virginia, most recent winner of the Putzie and member of the Senate’s infamous “gang of six”, forgot to comb his hair. Nice tie though.

Sen. Mark Warner, the extreme right wing Democratic centrist, has been tagged the winner of the Most Valuable Putz Award,

Today marks the first time Warner has been awarded the prize and he earned it by showing surpassing persistence and fortitude in pursuit of the destruction of Social Security despite overwhelming evidence that completely invalidates his position on the issue. Warner brings to his case to reduce Social Security benefits and thereby open the floodgates to revamping the program into an unrecognizable form – a bucket load of misinformation and inaccuracies that unveil a total misunderstanding and profound lack of knowledge of the subject.

Warner bases his case on the stat that there are now only three working individuals to support each retiree. In just a few years, he states, there will be only two to support each retired person whereas in 1950 the ratio was 16:1.

And there he stops. If he had exhibited enough smarts to continue the comparison he would have realized that in 1955 the ration declined even further to 8:1. And by 1975 it was approximately where it is today. That’s because as more people retire there are fewer people working. Hmmm. A no brainer.

Another statistic that the Senator is either ignorant of or chooses to ignore to close his argument is that in 1940 the ratio was 149:1. Nobody in his right mind would ever have believed that such a ratio would be sustained and the decline was built into the SS plan.

Fortunately, for Senator Warner, you don’t have to be in your right mind to win the Putzie.

So the Nobella Committee sends its unanimous congratulations to the Senator from Virginia.

Winners of the MVP award receive a statuette named the Pubar engraved with the words “putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie for short the statuette is made of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for the senator supplies just ran out.

From the UPW Newsroom: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news worldwide.

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