Archive for October, 2012

October 28, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 10/28/12

Mitt Romney continually attacks President Obama for apologizing for America during his first trip abroad.

File:Barack Obama.jpg

The nations of the world got to see a friendly face for a change.

The president, of course, did not apologize. The visits to foreign countries could be characterized as a necessary fence mending tour to wipe the slate clean in the aftermath of the clumsy foreign policy of the previous administration.

The callous treatment of nations by the Bush/Cheney regime can only be described as retarded, mentally challenged, stupid.  Yes, that’s it, stupid.

Mending fences was the least the new president could do.

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Senility strikes early for Republican politicians – somewhere around the age of 40.

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Republicans believe the Earth is 9000 years old. It is of course much older. However, researchers at the Sardo Institute of Higher Learning located in Pasta Fagioli, Italy, have isolated a defective gene created by God in the year 9182 BCE. The nasty little piece of DNA has migrated to the gene pool of Republicans. According to scientists at the Institute the gene causes Republicans to make stupid remarks about women, sex, rape and abortion.

Scientists have named the gene the GWB anomaly after former U.S. President George W. Bush.

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The latest Republican to make such a remark and among the many who possess the GWB anomaly,is one Richard Mourdock, now running for the Indiana Senate seat seized from Sen. Richard Lugar by Tea Party zealots.

Republicans - King, Walsh, Mourdock, Akin & West

Republicans – King, Walsh, Mourdock, Akin & West (Photo credit: DonkeyHotey)

OK, so the guy says he stated his beliefs poorly. To that I say, no he didn’t. What he said is exactly what he believes.

Who knows what evil lurks in the deep, dark recesses of the GOP brain?

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Some Republican guy named Mourdock

Emerged from a cave a feared warlock

He said from a rape

No woman can escape

Though conception may leave her in shock.

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A life cannot be aborted

Says Mourdock in words contorted

God he avers is OK

With a woman suffering each day

Through a life that rape has distorted.

***

A good way to make some extra cash during retirement is to rob banks. After all, the biggest bank robbers today are the bankers themselves.

Of course, the government guarantees that the bankers will get away with it. You might not be so lucky.

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Obama says Ayn Rand is for teens. Not too sure about that. The philosophy may be puerile, but the books are definitely not for the young.

File:Ayn Rand Marker.jpg

The final resting place of the novelist and her husband. Who would have thought that such an innocent woman could be the purveyor of a pernicious philosophy.

I tried to read Atlas Shrugged and was well out of my teens at the time. I got about halfway through. It was so god awful I just could not finish it. It was worse than The Brothers Karamazov, which I forced myself to finish. Can’t recommend either novel however.

I have read about Rand’s ideas and agree with Obama: They are childish. Her philosophy, called Objectivism, promotes the idea of rational selfishness – itself a contradiction. All selfishness is irrational.

We all act in our own self-interest. It is a need that exists in all of nature. But we can do so without being selfish – a consuming passion that arises from sheer greed and is a destructive force.

Rand was also a proponent of laissez-faire capitalism. She would be surprised to learn that today’s Wall Street capitalists reject that economic idea. You don’t have to read the modern trade agreements entered into by the United States with numerous foreign nations to realize that the pacts consist of a host of regulations that protect American corporations.

Laissez-faire??? If it were truly implemented, Wall Street would have a collective heart attack.

Nothing says rejection of Ayn Rand’s Objectivism than modern trade policy. The 1% dumped this deified pseudo-philosopher’s ideas long ago. With one very important exception. They apply Objectivism to the rest of us. To sum it up in a simple phrase: You’re on your own pal.

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John Sununu accused Colin Powell of racism because the former general endorsed Barack Obama for president.

I recall Powell’s 2008 announcement supporting Obama. It was one of the most reasoned endorsements I’d heard from any public figure. He supports the president for many of the same reasons, many of which are still valid.

Sununu, on the other hand, is a grouchy old man, who should have been turned out to pasture years ago. Unlike other ill-tempered and dangerous neocons on the Romney team, Sununu is harmless.

However, to accuse someone of racism as a member of a party that exploits that evil idea for political gain is reckless, irresponsible and foolhardy.

Well, whaddya know. I just came up with a definition of the entire GOP establishment.

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Romney’s allies quite frequently base
Their attacks on Obama on race.
Of this fact, Mitt’s aware—
Seems he just doesn’t care.
Mitt’s campaign’s racist face — a disgrace!

Mad Kane

http://www.madkane.com/madness/2012/10/25/richard-mourdoch-rape-gift-from-god-limerick/

***

Recently caught an article for women about the advantages of having small breasts.

I guess there are many good reasons for having small breasts, not the least of which is millions of men love them. Yes, that’s right. Some don’t like to admit it, for whatever reason I’ve never understood. But they do love them.

I’ve always felt big breasts are beautiful and small breasts are adorable.

But then again, I’m a leg man so I really don’t care.

Either way, women with small breasts have no need to fret.

Men are luckier. The bigger the better, sure. But one size fits all.

And I hope this year all sizes vote for Obama.

***

By the way, there is also a nascent pubic hair debate. Do like yours with or without?

You’ll have to excuse me now. I’m late for an appointment with my psychiatrist. She’s a small breasted, with.

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October 20, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 10/20/12

Mitt Romney says government doesn’t create jobs. But when he becomes president, he promises to create twelve million jobs.  That of course is a contradiction if not an outright lie. But who notices. 

And last time I checked, “president” was a government job.

File:Volunteers of America Soup Kitchen WDC.gif

What a jobs program might look like under Mighty Mitt. “Brother, can you spare a dime?”

If you’re in the job-creating business, why stop at twelve. I can create fifteen million jobs. Better yet, make that twenty million.

OK, how?

How??? You wanna know how??? Nobody ever asked Mitt that question.

Actually, nobody had to ask Mitt. He sorta volunteered the information. Not the details, mind you. Just a little info.

As a government employee, Mighty Mitt says he will create jobs – a feat which he has said on numerous occasions gobmint can’t perform – by lowering taxes for supply-sided rich people and by deregulating regulations no one enforces anyway (remember the Gulf and mining disasters).

Ya just gotta love the Mittster.

***

Shhhhh. I have a secret. Don’t repeat this to a soul.

Dinesh D;Sousa is having an affair.

The president of The King’s College – a conservative Christian liberal arts school – has been observed cavorting, cavorting mind you, with a woman who is not his wife.

The Christian community is beside itself with scandal. After all, Christians just don’t behave in this manner. It’s worse than drinking and gambling (except for Bingo).

Dinesh shared a room with this woman who is not his wife and the two came down together in the morning.

Now let’s be fair here. It’s entirely possible nothing happened while they slept together in the same room   Doesn’t mean they shared the same bed does it? Maybe she made him sleep on the floor. Maybe they both remained fully clothed. Perhaps God sent an angel to act as chaperon and the angel kept them apart.

On the other hand, they could have been fucking their brains out all night.

There is a “however” here however.

However, Dinesh, an Indian American – no, not that kind of Indian, the other kind – did introduce the woman he may or may not have banged all night, as his fiance and he is divorcing his wife of 20 years.

We should probably give Dinesh the benefit of the doubt since no one actually witnessed the activities the couple may or may not have engaged in during the night. And keep in mind, cavorting with thy neighbor’s wife is not forbidden by the Ten Commandments. Only “coveting” is prohibited. So Dinesh, you get a pass on this one, even though as a result of your behavior, you felt compelled to resign as president of the conservative Christian liberal arts school, The King’s College.

We report. You decide.

***

Mitt Romney has been upside down, inside out and backwards on so many issues, he doesn’t know which way to turn.

His advisers have developed a new device that will help the candidate assume all positions at once.  It defies the natural laws of the universe by allowing Romney to go in two directions simultaneously. The contraption has been named “Romnesia.”

It has been patented by Bain Capital, will be manufactured in China and then marketed in the U.S. under the name Milk d’Romnesia.

The device will be implanted in the brain and people who suffer anxiety and confusion when pulled in two directions at once can now have it both ways. Just like Romney.

Actually, I made that stuff up. Not the part about Romney having it both ways. Just the part about the Romnesia machine.

The word was coined by President Obama this week and refers to Romney’s attempts to – what else – have everything both ways.

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Will the real Mitt Romney please invert himself?   (Photo by DonkeyHotey).

Mighty Mitt has a case of Romnesia

Which isn’t as bad as amnesia

But it clogs the brains

So truth it restrains

And it can’t be cured by Milk of Magnesia

***

Binder. A word recently popularized by Mitt Romney. It refers to this thing he had filled with women. OK,OK, the names of women. Sam Malone used to call it a little black book.

In any case, the word binder will never mean the same.

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Once had a binder kept in a nook

Used to call it my little black book

As I got old

The book grew mold

But its pages hold secrets of rides that I took.

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Mitt had a binder he frequently used

He recently got it completely confused

With another black binder

The real woman finder

Ah, those were the days he so sadly mused.

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Betcha Mitt still has that little black binder tucked away somewhere.

***

The election of 2012 raises two perplexing questions. The first is how the GOP could put up someone for president who so brazenly epitomizes the excesses of casino capitalism that have destroyed the economy and overwhelmed our democracy. The second is why the Democrats have failed to point this out. Robert Reich.

The mystery of the American psyche continues unabated. We have filled the history of the American presidency with characters who have repeatedly defiled the office. But none is as overtly perverse as Mitt Romney who stands at the doorstep of the White House and could well be its next occupant.

Why Democrats have failed to point out Romney’s perversity is less a mystery. For the Dems dwell in the same cash cesspool fertilized continuously by Wall Street and corporate payola and, they fear, any attempt to expose Romney as a vulture capitalist would drain all that green sludge from the tank.

***

If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament – Gloria Steinem.

***

In the debate against Paul Ryan, Biden used the right word to describe the Romney/Ryan platform – malarkey.

I prefer twaddle myself.

Joe had a good laugh and we should all be laughing with him.

photo

Biden/Ryan by DonkeyHotey.

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Teary eyed Republicans made themselves evident after the Biden/Ryan debate.

One Greta Van Susteren was especially weepy. She called Joe Biden rude. Can you imagine? Rude.

He wasn’t. He was simply aggressive. And if Biden had been polite and mannerly, the media would have declared him the loser with Susteren the first among them.

Let’s be honest. The debates are becoming theater. The debaters are performers. They rehearse their parts including answers to potential questions. True, as in beauty contests, the contestants don’t know the questions in advance. But they must act out their roles to satisfy media expectations and if rudeness and bullying win the day, this is the way media personalities want it.

Weeping when your guy gets blown away by the aggressive tactics of his opponent is sour grapes.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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In debate Rep. Ryan took a hit

So Republicans went into a snit

They said Joe Biden was rude

As he laughed at their wonky dude

But a fire under Dems the Veep lit.

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Joe Biden left Ryan no escapes

And Republicans wept sour grapes

But their weeping was creepy

While Ryan looked sleepy

As Joe stole the house, kitchen sink and the drapes.

***

The Romney/Ryan tax plan is a sneak attack on the middle class.

Does anybody really believe that Romney will close loopholes that create cash for the rich who are the largest source of payola for the two parties?

October 13, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 10/13/12

You gotta love Mitt Romney’s health care plan. He said nobody has to die in their apartment. You just go to the emergency room. Voila! The nation’s health care problem has just been solved. Why didn’t I think of that?

Healthcare Is A Human Right!

From DonkeyHotey

 

Mitt Romney says nobody dies

So enjoy a Big Mac and french fries

And if you get sick

You can take a trip quick

To an ER and avoid your demise.

***

Charlie Fuqua, a legislative candidate from Arkansas, called for the execution of disobedient children and sighted The Bible as justification for his belief.

Well, as you might expect, Charlie’s advocacy of a death sentence for bad kids does indeed receive support from The Bible. Yes, it’s right there in Leviticus 20:9.

“Anyone who curses his father or mother shall surely be put to death….”

Now there are lots of ways that sentence can be inflicted. Crucifixion would be a slow and excruciatingly painful way to teach the little bastards a lesson and I’m sure Charlie would approve. After all, that method is mentioned somewhere in The Bible as well, right. And with the right wing makeup of the Supreme Court, there wouldn’t be any Eighth Amendment hangups about “cruel and unusual punishment.” I mean, like, it is in The Bible, ya know.

The Romans favorite method of execution for rebellious slaves was crucifixion. It was a slow and excruciatingly painful way to die. Death resulted from asphyxiation and could take days The painting is by Russian artist Fedor Andreevich Bronnikov.

I have a better and slower and even crueler way to get rid of a bunch of little brats, one the Romans never thought of.  Now don’t get mad at me.  Killing them off is in The Bible, ya know.

How about forcing them to eat lunch in the school cafeteria.

A couple of meals there should do the trick. I had one once on a Dad’s Day. Damn near killed me. My son brought a sandwich from home. He learned the lesson the hard way. Fortunately, we both survived school lunches and are still alive today.

Oh, I almost forgot. These guys get nuttier all the time. Fuqua types, that is.

Oh, I almost forgot. The Bible also says:

“If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife, both the man and the woman shall be put to death.”

If put into practice, that verse should quell any and all adultery epidemics now and in the future. Or reduce the surplus population considerably.

Read the article about Fuqua at Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Have you heard? There was a debate this week. Yes, that’s right. It was between Smilin’ Joe Biden and Wonkie Paul Ryan. The rep. trom Wisconsin again reiterated the Republican sneak attack on the middle class. He of course called it the Romney tax plan. Biden riposted that the plan doesn’t make any sense. He should have said it can only work if the middle class deductions are decimated but Ryan refused to specify which deductions would hit the chopping block. Hence, the accusation that the plan is a sneak attack on the middle class is justified.

Joe Biden - Caricature 

Now come on, Joe, let’s see that famous smile.

***

Romney Campaign Aborts Abortion Turnabout.

The Romney campaign reversed Romney’s reversal on abortion proving once again it’s still possible to abort an abortion.

Uh, excuse me Mr. Lehrer, can I take that reversal back?”

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Romney once supported abortion rights. Then he opposed them. Then he said he opposed them but he wouldn’t pass legislation that would prevent a woman from getting an abortion. Does that mean he supports abortion? Nooooooo. It means he would promote legislation to protect life and therefore opposes abortion.

I think he said he wants to reverse his reversal but I can’t tell anymore which reversal he’s reversing.

Way to go, Mitt. That should keep ’em guessing.

Not to worry. Whatever reversal he reversed, I’m sure he’ll reverse it again tomorrow.

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Romney’s erratic behavior has introduced a new word into the English lexicon: rereversal. The definition of rereversal is you can say anything you want, anytime you want and then contradict yourself and nobody in the mainstream media really gives a shit.

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Romney has reversed his statement about 47% of the people being government parasites. He now says he will be the president of 100% of the people – even if they’re whatcha call your takers.

A leaked memo to UPW News clarifies the Romney reversal.

He will work for 100% of the people but only 1% of the time. As for the other 99% of the time, he’ll devote that to the 1%.

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There are makers and there are takers. There are producers and there are parasites. Mary Maitlin.

The problem with Republican ideology as expressed by Maitlin is that everyone who is not a producer is a parasite.

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We have a bulletin from UPW News.

From Pasta Fagiola, Italy. October 13, 2012.

The Nobella Committee has announced the winners of its Most Valuable Putz award. The prize is shared by three Republicans who recently emerged from the cave.

Rep. Roger Rivard wins for his statement that “some girls rape easy.” He tried to explain what he meant to say. But no matter how you cut it, his remarks sound like “no” really means “yes.”

Also among the winners was Rep. Jon Hubbard of Arkansas for his claim that slavery was “a blessing in disguise” for African Americans. According to Aviva Shen of ThinkProgress, Hubbard stated that “If slavery were so God-awful , why didn’t Jesus or Paul condemn it, why was it in the Constitution and why wasn’t there a war before 1861.”

Hubbard is an example of another white GOP male using The Bible to justify a perverse belief. Now I can’t speak for Jesus or Paul, but I do know that for thousands of years before their brief appearance on this meager planet, numerous white males were routinely enslaved. As for wars, there was this guy named Spartacus who gave the Roman Empire fits in a war to free white men and women from enslavement. And while the US Constitution considered three-fifths of a slave for the purpose of representation in the House of Representatives, had the authors not done so, there might well have been a war before 1861.

In any case, Hubbard is a deserving winner of the Putzie.

And last but not least is the above mentioned Charlie Fuqua who supports a death sentence for bad kids.

So our hearty congratulations go out to these three winners who share the Nobella Committee’s Most Valuable Putz award.

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Winners of The Most Valuable Putz Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize. .

These exceptional individuals also receive a statuette named the Pubar which is engraved with the words “Putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie, the coveted statuette is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.

The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winners supplies just ran out.

From the UPW Newsroom reporting from Pasta Fagioli, Italy. Unreliable Press Worldwide: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news the world over.

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I wouldn’t be surprised if someday some enterprising scientist discovers a gene specific to the Republican DNA matrix that causes these unfortunate individuals to sputter stupid remarks.

There has to be a reason. I mean, nobody can be that stupid without an underlying cause. Can they?

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Related articles

October 8, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 10/08/12

When Scott Brown named Antonin Scalia as his most admired justice, the candidate ended any pretense to his claim of being a moderate Republican.

Antonin Scalia - Caricature

Antonin Scalia – Caricature (Photo credit: DonkeyHotey)

When Brown in debate praised Scalia

He was victimized by onomatopoeia

The audience sounded boos

Is hoping Brown will lose

And in November be saying “I’ll see ya.”

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Trickle down economics and austerity economics are both voodoo economics that create deep doo-doo economics – Robert Reich.

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Under the “You’ve Been Fucked Over” category.

American corporations receive a tax deduction to cover expenses incurred while moving their businesses to foreign countries.

Corporations receive a US tax credit for taxes paid to foreign governments. (The difference between a tax deduction and a tax credit, just in case you don’t already know, is that a deduction reduces taxable income and a credit is subtracted directly from taxes owed).

And if that isn’t enough (and it isn’t) the tax code is specifically rigged so that corporations can evade US taxation altogether on profits earned overseas by depositing earnings in havens such as the Cayman Islands.

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We have recently commemorated banned book week. Many books are banned by extremists for religious purposes or because the books present a picture of society inimical to its owners.

In keeping with the desire of extremists to control the minds of young people, I have prepared a list of nursery rhymes that mind control freaks may want to consider banning in order to complete the brainwashing of youthful minds. Included are some reasons the little ditties should be banished from the books of impressionable kids.

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Banned Nursery Rhymes

Jack and Jill – stealing water from corporate owners. Teaches defiance of Wall Street domination of water supplies.

Baa, Baa Black Sheep have you any wool – shows favoritism based on color. Attempts to justify affirmative action programs.

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star – tends to influence belief to a universe billions of years old; supports evolution, denies creationism. God created all stars 6,000 years ago. They are little shining dots in the sky. No need to wonder about them.

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary – encourages independent thinking; defies religious teaching; God grows everything.

Old Mother Hubbard – the original welfare queen. Implies the need for food stamps.

There Was An Old Woman who lived in a shoe – encourages promiscuity and reliance on government safety net, food stamps, rent and utility subsidies.

File:Frontispiece in English Fairy Tales.png

Cover of a book of English fairy tales.

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Police this week crudely removed and arrested protestors who were blocking construction of TransCanada’s XL Keystone Pipeline.

Most notably, actress Daryl Hannah was arrested during the protests along with a 78 year old woman. Hannah was released on $2,500 bond but faces criminal tresspass charges. No word as yet about the 78 year old woman.

Have no doubt whose side the police are on. Although they are part of the “small people”, they’re nevertheless ardent defenders of the 1%.

Also notably, cameras were not allowed at the scene as police confiscated the devices and chased off spectators attempting to take pictures.

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Don’t take pictures of a cop

Or the floor with your head floor he will mop

So put the camera away

And out of jail you will stay

Or the pokey will be your next stop.

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Mitt Romney was in the running for Republican Caboose of the Year. He was even running behind Paul Ryan.

He changed all that with an award winning performance during the debate.

Romney successfully pulled off the Richard Nixon shuffle during his trouncing of Obama. It was an axiom of Republican politics, Nixon used to say, to stay far to the right when seeking the GOP nomination. When running for president, the candidate had to do an about face and rush back to the center.

Mighty Mitt accomplished that feat Wednesday and you can look for more of the same backtracking as the campaign continues.

Romney has launched a rocket ship to the center.

File:NIXONSonbeach.jpg

Sadly for the nation, there was the dark side. Does Romney have a dark side? We may soon find out.

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Mitt Romney had a zinger

He gave Obama the middle finger

He flipped him a bird

But it’s not so absurd

To expect from a sorry right winger.

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Romney employs a set of mathematical rules known as Romneymath. It’s what he used to calculate his tax plan. The nice thing about Romneymath is that the numbers don’t have to add up.

File:Kids.png

Tax deductions, some of which are likely to be eliminated or curtailed under the Romney tax plan, having fun in a swimming pool. (Geo087).

I’ve just invented a system called Sardomath and informed all my lenders that I don’t owe them anything anymore.

Invent your own math system. Just remember the numbers don’t have to add up. It works.

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Obama’s statement that he and Romney essentially agree on Social Security issues was stupefying. It ranks alongside the statement by Walter Mondale during his 1984 acceptance speech that he intended to raise taxes.

Obama has been driven by some wild bug to cut SS. Romney/Ryan desperately want to privatize the program. But they won’t reveal their true intentions during an election campaign. It’s a sure fire loser.

That statement by Obama was the stupidest remark of the debate and probably of the entire campaign. And the president actually pays his political advisers for that kind of advice. Go figure.

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Update. It’s really nice that someone in the campaign clued the president in to the differences in Social Security reform between the candidates.

On the other hand, the statement provides an insight into what the president believes about Social Security reform.

He has been perversely driven to cut the program by one means or another. His Simpson-Bowles debacle sheds light on his intentions to make cuts and he will do so.

Moreover, the White House has been strong arming reluctant Democrats to get on board with Simpson-Bowles.

The political ineptitude here has been monumental. Romney can clobber Obama in the next debate if the president mentions SS.

On this issue, Obama dug his own hole.

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I’ve been searching for a picture of Obama but I keep coming up with empty chairs.  (JRLibby).

File:TWO CHAIRS.jpg

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We know Romney is good at tax evasion. He is also good at tax plan evasion. He denied he proposed the tax plan he proposed.

According to independent studies, Romney’s tax plan would increase the deficit by nearly $5 trillion. The candidate then said he would not approve a tax plan that increases the deficit. Only Romneymath could accomplish this feat.

Romney employs a set of mathematical rules known as Romneymath. It’s what he used to calculate his tax plan. The nice thing about Romneymath is that the numbers don’t have to add up.

It bears repeating:  Invent your own math system. Just remember the numbers don’t have to add up. And the more people you screw over, the better it works.

***

According to Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA) called evolution, embryology and the Big Bang Theory “lies straight from the pit of hell.” You just gotta read the article from the LA Times about what this troglodyte said. He words come straight from the cave of fundamentalist religion. His beliefs of course originate in the depths of unmitigated stupidity.

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Just when we thought we’d heard from the last clown

Up from the ashes rises Representative Paul Broun

He’s from Georgia you may know

Where in a garden they grow

Ignorance that’s gained worldwide renown.

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Now Georgia is a state

With universities so great

They’re known the world over

College kids walk in clover

So what’s with the creation debate

U.S. Rep. Paul Broun: Evolution a lie ‘from the pit of hell’ – latimes.com

Oh, by the way, the guys an MD.