COMMITTEE BESTOWS AWARD

The Schmuckup Award is bestowed on famed MSM personalities.

The Nobella Pizza Prize Committee announced the latest in its series of awards from its hideout in Pasta Fagioli, Italy. Representing the media at the award ceremony were Biff Bluster of File A Report Today and Tush Limpole, the right wing radio talk show host and widely acclaimed nut job. Presenting The Schmuckup Award on behalf of the Committee was Dr. Corruptus Maximus, dean of the famed Sardo Institute of Lame Humor and Some Other Things.

File:Rammy Award.jpg

The photo is a picture of a statuette and award known as the Rammy. It has absolutely nothing to do with The Schmuckup Award but it’s a really cool statue.


The Committee noted that these two fearless journalists were instrumental in carrying the burden of the Mainstream Media by reporting vital news and in many instances breaking stories hours ahead of other news outlets including the world renowned UPW organization.

Mr. Bluster was cited for his scoop on the bulging underpants picture that has embroiled Rep. Anthony Weiner, Democrat from New York, in an Internet scandal. In an interview, Bluster pressed the Democrat until he revealed his belief that his Twitter site must have been hacked. Weiner also admitted in the interview that the bulge couldn’t possibly be his and if more proof was needed he told Bluster to go ask his wife. She should know.

Mr. Limpole won for his discovery that the brand of underpants Weiner was wearing at the time the photo was taken was Fruit of the Loom, one of the cheapest brands on the market and one which no respectable congressman would ever be caught in – or out of for that matter. Limpole criticized Weiner for his choice of underpants and implied that he was too cheap to buy American Eagle, Limpole’s own preference, or even the slightly upscale Hanes.

The Committee praised both for the many other relevant stories they covered in detail among them the Schwarzenegger love child brouhaha which will likely result in a divorce from the former gov’s wife of many years, the Kennedy family notable Maria Shriver.

Limpole was also cited for his coverage of the Trump birther issue which forced President Barack Obama to reveal his full birth certificate. Both Limpole and the Donald however doubted the authenticity of the document citing the vast printing resources of the Federal Government at the disposal of the president. Limpole insisted it was a forgery.

Given a nod at the ceremony was UPW’s own Marcy Popindick whose reporting on such vital issues as the debt limit negotiations, the dreadful job numbers, the suffering among the unemployed, the looming student debt crisis and Paul Ryan’s Kill Medicare Plan earned an honorable mention.  But no award.

Winners of The Schmuckup Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize. In addition, winners are given the coveted statuette called The Little Schmucky engraved with the words “Schmucked up beyond all reason.” The Little Schmucky is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. All prizes are awarded while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winners supplies just ran out.

From the UPW Newsroom: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news worldwide.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: