The DC Folly Trolley

Reports indicate that BPA levels soar in urine samples after eating canned soup.

File:Campbells.jpg

What’s that BPA doing in my soup?

It’s preparing to rearrange your hormones, sir.

BPA contains a compound that disrupts hormone levels and is associated with heart disease, diabetes and obesity.

Executives at canned soup companies have developed two solutions to the problem:

  1. Stop peeing
  2. Advertise BPA as a new flavor (Momma’s chicken soup never tasted this good).
  3. A new slogan: Real men eat canned soup.

I know, I know. That’s three, not two. But three is really hard to remember so if I get two right I’m happy.

***

The new fad in politics is to cry. Yep, that’s right. Just bust out in tears and you could be a real winner.

At recent tear shedding events Herman Cain and Rick Santorum cut loose. Past notables who have opened the ducts in public include Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton and Bob Dole, not to mention the tearful and frequent hysterics of John Boehner.

File:John Boehner golf.jpg

After missing the ball, the Speaker broke down.

***

Tiny Nation Of Iceland Tells Elite 1% To Go Screw Itself. Establishes New Government. “Screw The Banks” Policy Works. Success Suffers Total US News Blackout

The corporate media in the United States has banished news of events in Iceland from all of its outlets including newspapers, television and radio.

Iceland was and is once again a socialist democratic country. Not too many years ago it was one of the richest countries in the world. Its banks were publicly run institutions who operated mainly to benefit the citizens of Iceland.

Enter the ogre – the privatization monster. The banks were privatized, sought foreign investment, went deeply into debt and they and the Icelandic economy soon crashed. The privatization ogre in Europe insisted that the government repay the debt by instituting austerity measures.

In short, the people of the tiny country rebelled, removed the government and wrote a new constitution; and, voila` the country is back on its feet. And only because the people told the bankers and the other European elites that they will decide their own futures, thank you, so take a hike.

The actions of the people of Iceland represent a revolution and victory against the international power structure, in other words, the 1%. Hence, the total media blackout in the United States.

Regardless of the fear of the people that prompted the blackout, the people of Iceland sent a clear message to the 1%. To wit, vaffanculo which translated into English means bafangool.

***

Jesus wants everyone to own a pizza franchise, buy lottsa guns, run for president and stick their hands up a woman’s skirt.

Oh, wait. That’s Herman Cain.

Pizza man's here! . . . Herman Cain - Cartoon

Pizza man's here. Image by DonkeyHotey via Flickr

I think Herman also gets the two confused.

***

In case you haven’t heard, Hermie has gone and done it again. He’s signed the Susan B. Anthony “pro-life, anti-abortion” pledge. Not satisfied with putting his hands up a woman’s skirt, he wants to go even further and get them into the uterus.

Click the photo for full attribution:

File:Campbells.jpg

Campbell`s Soup, Originaldosen des bekannten Warholmotives, (eigenes Foto)
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