The DC Folly Trolley

Heard the latest rumors about Olympia Snowe. She’s leaving the Senate and she never had an affair. Not homosexual, not bisexual, not even straight. How the hell did someone like that ever get elected to the Senate in the first place?

, U.S. Senator.

Snowe calls it quits. Just can't take the GOP insanity anymore. Image via Wikipedia

She’s a sly one though. This lady of Maine’s great coup occurred during the stimulus give and take in the Finance Committee. She managed to wittle down the package to one that Republicans could claim was a failure.

She repeatedly outwitted the Ivy League city slickers on the Obama economic team by presenting them with a bill that was sure to fail.

Even though the stimulus created and saved millions of jobs, it was much to small to achieve the objective of revitalizing the economy.

***

There’s an old Mafia saying: you gotta have the geetus. That goes double in politics. Not enough cabbage and you get to take the first plane out of Follyland.

The Dems didn’t push their agenda when they had a Democratic Congress because they were scared shitless that it might pass. And if it ever did the big money boys would stop greasing their palms.

That’s why the Dems love the filibuster. They can advocate for a fake populist agenda and then blame the Republicans for blocking it.

And, God forbid, if a portion of the agenda comes too close to passing, they can always depend on Joe Lieberman or Ben Nelson to shoot it down.

***

In view of the Church of Latter Day Saints’ custom of baptizing dead Jews, the bookstore at the Sardo Institute of Lame Humor is offering Mormons an opportunity to participate in a time honored Jewish tradition. 

The bookstore at the Institute announced today that it will begin selling a Mormon version of yarmulkes with the name of Brigham Young embroidered in 14 carat gold lettering emblazoned across the front of the cap. Yarmulkes for the ladies come with a pink tassel. And when you press the button on top of the cap, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir will burst into a chorus of Tzena, Tzena, Tzena sung in medieval Yiddish.

The yarmulke comes with a certificate that entitles the bearer to a Bar Mitzvah and contains a discount coupon for a rabbinical circumcision – even if you’ve already had one – rabbinical or otherwise. And be sure to ask about our postmortem Bar Mitzvah. Bat Mitzvahs are also available.

Mormons are encouraged to be the first in their temples to proudly display a Brigham Young yarmulke.

Send your order to The Sardo Institute Bookstore, Box 555 55 55, Pasta Fagioli, Italy. Yarmulkes are only $19.95 each plus $5.95 for shipping and handling. But if you act right now we’ll include a second yarmulke absolutely free. Just pay shipping and handling. Cash only please.

Better hurry! Offer available while supplies last.

 File:YarmulkeAndMenorah.jpg

A real yarmulke and a menorah from the Harry S. Truman collection.  

***

It’ll be Romney as the Republican nominee or, if the Mayan calendar is right about a calamity in 2012, Jeb Bush by default in a deadlocked GOP convention.

2016 is probably Jeb’s year. I suspect the Bush family is secretly hoping for an Obama victory.

Barbara Bush, Jeb Bush, George H. W. Bush, Lau...

The Bushes - hoping for an Obama victory in 2012? Image via Wikipedia

A spokesman for Jeb Bush announced today that if the former governor does not earn the Republican nomination for president in 2012 he will vote for Barack Obama. The spokesman said that if Obama wins reelection, Jeb feels certain he will be the GOP nominee in 2016 and should win the presidential election with ease

***

Referring to the Israel-Iran squabble, the president told a fund raising audience that he does not bluff. Well, he may not bluff, but that’s only because he folds with a winning hand.

***

Nice gesture by the president to a cruelly insulted young woman. He thanked Sandra Fluke for speaking out on the important issue of insurance payment for birth control. The Georgetown law student was then defamed by the defamer in chief, none other than Rush Limbaugh himself.

***

Rush Limbaugh makes his living by being a snot-nosed entertainer.

Phil Donahue and Rush Limbaugh's Back

Phil Donahue with Rush Limbaugh’s best feature in the background.  (Photo courtesy of Eddie S. Photostream).

Unfortunately for the nation, the millions who hang on his every word believe he is a journalist and that everything he says is sacred truth.

You have to understand Rush Limbaugh though. The man makes a living acting like an asshole. And he depends on other assholes for his bread and butter. It’s not his fault that the nation is filled with ignorant people. Moreover, it’s that crowd that makes him a multimillionaire – a true one percenter. And so he continually pounds right wing propaganda into the tiny brains of his listeners – many of whom reside firmly in the lower economic layers of the US and who may be rightly described as belonging to a class called the Ignorantsia. And after he finishes exploiting these dummies, he collects his cash.

So it’s not only Limbaugh who is an insult to civility and his country. His idolaters are as well.

Unfortunately for the nation, too many people consider this obnoxious entertainer a journalist.

***

353,000 MINUS 351,000 that’s a difference of, let’s see. I better get out my slide rule so I’m sure not to make a mathematical error here.

What did I do with that damn thing anyway! Oh, well, I guess you’ll just have to suffer through that mathematical problem all by yourselves. And I promise, I’ll try to come up with the right answer before the next leap year.

Anyway, the Labor Department ballyhooed that figure as a sign that the economy is on the mend. Yes, that’s right. Fewer people filed for unemployment benefits last week than the week before. Have you figured out how many fewer yet? NO! Well, take your time. There’s no hurry. And don’t feel bad ’cause the Labor Department doesn’t know shit from shoe polish anyway. (I would have used the defunct brand name Shinola but I didn’t want to associate a once fine shoe polish with Labor Department bullshit).

According to the LD, the unemployment rate was steady at 8.3 %. That figure however doesn’t include everyone whose unemployed. Go figure that figure.

You see, the Einstein’s at the LD stop counting unemployed people when they decide that these jobless souls are no longer looking for jobs. How do they figure that? Go figure. If they figured the actual number of unemployed along with those working part-time still looking for full time work, I figure the figure would be much higher than the LD’s figure. Probably somewhere in the low 20s. A 20% unemployment rate figure, however, just doesn’t figure well into Obama’s reelection message. At least that’s how I figure it.  

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2 Comments to “The DC Folly Trolley”

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