Archive for September, 2012

September 30, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 09/26/12

Committee Awards Prize.

From it’s hideout in Pasta Fagioli, Italy, the Nobella Prize Committe announced the recipient of its most coveted award. Scott Brown, Republican Senator from Massachusetts, is the most recent winner of the Schmuckup Prize.

Brown won for his staff’s ridiculing the Cherokee heritage of Senate opponent Elizabeth Warren. The staff shouted war hoops and used the tomahawk chop in its demonstration against the Democratic candidate.

The Nobella Committee also learned that Brown and his staff prepared a celebration later in the day and invited the GOP Senate and House leadership to participate in the festivities.

A war dance was scheduled with Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell playing the tom-tom.  Speaker John Boehner was expected to bring feather headdresses and tomahawks. The celebration had to be canceled, however, when McConnell suffered a bullshit stroke.  He realized the GOP message just isn’t working anymore.

Despite the cancellation, the Committee felt Brown was entitled to the prize and offered its hearty congratulations to the senator for his win.

File:BedfordMuseumTomTomDrum.JPG

A ceremonial tom tom.

Winners of The Schmuckup Prize receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize.

In addition, winners are given the coveted statuette called The Little Schmucky engraved with the words “Schmucked up beyond all reason.” The Little Schmucky is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. All prizes are awarded while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.

***

Here is a bulletin from the UPW newsroom!!!

BREAKING! BREAKING! BREAKING!

News outlets reported again that Fox News told the truth. At this point, UPW has no confirmation of the reports. But correspondents from UPW are following up and checking sources.

More on this story as details become available.

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After consulting with several fact checking organizations, UPW cannot confirm that the Republican Party propaganda organ, sometimes referred to as Fox News, did in fact tell the truth.

***

Fashion designers have implemented a new feel-good size range for full-bodied women. The sizes are very tiny, tiny and small. OK, so they fudged a little. But you gotta admit it makes you feel good.

***

The so-called Red States lead the nation in food stamp subsidies. Guess they’re sick and tired of people going hungry – and that includes themselves and their children.

So they accept the food stamps, eat and watch a NASCAR race, then vote to have their food stamps taken away. Just hard to figure some people out.

File:NASCAR practice.jpg

NASCAR: Watching cars go in circles really, really fast.  Then praying for a violent crash and hoping nobody gets killed.   

***

Hey, what’s wrong with a little starvation when it’s within your power to deny a woman her right to have an abortion or access to birth control? Ask most any media preacher. He’ll tell you. Starving’s OK when you’re doing the Lord’s work.

And be sure to keep those donations coming. After all, those TV preachers – almost entirely right wing conservatives –  are doing the Lord’s work too, don’t ya know.  Besides private jets and backyard runways cost a lot of money these days. And country club fees just keep going up.  

Donations don’t grow on trees, ya know.

***

A Republican senator blocked a bill in the Senate Veteran Affairs Committee that would grant a cost of living allowance for vets’ disability benefits.

This little piece of stupidity falls under the “you’ve got to be kidding me” category. Of course, we are talking Repubs here and no doubt they powwowed together, drew straws and picked the unlucky guy who’d screw the vets.

But it’s a secret so no harm done. Under one of the most ignorant legislative rules in the history of the body, a single senator can block a measure because of a unanimous consent requirement. And he doesn’t even have to reveal his name. That little piece of stupidity falls under the “you’ve got to be kidding me” category.

However, and only after heavy criticism and the fact that Repubs remembered that this is an election year, Sen. Richard Burr (R-NC) announced that the issue had been resolved and the bill would be released from committee.

The statement coming from Burr’s office raised suspicions that it was the cowardly senator from NC who blocked the bill in committee.

Republicans should not be discouraged however. They will now have an opportunity to vote against the legislation on the Senate floor. Their names will be recorded though so they will probably try to delay a floor vote until after the election when they can kill the bill with impunity.

Hypocrisy unbounded from the “support the troops” gang. People actually vote for these creatures.

Only in America.

***

That former wrestling mogul Linda McMahon is running for the Senate in Connecticut again. Some people you just can’t get rid of.

Well, she’s in the news because she proposed a sunset for Social Security. That is, you set a date and vote whether to continue or kill it. No doubt how McMahon would vote. Kill it for sure.

She also wants to raise the retirement age and means test to eliminate wealthy people like her who already detest the program and want desperately to destroy it. Means testing just gives the rich another excuse to get rid of it. Not that they really need an excuse.

***

According to Clare McCaskill (D-MO), her opponent in the Senate election Todd Akin is so wacko right wing he makes Michele Bachmann look like a hippie.

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You can pierce and tat just about anything anywhere.  (Wiros from Barcelona, Spain).  

A report from UPW News Senior Political Analyst Marcy Popindick indicates that Bachmann may have once been a hippie. There are persistent rumors that Bachmann has a tattoo and a piercing. The tattoo is on her ass. No word about the location of the piercing. Ouch!

***

The polls are going from bad to worse for Mitt Romney. But let’s not judge the guy too harshly. Just because he dissed 47% of the population of the entire nation is no reason not to vote for him – at least according to some unidentified woman known only as Ann.

Besides, nobody believes polls anyways. Right Ann???

***

According to polls, voters gave higher approval ratings to George W. Bush than they are giving to Mitt Romney.  

That factotum gives rise to speculation that stupid can only get just so stupid and then it stops. Hope really does spring eternal, Even stupidity has its limits.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t count on it. Better to go vote.

On the other hand, if you’re still wondering who to vote for, stay home. 

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***

Too soon to light up the stogie

Remember the wisdom of Yogi

It ain’t over till it’s over

There is no four leaf clover

Don’t vote and you’ll score a bogey.

***

So you still think the Republican deficit issue isn’t a hypocritical lie???  Check the chart.  The really, really big time spenders are – drum roll please – the Republicans.




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September 23, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 09/23/12

Let’s raise taxes on the wealthy. Let them eat caviar.  A generic brand, that is. The beluga sturgeon is an endangered species. Hate to make rich folks suffer like that but should the sturgeon become extinct aristocrats may never again experience the joy of feasting on beluga caviar.

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Beluga caviar – always served on a Mother of Pearl spoon so as not to disturb the subtle essence of this rare delicacy.  (Photo courtesy of THOR and Saibo).

***

Mitt’s campaign is in great disarray

Even Republicans are walking away

They’ve left Mitt behind

To watch him unwind

And refuse to join in the fray.

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Apparently for Mitt Romney’s campaign the shit has finally hit the fan. Solution: Get a new fan.

Same old shit.

***

If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there. Mitt Romney.

No, not Romney. Actually, Yogi Berra.

English: Yankees players (L-R:) , , in 1953.

English: Yankees players (L-R:) , , in 1953. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yogi Berra, left, with Yankee teammates Hank Bauer and Mickey Mantle (right).

Another Berra-ism we should all keep in mind: It ain’t over till it’s over.

***

Mitt Romney says energy oughter

Stress solar, wind and water

But coal, gas and oil

Give cash to despoil.

So wind turbines will go to the slaughter.

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Mitt Romney sorta like maybe praised Adolph Hitler for his energy policy. Isn’t it strange how the right wing brain wanders aimlessly until it hits a Hitler note.

Birds of a feather.

Actually I’ve heard that Hitler did make the trains run on time. What a guy!!!!!

Actually Mussolini also made the trains run on time. But the passengers had to peddle really, really fast.

Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini in Munich, G...

Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini in Munich, Germany (Photo credit: Marion Doss)

That’s not an Italian joke; it’s a Mussolini joke, feeble as it may be.

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My paternal grandparents despised the pompous dictator and as a child I remember that when conversations arose about the evils Mussolini inflicted upon Italy and tempers began to flare, an uncle would always pipe up in a smartass tone: “But he made the trains run on time.” The second line never needed repeating, it was simply understood. And the laughter wafted through the large rooms of that grand old house.

Those discussions came up many times long after Mussolini’s dismembered corpse met its desecrated end.

It was years later that I came to understand that the seemingly innocent pun originated out of the contempt and bitterness Italian-Americans felt toward the foolish little man who envisioned the restoration of the Roman Empire.

However, not even Mussolini could get the trains to run on time during the summer. Italy closes in August.

That’s an Italian joke, feeble as it may be.

However, it’s not too far from the truth. Having dealt with Italian companies for many years now, I’ve found that service levels do indeed decline during the month named after the first Roman emperor. Many Italians vacation during August and some companies work only with skeleton crews.

***

Speaking of empires, other than Roman that is, Obama seems to be deflating what many of our brethren have come to call the American Empire. He’s already pulled troops out of Iraq, although not entirely by choice. And now he’s drawing down troops committed to the conquest of Afghanistan. Could this mean our Empire is in retreat after only slightly more than a century of existence (assuming it began after the conquest of the Philippines following the Spanish-American War). We can only hope.

***

We may be tucking tail and pulling some troops out of Afghanistan. But we’ll leave some behind though and a puppet government besides.

Afghanistan, as you probably know by now, is rich in rare elements.

Abandon three trillion dollars in natural resources and a pipeline to gas and oil in former Soviet Republics!!!!! That’ll be the day.

And so, as from the beginning of time, the ruling class today expects the small people to cater to their needs. The small people have been placed on this Earth to serve. If they must die in that service, oh well, that’s why God made the small people. Right Mitt and Ann.

We will maintain a presence in that poor, war torn country because Wall Street is salivating over the wealth that can be extracted from that mineral rich region; and the people of that exploited nation will get what the common man in Iraq got – squat.

***

The national debt is titanic

It’s making us all rather manic

But the crisis is a load

Since most money is owed

To ourselves so there’s really no panic

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The national debt is around $16 trillion give or take a couple hundred billion. We owe ourselves about $2.5 trillion for Social Security funds stashed in the safest investment in the world called US Treasuries – and, by the way, earning interest. After subtracting other government trusts, we owe about $12 trillion dollars to the public.

Most of that is owed to – drum roll please – ourselves. Yes, we owe us a lot of money, most of which is invested by wealthy Americans in mutual funds which in turn invest a portion of the money they receive in – drum roll please – US Treasuries.

We owe China about $1.2 trillion and the rest of the world slightly more – about $2.8 trillion.

So it’s no wonder rich Americans are worried about the debt. They own most of it and would like to get their money back some day. And they will, mostly because the level of debt we now owe as a percentage of GDP is quite manageable.

If, however, the right wing wackos decide that the US Government should default, the most efficient sequence would be to welsh on the debt we owe to rich Americans After all, wealthy people have scads of loot to fall back on.  And a default of that nature would mean we’re not paying ourselves what we owe us in the first place. We would, of course, instantly wipe out more than half of the debt. No problem.

***

Now let’s look at the national debt from a different perspective and compare it to household debt – uh, with a few minor changes.

Let’s say your spouse spends a thousand dollars a week every week. Not a good situation if you’re household income is only one hundred dollars a week.

Not to worry though. And here’s why. In your garage you have a machine, which you’ve named the Fed, that can print legal tender. So you go into the garage once a week and print nine hundred dollars. Voila, balanced budget.

But your spouse knows this and ups the ante and now spends two thousand dollars a week.

Not to worry. And here’s why. You have one thousand neighbors who will pay you ten dollars a week more than they are now paying just because you tell them they have to.

Now hold on here. Something is very wrong. 1000 x 10 = 10,000. You have an eight thousand dollar a week surplus and if that excess continues, you will soon have a recession to deal with because all that revenue you’re collecting is no longer available to your neighbors to buy things.  So, to avoid a sharp decline in demand, you must now tell your spouse that he/she must find a way to spend eight thousand dollars a week more.

A better way might be to tell your neighbors that they can now pay you nine dollars a week less. That will make them very happy. But your spouse might be sad because now he/she can only spend the original two thousand dollars and no more to keep the household budget in balance.

Well, as you might expect, your spouse refuses to cut expenses and continues to spend the whole ten thousand dollars every week.

Not to worry. And here’s why. You can sell bonds – call them Household Treasury Bonds – at the rate of eight thousand dollars a week to a central bank you created for just that purpose. The central bank- it’s the same one that owns the printing machine in the garage and which you’ve named the Fed – buys the bonds and you get the cash. Voila. Balanced budget.

There are hazards with the scenario no doubt. We mentioned one – recession. If excess funds collected from your neighbors – call them taxes – continue to mount you will soon find that some of your neighbors are losing their jobs. The other danger is inflation.  If you print too many dollars relative to your GDP, that is, the goods and services produced by those neighbors who so obligingly give you a portion of their paychecks every week,  your dollars will be worth less and you’ll need more of them to buy a loaf of bread.

However, your household system of managing the budget can be manipulated in such a way so as to avoid both hazards.

Oh, if we only had our own printing presses and a private Fed.

***

Paul Ryan is having a sad thought

The campaign is coming to naught.

Shoulda stayed in the House

As quiet as a mouse

Instead it’s with nightmares he’s fraught.

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Hello, Paul. Paul, it’s me, your mother. Call me. If you don’t call me I’m voting for Obama.”

***

Mitt Romney defined middle class

With numbers he pulled from his ass

Instead of a hero

He’s turned into a zero

In this game he gets no free pass.

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Mitt Romney defined “middle class” as persons earning something in the neighborhood of a quarter million dollars a year.

This is the group of people, and those earning more, for whom Romney intends to lower taxes. Of course, this dufus plan is just another installment of Randian, supply side silliness. But we are talking Republicans here.

The Romney/Ryan plan would cut taxes for everyone but balance the budget by eliminating deductions. The specifics are lacking; but only because the net result of cuts plus dropping deductions and credits would increase taxes for most lower and middle income Americans, that is, the vast majority of us.

The deductions most likely to vanish are the mortgage interest deduction, the employer expense deduction for medical benefits (you pay the difference), the child tax credit, the earned income credit, the education credit…. Well, you get the picture.

 

If deductions for upper income persons amounted to less than the cuts, the wealthy would benefit enormously. Shhhhh, that’s a secret.

As for the rest of us, if we don’t earn that kind of scratch, well, that’s just our fault isn’t it.

File:Ben Bernanke official portrait.jpg

Ben Bernanke – playing politics as chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank by ignoring the mandate of the Fed to help create jobs.

***

The American Jobs Act could have created 2,000,000 jobs. But Republicans couldn’t allow that to happen. If the GOP is to win the election, the American people must suffer.

The GOP voted down the Jobs for Vets legislation. Hey, just because they’re vets doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have to suffer too. Right GOP? Right.

***

A conservative Democrat failed to impose his right wing agenda to profitize a big city school system. Rahm Emanuel tried his best to put some school scratch into his Wall Street buddies’ pockets. But, alas, he failed.

Wall Street must be in tears now that their attempt to demonize teachers and their union has been thwarted – for three more years anyway.

Now there’s a method to this madness and it’s called profit.

According to studies, however, profit charter schools aren’t doing much better at educating children than some public schools. The charter schools do provide a handsome return for investors – which is really the movement’s primary function.

Charter schools are doing approximately 17% better than public schools according to the National Association of Secondary School Principals and most of that improvement comes in the better school districts.

Where savings are achieved they come largely at the expense of teacher salaries. Cut teacher salaries????? The perfect storm for failure.

A study from Stanford University, one from Rand Corporation and another from the Department of Education found improvements in profitized schools versus public to be mediocre at best and again mostly in the better school districts.

And bear in mind the charter system is a movement desperately trying to prove itself. Once advocates succeed in destroying public education, we’ll see the reality of this demented idea and it is likely to be nothing more than a profit monster for investors.

I’m sure there are many other studies and it may be too early for a verdict but evidence to date suggests that the charter school movement is on a path to failure.

Why? Simple really. The charter system isn’t a movement to improve the education of kids. It is another method of extracting taxpayer dollars to benefit investors by redistributing wealth upwards.

Blame teachers; profitize schools; cash dividend check; relax on yacht; deposit profits in Caymans.

Nice haul of taxpayer dollars if you can smoke enough voters.

This idea is getting stale.

***

Mitt Romney and that fella from Wisconsin he chose for his running mate are losing ground on the issue of health insurance for seniors – mostly because their plan is not Medicare.

It’s called Vouchercare, the anti-Medicare program.

Here’s how it works.

Blame “greedy geezers” for outrageous health care costs; profitize health insurance for seniors; cash dividend check; relax on yacht; deposit profits in Caymans.

Another nice haul of taxpayer dollars.

***

She’s baaaaaaack! Michele Bachmann is in the news. She must have been getting depressed from lack of media attention.  

She ridiculed Obama’s foreign policy by calling it “genius.”  She continued that the policy was responsible for the anti-American riots in Arab countries. 

Remember she gets migraines. Yes, they’re awful. So awful in fact they can interfere with performance.

Whether or not she had a headache when she made that statement isn’t really the point.; She gives everyone a headache every time she speaks.

I guess we all know by now that Michele is on the House Intelligence (sic) Committee. Irony compounded!!!!!

Only in America.

***

Obama seems to believe the Republicans will be more amenable to his agenda in a second term. Does he really think they will help elect Joe Biden in 2016???

Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether the president has a vision or is having visions.  

Even loyal supporter Nancy Pelosi disagrees.  She stated that Republican obstruction will continue if Obama is reelected.

Barack just doesn’t get any respect.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

***

Eric Cantor admitted that cuts to government spending will eliminate jobs. That admission was GOP heresy of course even though it is truth so obvious you have to be economically ignorant to deny the fact

Actually, several Republicans made that public admission by fessing up to the fact that cuts to the war budget would cost jobs. Some of our most cynical officials – hello, Lindsey Graham, are you there – encouraged war contractors to fire employees before the cuts were enacted in a devious effort to head them off. Since the war budget is financed solely by taxpayer dollars, i.e., government spending, the GOPers who opposed the cuts admitted that the despised spending really, really does create jobs.

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September 15, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 09/15/12

Complete Defeat

Michele Whatshername (R-MN) managed to get her face back in the news.

File:Bachmann2011.jpg

Always thought she was a pretty little lady. Too bad she needs intensive anti-GOP therapy. Perhaps her husband could open a clinic.

According to Ms. Whatshername, the United States has suffered a “complete defeat” in Libya and Egypt.

The president of the United States has surrendered the entire armed forces of the nation to the rioting mobs in the Middle East. The surrender terms included turning over to the mobs all of the tanks and other weapons possessed by the Army, the entire fleet of the Navy and all Air Force aircraft.

That’s the bad news. The good news is the president managed to reduce the war budget down to zero in less than fifteen minutes.

In light of these sharp reductions, the White House announced that it expects to decrease the deficit by 3, 000, 000, 000, 000 dollars in less than four years.

Whatshername said she applauded the decision to reduce the deficit but all those zeros gave her a migraine.

***

Romney is desperately seeking a knockout blow – that one single issue that turns public opinion against the president and wins the election.

His desperation is becoming more apparent with each passing day as he continually grasps at straws. With this so called foreign policy issue he seems to have scraped the bottom of the barrel.

The media didn’t give him a free pass on the misstep as they have on many other occasions, his refusal to release tax returns is one example. That issue has gone quiet even though something rancid rots therein.

***

The Republican Party as we all once knew it passed into history decades ago.

File:GOP Presidential Debate June 13, 2011 in New Hampshire.jpg

Hard to believe but those faces pictured above represent the best the current GOP has to offer. Image by DonkeyHotey..

The party today is all about gaining power to pursue an extreme right wing agenda even if it means millions of Americans must suffer in the process.

The party now stoops to “assassinating” its own in primaries to squelch differences. Anyone who strays from the message is considered a heretic who must be removed from office. Dick Luger of Indiana learned that lesson the hard way when his own party turned against him in the primary because he refused to adhere to strict party discipline.

That’s today’s Republican party.: Discipline enforcers through threats and political assassination.

President of the United States Theodore Roosev...

***

Dwight D. Eisenhower photo portrait.

Members of a party that vanished a long, long time ago.

File:Abraham Lincoln head on shoulders photo portrait.jpg

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Janet Granholm should have been the keynote speaker at the DNC. She was dynamite compared to the male firecrackers.

***

Rush Limbaugh declared the GOP dead is Obama wins the election. The Republican party has been dead for decades. It is now populated by a body of usurpers.

 ***

Republicans may think Mitt Romney’s campaign is lackluster. But what did they expect from a man whose greatest political assets are his hairstylist and his dentist?

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Can a person be judged by his smile?

When it’s really meant to beguile.

Judgment is OK we’d say

If a smirk does truly display

A haughty contempt that we all find so vile.

***

Mitt Romney has been criticizing Obama and the DNC for not mentioning God in its platform.

The Democrats apologized for the omission and added the name of the Almighty thusly:

God, God, God, God,God, God, God, God. The name now appears more times in the Dem’s platform than in the Republican’s.

So there,” said a spokesman for the DNC.

***

If elected, Romney vows to place The Lord’s Prayer on the backside of quarters. The sample coin has already been minted.

The image of a soaring American eagle is located on the face of the coin as a tribute to the contributions Wall Street has recently made to the nation’s economy.

Unfortunately for Romney, the designer of the prototype mistakenly placed the image of an American black vulture on the coin and Mighty Mitt couldn’t tell the difference.

The American Black Vulture seeking its prey.  (Photo courtesy of Martien Brand from Mariënberg, The Netherlands).

So look for quarters with the Lord’s Prayer on one side and a black vulture on the other.

A tribute to Wall Street!!!  I guess it’s kind of fitting in a way.

***

Time for another ride on the GOP Wacky Wagon. Some Republican guy who has risen to a leadership position in the Kansas House has applied Psalm 109 to the current president. Speaker of the House Mike O’Neal called for the widowhood of Michelle Obama and prayed that the children be fatherless.

So you don’t have to look it up, here is the portion of Psalm 109 that the Wacky Wagon passenger wished upon Obama:

Let his days be few; and let another take his office. May his children be fatherless; and his wife a widow. May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven from their ruined homes. May a creditor seize all he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor. May no one extend kindness to him or take pity on his fatherless children.

From what kind of brain can such mindlessness seep to the surface? A GOP brain of course.

File:Bob bell bozo roy brown cooky 1976.JPG

I Googled “Republicans in the Kansas State Legislature” and all I got was a bunch of clowns.

This episode occurred some time ago and to their credit some Christian pastors called for the Speaker’s resignation.

The guy is undoubtedly a racist. And from the racist brain this is the kind of stupidity that rises exponentially on a regular basis.

America’s decline has as much to do with racism and hatred as it does with GOP policies that favor the rich. In point of fact, the two go hand and hand. It’s the result of something called latent racism and often times it isn’t so latent. It is revealed only sub rosa and only to the most trusted fellow racists.

How did it ever come to this? The South and its heartless preachers are partly to blame, especially after 1964 and the passage of Lyndon Johnson’s civil rights legislation, when just enough Southern voters – largely low income white males and their compliant wives – turned against the progressive policies of the Democratic party and became part and parcel of Richard Nixon’s race baiting Southern strategy.

Sadly, the strategy and the people who embrace it do a great injustice to the many liberal Southerners who support progressive values and stand for “liberty and justice for all.”

***

Rumors are cropping up once again that Joe Scarborough will run for president in 2016. He is undoubtedly testing the waters. Gingerly at this point. And a bid will require a Romney defeat this year.

However, his candidacy shouldn’t be treated lightly. He is, after all, an entertainer with a nice hairdo. Both are excellent qualifications for the office of president.

We all know what happened the last time an entertainer with a nice hairdo ran for president. He won two terms and his policies are still in force and a major factor in the destruction of a middle class.

An entertainer with a nice hairdo in the White House!!!!!

Only in America.

***

The real unemployment rate is 23%.

The official unemployment rate includes people who have lost their jobs but counts only those who are out of work for the previous five weeks. The figure published by the BLS and accepted unwittingly by a majority of Americans was 8.1% for August. That number is purely for propaganda purposes. And it suits the purpose of government because most Americans simply believe it or just don’t care about it.

The propaganda figure excludes all persons who have not found work for 12 months; and also those who are marginally employed, that is, those forced into part time work because real jobs are not available.

That’s how the number at the top of the article comes from. It includes the unemployed regardless of how long they have been without a job and those who are marginally (working part time) employed.

Nearly one quarter of the American labor is unemployed.

U3-official figure 8.1%-always a fictitious number based only on the past five weeks.

U6-15%-includes those who the government assumes are not looking for work because they haven’t found a job in 12 months. Excludes all who have not worked for more than 12 months. Another fiction.

Real unemployment-23%-includes U3 and U6 plus workers forced into part time work.

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Obama tried to do more. But his efforts were repeatedly blocked by Republican obstruction as the members of this obnoxious party erected a virtual blockade of Senate action.

Our top political priority over the next two years should be to deny President Obama a second term,” Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell proclaimed to the world.

What evil lurks in the minds of men???

Left unsaid was the pervasive GOP attitude: “I don’t care a rat’s ass about how much Americans suffer. After all they are the small people and really don’t matter one bit.

McConnell will long be remembered in the annals of American history for the bold statement: “My donors, right or wrong.”

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September 8, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 09/09/12

Ready for another ride on the GOP Wacky Wagon.

An example of a GOP Wacky Wagon stuck in the mud. A member of the party is about to make a statement.

Rep. Roscoe Bartlett of Maryland equated student loans with a slippery slope that could lead to another Holocaust. I can’t conceive of the path a mind takes to get from student loans to the Holocaust. But some brains can make that incredible leap faster than it takes light to travel in a second.

Once he realized the stupidity of his remark he apologized. However, as a famous comedian once said: “You can’t fix stupid.”

OK, so he apologized. But like all statements from Republicans who bought a ticket on the Wacky Wagon, Bartlett’s remark offers a macabre view into the deep, dark recesses of the GOP brain. There’s just something wrong there and it’s scary.

***  

The GOP mind has done the impossible and broken the Einsteinian barrier in the process. The Republican brain can go from numb to stupid faster than the speed of light.

File:Relativity-formula.png

In accordance with its policy of denying scientific truths, the Republican party declared Einstein’s theory unconstitutional.

***

The Obama campaign suffered a setback this week as job figures indicated only 96,000 created. Most of those jobs were in the low paying service industry as manufacturing jobs declined. Overall, the figure was a disappointment for Obama.

The unemployment rate did however tick downward to 8.1%. Critics quickly pointed out that the drop was due largely to removing from the rolls all those unemployed who have been without work for so long they are considered no longer looking for employment.

Under the circumstances, the administration has ordered the Bureau of Labor Statistics to consider anyone who has been out of work for more than ten minutes as no longer looking for employment. The Obama campaign anticipates a precipitous drop in the unemployment rate for September.

***

In contrast to the BLS statistics, ADP reported 201,000 jobs created in August. Given the better ADP numbers, Obama ordered the Labor Department to disband the BLS and begin using numbers generated by the payroll firm.

***

Bill Clinton criticized Paul Ryan in the speech he made at the Democratic National Convention. During the spiel, he used the word “brass” to describe Ryan’s criticism of the cuts to Medicare mandated by the Affordable Care Act pointing out that the VP candidate’s own program called for the very same cuts.

Moreover Big Dog’s remark was a valid crack at Ryan’s confused approach toward spending and tax cuts in general

The inference was of course that Ryan is so hypocritical he has “brass balls” to think he can get away with his numbers legerdemain. The statement is truth personified. 

 

Courtesy DonkeyHotey

But I wonder if the former president was referring to another word that rhymes with brass. Ryan is, as we all know, the back half of the Romney ticket.

As for me, I would in no way ever infer that Ryan is an “elephant ass.” Even though an elephant has a very large posterior, it doesn’t seem quite large enough to describe Ryan and his budget antics. Whale’s ass, whale’s ass, whale’s ass. Hmmmm. We’re getting closer.

***

The “brass” word drew a reaction from Ryan. No matter. After all party conventions are little more than multimillion dollar pep rallies. So the expectation is that criticism of the opposition will ensue. .

Bill Clinton said Ryan has brass. 

But Paul speaks out of his ass

He took Federal funds

So much that it stuns.

Then prayed for a fail at each Mass.

.

He’s a hypocrite all the way through

He stands for cuts with the few .

We know he’s a fake

For cash he will take

And drag it back home by the slew.

***

Janet Granholm, former Michigan governor, gave a barn burner of a speech at the DNC. So much so that she made the guys look like a bunch of pussies. We shouldn’t be surprised though. I mean, let’s face it, they are Democrats.

***

A Republican appeals court declared unconstitutional a Minnesota law requiring corporations to make disclosures about their campaign advertising. In a lot of words, the GOP members of the court said the disclosure law represented an infringement of free speech.

The question I have always asked is that if speech is supposedly “free” why does it cost so much to advertise it on TV, and radio that only the rich elite can afford to pay for it. The public, after all, owns the airwaves over which speech is transmitted. And those airwaves should be available to all responsible parties to get their points of view across to the public and the should be, well, free.

Given the outlandishly high cost of advertising and the fact that the most effective method of putting views before the public is through electronic means, speech in America is no longer “free” at all. You need a bundle of cash to pay for it.

***

Greedy geezer Alan Simpson can’t seem to keep his name out of the news. Here is a man who sucked at the government teat for most of his life and is still sucking at a government pension; who was appointed to the Cat Food Commission by a president determined to make cuts to the social safety net; a man who co-chaired a committee that failed utterly to achieve a consensus report; this man’s name and his disastrous recommendations are still out there for consideration.

photo

Greedy geezer Alan Simpson has sucked at the government teat for most of his life, first as a senator and now collecting an extravagant government pension. On his back is co-chair of the failed Cat Food Commission, the aristocrat Erskine Bowles. (Courtesy DonkeyHotey).

Even the once avid Democratic defender of Social Security and Medicare, Nancy Pelosi, embraced the repudiated Simpson-Bowles calamity,

But the corpse keeps rising from the grave like some supernatural movie monster. Now called the “grand bargain”, it is still being touted by a so-called Democratic president who foolishly supports it even at the peril of his presidency.

Pelosi, by the way, was almost certainly strong armed by Obama into supporting the president’s cat food proposals by threats to her leadership position. If she were bumped from the top spot, the right wing “Democrat” Steny Hoyer would become the next Speaker of the House should his party win back that branch.

So the repudiated report of the Cat Food Commission, rejected by the committee members themselves, lives on with the name of the nasty Simpson still associated with it.

But let’s not forget that it lives only because a Democratic president continually breathes life into it.

***

Are we better off today than we were during the Bush years? Of course we are, despite the fact that we have a president frightened of right wing criticism at the helm.

The economy has stabilized and the fear of collapse has receded. The president’s policies, half-way measures at best, did indeed prevent an even greater disaster than the one we face today. .

Yes, we’re better off now.

The prez deserves a bow.

Yet it hasn’t been fun

Left a big job undone.

Now bipartisanship he must disavow. .

.

Yes, we are better off now.

But Keynes the prez must avow.

His deficit coddling

With GOP throttling

Caused pain we should never allow. .

.

Yes, we are better off now.

But the prez must continue to plow

Through a Senate blockade.

Despite efforts he made

He could not dissuade

The Tea Party from the plans they endow.

.

Yes we are better off now

Though supply side’s the sacred cow.

But stimulus he’ll pursue

While deficit he’ll eschew

And to no one again will he ever kowtow.

.

Are we better off now?  Yes, we are.

The market is soaring afar.

But we cannot desert

The people who hurt

So reach he must for a star.

.

Are we better off now? Yes, we are.

Though we still can’t go to a bar.

Our town is dry

So a drink we can’t buy

For libation we travel too far.

***

As a liberal, this election presents a choice as poor as any since Clinton-Dole in 1996. The options in November are between the dangerous duo, Romney-Ryan and a Wall Street sugar daddy in Barack Obama.

Yes, a Wall Street sugar daddy. From the very beginning, his appointments reflected a strong bent toward his benefactors from the banks and investment firms.

The patsy Tim Geithner and avid deregulationist Larry Summers sent the message to the Street that it had nothing to fear from an Obama administration. His Justice Department refused to prosecute, he lent luke warm support to pretend financial regulation and rejected effective support to homeowners facing foreclosure.

And where did this kowtowing to the Big Money Boys on the Street get him?  Apparently, he hurt their feelings for not rejecting outright any and all forms of regulation.  And because of the mere appearance Dodd-Frank lent to the idea that they somehow may have been responsible for the near collapse of the world economy, they’ve forsaken the president.

While he left many of his supporters in the lurch, Obama simply could not do enough to earn once again the payoff money lavished upon him by Wall Street fraudsters in 2008. They’re now supporting Romney.

I guess it’s true. What goes around comes around. Obama learned too late that the President of the United States is a servant, not of the people, but of the monied elite. And Mitt Romney is their boy in 2012.

***

Mitt Romney has an image problem. He appears to many voters as a straight laced, starched collar, investment bank fraudster.

I wonder why.

His wife’s speech before the Republican National Convention was intended to dispel that notion that he’s an uncaring automaton.

Well, the effort failed.

The mention that when Romney has a muffin for breakfast he eats the top and discards the rest was supposed to reveal a human touch of the man. Go figure. His whole aura just seems to get worse. He’s robot man.

.

In order to boost Mitt’s appeal

He started his own brand new deal.

A muffin a day

Throw the bottom away

To reveal not conceal a robotic schlemiel.

***

According to Andy Borowitz, the presidential race is close among viewers with no TV sets. UPW polling numbers differ somewhat. The worldwide news outlet reports that viewers with no TV sets preferred Obama by 66-2/3 % versus Romney’s 33-1/3%.

All three viewers said they planned to buy at least one TV in the coming weeks – adding significantly to the rise in the consumer confidence index of 17% reported by Gallup.

When asked by a reporter from a competing news organization how someone without a TV set could be described as a viewer, UPW Senior Correspondent Marcy Popindick flipped him a bird.

This report comes to you from Unreliable Press Worldwide, surpassing the mainstream media in bringing you worthlessly useless news the world over.

You can read the real report by the most astute political observer in America today by clicking the link below:

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/09/poll-race-close-among-voters-with-no-television.html

***

I mentioned above that the 1996 choice between Clinton-Dole was one of the worst I had ever faced during a presidential election.

I voted for Clinton holding my nose as the saying goes.

Clinton, after all, signed off on NAFTA, a really crummy deal crafted during the administration of Bush I. Bush of course was too slick a politician to sign off on the pact during his first term.  That act would almost certainly have lost the election. So he left the dirty deed for his second term.

Ross Perot’s entry into the race changed the calculus in 1992 so the notorious deed was left to Clinton.

That trade agreement is still causing incalculable damage to the economy of the United States and has had a disastrous effect on the lives of millions of people in Mexico. According to some economists, NAFTA is partly responsible for the wave of starving immigrants rushing into the U.S.

Add to that Clinton’s perfectly awful second term – deregulation, the big corporate mergers that hastened economic oligarchy (telecommunications, Exxon-Mobil, the banks), his attempt to privatize Social Security in a deal with Newt Gingrich and much more – and you have arguably one of the worst presidents of the twentieth century.

 

Democrats give him a 69% favorability rating. Think we’ve been smoked?  No doubt about it.  And remember, up from Clinton’s ashes grew Barack Obama whose attack on the safety net is unparalleled for a so-called Democratic president.

So there you have it. Once again one of the worst options in recent American elections. The choice between the dangerous duo of Romney-Ryan or the less dangerous Obama.

Only in America.

September 3, 2012

GOP Proposes Senior Diet

GOP Diet Plan for seniors.

The basic diet consists of dry cat food, generic brand (it’s cheaper). Eat a small bowl for breakfast every day. Water may be added if utility bill payments are up to date.

Cat food for sale at an Istanbul animal market

Cat food for sale at an Istanbul animal market (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Seniors will be gratified to know that the variety of cat foods is almost inexhaustible. Comparison shopping is essential however and generic brands are always cheaper.

Join together in groups of five and buy a fifty pound bag of dry cat food. Always buy off brand. Can’t be too cost conscious when living on a starvation budget. Then divide the contents equally. Buying in bulk always saves money.

Eat dry or, if your teeth are bothering you from lack of dental care, mix with water and wait for the vittles to soften.

If seniors save their money, at Thanksgiving and Christmas they can buy a tin of canned cat food. Or, for a real treat, dog food, which when water is added, produces a savory gravy.

Heat on the stove if the electicity hasn’t been turned off due to late payments.

And, by the way, don’t count on the kids for help. They’ll likely be moving in before long if they’re not alreay there

***

Paul Ryan’s habitual lyin’

Has poor momma soulfully cryin’

To heaven this critter will never arrive

He’ll be headin’ straight south his last day alive

.

For Ryan it’s just too late

St. Peter will shut the gate

About this there’s no denyin’

In Hades his toes will be fryin’.

.

Of course it won’t keep him from tryin’

To land in the White House before diein’

He is for sure a good talker

At heart though just a squawker

.

His Vouchercare he’ll hawk

But mostly it’s empty talk

Yet truth reveal he’ll not dare.

For it will surely doom his Vouchercare.

.

Increase it will insurance stock

While care the plan will certainly block

As patients suffer round the clock.

And leave a nation in total shock.

.

How could they fall for blatant lyin’

Too many have there’s no denyin’

New laws for seniors he’ll be applyin’

By sleight of hand that’s slick Paul Ryan.

***

You just gotta love the way the pretend media in this country treats the seriously serious budget of seriously serious Paul “Lyin” Ryan.

These media imposters call him courageous. I haven’t quite figured out exactly what is so courageous about cutting taxes for rich people or wasting more money on war spending.

I guess these pundit posers believe it’s “courageous” too starve the poor and elderly, deny medical care to tens of millions (including little children) and cheat hard working Americans out of their earned Social Security benefit.

Ryan is nothing short of a fiscal phony. Yet in these United States, such vile behaviour on the part of Paul Ryan is considered “courageous” by a media as phony as the phony they’re protecting.

***

Whatcha call your “Defense” Department has suspended training of a police force in Afghanistan until trainees are screened for possible ties to the Taliban.

It’s absolutely flabbergasting that the most powerful empire ever to exist on this raped planet can’t train a police force – a goddam police force fer chrissakes – in ten years of occupation.

We’ve had generals with four feathers in their caps, all kinds of shiny, metal thingies on their shoulders and piles of bird shit on the visors of their caps in charge of that exploited country for a decade and they can’t train a police force!!!!!

What an empire??? Is it any wonder the country is in such dreadful condition?

Trillions wasted for war making capability; then they go chintsy for treatment for wounded men and women, deducting millions from the paychecks of maimed soldiers for food they receive in military hospitals while recovering from the wounds of war.

These acts are no doubt decisions made by those generals with the bird shit on their caps I mentioned a few sentences ago.

Those guys have been at the military game for decades and they’re still trying to win a war. Problem is, they’ll never stop trying. We need to find a country they can invade and conquer and then let them pound their chests in victory. Like maybe Eritrea; or Haiti after a hurricane. Then we keep our fingers crossed so that they don’t fuck it up.

Losing all these wars is getting discouraging for the subjects of the empire. Trillions spent and the Einsteins at the top can’t train a police force let alone win a freaking war.

***

You’ve seen these numbers before but they’re worth repeating. Below are the clowns (aka presidents of the U.S.) who are most responsible for the modest debt the nation now carries. Yes, the debt is both modest and manageable despite the phony hysterics drummed up by the rich whose sole purpose is to destroy Social Security and Medicare so they can get their hands on the money.

The clown responsible for the largest increase and the president beatified by the Republican Party is none other than small government guru Ronald Reagan. He is followed by the president who caused more damage to the country than all other presidents, the one, the only George W. Bush. This guy is followed by his daddy. The two Democratic presidents during this era created less debt combined than George’s daddy alone.

***

Courtsey of Bartcop, here is a comment by Maureen Dowd, columnist for the New York Times, revealing the phony nature of the man just named VP candidate for the GOP.

September 2, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 09/02/12

Republicans held their pep rally in Tampa this week. The bonfire had to be cancelled due to inclement weather.

Attendees were asked to check the bulletin board for hospitality suite locations. Those who weren’t already too drunk to read showed up in record numbers at these frat party clones and partied through the night.

At the convention itself, the delegation that threw the most stuff at an African-American camera woman won a prize.

***

I tried to read Chris Christie’s autobiographical outline (aka keynote speech) twice. It seems he had really great parents. So what happened?

Christie was supposed to jump up and down kicking his legs high into the air while leading the cheer for Romney. Workman, however, feared the reinforced platform would not support the New Jersey governor. .

Did Christie mention more tax cuts for rich people or did I miss that part?

Paralyzed by the need for love,” gov. I’ve never heard it referred to as that before. Take an extra Viagra.

Have you tried masturbation? .

Maybe he should go on a cat food diet.  Losing weight can improve sex life.   And Chris, dry is healthier than canned. Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

***

Speaking of diets here is the GOP Diet Plan for seniors who live on the average Social ­-­Security check: Dry cat food for breakfast, skip lunch, then a beef flavored doggie bone for dinner.

When Medicare is destroyed and seniors are forced onto Ryan’s Vouchercare, the GOP Diet Plan calls for the elderly to break the dinner doggie bone in half.

***

My sources in the Obama campaign are telling me that Joe Biden’s mouth has been duct taped. The action was forced upon Obama’s advisers because of Biden’s statement guaranteeing that Social Security would not be touched. And the next time his says something that the majority of Americans agree with, he’ll be serving a tour in Gitmo.

***

Here is a doozie uttered by the right wing extremeist Paul Ryan:  “The method of conception does not change the definition of life.”

The statement occurred in the context of a discussion of rape.  And some people seem to think Ryan was merely repeating scientific truths.

OK, then. Here’s some scientific truth for Ryan to ponder: The method of murder doesn’t change the definition death. And since we all have to die someday, I guess the “method” of death is of no consequence.  Huh!!!

In any case, I cannot imagine a woman who becomes pregnant as the result of a rape considering the act a “method” of conception.

While a pregnancy may occur as a result of this brutal act, considering brutality another “method” for a woman to conceive is, well, inconceivable.

Ryan’s statement is another view into the deep, dark recesses of the Republican mind and another striking example of the GOP’s war on women. This right wing extremeist of course got a free pass from what pretends to be the media in this country.

***

 Ann Romney has always been a stay at home mom. And the kids never wanted for life’s goodies. The servants made the chocolate chip cookies. They also popped the pop corn. Ann never could get that right. Like, ya know, all those buttons on the microwave and everything.

***

Republicans don’t have a problem with women provided the ladies follow Scripture and obey their husbands in all matters. Oh, and at all times walk five paces behind their spouses as a show of respect for male dominance. Other than that, no problem.

***

Romney had a visitation from Jesus in 2008. Jesus told him if he ran for president he would win. Well, Jesus was wrong. Mighty Mitt didn’t even get the nomination.

This time Romney bypassed Jesus and went straight to the Big Guy, God Himself. God told him the same thing. “A few more lies, Mitt, and you should wrap this whole thing up.”

One thing you should know about the Almighty. Before he became God, he was a Catholic bishop.

Religious Alert: The pevious sentence is a reference to child molestion practiced by Catholic priests and covered up by many bishops – the so-called defenders of the faith. They flat out lied and got away with it. Perhaps Romney is living by the example the bishops set. And for these people at least, God approves of lying.  Or so you would think by their actions.  

***

NASA’s Wide-field Infrared Survey (WISE) telescope discovered a huge number of supermassive black holes last week. The black holes were previously unknown to exist. NASA engineers focused the device on the Tampa Bay Times Forum, host to the Republican National Convention. The telescope also discovered a number celestial objects known as Hot Dogs for hot, dust-obscured goofballs. These objects, referred to as “goofies”, were also observed in profusion at the RNC.

Read the real article at Huffington Post.  Black Holes: Millions Revealed By NASA’s WISE Space Telescope