Archive for September, 2011

September 6, 2011

Bachmann Waning; Hoffa Waxing

In a written statement Michelle Bachmann said today that “if elected premier she would abolish the Department of Edumacations”.

Hey fellas, I’m running a little short of cash. Can you help a girl out?

UPW Senior Analyst Marcy Popindick, now covering the Bachmann campaign, reported earlier that the candidate reiterated her position that “educaton never did her any good and she didn’t see that it was doing much good for any of her supporters so why not just get rid of the damn thing”.

A spokesman for Bachmann, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the candidate was referring to the department in her statement and not education in general which she still somewhat supports. The spokesman continued that Bachmann advocates breaking up the department into 48 classrooms, one for each state.

When Popindick reminded the spokesman that there are 50 states and that two are being left out, he said the campaign would address that issue in a new speech on education and assured the reporter that no state would be left behind.


From the UPW Newsroom – Unreliable Press Worldwide: Surpassing the mainstream media in reporting worthlessly useless news the world over.

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In other news today, DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz, now in charge of raising campaign boodle for the Democratic party, engaged in a clash of views with Foxy News reader and resident cutie pie Gretchen Carlson over a statement made by Jimmy Hoffa that he had a contract out on the hit men who murdered his papa. (Oh sorry, that information comes from a Patriot Act authorized intercept on individuals deemed to be threats to anyone NSA figures they’re a threat to and is permitted to snoop on for that reason or whatever. And that could mean you, bubba).

Actually Hoffa said a curse word too vile for the ears of right wing hate radio big mouths to endure. The curse word also shocked the sensibilities of Carlson, the Foxy News lady, We won’t repeat the curse here for fear of further offending right wing radio assholes.

And a shock for Democrats was a Democrat with some balls who stood up to Tea Party demagogues by vowing to “take these son of a bitches out”. He then took out a fully automatic AK-47 and fired a thirty round clip into the air.

Well, actually, he didn’t do that. And what he meant was to take them out in a nonviolent manner as in defeat them in the upcoming elections. Anyway, go Jimmy.

So Foxy News cutie got her thongs in a nit and claimed that Hoffa was threatening violence against innocent right wing radio wackos. I guess cutie pie never listened to right wing radio wackos.  Innocent?  Yeah, right.


From the UPW Newsroom – Unreliable Press Worldwide: Surpassing the mainstream media in reporting worthlessly useless news the world over. 

September 5, 2011

Limerick Madness

Limericks recently posted to Mad Kane’s Political Madness Blog. (http://www.madkane.com/madness/ ).

Try it. You’ll like it.


A fellow was trying to dine

In a restaurant rated sublime

He ordered fine wine

But it turned into brine

And rendered him quickly supine.

.

A woman was trying to dine

In a restaurant that closes at nine.

She appealed to the cook

With skirt raised to her nook

Stay open and have a good time.

.

A woman who felt she’d been had

Rode a carpet to ancient Baghdad

When she woke from her dreams

Disappointed it seems

She was clutching her mouse and the pad.

.

A fellow who always seemed game

Had a perfectly awful first name.

When he started computin’

He discovered Rasputin

Whose name of ill fame was the same.

.

Telecommuting is gratefully cheap.

And a handsome profit we’re sure to reap.

With the price of gas so stubbornly steep

Sales will slow to a skimpy creep

Making oil companies certain to weep.

.

A fellow who loved fine cuisine

Used recipes from a chef’s magazine

To improve on the taste

He used spices to baste

And a sauce he called beef almondine.

.

A fellow was hatching a plot

To quickly tie the knot

With a girl he adored

Who he little explored

But who came with a dowry and yacht.

.

A fellow who always felt free

Managed a 4 AM tee

Though his wife would complain

And offered disdain

To the tee so free our fellow would flee.

September 5, 2011

Let’s Raise Taxes On The Wealthy

The evidence is clear. Tax cuts for the rich have been a disaster for the country. The GOP is howling in the wind.

Right wing extremists have been in charge of government far too long and have engineered the greatest redistribution of wealth from the middle and working classes to the rich in the history of the country.

Consider: It has been only thirty years since this massive redistribution began. In that short period a new American aristocracy has arisen; one that has purchased and virtually owns the U.S. Government. It has a plan to capture the greatest amount for the fewest people. To keep wealth concentrated and carefully controlled. This calculated blueprint represents the greatest threat to democratic rule since Caesar crossed the Rubicon.

There is a solution to this egregious injustice.

Let’s raise taxes on the wealthy.

Image from the website Monopoly+Logo.

http://www.google.com/search?q=monopoly+logo&hl=en&biw=999&bih=545&prmd=ivns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=fP5kTsfRF9KmsALyh8WsCg&ved=0CBkQsAQ

September 5, 2011

Obama: Failed Chief Executive

We’ve read a number of websites and posts that praise President Obama for doing his job.

Some of Obama’s accomplishments are listed below. But before we heap praise upon him let us remember that he proclaims himself a Democrat. Many of his accomplishments are what is to be expected of a Democratic president simply because he is a Democrat doing what he is supposed to do, in other words, just doing his job.

Now when was the last time you received praise for doing your job. Has your boss ever come to you and thanked you because you did what you were supposed to, you did what you are paid to do, you did your job. I would venture to say that such a thing never, ever happens anywhere, anytime in the real world.

So why would we praise Obama for just doing his job? A Democratic president is expected to:

  • Help the unemployed by supporting extended benefits.
  • Support higher ed by extending the tax credit by two years.
  • Support stimulus spending to reverse the Great Recession.
  • Sign into law other pieces of legislation of concern mostly to narrow special interests but nevertheless useful.

The president did his job. No special thanks required.

Now here are some of the president’s major failings and they are major:

  • Health insurance reform still needed as the issue approaches crisis proportions.
  • Wheeled and dealed with pharmaceuticals to gain support for deeply flawed health insurance bill.
  • Reneged on job creation to support deficit reduction.
  • Abandoned home owners faced with foreclosure even knowing many were fraudulent.
  • Supported Wall Street banks knowing behavior was crooked to the core.
  • Supported deeply flawed financial regulation.
  • Hot footed away from support for labor protests.
  • Supports job destroying trade agreements.
  • The wars go on and on.

It has to be clear to anyone who wants to be honest about the president’s accomplishments that the magnitude of his failings greatly outweighs his achievements.

September 4, 2011

The Lady of Maine Strikes Again

The Lady of Maine strikes again and will the ides of February doom Obama’s presidency. The stimulus debacle revisited and why its now too late for the president to reverse course.  

(Reposted from 2009 but still very appropriate).

File:Collladna.jpgMaine’s two right wing darlings. There’s an old saying in politics: Be careful what you vote for; you might get it.

Obama signed the stimulus in February of 2009 and may have ended his chances for a second term on that very day. The package was designed to fail from the very beginning and leading the pack that doomed the bill to failure was none other than Olympia Snowe.

The lady of Maine did a remarkable job stonewalling Finance Committee members during negotiations on a stimulus package. She balked and hesitated and balked some more until she was able to engineer a bill so diluted that it was destined to fail.  She wielded her limited power so deftly that she became the central figure in helping to design a weakened stimulus package that Republicans knew beforehand would be inadequate and could not even begin to rouse a multi-trillion dollar economy out of its prolonged slumber.

If I were a Republican leader the task I would have assigned to Snowe was exactly the feat she performed:  To make damn sure any stimulus bill that came out of committee would be so enfeebled that Republicans could proclaim it a bust before the funds were even exhausted.  Then, if at all possible, massage the bill so any job creating potential would begin to peter out just before the elections.  On condition that she deliver this half baked artifice out of committee, the leadership would grant the lady of Maine permission to vote for the bill – which was an absolute necessity anyway if the plot had any chance of success because the strategem needed at least some Republican support to become law.

Snowe was successful beyond her leadership’s wildest dreams. She and the Republicans not only outfoxed Obama and the mental pygmies who advise him.  They crafted a bill that failed on cue.

Here is what Snowe crammed down the Democrats’ throats.  The final bill allotted one third of the funds to tax cuts; another third to the states to apply to unemployment benefits and to stem the flow of public servant layoffs; and last but not least one third was assigned to job creation.  The funds that remained after the worthless tax cuts and the aid to the states and that went into new job creation amounted to some 280 billion dollars – a grievously inadequate sum by all accounts.

So the stimulus that was designed to fail failed just as the Republicans anticipated it would and after which they loudly and proudly proclaimed its failure to a job hungry nation.  The bill, as planned, became an election issue as it began to fizzle on cue a few weeks before the polling date.

Olympia Snowe from the bucolic state of Maine revealed herself to be crafty enough to outwit the city slickers from Chicago and a handful of Ivy League snoots to boot.

The economic Einsteins who advised the president were not only duped by the lady of Maine.  The plan they thought they hatched fell apart at the seams before they even knew they had one. These giants of economic forecasting were full-of-themselves certain that the economy would cycle into recovery and the recession would end in two years like all recessions do; and that jobs would gush forth just in time for voters to go to the polls to elect Democrats; and that voters, now deliriously ecstatic, would do this by majorities so vast that these White House wizards were drooling to swallow anything Snowe shoved at them if only she would agree to something or anything so they could get a bill passed and then loll about for a couple of years waiting for the economy to blossom; and, as anybody with half a brain knows, the recession would end as recessions always do, like ya know, in just about two years.  They could then proclaim their ingenious policy a grand success and wallow in the praise the pundits would heap upon them for wizardry unsurpassed in the annals of economic prognostication.

As we all now know and what the economic Einsteins, now in a self induced stupor, belatedly discovered, they were wrong.

The nation continues to suffer under depression like conditions as the economy worsens, business under-performs and Congress, as always, has its hands tied by Republican obstruction.

Through it all, the lady of Maine can smile unctuously.  For her double-dealing did indeed engineer the perfect economic storm:  an inadequate stimulus package designed to fail on cue right before the election.

And as for Obama, who couldn’t have selected a worse group of economic advisers, he is now left with the shambles he was duped into. Having agreed to a woefully inadequate stimulus package, he must now shoulder the blame for its failure and suffer the consequences as duplicitous Republicans proclaim the president’s entire economic agenda a total bust and accuse him of having failed America.

Because of his grievous miscalculation early in the administration Obama has lost all credibility on the jobs issue. His speech before a joint session, now with John Boehner’s permission, will be of no avail.  The Republicans set the trap to years ago and the president remains firmly in its grasp.

September 4, 2011

The DC Folly Trolley-09/04/11

John Boehner orders Obama to change date of presidential speech before Congress. Obama complies.

File:Obama Boehner State of the Union 2011.jpg

Check back with me a little later, Barack. I’m busy right now. Sincerely, John.

President Obama is still learning what it’s like to take a ride on the DC folly trolley.  You wouldn’t think for all his learning that would be the case. But clearly it is.  The Republicans score a first round knockout against Obama every time. In fact they know before Obama ever steps into the ring that he will throw the fight.

***

The GOP doesn’t worry about its poll numbers. As Election Day draws near the propaganda and the lies will permeate the air waves and they’ll win a unanimous decision.

The GOP is concerned only about Obama’s poll numbers. When his are in the dumpster, Republicans are having a good day. So far they’re having a good year.

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When you’re forced to play with spoiled brats its a good idea to get down on the floor with them and take their toys away. They may howl at the punishment but they’ll howl anyway. And on a positive note, there’s a lesson to be learned in that sort of treatment. Unfortunately for America, Obama gives the spoiled brats more toys to play with..

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Here’s a dandy from a management consulting firm called Booz $ Company (no joke). The firm has a report out that advises U S corporations to dump their high seniority, loyal workers because they’re making too much money. That’s right. Work for a company for twenty years, gain a lot of experience, remain loyal and get pay raises along the way and guess what. You outstrip your market value. So if you’re earning twenty bucks an hour and the company can hire someone for twelve, you’re dumpster material. After all the only thing that matters to a corporation is profit. It’s the American way. So long, chump.

***

Rick Perry is at it again. Another one of his statements just hit a 10 on the Rickster Scale. Not satisfied with calling for a national sales tax of 30%, Perry is now declaring Social Security and Medicare unconstitutional. He has advocated eliminating both programs. We know Republican candidates are forced to go right wing wacko to appeal to the nineteenth century base but this is beyond the pale. Frightfully, this man means what he is saying.

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Richard Nixon once famously said that when seeking the nod from the GOP convention a candidate has to run to the right. Once he wins the nomination he must make a mad dash back to the center and hope nobody notices the flip-flop. But how does a candidate back away from nut job views when he’s campaigning for the presidency when most everyone has been alerted to the extremism the candidate must now disavow.

I can’t imagine any candidate winning a presidential election on a platform that would destroy Social Security and Medicare and eliminate all forms of taxation and substitute a 30% sales tax on the middle and working classes. Not even Obama has suggested a 30% sales tax. Not yet anyway.

On the other hand this is America and all a 19th century candidate really has to do is appeal to fundie Christians, support Creationism, oppose homosexuality and abortion and suck up to rich people. That gets him at least halfway to election night victory and here Perry scores another 10.

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In view of his harebrained views, I hereby declare Rick Perry unconstitutional. His entire persona is in violation the Ninth Amendment, which states “The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people”. In short, the people tell Rick Perry what their rights are and not the other way around”. Motion carried: Rick Perry is unconstitutional.

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Michelle Bachmann said that the United States is the “king daddy dog” of natural energy resources. She pointed out the the U S has an abundance of shale oil, natural gas and coal. She blamed “radical environmentalists” for blocking the exploration and extraction of these energy sources.

Here’s a thought: Perhaps it is Robber Baron oil executives who are preventing the extraction of many of these resources. After all the energy companies have hundreds of government contracts that already permit exploration and drilling.

Could there be some reason that the Robber Barons of the industry prefer to leave the resources in the ground? Well, yes, there is a very good reason. If these resources were developed the supply of all forms of energy would increase. Now these Barons are not only greedy and conniving, they are educated as well and are aware of one of the basic tenets of economic theory: As supply increases, price decreases. Let’s do that one more time. As supply increases, price decreases.

Of course, the opposite is also true. Limit supply and price will increase.

And limiting supply is a rather simple matter. Don’t drill. And just in case you were wondering, profits and bonuses increase along with price. Also, just in case you haven’t realized it, you’re being jerked around. By the Robber Barons of the oil industry. And every time you go to a gas pump a crime is being committed. By the Robber Barons of the oil industry and it’s to be expected in any rigged market scenario.

When you add OPEC, which operates a monopoly market, to this equation it is easy to understand that a rigged market is far better at squeezing profits from a captive consumer base than a free market could ever be.

In any case, Michelle is sure to cash in on campaign bounty from these industry captains.

September 2, 2011

The DC Folly Trolley-09/01/11

Standard $ Poor’s is considering giving a AAA rating to bundled subprime mortgages issued by something called Springleaf Mortgage Loan Trust. Ever wonder what’s in it for S $ P – the folks who brought us the Enron debacle and the AAA subprime collateralized debt obligation. Just asking.

***File:At The Stock Exchange.jpg

I wonder if they’re discussing ways to lie, cheat and steal their way to ever more riches.  Can there be any doubt?  (At The Stock Exchange by Edgar Degas).

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The best thing that could happen for Obama:  Texas governor Perry’s smoke blowing event that registered a 10 on the Rickster Scale.

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I propose a Constitutional amendment that requires a state to pay an equal amount in Federal taxes as it receives in Federal aid. Call it a balanced budget amendment and what tea party extremist could possibly oppose that.

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Teachers in Wisconsin are retiring in droves to avoid retirement under the new laws passed by Gov. Scott Walker – laws that are sure to become more draconian as time passes.

One benefit is reduced salary levels for new teachers. Paying these teachers rock bottom salaries will allow the state government to give much needed tax breaks to rich people.

So why should anyone care about the welfare of Wisconsin students if the residents of Wisconsin don’t seem too? Nobody will.

What’s the matter with Wisconsin?

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Here’s a Texas tidbit you might be interested in. The state spends more Medicaid funds on orthodontia than all other states combined. Yes, that’s right, combined. Either lots of crooked teeth in Texas or a bunch of crooked dentists.

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Obama’s advisers have long held that the president can win reelection by appealing to Independent voters – those voters who hold the key in presidential elections. The theory goes that liberals, progressive and Democrats will vote for the president because they have nowhere else to go (The Rahm Doctrine). So the president can safely turn his back on his base but must, in order to win, appeal to the independent voter – the so called mythical middle.

And how does the president accomplish this feat of political legerdemain? Why by surrendering to Republican demands in negotiations, that’s how.

Guess whaaaat? There is now a poll out that suggests among Dem leaning independents – a group critical to Obama’s reelection chances – a majority favors a stronger challenge from Obama to his GOP nemeses.

Are we witnessing yet another screw up by the president’s advisers? Can there be any doubt?

***

Get out and vote. But vote for liberals if you can find them. Abstain from voting for president if you do not support the views of either candidate. There is nothing wrong with abstaining and a benefit that might accrue from a large abstention vote is that it might actually gain some attention and represent a form of protest.

If you vote for Obama as the lesser evil, the result will be a lesser evil that grows worse with every election. You will also be falling victim to the Rahm Doctrine: Liberals will vote for Obama because they have no place else to go; therefore their views can be safely ignored.