The White House announced today that it will be charging a $2.00 convenience fee to supporters who ask questions of the president at campaign rallies.
Republicans immediately countered with a $5.00 fee; $6.00 dollars if the question wasn’t approved in advance.
As you all know by now, President Obama has picked a fight with Republicans over the appointment of Richard Cordray to head the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.
The president challenged the GOP to a winner take all pinky wrestling contest. The match has been scheduled for January 9 and will be covered by all three major news networks as well as cable news outlets.
Senior Reporter Marcy Popindick of UPW News has obtained an exclusive story on the issue. According to a White House source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, the president suffered a sprained pinky finger in sparring matches with Press Secretary Jay Carney. The unnamed source reported that the president is currently undergoing treatment for the sprained little finger.
First responders rushed the chief executive to Walter Reed Army Medical Center where the emergency vehicle driver discovered the facility had been closed for several months.
According to Ms. Popindick, the vehicle transporting the president was last seen parked at a convenience store where it is believed the driver stopped to get directions to Bethesda Naval Medical Center.
Meanwhile, the president, who complained of persistent pain in his pinky, rested comfortably after the attendants administered a sedative.
Ms. Popindick reported that the president was scheduled to undergo an MRI to determine the extent of the injury.
In the interim, the president appointed his 10 year old daughter, Sasha, as the presidential replacement in the match should the chief executive not make a full recovery before the challenge event takes place.
Unfortunately, a conflict of scheduling forced Sasha to decline her father’s appointment.
Under the circumstances, the president had no choice but to make a recess appointment during the Senate’s holiday hiatus thereby pissing off Republicans to no end.
Ms. Popindick also reported today that unnamed Democrats are delighted with the filibuster arrangement as it exists in the Senate. It allows Republicans to overrule any legislation that benefits the 99% – thereby doing the dirty work for the Dems. So Democrats cash in on the big time corporate money through their complicity with the filibuster while pretending to their base that the meanies in the GOP keep obstructing their policies.
Hey, what’s the use of being a Democrat if you can’t stab your supporters in the back every once in a while.
Environmentalists have been protesting the use of Styrofoam for years. They’ve been doing so for the simple reason that it takes 1,000,000 years for the plastic to degrade.- yes, that’s right one million years. Personally, I’m not worried about it. From what I can ascertain from environmental policy in Follyland not too many politicians are concerned about it either.
I’ve been told that Styrofoam can be put to good use aerating soil. So fuggedabout all that mulch you been waiting to rot. Start throwing Styrofoam cups in your garden and mix them with the dirt. The nice thing about it is you’ll only have to do it once every million years or so.
The president announced two appointments to the Federal Reserve – one a Democrat, the other a Republican. GOP senators vowed to approve the nomination of the Republican but to reject the Democrat.
“Oh, poopy,” the president is reported to have said.