Archive for October, 2011

October 30, 2011

Nobella Committee Awards Prize

The Nobella Prize Committee Announces Winner in Duplicity Category.  Recipient Said to be Elated.

The Nobella Prize Committee today awarded the Schmuckup Prize in Duplicity to former US Speaker of the House and current GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich.  According to the committee, the former speaker has not only shown an extraordinary capacity for fornication; he also excels at prevarication.

Gingrich's official portrait as Speaker

Latest winner of the Schmuckup Prize, Newton Leroy Gingrich. Image via Wikipedia

Yes, indeed he’s an expert. One momentous example should suffice to expose Newton Leroy’s expertise in the Duplicity category. As a representative from Georgia, the Newtster voted numerous times for huge defense outlays that expanded the Federal deficit while presently decrying the deficit to which he and his Republican party cohorts were humongous contributors.

The committee decided to point out a second reason for awarding Newton Leroy the prize for Duplicity. It was just too juicy a tale to pass up.

File:Schweif eines Friesen.JPG.

Newt Gingrich is considered a “dark horse” candidate for the GOP presidential nomination. The photo is of an actual dark horse not to be confused with the former Speaker. (Photo courtesy of 4028mdk09).*

As Speaker of the House the portly pol giddily supported the impeachment of President Bill Clinton for his indiscretions while as speaker he remained quietly in the background during the proceedings. Largely due to his own blazing marital offenses and after his transgression were exposed, his in flagrante delicto behavior became scandal sheet headlines.  Being caught with his own pants down forced the Newster to keep his mighty mouth shut, a painful condition for this tongued gusher.  Under the circumstances the spicy speaker had little choice but to curl up in a corner with a blanket over his head during the entire impeachment debacle. He nevertheless secretly cheered his holier than thou GOP prosecutors on and on.  That kind on behavior, the committed noted, is Duplicity beyond the pale and another excellent reason for Newton Leroy being awarded the prize.

The Schmuckup Prize consists of a statuette called the Little Schmuckie. It is made of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard and is awarded while supplies last. Unfortunately for Newt Gingrich supplies just ran out.

Don Alfredo Vito Nobella established the Schmuckup Prize to recognize the achievements of liars, cheaters, crooks and thieves in the fields of finance, insurance and government. Over the years hundreds of thousands of members in these fields have been presented as nominees. The committee noted that tens of thousands in Washington, DC and on Wall Street qualified in 2010 alone.

Don Nobella wished to share with miscreants throughout the world some of the notoriety he earned in his insurance business. The Don still holds the record as the world’s best insurance salesmen. It was said of the Don he could close a sale with a simple knock on the door. The Don’s motto became famous across the length and breadth of Sicily: “You buy or you’re never heard from again.”

*As always, click the photo for link.

October 28, 2011

Libertarian Ideas: The Phony Philosophy

The 1% would never permit truly limited government or a free market to exist.  It would mean the elimination of NAFTA, CAFTA and all the other trade agreements as well as the downsizing of the War Entitlement Complex.  Wall Street would have a collective fainting spell.

Carlos Salinas (left), George H.W. Bush and Br...

Prusumably under a Libertarian system trade agreements such as NAFTA would not exist. A so called "free" trade agreement is signed into law. Image via Wikipedia

Because there would be far fewer laws, such as those that offer patent and copyright protection, judicial protection would be minimized.  The judiciary itself would shrink.

 Transportation would suffer as rail and air facilities became “free market enterprises.”

Police and fire protection would be profitized and would be available only to those who could afford to pay for it.  Education would be profitized and “free market” corporations would be free to educate their own workforces.

Oh, wait.  You mean libertarians would retain all of the above government benefits –those  that protect the !% and permit the !% to achieve that status in the first place?

Could it be that the only government regulations libertarians would eliminate are those that protect the 99%?

Perhaps we could summarize the regulations libertarians would apply to the 99% in a very short statement:  “Shut up and keep working, fella.”  Now wouldn’t that make Wall Street happy.  Think the powers that be would never let it come to that?  Think Asia.

Outcome of union elections based on threats to...

A lot of the factories moved anyway and more are going. Image via Wikipedia

October 27, 2011

Cain Clueless In Follyland, DC

Herman Cain has fulfilled the first requirement for nomination as the Republican candidate for president.  He’s clueless.

Astonishin­g! And he is now a leading candidate for the Republican nomination­. How did it come to this?
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

He said the other day he’s not familiar with the neoconservative movement.  Must be something in the pizza sauce.  Or maybe he’s a slice short of a peperoni roll.


The neoconservative movement is a decades old right wing group that advocates an aggressive foreign policy toward the Middle East – a policy that includes military intervention and occupation.

The group includes numerous Republican Party luminaries, many of whom populated the Bush administration, and are directly responsible for the invasion of Iraq.

Even the ill-informed among us are aware of the neoconservatives and their war-mongering policies.  But not Herman Cain – and by his own admission.

Astonishing???  Not really.  Cain fits right in as a contestant in the Republican reality TV show that substitutes for a presidential primary campaign.

So congratulations Herman.  You’re one of the group – the clueless crowd.

Oh, by the way, he’s rumored to be cashing in on protection money from the Koch brothers.  The man’s a natural.

October 26, 2011

Are You Rich Yet?

Ronald Reagan brought you supply side economics.  Are you rich yet?

Bill Clinton reformed welfare.  Are you rich yet?

George Bush gave you two tax cuts.  Are you rich yet?

Alan Greenspan lowered the prime interest rate to near zero.  Are you rich yet?

Former Chairman of the Federal Reserve Alan Gr...

After committing one of the most monumental screwups in world history, the Maestro is awarded a thingy by George Bush who hasn't yet received his thingy for all of his screwups. Image via Wikipedia*

Barack Obama extended the Bush tax cuts.  Are you rich yet?

Ben Bernanke purchased trillions of dollars of worthless CDOs from Wall Street banks.  Are you rich yet?

Official portrait of Federal Reserve Chairman ...

Nice beard. Oh, yeah right. He's that Fed Chairman guy.

Obama gave you a payroll tax cut.  Are you rich yet?

Obama saved Wall Street for the sake of Main Street.  Are you rich yet?

All of the above actions enriched the richest 1% and saved them trillions of dollars in bank assets.  Are you rich yet?

Wall Street outlaws pay millions of dollars in protection money to the mobsters in DC we euphemistically refer to as Congress. And there’s a lot more scratch where that came from so long as the mobsters continue to play ball. There’s no indication the crooked game will ever end.

Alan Greenspan – Ayn Rand cultist, compulsive deregulationist and everybody’s favorite candidate for the mangled English prize –  committed a spectacularly monumental blunder by failing to recognize a housing bubble almost as big as his nose, until the damn thing burst in his face.  President Bush is seen awarding Alan the Baronial Medal of Stupidity, I mean the Presidential Medal of Freedom.  You actually get an award for being one of the central characters that caused the collapse of the global economy.*

*(Alan Greenspan was also honored with the Schmuckup Prize in Economics awarded by the Nobella Prize Committee in September 2009.

The Committee, whose hideout is located in Pasta Fagioli, a village nestled deep in the Italian Alps, grants awards from time to time to deserving individuals in the arts, sciences and government or just about anything else whenever it feels like it.

The Schmuckup Prize consists of a statuette known as the Little Schmuckie and is made of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.  The Little Schmuckie is given to winners of the award while supplies last.  Unfortunately for Alan supplies ran out the day he was awarded the prize.

Alan has also been nominated for Shit Eatingest Grin of the Decade.  We stand breathless awaiting the committees decision on the winner).

Related articles

October 20, 2011

Occupy Democracy Resources & Wolf Pac

Occupy Democracy Resources.

How To Regain Our Democracy | The Smirking Chimp.

Charlie Chaplin stands on Douglas Fairbanks' s...

Image via Wikipedia

Combined with OWS, Cenk Uygur’s new Wolf Pac and FB groups might bring to pass a new awakening, sorely needed in America.

We are living under corrupt government.  Wall Street banks and US corporations pay millions of dollars a year in protection money to the mobsters in Washington we euphemistically call government.  In exchange for the protection money the money changers then get to write the laws that protect them and when they break the law the mob looks the other way.

The banksters rely on the exchange of soiled money to keep them from being prosecuted.  Else they would surely be common jailbirds and deservedly so.

  • Protection Money Pays Off (
  • Photo – Charlie Chaplin stands on Douglas Fairbanks shoulders during 1918 Wall Street protest.
October 19, 2011

A Tragic Legacy Goes On

The picture below is worth a thousand words.  It represents the tragic legacy George W. Bush left to the nation.  He was nothing if not some spoiled ex-president’s kid whose family held a grudge against a petty foreign dictator.  The suffering this little man who cheated his way into the Oval Office inflicted upon two nations is unimaginable all the more so because it was unnecessary.


How do we stop it? Polls have indicated for years now that most Americans oppose the wars. To no avail.  The vote simply does not count.

Just as tragically the legacy continues under a new president. And beware the recent intrusion into Uganda

President George W. Bush and President-elect B...

Image via Wikipedia

October 18, 2011

The DC Folly Trolley – 10/18/11

Third Way is a right wing Clintonista organization pretending to be “centrist.” Its greatest claim to fame is that it helped move the Democratic party in the direction of the big time money. If the Dems take the advice of Third Way and other right wing Dem organizations they’ll get clobbered.

Like the Republicans, the Dems have placed their faith in the cash and abandoned the voters. After all, according to the Rahm Doctrine, where else can they go. Guess we’ll find out soon enough.


Ever notice that whenever the millionaires who anchor MSM news shows they always refer to right wing Democrats as “centrists” or even worse “moderates.” I wonder if they get treated to dinner and a fine wine at an elegant DC restaurant for being so kind to these right wingers. Probably so. After all it’s on the taxpayer’s tab.


The Korean Trade Agreement will dramatically increase the export of U.S. orange juice to that Asian manufacturing powerhouse. In exchange for lowering tariffs for OJ, Korea can import thousands upon thousands more autos into this country.

Sounds great, right? That means lower car prices for consumers. Uh, not exactly. Actually lower tariffs will more likely increase profits for investors.

So let me get this straight. In exchange for increasing OJ exports to Korea, US consumers get to pay as much as the market will bear for new autos from Asia and investors get to pocket the difference.

Sound like a good deal to you? Uh, not exactly. Especially if you’re an auto worker who loses a job because of increased Kia and Hyundai imports.

OK, so let’s stop being naysayers about rigged trade agreements. All is not gloom and doom. Let’s look on the bright side.

The agreement will create at least a dozen or so excellent job opportunities for unemployed Korean speaking orange juice salesman.

The pact also represents a job opportunity for skilled orange squeezers who reside in Michigan and who have lost work due to competition from the Brazilian OJ industry. Pickers in Michigan orange groves will also experience an uptick in job openings.

Experience is required.

New avenues of investment are also opening up for venture capitalists.  Bio-tech companies in depression strapped Flint and Detroit are developing genetically modified oranges that grow in frigid weather. Skips a whole step in the production process.  OJ is usually served cold.

Orange juice is usually served cold.

Image via Wikipedia

Why should Brazil get all the orange juice business in Korea? This pact proves once again that your government is at work for you.

Sooooo. Rush right down to your local community college and be the first in your neighborhood to enroll in a Korean language course.


Queen: Milord, the people in the streets are not happy.

King: Fret not, Marie. It will all end soon.

Queen Marie Antoinette of France, daughter of ...

Image via Wikipedia


Iowa has just announced a sex caucus date of Jan. 3, 2012. It will coincide with the political caucuses set for the same day.

Actually, that’s not true so don’t go rushing off to Iowa on Jan. 3 in your skivvies. You got that, Anthony Weiner.

One thing’s for certain though. A sex caucus is bound to arouse more interest in Iowa than a political caucus. Maybe they should give it some thought.


Well, that all from Follyland, DC for today. Now back to sports.

October 16, 2011

Random Musings – 10/16/11

The Republican health care plan: Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.


Trickle down economics is a real Laffer  Trickle down doesn’t work.  The Randians had it wrong. They believed businessmen would act on behalf of the best interests of the businesses they were responsible for.  That idea has proven to be tragically false. The Randians ignored one aspect of human behavior that proved fatal to the misguided so-called philosophy.  Human beings will lie, cheat and steal to satisfy what is in some an insatiable greed.

Mike Wallace’s interview with Ayn Rand follows if you’re interested in viewing one of the failed philosophers rare TV appearances.  



Can Republicans have more war and less spending? That’s exactly their goal. More war spending for the defense entitlement complex to gorge upon and then paying for it by destroying Social Security and Medicare. Unfortunately for the 99s, too many right wing Dems support the same program.


Chris Dodd making some excuses.

Newt Gingrich said Barney Frank and Chris Dodd belong in jail. As usual the Newtster fell wide of the mark. Yes, they and the rest of the mob we call government in this country belong in jail for accepting protection money from Wall Street execs. However, it is those nefarious evil doers who deserve to be the real jailbirds in this nation.


Used to be businesses paid protection money to the mob. Now they pay it to elected officials and not only get protection. They get to write the protection they get.


Banks pay huge amounts of protection money to their government goombahs. And they get what they pay for. They stay out of jail where they so deservedly belong.


Perry raises Cain. Since the governor’s demise in the polls the godfather’s dough is rising.


It is a tragic legacy of the human experience that if something is there for the taking, someone will take it.


Rick Santorum‘s comment about gays “showering with people” raises two questions: Who are gays to shower with if not people; and are they not themselves people.


A girl I once new fired shot after shot from a sighted rifle and missed the target every time. I told her to make the target the mountain behind the piece of paper with all those silly circles. She got a perfect score.

Made her feel better though when I revealed that I once missed the broad side of a barn with a shotgun. I stumbled moving backward while clay shooting and accidentally pulled the trigger The shot landed about thirty feet in front on me and just to the right of the barn.

Fortunately no one was harmed. And on another positive note, nobody can ever again accuse me of not being able to hit the ground with a shotgun.


After prenatal ends, pre-dead begins. And after that??? Post alive???


It’s bad luck to let the flag touch the ground. It occurred to me that after January 20, 2001 thousands upon thousands must fallen out of the hands of flag pole attendants.


We get to change our rulers every few years through elections. But elections don’t define democracy. Communist countries held elections for decades. Dictatorships routinely manipulated elections to cast an air of legitimacy over their existence. In some of those elections two candidates would oppose each other for minor offices. Both however belonged to the same party and held very similar views. And when they entered office after victory they followed the dictates of the ruling class.

Can a similar situation result in a two party system? If, after being elected, the members of both parties exhibit submissiveness to a monied ruling elite, can a claim to democracy be upheld? No, of course not. Elections do not define democracy.


Professors, lawyers and politicians often claim we are a nation of laws. That statement is tripe. Nothing could be further from the truth. If we are anything at all, we are a nation whose elite spend billions of dollars a year on so called Philadelphia lawyers whose express purpose is to uncover methods to evade the law; who provide campaign boodle to officials at every level of government to manipulate the legislative process; and who through power, influence and money can simply ignore the law.

If the law is applied selectively, our nation can never claim to be a nation of laws.


Too few Americans realize that many illegal immigrants were forced to leave their countries to avoid starvation for themselves and their families largely due to rigged trade agreements such as NAFTA. These arrangements gave American corporations privileged status over small businessmen and farmers. Millions were forced to flee their native countries because of economic conditions that favored the rich – that 1% we hear so much about and who benefited immensely from the rigged agreements that demolished large segments of working class businesses and the jobs they provided. What else is new?

October 16, 2011

The DC Folly Trolley – 10/16/11

White House Issues Medical Bulletin.

President Barack Obama has suffered a recurrence of BTBS or Big Toe Blister Syndrome. The president was stricken with the condition early this morning. The flare ups on the president’s big toe have recurred on a regular basis in recent months and usually coincide with protest marches. The condition prevents Obama from fulfilling his campaign promise to march on the lines with the protesters.

File:US Navy 030820-N-9593R-083 The main entrance to treatment facilities at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md.jpg

The National Naval Medical Center at Bethesda, Maryland where all presidents will be treated for medical conditions.


Obama’s advisers are looking for ways to exploit and manipulate OWS for their own political purposes. Polls are showing massive discontent with Wall Street and the banks. And the anger crosses party lines.

Soooooo. The president – now get this for it’s a sure sign that an election year is approaching – directly criticized a bank, a bank for God’s sake, for threatening to charge its customers with a $5 debit card fee. Obama said that’s the sort of stuff that makes people mad.  Good populist move.  Golly, gee Obamaman, the Big Goombah in the White House is really getting testy.

Advisers are expected to gather up all of the OWS frustration into one giant terd ball and throw it at Mitt Romney and hope some of it sticks.

I mean, like, Romney is the quintessential Wall Street rich guy and to the president’s credit he did sign some law stuff they called financial reform.  Can’t get enough populism in an election year.

Problem for the pres. though is that the Einsteins in the White House usually throw stuff into the wind.

Recall that Obama once referred to Wall Street fat cats as Wall Street fat cats and received so much criticism from Wall Street fat cats that he had to hire a Wall Street fat cat to offset all the criticism.

Ahhh, politics in Follyland, DC.


Regardless of party affiliation there’s a 99% chance you are part of the 99%.  The throng in the photo, estimated at 20.000, gathered in Times Square as a show of support for Occupy Wall Street.

Many Republicans, finally, are coming to the realization that they are among the 99%. After all, those outrageous bank fees rip them off as well as Democrats and Independents.

About Occupy Wall Street

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost


Joe Biden has served his usefulness as Vice President. He was brought on because of his foreign policy experience, an area in which Obama was sorely lacking.  Not any more though.  Got a problem with a foreign country?  Launch a few drones.  That’ll teach ’em.  Can’t say Obama isn’t a fast learner.  Helps if the countries have oil and gas reserves though like Libya.  I mean why waste a good drone if they don’t.  Those things cost money.

Oh yeah, speaking of Biden, Obama now has four years of dealing with foreign affairs so for this alone Biden is baggage. The Veep is also from a small state that can’t help much in the electoral college.  And if the polar cap keeps melting there might not even be a Delaware in 2012.

I’m not sure how much a Clintonista brings to the ticket. Hillary would help to solidify the women’s vote – one that leaned heavily toward Obama in 2008 but may now be showing signs of weakness.  Now matter how much they love you, sooner or later you gotta deliver the goods.

Moreover, Hillary is from a large traditionally blue state and could help the ticket in this instance, particularly since Obama is showing weakness across the board and can’t take anything for granted.

In 2016, the next year a presidential slot opens for a Democrat, Hillary would be 68, still not too old to run.

The VP would be 73 in 2016 and borderline in the age category. Age aside, even a gaffe-less Biden would face an uphill battle.

Since there is no hope of a liberal being appointed VP, Hillary remains the better choice.

Will it come to pass? Probably not. Biden is a DC politico. Lusting for the presidency is ingrained in the DNA of Follyland critters. No way will Biden take a hit for the team. He’ll have to be forced out and Obama simply doesn’t have the balls to do it.

Nevertheless, the VP needs to be dumped off on Foggy Bottom.


Have you heard? It’s almost semi-official. The US will be withdrawing all troops from Iraq by the end of 2011.

Now we can start a war somewhere else. Lotsa places to choose from. Let’s see. How about Uganda? Not sure where in the world that is? Ask Sarah Palin. She’s a wiz at geography.  Once called Africa a country.  But she does know where it’s located.  Hey, somewhere on the planet is close enough for Sarah. Give the kid a break.

Oh by the way. Here’s another have you heard item? All troops leaving Iraq will report directly to Uganda.  We’re starting another war. This one’s in that African country rumored by the CIA to have several billion barrels of oil in the ground. And not a minute too soon since we’re pulling out of Iraq by the end of the year.

Hope the new war is on TV.  Wars make really good reality shows.  They’re so real.  Great for ratings too.

I can’t wait to watch another war on TV.

And a side benefit: Wars always garner support for incumbent presidents. Something Obama sorely needs.

And since we give our wars some real cool names how about this: The empire strikes again to make the world safe for freedom and democracy.


You’ve probably heard by now that some twenty thousand people assembled in Times Square as a show of support for the Occupy Wall Street Movement. And hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, have assembled in cities across the globe for the same reason.

But did you know that even the Mainstream Media has heard about it. Yep, that’s right. The millionaires on TV news and talk entertainment shows can’t pretend any longer that the movement doesn’t exist. Try as they might the MSM just hasn’t been able to avoid covering the movement. Maybe they’ll try a little harder in the next few days.

October 16, 2011

Dangerous Medical Advice!!!

Panel recommends some of the most dangerous medical advice ever.

In case you haven’t heard, the Preventive Services Task Force has come up with some more medical advice. I imagine that the committee is composed of “deficit goons” like so many of our “elected” officials, that is, those among us who would save something as trivial as a little money to eliminate as much life saving testing as possible.  Yep.  Can you believe it!!!  Do away with life saving testing.

File:Lassa witch doctors.jpgI wonder what medical advice this panel would recommend?

Here’s the dope for some dopes who recently issued recommendations for PSA testing for prostate cancer: If you have an aggressive form of prostate cancer you’re a dead man walking without early detection and treatment.

While prostate cancer is a slow spreading disease for the most part, all forms – even the agressive types –  are treatable and success rates are high with early detection. The key is early detection and immediate treatment. And the PSA test is an excellent and critical diagnostic tool.

Some time ago this task force also recommended eliminating mammograms in women (in their 40s). While the disease may be rare in young women – perhaps one in a million – if you happen to be that one person, the panel’s advice could well be consigning you to an early death. In other words, the chances of getting the disease don’t really matter if you’re the one who gets it, needs radical breast surgery and dies from spread simply because you followed this panel’s awful advice. Want some better advice:  Get the damn test.

Here’s a message for the task force: If the technology is there, use it or it’s worthless.

This unmitigated nonsense is being propagated to save a few bucks. And we know that those most likely to die from such advice, are the indigent and the uninsured working class and maybe a few unlucky rich people. In any case, the advice is bad, pure and simple.

Hey task force. Want to save some real money. How about advocating for Medicare for All.

I’ve tried to think of a response to the advice spewing forth from the task force.  Best I could come up with is “stuff it.”

October 15, 2011

NC Gov Passes On Amendment Veto

Perdue Evades Politically Fatal Decision.

Gov. Bev Perdue of North Carolina has stated repeatedly that she opposes a constitutional amendment proposing a ban on gay marriage.

The issue is no doubt a political time bomb.. However, one reason for her decision not to veto the amendment legislation is that it faces an almost certain override in the Republican dominated legislature.

Perdue has repeatedly vetoed bills passed by the Repubs and at least one has been overridden. A veto requires the vote of a minimum of five right wing Democrats. And this bill should be able to garner many more than that. A veto would be futile and no doubt be fatal to her political career.

The governor has demonstrated many times that she is a brave woman in a fundie red state. Unfortunately for her and the state, North Carolina voters forced her to work with a politically driven Republican legislature – for the first time in a hundred years.

One example of the unscrupulous behavior of this legislature is the rejection of incentives for a Continental Tire factory that would eventually employ 1700 workers.

The location of the tire factory would represent a huge political victory for the governor and the legislature acted out of pure political motivation and unmitigated malice – in much the same way as Republicans in the US Congress. 

October 15, 2011

Protection Money Pays Off

Protection money traveling through the pipeline from Wall Street to Follyland DC keeps execs from jailbird rank.

So you still think you’re not being jerked around by the banks and their government in Follyland, DC. If so, here’s something to chew on.

The Federales, i.e. the United States Government, gifted Wall Street jailbirds with $14.7 trillion in welfare payments. As the Reuters chart shows that charity to the big shots on the Street nearly equals the entire Federal debt and the entire output for the economy in 2010. Check out the comparison of money spent on the general welfare to the trillions in welfare frittered away on the banks.

The protection money the Street gives to its compares in Congress and the White House pays dividends in trillions:  They not only get to stay out of jail; they write their own laws!!!.  And these sums of payoff money that pay off Congress critters pale next to the pittance the mob gave to bad cops and dirty judges.

October 11, 2011

Our American Heritage-Elvis Presley

File:Elvis Presley and Judy Tyler in Jailhouse Rock trailer.jpgThe lady is Judy Tyler.

The movie: Jailhouse Rock.

He’s been a part of our heritage for a long while now. You can choose among so many songs Elvis made a part of our heritage it is hard to know which to pick. Here is one of his lesser known tunes sung in an nontraditional setting. It has become one of my favorite renditions of this Yuletide number. And while it may seem a little early to play a Christmas song, I’ve listened to this tune many times any day of the year. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

October 10, 2011

Investment Opportunities: Too Good To Be True

Wall Street Venture Capital Rushing Toward Innovative Products. Individuals Encouraged to Invest Retirement Funds for High Immediate Returns.


Watch as CD changes your 10 year old Chevy into a 2012 Lamborghini. Some assembly may be required. Ground floor opportunity available before IPO. Contact a Wall Street broker today.  

Here are just a few of the new products drawing heavy investment cash:

Fold Up Rocket Propelled Grenade Launcher. Fits neatly into travel bag or briefcase. Huge market potential forecast for Middle Eastern countries. Grenades sold separately.


Counter Top Water Maker. Makes up to 100 gallons of water a day. Store water in existing tank or add a tank with large storage capacity (sold separately). Never pay another water bill. Simply add hydrogen and oxygen. Includes huge book with hundreds of water recipes. WARNING: Hydrogen gas is an unstable element that can explode if exposed to spark or flame. Always handle with extreme caution.


Home Electrolysis Unit. Separates hydrogen and oxygen into basic elements for use in Counter Top Water Maker. Just add water.


Campaign Contribution Software. Never need the services of a lobbyist again. Automatically transfers cash from your account directly to your favorite candidate’s PAC. Delivers the latest in account security. Encodes identities of sender and recipient. Permits use of hundreds of aliases and allows for unlimited donations.


TV Preacher’s Kit. Own your own Christian TV show. Follow the Five Simple steps to gain the rewards Jesus has set aside especially for you and at the same time spread the gospel of the Lord in Jesus’s very own words. Also included: How to Establish a Christian Mega Church. Invite thousands of faithful to join in your calling and worship in personal fellowship with the Lord. Have adherents flocking to your pulpit and teach how, through faith alone, the Lord will reward the devout with salvation and a new car and a nice big house and a CEO size bonus to pay for it all. Become an ordained minister in the Church of Christian Gifting. Comes with easy to understand instruction booklet. Deluxe kit includes private Learjet.  Investment required. Venture capital available for those who qualify.

Better hurry. Lotsa people waiting to get in on these ground floor opportunities. Call a Wall Street broker today.