Random Musings

Newt has demonstrated in the past that he certainly wants to get in there.

Scientists tell us that the G-spot – an area of pleasure in a woman – doesn’t really exist. The area is an accumulation of nerves that extend from the clitoris, the most sensitive area on a woman’s body.

Now I haven’t known – in the Biblical sense – a whole lot of women in my day. However, I never met one who cared where the pleasure originated as long as it came on a fairly regular basis.

I was lucky to know something about a woman’s body. When I was 17 years old, I sent away for a sex manual. You know, the kind that used to come in a brown paper wrapper.

You had to be 21 to send for it and sign a statement attesting to your age. Well, I figured I was close enough and since I worked and had my own checking account, I sent away for it.

Wow. Stuff you don’t know when you’re 17.

I was also fortunate enough to be able to practice some of the stuff I learned from the book on a girl who lived across the street. Actually, there were days when we sat and read the book together.

Back in the day just about all activity was permissible except actual penetration. Since birth control devices were not yet readily available to kids, and since we didn’t trust the rhythm method we’d read about, we pretty much limited activity to what was referred to as “heavy petting.” Most girls engaged in that practice. However, actual relations were verboten.

In any case, I cannot recall a single girl, or later women, who asked about a G-spot or even a clitoris.

Now I have to carry this scientific report just one step further and then I promise I’ll drop it.

File:T. rex old posture.jpg

I wonder if female dinosaurs were able to direct their male counterparts to the right spot. Maybe they just got fed up with all the shit and quit having sex altogether. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my theory of the great dinosaur extinction. The males just couldn’t find the G-spot.

So as far as the scientists are concerned: Have a ball and don’t worry about this or that spot.

***

Some psychiatrist has claimed that Newt Gingrich’s acts of infidelity are a qualification for the presidency – at least those that Gingrich admits to any way.

Gee whiz!!! If I only knew, I coulda been president. And had some fun along the way. And it’s a good way to make a fast buck besides.

Although, in my case, premarital infidelity would have to count – if there is such a thing.

Perhaps the reason no woman has ever been elected president of the US is that they’re just too damn faithful. Ladies, there’s a lesson to be learned here.

The psychiatrist’s name by the way is Keith Ablow. Ablow??? Are they kidding? Now there’s Rorschach fodder if I have saw it. 


Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Newt Wins SC Primary

Callista must really be excited. Betcha she gets a half million dollar shopping trip to Tiffany next week. If she ever becomes first lady the Marines will need a separate helicopter to transport her jewels to Camp David, a Chinook no doubt.

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One Comment to “Random Musings”

  1. Your posts are always entertainingly and oddly enlightening. 🙂

    And thanks for your fun contribution to last week’s Limerick-Off

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