Archive for July 9th, 2011

July 9, 2011


Party Encourages Viral Infection of Human Population. Spokesman Says Epidemic Would Increase Chances of Defeating Obama in 2012.

File:Influenza virus particle color.jpg

A virus viewed under an electron microscope.

A spokesman for the Republican Association to Destroy Barack Obama’s Presidency said today that GOP efforts to reduce funds for the National Institutes of Health’s program to discover ways and means of preventing and curing deadly viral infections in the human population were designed primarily to ensure the defeat of the president in 2012.

The RADBOP spokesman, who agreed to the interview under conditions of anonymity, said the party leadership was anticipating a huge viral outbreak with the expectation that hundreds of thousands, perhaps even millions, of Americans would die during the epidemic. Many millions more would become seriously ill from infection.

Republicans are hoping the outbreak occurs in 2012 –  ideally about four or five months before election day. According to the spokesman, RADBOP is already in production with TV ads blaming Obama for the pestilence.

To ensure that the deadly outbreak arrives in time for the election Republicans in Congress have voted to trim the budget for the NIH by hundreds of millions of dollars. The departments affected would be those involved in viral and bacterial research. Republicans are prepared to cut more than a billion dollars in additional funding for the health institutes if necessary to induce an epidemic. Infections and fatalities, they believe, must achieve record levels before election day for the plan to destroy Obama to be successful.

In a related development, a spokeswoman for the GOP has warned local public health authorities to brace for the outbreak but not to expect Federal funding for preparations.

Local officials have been alerted to prepare to collect as rapidly as possible the bodies of humans who fall dead in the streets. The GOP recommends Corpse Collection Units for the purpose and emphasized the dire necessity that such units be established to help prevent infection from spreading among the wealthy and to avoid any inconvenience corpses in the roadways might cause to rich commuters and their chauffeurs during rush hours. The GOP stipulated once again that Federal assistance would not be forthcoming.

From the UPW Newsroom: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news worldwide.

This media comes from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention‘s Public Health Image Library (PHIL), with identification number #10073.  It is in the public domain and used with gratitude to the CDC for their contributions to the advancement of human well-being.

July 9, 2011


Maybe Congress should hold an auction before important votes. Going once….

Great employment opportunit­y for auctioneer­s, five thousand dollar bid, dollar bid, dollar bid, who’ll give me six, six thousand dollar bid, dollar bid, dollar bid, who give me seven…..

Hey, it’s worth a shot. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

You scratch my back I’ll scratch yours. And they say politics isn’t corrupt.

Gather ye payoff money while ye may.

“What am I bid for my vote?”  It’s the American way of governance­.

Something we can all be very proud of.


Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

July 9, 2011



File:Barack Obama with Superman.jpg

We asked for Superman and got Soupy Sales instead.


Right wing Barack

Smacked us with a rock.

But he opened our eyes

With his numerous lies.


He struck again with ominous stones.

To cause us all so many groans.

The lies came double

Creating more trouble


With rocks and stones his policies bear

As he streams along an a right wing tear.

Over campaign promises he glossed

As unexpectedly he tossed


Out into the lonely street

Without ever missing a beat

Millions who were foreclosed

And from their homes they were deposed.


With rocks and stones his policies come

While on a fiddle he would strum.

As unemployment reached sky high

He scurried for safety in a lie.


He called the deficit a financial harm

While jobs were lost with fearsome alarm

But from the White House came no word

As the president joined the DC herd.


Fool me twice the fault is mine.

When time to vote I will decline.


Yet he openly proposed

And with the rest of us disposed

A plan to save the guilty banks

Which were nothing more than crooked skanks.


His agenda for the few

Left us all in a royal stew

About a budget for his cash cow crew

With whom he shared a dinner brew


To raise money for his campaign race

Against Republicans he would surely face.

And in the White House he would assure

That all their troubles he would cure.


And so his soul that day they bought

While what he promised came to naught.

He chips instead at his loyal flock

With a budget that’s a royal crock.


Now a man without a care

He lures us to his right wing lair

And with an uppity unctuous flair

He drives us all to utter despair


Fool me twice the fault is mine.

When time to vote I will decline.


A profile in transparent deceit

He brandishes Washington conceit.

But this man is no DC fool

For he cares not of actions cruel.


He will cut the safety net

To assure a winning bet.

So what if seniors must eat gruel

He will remain a rich man’s tool.


No one expected he’d be a saint

But now we see a right wing taint.

With glossy cover he tries paint

Himself a weak deal maker but ain’t


He plies excuses near and far.

But by duplicity he cannot bar

Us from seeing his flimsy guise

To which we are now all too wise.


Fool me twice the fault is mine

When time to vote I will decline.


For his policy is replete

With breaks for those who cheat.

And time again he will repeat

Mistakes that will end in his defeat.


And so he governs without remorse

On a strictly right wing course.

With the wealthy at his side

He speaks of plans we can’t abide.


His blatant plan to triangulate

Succeeds because he will not stipulate

The devices by which he wily rules

As with relish he takes us for fools.


So with right wing views he often conflates

While the rest of us he quickly deflates.

He now approaches nut job status

As with hard right plans he comes right at us.


Fool me twice the fault is mine

When time to vote I will decline.