Cantor: Earthquake White House Plot

Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) today accused the White House of deliberately causing an earthquake to occur in his Virginia district.

File:Eric Cantor headshot.JPG

I been had. This whole earthquake idea is a White House conspiracy. And I don’t care what anybody says, this isn’t a shit eatin’ grin.

Cantor said several districts were under discussion as a possible site for the quake but the White House refused to compromise on a location.

The site originally agreed upon during the extended negotiations encompassed three Democratic districts and one Republican.

Cantor objected to the inclusion of the Republican district and, in an effort to gain Cantor’s approval, the White House agreed to move the epicenter farther north. The majority leader then insisted that the center be moved an even greater distance to avoid any chance that tremors might shake the Republican district. When the White House demurred Cantor threatened to abandon the negotiations. In a further compromise the White House agreed to Cantor’s demands.

Cantor than insisted that a fourth Democratic district be included in the earthquake zone or he could not agree to any additional compromises. The majority leader then left the meeting.

Discussions of a site and the epicenter apparently continued in secret after Cantor walked out of the conference.

The White House issued a statement denying the charge that the quake was deliberately set off in Cantor’s district.

File:Darling, Lagarde, Geithner (IMF 2009).jpg

OK, so shit happens. Cut me some slack already.

According to a spokesman who agreed to speak under conditions of anonymity, the quake occurred at the site in Virginia because Timmy Geithner, the person chosen to locate the epicenter and who often confuses his right from his left, sometimes has difficulty with north and south.

If this guy couldn’t bag campaign scratch from Wall Street, he’d a been gone long ago”, the spokesman said.

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One Comment to “Cantor: Earthquake White House Plot”

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