The DC Folly Trolley

If Congress passes a law declaring sperm to be people, the population of the world will increase exponentially – like maybe a trillion to the tenth power. Any guess as to how many zeros that is? And that might not be enough.

Personhood for sperm raises a lot of questions. Would a dead sperm need a decent burial? Could be a quick fix for the unemployment problem, ya know. Everybody would have to become an undertaker. Which raises more the questions: Would a sperm have to be embalmed? How much would a casket cost? Who would send flowers? Would a sperm need life insurance? How much would it cost? Would government assistance be available if the sperm didn’t have an insurance policy? Would Obama submit legislation to Congress mandating that all sperm carry life insurance?

Warning:  If you have an aversion to dirty pictures, stop here.

File:Sperm-egg.jpg

A dirty picture of a sperm that survived.

***

Wouldn’t legislation requiring sperm to be considered people make all men mass murderers? And women accessories? At least in some cases?

Just asking.

***

Rick Santorum is now advocating a ban on the distribution of pornography. He probably doesn’t know this but that position could cost him the entire South in the general election. Per capita, the Bible Belt states spend more money on pornographic material than any other region in the nation.

He says pornography is toxic to marriage and relationships. Well, so is fracking. It is also harmful to people’s health – fracking that is – and so far as I know he hasn’t called for a ban on that. And no doubt never will.

But before we go any further, we suggest one of Santorum’s advisers explain to him just exactly what fracking is so he doesn’t get it confused with that other thing you aren’t supposed to do if you use birth control when you’re doing it.  (So far, the BC ban applies only to Catholics.  So far).

Whether he succeeds in banning dirty pictures or not, the issue is still a good way to rile up the “better than thou” folks, like ya know, Christians who want you to live your life the way they tell you to.

***

Catholics who use birth control are committing a sin that will condemn their immortal souls to the raging fires of Hell for all eternity. Also, the pope doesn’t approve.

I guess the church’s policy applies to women only. The old men of the church have always hated women and it’s the women who use most of the stuff. Not the men mind you – unless we’re speaking of condoms and vasectomies.

Yes. Ever since Eve, it’s always been those damn women. Just can’t keep from spreading their legs. The “aspirin between the knees” method just doesn’t seem to be working – even with a whole bottle of the stuff in the medicine cabinet.

And all those rumors you’ve been reading about priests, bishops and popes fucking their brains out over the centuries are just that – rumors.

OK. OK. So some popes have had kids (out of wedlock of course so as not to violate the church’s celibacy rule). But so what. That doesn’t mean they have to like it.

Nevertheless, I’ve never known a priest who carried an aspirin in his pocket when inviting a woman from the parish for whatcha call your “religious consultation.” Not all priests like little boys, ya know. Some actually like girls. Provided they’ve reached the age of consent, naturally. Or maybe a bored housewife or two. Who can tell?

Oh, father. I forgot my aspirin.”

Don’t worry, my child. You won’t be needing it tonight.”

***

The Westboro Baptist Church – you know, those fundamentalist folks who hate just about every type of human behavior except that which they specifically approve – is apparently preparing ads to be broadcast on the Rush Limbaugh show. Birds of a feather. Guess they haven’t heard the rumors about Rush’s past.

Viagra anyone. The Westboro Baptist Church would approve. Aren’t you lucky?  There isn’t a whole lot these extremists do like.  You could say intolerance is their message.

Jael Phelps picketing Trinity Episcopal Church...

(This photo is copyrighted but free to use for any purpose). Image via Wikipedia

Westboro Baptist Church Anti-Jewish Picketing

Yes, they do pretend to be Christians. Image via Wikipedia (Public domain).

***

It’s time for AARP to support increases in Social Security. Retirees have been cheated long enough by schemes that underestimate inflation and shortchange seniors.

Members must face up to the facts. AARP is basically an insurance agency, perhaps the largest agency in the world. It gives nothing to its members they don’t pay for in premiums and members should realize they are getting nothing in return they aren’t paying for.

As for the benefits it claims for members, many other organizations offer similar discounts.

The message from retirees to the executives of AARP is a simple one: Support increases to retirement programs or back off. You are either with the retirees or against them.

These meetings with the cut-and-gut crowd are totally unnecessary and uncalled for. In fact, they raise suspicions of a scam in the making.

***

There is one way the Ryan health insurance debacle can be rescued. That is for government to pay 100% of the premiums demanded by health insurance companies forever. Yeah, right.

The real scam of the Ryan plan is to dump medical costs of the elderly on to the individual whether or not he or she has insurance and can pay for the care. The plan’s terms can be summed up in one phrase: Can’t pay, no doctor. You’re on your own, pal.

We’ll all be retired someday and the American people have demonstrated time and again that they want the social programs now in place to remain a part of the nation’s social safety net. And are willing to pay for the programs through payroll deductions. The cut and gut politicians who are trying to destroy the programs are acting in defiance of the will of the people and on behalf of a tiny minority of the rich.

And now back to Paul Ryan (the one with the shit eating grin – see photo) the tax cut and spend right wing Republican. Ryan voted repeatedly and continuously to raise the deficit and spend, spend, spend during the Bush administration. The man is one of the biggest spenders in the GOP – and that takes some doing, for with few exceptions, Republicans have shown themselves to be among the biggest spenders on the planet.

File:Paul Ryan, official portrait, 111th Congress.jpg

***

Darrell Issa, entombed for eight years during the Bush Administration, has finally emerged from his cacoon.

He said we’ve been lied to by the Justice Department.

 

Well, for heaven’s sake. You don’t say.

We were lied to for eight years during the Bush administration. And Issa is just coming to the realization that government lies. Fasinating.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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2 Comments to “The DC Folly Trolley”

  1. I just like the valuable information you supply to your articles. I will bookmark your blog and test once more here regularly. I am rather sure I’ll be informed plenty of new stuff proper here! Best of luck for the next!

  2. It’s so good to see that Republicans have their priorities … uh … straight. 🙂

    Sigh….

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