Archive for November 26th, 2011

November 26, 2011

Corker Pops Corker, Wins Prize

Pasta Fagioli, Italy. 

Nobella Committee Announces Two Awards.

The right wing Washington Post published an article by Sen. Bob Corker, a real doozy, in which the senator from Tennessee placed Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae at the heart of the housing bubble.

Bob Corker discusses economic and housing mark...

Corker uncorks a corker, a real doozy. Image via Wikipedia

Corker claimed that government policies forced the two secondary mortgage giants to buy up all the subprime mortgages they could rake in.

Government officials, according to a spokesman, threatened executives of Fan and Fred with torture if they failed to support the subprime market. It is even rumored that officials imprisoned the big wigs in Gitmo where they subjected them to such tortures as waterboarding and solitary confinement for days on end.

Witnesses attest that executives and their CEOs fiercely resisted attempts by government to force the leaders of Fannie and Freddie to earn millions upon million of dollars in salaries and bonuses.

Their resistance however finally broke down under duress of torture and the executives accepted the riches forced upon them by government.

Because of their resistance to government coercion, the CEOs of Fannie and Freddie have been awarded The Schmuckup Prize by the Nobella Prize Committee of Pasta Fagioli, Italy. The committee awarded a similar prize to Sen. Corker. 

The foregoing is a corker but truth be told it doesn’t come from Sen. Corker. Corker popped his own corker and you can read it in the GOP journal still known as the Washington Post.


Winners of The Schmuckup Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize. In addition, winners are given the coveted statuette called The Little Schmucky engraved with the words “Schmucked up beyond all reason.” The Little Schmucky is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. All prizes are awarded while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winners supplies just ran out.

November 26, 2011

The DC Folly Trolley

War industry lobbyists would have us believe if we reduce the war budget by even a small amount we could be killed in a terrorist attack. Not a pleasant thought of course and a good reason to keep spending at a level soon to reach a trillion dollars a year. Gots ta have all that war stuff to protect us.

File:Pentagon satellite image.jpg

So what does a trillion dollars a year spent here protect you from?

Let us ask this question however: Would you rather be killed in a terrorist attack or an automobile accident?

If those were the only two choices it would be preferable to be killed in a terrorist attack because it is far more likely that you can be killed in an auto accident.

So maybe we should be spending trillions improving safety on the highways.

Nah. No way. The war industry lavishes enormous amounts of protection money on countless government officials. And not one dime ever comes from the highways.

So if you have the choice on how you want to be killed, pick the terrorist attack.  Your’re chances of being killed in one are about the same as being hit by a meteor. So you’ll be a lot safer.

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Corporations are persons. But unlike the living, they shit everywhere on the planet and never cleanup after themselves – unless of course they are forced by government regulation to do so. And then they bitch like a bunch of spoiled brats.

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Here’s a bulletin from Fox News: Pepper spray is a condiment.

http://knowyourmeme.com/

All the world used to be a stage. Now it’s a video on Youtube. Someone should inform the police. Such knowledge might cause them to use good judgment and common sense for a change. On the other hand, why waste everybody’s time.

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If marijuana was legalized who would the police arrest?

Do you think they might investigate real crime and pursue real criminals? I’m not so sure. After all that could be dangerous. I suspect the number of speeding tickets they write would rise exponentially though.

Hmmm. Maybe keeping MJ illegal isn’t such a bad idea. It does tend to keep the police out of everybody’s hair.

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Max Baucus, U.S. Senator from Montana.

Hey, cut me some slack. I'm just trying to make a fast buck like everyone else in Follyland. Image via Wikipedia

Activists marched in front of the Bozeman office of Sen. Max Baucus (D-MT). They were protesting the Senator’s role in defeating the public option and supporting the mangled Obamacare instead. A spokesman for the senator said he’s just a simple, modest man whose trying to make a few million bucks from his position just like everyone else in DC.

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Firms contracted by the government to provide torture services were charging $500 to attach nipple clamps to victims.

When the subjects began having orgasms, the government demanded refunds.

While orgasms may be fun, $500 a pop is a bit much.

File:Nipple Clamps in Use.png

Ouch!!!

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Nipple_Clamps_in_Use.png

originally posted to Flickr as Strawberry Love by Tracie.

November 26, 2011

Biblical Oddities

Biblical oddities offer surprise, provoke wonder and stimulate thought. Even if you don’t believe there are enough items of interest in this best seller of all time to make perusal a fascinating journey.

Here’s one everyone should like. It is somewhat sexual in nature and involves a place called Gilgal.

After the Israelites escaped from bondage in Egypt the practice of circumcising young males ended. When the tribes crossed the Jordan River, Joshua revived the practice.  At a place named “The Hill of the Foreskins” all males, young and old, underwent the minor surgical procedure and by doing so renewed the covenant made between God and Abraham. (Joshua 5)

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The Prophet Balaam and the Ass, by Rembrandt v...

The prophet Balaam by Rembrandt. Image via Wikipedia

One of my favorites is the tale of the talking donkey. No, this was not a case of Dr. Doolittle talking to the animals.

It’s the story of one Balaam who became angry at a stubborn donkey. The animal saw the angel of God blocking the road and refused to move. Balaam beat the donkey repeatedly until God had it speak.

What have I done that deserves your beating me three times,” the animal said.

Without wonder or amazement at the talking donkey Balaam replied: “Because you have made me look like a fool.” (Numbers 22: 21-34).

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A tale in Exodus that has some modern day application, implies that the fetus has an inferior status to a person.

The story tells of a law that punishes two men who are fighting and who injure a woman during the altercation. If the woman dies the man who causes the injury shall be executed. If, however, the woman is pregnant and suffers a miscarriage, the man shall only be fined.  Recent attempts to pass laws affording full person status to the fetus would seem to contradict the Bible.  (Exodus 21: 22-23).

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The Ten Commandments are listed in Exodus 20. Although Avarice is counted among the Seven Deadly Sins, the sin of Greed is not listed among the prohibitions of the commandments. Proverbs 15:27 however carries this warning: “He that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house….”

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This proverb made me think of Washington, DC. “If a man enjoys folly, something is wrong.” Proverb 15:21 was certainly a harbinger of the follyland that our nation’s capital has become.

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Saul – a nonbeliever and perhaps even a persecutor of Jesus – converted to belief after suffering what scholars believe may have been a stroke during a journey to Syria. After imagining a conversation with God he underwent a conversion to become a believer. When friends nursed him back to health he pursued the life of a proselytizer. In fact, Saul, who is referred to as Paul in the New Testament, is credited with more converts to the religion than is Jesus himself.

The religion, however, was not Christianity as we know it today. That religion did not exist. Paul actually preached a form of Judaism with Jesus at the core. And he was a successful fisher of men only because he insisted that Old Testament laws should not be applied to converts.

Christianity, of course, evolved over the centuries after many violent clashes among the clerics, to assume its present form. However Paul, along with Jesus, has been adopted by Christians as a founder.

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Jesus is considered by scholars such as Weber ...

Some scholars consider Jesus a charismatic leader. Others believe he was a rebel. There may be some truth to both ideas. Image via Wikipedia

Some scholars consider Jesus to be the leader of a rebellious movement. Hence his crucifixion, a punishment the Romans usually reserved for dissidents.

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It was Paul who wrote the words that man could be saved by faith alone, that is, belief in Jesus Christ as God. Good works as preached by the Church were not essential for salvation. Ironically, it was these words that helped Martin Luther overcome his struggle with the religion as it existed in his day and resulted in the greatest schism in religious history.

Issue of faith versus works did not end with this debate. For in James 2:20, the apostle insists that “Faith that does not result in good deeds is not real faith.”

Nonetheless, while there were numerous causes for the Reformation, Luther’s “justification by faith alone” numbers among them.

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The Bible does not answer the ultimate question about the existence of God: Why do we suffer?”

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Scholars refer to the first three books of the New Testament as the Synoptic Gospels. Because of the many similarities between Matthew, Mark and Luke, it is thought the books are derived from a single unknown source. That silent document is called “Q” from the German word “Quelle” meaning source.

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Remember. You don’t have to believe to take the journey. Happy traveling.