LIPSTICK DUO WINS MVP

The GOP sister tag team of Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann has been awarded the Most Valuable Putz Prize by the Nobella Pizza Prize Committee.

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Sarah Palin on the road to nowhere.

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Michelle Bachmann for President.


The surprise announcement came today from the committee’s hideout in Pasta Fagioli, Italy. The award was unexpected because both women have won previously. Bachmann won a Putzie in history for her statement that the American Revolution began in the New Hampshire towns of Lexington and Concord. She quickly corrected herself and blamed the entire incident on a Teleprompter error.

Palin won the Schmuckup Prize in geography for her discovery of the location of the continent of Africa. “Somewhere on the planet Earth,” she is reported to have said. The committee felt that was close enough and awarded the former beauty queen the geography prize.

The committee gave today’s prize to the Lipstick Duo for their perseverance toward a goal for which both women are openly lusting. They want to be the first female president of United States.

The drive of this duo has been remarkable in the face of insurmountable obstacles not the least of which is that the payoff money boys would never buy the office for a woman.

The big boys in the GOP are arch conservatives who believe women were put on this earth to do their chores and run errands. And that’s exactly how they intend to treat our Lipstick Duo.

And why shouldn’t they. After all that’s how they treated Obama and also Bush and Clinton before him. Why should the ladies be any different?

Of course the big money can smoke cigars with the male presidents whose offices they pay for and maybe that makes a difference.

So in its award letter, the committee offered this piece of advice to the two women: Start smoking cigars.

In any case, the Putzie goes to these two brave, if slightly flighty, heroines of the GOP.

Winners of the MVP award receive a statuette named the Pubar engraved with the words “putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie the statuette is made of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winners supplies just ran out.

From the UPW Newsroom: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news worldwide.

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