Archive for April 27th, 2011

April 27, 2011

SANTORUM RECEIVES PUTZIE

Former Senator Rick Santorum was awarded the Putzie for Honesty by the Nobella Pizza Prize Committee.

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Rick Santorum’s former place of employment

Presidential hopeful Rick Santorum received the coveted Most Valuable Putz award in Honesty today. In a statement issued from its hideout in Pasta Fagioli, Italy the Nobella Committee handed the prize to the former senator for his admission that he made a mistake when he voted for former President George W. Bush’s Medicare Prescription Plan. Although the plan, known as Part D, helps seniors finance their prescription costs without having to take out a bank loan, it has contributed billions of dollars to the US Government deficit and it will continue to add more billions each year it is in effect.

Santorum said that is bad for the economy even though Wall Street pharmaceutical companies stand to rake in billions upon billions of dollars as far into the future as the eye can see.

Even though the former senator was silent on the amount of money the drug industry and its lobbyists lavished on his abortive senatorial campaign, the Nobella Committee nevertheless decided to award the prize to the presidential hopeful on the theory that one honest statement a decade from a Washington politician deserves an award.

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Rick Santorum’s possible future place of employment. God help us all.

And so along with the Nobella Committee we send our heartiest congratulations to Rick “man on dog” Santorum.

Winners of the Most Valuable Putz Award receive the world renowned Pubar statuette engraved with the words “Putzed up beyond all reason.. The statuette is made of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. The Pubar, also known as the Putzie, is given to winners while supplies last and unfortunately for Mr.Santorum, supplies just ran out.

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