Random Musings

Judaism never had a “Hell.” Then along came the Christians and scared the shit outta everybody.

File:Anónimo - Inferno (ca. 1520).jpg

A depiction of Hell circa 1520, artist unknown.

***

If Jesus were alive today he couldn’t cure cripples. He couldn’t cure the disabled. He couldn’t even cure the disadvantaged. He could only cure the physically challenged and, of course, the mentally challenged. The greedily challenged, however, are beyond the help of even the Almighty.

***

We hear everyday that global warming is endangering the planet. Nothing could be further from the truth. The planet will do just fine. In fact in will remain intact and in orbit for billions of years, at least until the sun exhausts its supply of hydrogen and expands, thereby vaporizing everything between it and Mars.

So I wouldn’t worry about planet Earth for at least another five or six billion years.

File:Planet earth.jpeg

The question before us now is will the planet be able to support civilized life, human life at any level or life of any form whatsoever. We shall learn the answer to that question in short order.

***

Marriage is a strange custom. Ever wonder why it exists and who invented it? Apparently women gained security when they limited a relationship to one male. And the male was always certain that any offspring that resulted from the relationship bore his genes. He was therefore induced to support the children and the woman who delivered them.

But why the ceremony? Today a wedding costs thousands of dollars, the vows exchanged are often meaningless and far too many males split and refuse to support the offspring; or at least must be compelled by force of law to provide for the children.

File:Martita hunt the brides of dracula (1).jpg

Who said all brides are beautiful??  Photo from the movie The Brides of Dracula is in the public domain.

While monogamy in primitive times may have provided security for a female and her offspring, marriage today seems far from an acceptable arrangement. And the wedding to boot often costs thousands of dollars (or millions if you’re a member of “society”).

I seem to recall that American slaves would consummate a marriage by jumping over a broom. What could be simpler than that? And the system probably worked as well, if not better, than some of today’s million dollar blowouts.

And at some point though some clever lawyer would undoubtedly declare that if a spouse jumped over the broom in the opposite direction he or she would be divorced. Now that’s what I call simple.

***

Did you know that York, the capital of Canada during the War of 1812, was invaded and burned by American forces?

With revenge firmly imbedded in their hearts for the burning of their capital, British troops invaded the United States and marched on Washington, DC.

The U.S. Capitol after the burning of Washingt...

Washington, DC after British forces set it ablaze. Image via Wikipedia

American irregulars, armed with muskets, defended the city. At the first sight of disciplined British troops marching toward the US defenses, the American defenders tucked tail and ran. Obviously they didn’t want any part of that shit.

The British army then entered the US capital and, in retaliation for the burning of York, set fire to the city and burned it to the ground.

Betcha your history teacher never told you that. Betcha he didn’t know it either.

***

There was a time when I was so broke I couldn’t afford to take my girl to a free movie.

Yes. There were free movies on campus. However, you were expected to buy a coke and popcorn to support the worthless cause that was showing the free movie.

We managed to find other things to do. Thankfully she was a good sport. We would sit in the Commons with friends, each with old Coke cups we had saved, fill them with water and listen to jukebox music the other kids played.

For a long while I thought of those moments and missed them. I often wondered if she did.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: