The Nobella Prize Committee Announces Winner in Duplicity Category. Recipient Said to be Elated.
The Nobella Prize Committee today awarded the Schmuckup Prize in Duplicity to former US Speaker of the House and current GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich. According to the committee, the former speaker has not only shown an extraordinary capacity for fornication; he also excels at prevarication.
Yes, indeed he’s an expert. One momentous example should suffice to expose Newton Leroy’s expertise in the Duplicity category. As a representative from Georgia, the Newtster voted numerous times for huge defense outlays that expanded the Federal deficit while presently decrying the deficit to which he and his Republican party cohorts were humongous contributors.
The committee decided to point out a second reason for awarding Newton Leroy the prize for Duplicity. It was just too juicy a tale to pass up.
Newt Gingrich is considered a “dark horse” candidate for the GOP presidential nomination. The photo is of an actual dark horse not to be confused with the former Speaker. (Photo courtesy of 4028mdk09).*
As Speaker of the House the portly pol giddily supported the impeachment of President Bill Clinton for his indiscretions while as speaker he remained quietly in the background during the proceedings. Largely due to his own blazing marital offenses and after his transgression were exposed, his in flagrante delicto behavior became scandal sheet headlines. Being caught with his own pants down forced the Newster to keep his mighty mouth shut, a painful condition for this tongued gusher. Under the circumstances the spicy speaker had little choice but to curl up in a corner with a blanket over his head during the entire impeachment debacle. He nevertheless secretly cheered his holier than thou GOP prosecutors on and on. That kind on behavior, the committed noted, is Duplicity beyond the pale and another excellent reason for Newton Leroy being awarded the prize.
The Schmuckup Prize consists of a statuette called the Little Schmuckie. It is made of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard and is awarded while supplies last. Unfortunately for Newt Gingrich supplies just ran out.
Don Alfredo Vito Nobella established the Schmuckup Prize to recognize the achievements of liars, cheaters, crooks and thieves in the fields of finance, insurance and government. Over the years hundreds of thousands of members in these fields have been presented as nominees. The committee noted that tens of thousands in Washington, DC and on Wall Street qualified in 2010 alone.
Don Nobella wished to share with miscreants throughout the world some of the notoriety he earned in his insurance business. The Don still holds the record as the world’s best insurance salesmen. It was said of the Don he could close a sale with a simple knock on the door. The Don’s motto became famous across the length and breadth of Sicily: “You buy or you’re never heard from again.”