The DC Folly Trolley – 09/02/12

Republicans held their pep rally in Tampa this week. The bonfire had to be cancelled due to inclement weather.

Attendees were asked to check the bulletin board for hospitality suite locations. Those who weren’t already too drunk to read showed up in record numbers at these frat party clones and partied through the night.

At the convention itself, the delegation that threw the most stuff at an African-American camera woman won a prize.

***

I tried to read Chris Christie’s autobiographical outline (aka keynote speech) twice. It seems he had really great parents. So what happened?

Christie was supposed to jump up and down kicking his legs high into the air while leading the cheer for Romney. Workman, however, feared the reinforced platform would not support the New Jersey governor. .

Did Christie mention more tax cuts for rich people or did I miss that part?

Paralyzed by the need for love,” gov. I’ve never heard it referred to as that before. Take an extra Viagra.

Have you tried masturbation? .

Maybe he should go on a cat food diet.  Losing weight can improve sex life.   And Chris, dry is healthier than canned. Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

***

Speaking of diets here is the GOP Diet Plan for seniors who live on the average Social ­-­Security check: Dry cat food for breakfast, skip lunch, then a beef flavored doggie bone for dinner.

When Medicare is destroyed and seniors are forced onto Ryan’s Vouchercare, the GOP Diet Plan calls for the elderly to break the dinner doggie bone in half.

***

My sources in the Obama campaign are telling me that Joe Biden’s mouth has been duct taped. The action was forced upon Obama’s advisers because of Biden’s statement guaranteeing that Social Security would not be touched. And the next time his says something that the majority of Americans agree with, he’ll be serving a tour in Gitmo.

***

Here is a doozie uttered by the right wing extremeist Paul Ryan:  “The method of conception does not change the definition of life.”

The statement occurred in the context of a discussion of rape.  And some people seem to think Ryan was merely repeating scientific truths.

OK, then. Here’s some scientific truth for Ryan to ponder: The method of murder doesn’t change the definition death. And since we all have to die someday, I guess the “method” of death is of no consequence.  Huh!!!

In any case, I cannot imagine a woman who becomes pregnant as the result of a rape considering the act a “method” of conception.

While a pregnancy may occur as a result of this brutal act, considering brutality another “method” for a woman to conceive is, well, inconceivable.

Ryan’s statement is another view into the deep, dark recesses of the Republican mind and another striking example of the GOP’s war on women. This right wing extremeist of course got a free pass from what pretends to be the media in this country.

***

 Ann Romney has always been a stay at home mom. And the kids never wanted for life’s goodies. The servants made the chocolate chip cookies. They also popped the pop corn. Ann never could get that right. Like, ya know, all those buttons on the microwave and everything.

***

Republicans don’t have a problem with women provided the ladies follow Scripture and obey their husbands in all matters. Oh, and at all times walk five paces behind their spouses as a show of respect for male dominance. Other than that, no problem.

***

Romney had a visitation from Jesus in 2008. Jesus told him if he ran for president he would win. Well, Jesus was wrong. Mighty Mitt didn’t even get the nomination.

This time Romney bypassed Jesus and went straight to the Big Guy, God Himself. God told him the same thing. “A few more lies, Mitt, and you should wrap this whole thing up.”

One thing you should know about the Almighty. Before he became God, he was a Catholic bishop.

Religious Alert: The pevious sentence is a reference to child molestion practiced by Catholic priests and covered up by many bishops – the so-called defenders of the faith. They flat out lied and got away with it. Perhaps Romney is living by the example the bishops set. And for these people at least, God approves of lying.  Or so you would think by their actions.  

***

NASA’s Wide-field Infrared Survey (WISE) telescope discovered a huge number of supermassive black holes last week. The black holes were previously unknown to exist. NASA engineers focused the device on the Tampa Bay Times Forum, host to the Republican National Convention. The telescope also discovered a number celestial objects known as Hot Dogs for hot, dust-obscured goofballs. These objects, referred to as “goofies”, were also observed in profusion at the RNC.

Read the real article at Huffington Post.  Black Holes: Millions Revealed By NASA’s WISE Space Telescope  

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