AARP Promotes New Cash Machine. Offers Cat Food Insurance Policy. Executive Bonuses Expected to Soar With Vastly Increased Revenue.

AARP, the largest insurance agency in the world, has just issued a Cat Food Policy. Seniors who buy the policy and who qualify will receive a coupon entitling them to one ten pound bag of dry generic cat food per year.

An AARP source, who spoke under conditions of anonymity, revealed that the organizati­on has plans to open cat food stores across the nation. The retail outlets would serve the senior community exclusivel­y and would operate as a club which seniors could join by paying a small annual fee. Insurance policy holders would receive a discount at the stores.

The policy also offers a guarantee against starvation­. The guarantee however requires collateral such as a senior’s home, car or TV set or, in the case of diabetics, their syringes. Should a senior fail to pay a policy premium on time the collateral would be subject to seizure.

Seniors with preexistin­g conditions would be eligible for the policies and no physical exam is required.

The source also stated that AARP would be opening pawn shops to sell the seized goods.

The foregoing remarks are not intended to be a factual statement.

From the UPW Newsroom, surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news worldwide..

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: