Archive for May 18th, 2012

May 18, 2012

Sex On Campus

Daily Kos has published excerpts from the Liberty University manual that outlines acceptable student behavior.  Things like you can’t get laid on campus even if you’re screwing a member of the opposite sex are forbidden.  Actually, you can’t get laid off campus either.  Students are permitted to hold hands however.  I’m presuming same sex holding hands is prohibited.

File:Bonderson Farm crib barn and cow shed.JPG

A photo of a chapel at a small religious institution.

The dress code forbids female students from wearing skirts whose hemlines reach above the knee.

Now it’s been a long time since I’ve been in college.  But while I was there, I did learn a thing or two.  One of my observations regarded skirts.  What I discovered was that skirts with hemlines above the knee are tighter and usually more difficult to raise while skirts with hemlines below the knee are looser and raise in a jiffy.

Panties slip off quite easily in either case.

Given the strict rules about hemlines at Liberty, I’m assuming the ladies don’t simply undress but have to be coaxed just a little bit – as they did back in the day – before they would allow their beaus that delightful access. So I’m sure the guys at Liberty have discovered this peculiar phenomenon about tight and loose skirts all by themselves.

Actually, if two consenting adults are engaging in safe sex it’s nobody’s business but their own regardless of whomever is wearing the skirt.

Daily Kos

Read the article at Daily Kos: Liberty University’s “The Liberty Way” exposed

***

Officials at The Sardo Institute of Higher Learning have been receiving criticism from local residents after portions of The Institute’s Code of Behavior for Students were published in the student newspaper on the campus located in Pasta Fagioli, Italy.  The Code was published to encourage students from others universities to transfer to the Sardo Institute.

Students who would like to transfer can fill out an application and send it along with the $300.00 application fee to:

Admissions:  The Sardo Institute
                          PO Box 555 55 55
                          Pasta Fagioli, Italy
                          Cash only please.
 

A summary of the Code of Behavior follows.

Article I of the Code states that the only acceptable position when engaging in sexual relations is the man on top and the woman beneath him.  The newspaper insisted that this Article represented a 20th view of man Tarzan, woman Jane attitude.

Officials pointed out however that article XI of the Code permitted role playing and role switching and this rule allowed the woman to assume the Tarzan role and get on top of the male Jane.

Article II states that sex is only permitted between a man and a woman or any combination thereof.

Group sex is strictly limited to weekends.

Sex in motor vehicles of any kind is prohibited.  That’s what dormitories are for.

Sex in the library is forbidden unless performed in a discreet manner so as not to disturb other students who may be engaged in the same activity.

Female students must adhere to a strict dress code.  Skirt hemlines, for example, must reach at least twelve inches above the knee.  Shorter are skirts are permitted; panties are optional and bras are frowned upon.

Single piece bathing suits may not be worn in swimming pool areas.  They are, however, suitable classroom attire.

Article LXVIII forbids oral sex.  The next article permits it provided it is performed with at least one consenting adult partner.

Farting on campus is strictly forbidden, but especially in the library between the bookshelves.  Unless, of course, you’re a dinosaur.  Dinosaurs can fart wherever they want.

Actual FOX News Headline: “Dinosaurs May Have Farted Themselves to Extinction.” Enough Said | BuzzFlash.org

File:Triceratops tyrannosaurus.jpg