Archive for November, 2012

November 24, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 11/24/12

In an interview in a noted magazine, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) stated that he doesn’t know how old the Earth is.  He said this despite an abundance of evidence that our planet formed some 4.5 billion year ago – give or take a couple million.


Marco knows it’s never to early to begin running for president. (Courtesy DonkeyHotey).

The statement lends credence to the rumor that Rubio is planning a presidential run in 2016 and his remark is viewed as one way to cater to Christian fundamentalists who believe God created this rapidly overheating sphere 6000 years ago.

Just goes to show ya, you can’t be a Republican without defying irrefutable scientific evidence.

In a similar vein, rumor has it that birther Donald Trump won’t believe the age of the Earth until he sees the birth certificate. Long form, if you please. Then we’ll know for sure.

(Courtesy DonkeyHotey).


Because there is no third term for presidents, Bill Maher believes Barack Obama should take a sharp turn to the left and lend support to the liberals without whom the prez could not have been elected in the first place.

And of course that there is no third term is true so his need for corporate payola diminished rapidly.

There is however, a “however” in the mix.

And that is none other than the pharaoh-mimicking monument otherwise known as the presidential library. Obama will need tens of millions of dollars to erect his.

That kind of scratch doesn’t come from “the small people.”

And ten bucks never got anyone a private pow-wow in the Oval Office.

So if he wants his “pyramid”, Obama will have to cater to the 1%.

I just can’t seem to catch a break anywhere.


Bulletin – Pasta Fagioli, Italy

Committee Announces Award.

Senior UPW Congressional Reporter Marcy Popindick has just learner that John McCain has been awarded The Schmuckup Prize by the Nobella Prize Committee.

In a UPW exclusive, Ms. Popindick reports that McCain won for his demand that a Senate subcommittee be formed to investigate the killing of four Americans in the consulate attack in Benghazi, Libya. The senator put his own name forward to chair the subcommittee. His colleagues however turned down the request.

President Barack Obama and Senator John McCain...

President Barack Obama and Senator John McCain in a press conference, taking place on March 4, 2009. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

President Obama and Sen. John McCain – a man who distinguished himself in service to his country in time of war – together during a less tendentious moment.

The rejection stopped the former military hero dead in his tracks after he initiated a series of attacks on UN Ambassador Susan Rice for statements she made regarding the assault on the Benghazi consulate.

Rice said her remarks were based on early intelligence reports that later proved to be inaccurate.

McCain however could not be mollified. He petulantly announced that he would oppose a Rice appointment if President Obama nominated her for Secretary of State, the office being vacated by current Secretary Hillary Clinton.

The senator also stated that he would oppose any nomination for Secretary of State until the administration revealed the truth behind the events in Behghazi.

His motives were unclear but appeared to be an attempt to restore a degree of credibility to a rapidly declining career.

In recognition of the senator’s irrational machinations, the Nobella Committe, noting that McCain is a previous recipient of its Most Valuable Putz award, proudly bestowed its Schmuckup Prize on the lamentable legislator.


To win The Schmuckup Prize you can’t just be an ordinary fuck up. There are thousands of those in Washington and not enough prizes to go around.

No, to win this award you have to be a fuck up of truly monumental proportions. John McCain has been nominated on several occasions but failed to capture the prize. This week, he finally broke through the barrier and achieved the status that earned him the esteemed honor.


Winners of The Schmuckup Prize receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize. In addition, winners are given the coveted statuette called The Little Schmucky engraved with the words “Schmucked up beyond all reason.” The Little Schmucky is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.

All prizes are awarded while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.

From the UPW Newsroom: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news the world over.


Don’t know much about this former Komen executive, a businesswoman contemplating a Senate run in Georgia.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

However, it does seem to me that business leaders are uniquely qualified to serve in Congress.

They’ve already learned to lie, cheat and steal. And get away with it.  So what other qualifications to you need to be a Congress critter?


Christie Needs Disaster to Aid in 2013 Reelection Bid.

One more disaster and he’s a shoe in for reelection. But it will have to be another really, really big one. A Christie size, at the very least.


“I celebrated Thanksgiving the old fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” Jon Stewart.


Nice hat ya got there, bubba. Like your cool costume too.

If I dress up like that, can I tell people how to vote?


An ode to drone warfare instigated by our glorious leaders.


Glorious leaders will send us drones

For Christmas and no one bemoans

Their unquestionably gross illegality

So far be it from an angry me

To question the laws our Congress dethrones.


Petraeus Afghanistanus and our glorious leaders keep putting their heads – among other things – where they don’t belong. Not even an election can pull them out.

So the drones keep coming and murdering innocent men, women and children.

I expect droney to start blowing up striking Walmart workers as soon as our glorious leaders declare them to be terrorists.

We all have our glorious leaders to thank for protecting us from underpaid American workers, I mean terrorists.

You really don’t have to be a terrorist anymore. The Wall Street definition of a “troublemaker” should soon be sufficient for launching a drone attack. Many of us may already be on a list.

I’d like to protect my house with an anti-missile system But the damn things cost too much and they don’t work. Besides my wife has bird feeders all over the place. 

November 18, 2012

Our American Heritage – Liza and Frank

File:Frank Sinatra, Jules Munshin and Gene Kelly in On The Town trailer.jpg

Frank Sinatra, Jules Munshin and Gene Kelly in On The Town, 1949.


File:Liza Minnelli Heart Truth4.jpg

Liza Minnelli doing what she does best.  (The Heart Of Truth Fasion Show – 2008).

November 18, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 11/18/12

Bulletin – Pasta Fagioli, Italy.

Committee Announces Prize Winner.

Unreliable Press Worldwide has learned today that the Nobella Prize Committee has named Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) as the winner of its coveted MVP award.

Members of the christening party for the guide...

Members of the christening party for the guided missile destroyer JOHN S. MCCAIN (DDG-56) pose for a photograph after the launching at the Bath Iron Works shipyard. They are from left to right: Sen. John McCain; Mrs. Roberta McCain; Sidney McCain; Meghan McCain, maid of honor; and Cindy McCain, sponsor and wife of Sen. McCain. Location: BATH, MAINE (ME) UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (USA) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sen. McCain won for his vigorous efforts to achieve personal gain by exploiting the tragic deaths of four American citizens during a terrorist organized assault on the U.S. Embassy in Benghazi, Libya.

A few short years ago the senator held all the cards as he achieved the pinochle of success when the Republican party nominated him as its candidate for president.

Recently however the poker faced legislator has drawn nothing but four flushes in his attempt to maintain the leadership reins of his party.

To burnish his tarnished reputation, McCain demanded that the Senate establish a select subcommittee to investigate the Benghazi affair. He recommended that he be appointed to head the committee.

In a misguided attempt to publicize his call for the subcommittee appointment, McCain referred to a press conference he held as a “scheduling error”, a mishap that caused the senator to miss a top secret briefing on the Benghazi issue.

When questioned about his lack of judgment for missing the meeting, McCain grew testy with a reporter and said he had no intention of discussing his schedule with the press.

Because of his persistence in exaggerating the importance of the events in Libya, McCain becomes the proud recipient of the Nobella Committee’s Most Valuable Putz Award.


Winners of The Most Valuable Putz Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize. 

These exceptional individuals also receive a statuette named the Pubar engraved with the words “putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie the statuette is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.

The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.


For John McCain the end is near

He’s causing trouble that is clear

He used to be a real mensch

Now he’s just creating stench

And will besmirch a fine career.


An anonymous source close to the Romney campaign disclosed that Mitt Romney voted for Barack Obama for president after Obama promised the GOP candidate that he would continue to give gifts to wealthy people.

“What’s his name again” trying to hold back the tears after the loss in last weeks’ election.  (Courtesy DonkeyHotey).

In a sealed document, Obama vowed that he would send legislation to Congress that would allow corporations to avoid paying even more taxes by setting up additional tax havens in foreign countries, declare a tax holiday to minimize the tax burden for corporations that want to bring bring profits into the U.S. and increase expense deductions for companies such as Bain Capital that offshore American jobs.

In a statement to the press, Romney said he lost the election because Obama promised to keep giving gifts to rich people if they would vote for him.

Or something like that.


Mitt Romney is peeved at his loss.

It’s understandable he should be cross.

He screwed up his campaign

And now seeks to blame

Obama for spreading the sauce.


Paul Ryan is playing the blame game.

His excuses run poor to utterly lame.

Because he got picked

Mitt Romney got licked.

Paul’s name was no match for inglorious fame.


Former Mississippi governor Harbor Bailey informed the GOP that it needs a proctology exam.

No argument there. The members of Barbour’s party have more shit up their asses than a BP blowout could ever dump into the Gulf of Mexico. Problem is the BP spill came to a stop while GOP shit never ends.

Following is the procedure recommended by the Sardo Institute’s Proctological Academy for members of the GOP:

Insert 4 x 4 post eight feet long. Rough hewn (more splinters that way). Twist vigorously for two hours.

I would have suggested a twelve footer. But, hey, I am a compassionate liberal ya know.


The doctor from the Sardo Institute’s Academy of Proctology who will perform the exam on the GOP. He’s a Democrat.  (Thanks to J.J.).


We need to build a bridge over the fiscal cliff. We need to work together – Republicans and Democrats – on a solution that provides some certainty to American families and businesses, while also bringing down our deficit and debt. Sen. Max Baucus (DINO – MT).

Translation: Extend tax cuts for the rich and cut Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid for the rest of us.

File:Max Baucus Elena Kagan.jpg

The ranking DINO from Montana with future Justice Elena Kagan.


You can never be sure if Slapsie Maxie is sober when he speaks.  One thing for sure, he’s a Blue Dog to the bone..  


Ranting Time

Samuel Alito, that right wing extremist who also happens to be a justice on the Supreme Court, defended the Citizens United 5-4 decision to allow unlimited political spending during campaign season.

He spoke before the right wing extremist organization known as the Federalist Society and his speech made the audience squeal with prepubescent glee.

Alito is dead wrong on the subject.

The question at hand here is does very expensive advertising amount to free speech. If speech is so costly that only the rich can afford it, the result is not an expression of a First Amendment right but an abuse of the right because only a tiny minority can avail themselves of it.

Alito mentioned that media corporations express their views openly. I’m guessing he meant newspapers that use editorials to present opinion However, most newspapers have op-ed pages where opposing views can be aired without charge.

TV stations were once required to present opposing views. The noxious decision to eliminate the equal time rule, however, ended that requirement and further restricted free speech only to those who can pay for it. That rule should be reversed to permit the open exchange of ideas through that medium.

If speech is to be truly “free”, there should be no charge to express it so all can benefit from that right.


Catholic Ideology Responsible For Woman’s Death.

Savita Halappanavar, a Hindu and native of India, died at the hands of Irish Doctors at University Hospital Galway when they refused to perform an abortion to save the woman’s life after complications developed during her pregnancy.

The doctors claimed that Mrs. Halappanavar’s life was not in danger and since the 4-month old fetus she carried still had a heartbeat, performing an abortion would have been illegal. The doctors, bound by law and Catholic ideology, allowed the woman to die. The fetus died as well.

It’s time for faithful Catholics to take a stand against the wrongheaded ideas of the leadership of their Church.

Populated largely by misogynistic old men, the Church’s hierarchy is wedded to a centuries old ideology that has outlived its usefulness for more than a hundred years.

Parading around on stage in medieval costumes and pretending to perform miracles amidst the clamor of ringing chimes during a portion of the Mass known as the Consecration, the prelates claim to transform bread and wine into the body and blood of a man who lived two thousand years ago. Such nonsense, perpetrated in defiance of the knowledge accumulated by science, defies belief in this modern world.

These men, it must be admitted, do more harm than good – child abuse and the willful cover up by bishops, is not the least among the pain they cause. Their willingness to allow healthy women to die during a difficult pregnancy represents cruelty beyond the pale.

It’s time to challenge these old misogynists. They perform no miracles. The Eucharist at which they claim a “transubstantiation” of bread and wine into divine flesh, is at best a symbolic re-creation of an event that supposedly took place two hundred centuries ago when a man named Jesus declared, at a dinner referred to as The Last Supper, “Do this in remembrance of me.”.

These men, who claim to perform miracles, have no special powers. Yet they show little remorse when commanding their congregations to obey religious laws they themselves have imposed on the faithful.

You may recall that a bishop, one David L. Ricken of the Green Bay diocese, brazenly warned his parishioners to vote in accordance with the moral dictates of the Catholic Church or risk having their immortal souls burn forever in the eternal fires of Hell.

If there is such a thing as a soul and a place called Hell, then a just God will surely set fire to the souls of prelates who commit the crimes of child abuse and their cover up and permit innocent women to die unnecessarily.


Yet More Violence in the Middle East.

Certainly the situation in the Middle East is tragic. Not as destructive, at least quantitatively, as the conquest of Iraq, but horrible by any measurement.

Extremists on both sides seem to be preventing any real solution.

However, if I were living in Israel I would place my faith in the tank, rather than a book, to protect me.

I have no doubt that if the Arab nations ever become militarily more powerful than Israel, that little nation will cease to exist.

And what becomes of all the people living there???

Sadly there seems to be no solution in sight – not for the foreseeable future at least.

Related articles

November 11, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 11/11/12


The winner and still President of the United States….


According to UPW Super-Senior Reporter Marcy Popindick the Neanderthal demographic voted 100% for Mitt Romney.

Neanderthals, who live in tribes located largely in regions known as Red States, have voted Republican since the days of Ronald Reagan. The former president is said to have appealed to the primitive people’s racist instincts.

Ms. Popindick interviewed the leader of one of the Southern tribes. Chief Ralph Cucamonga told the reporter that Neanderthals hate just about everybody who doesn’t agree with their political, religious and social views and the tribes stand ready to primary any members who seek leadership positions and whose views deviate from mandated ideology.


Chief Ralph Cucamonga after hearing the news that President Obama had been reelected.

The chief stated that Neanderthals are a deeply religious people who often mix religion with politics.,

He denied the accusation that religious indoctrination of their young begins at an early age and stated the practice is strictly prohibited.

However, in order to remain in good standing, tribal members are required to oppose abortion, voting rights and equality of females. Also, members must support prayer in public places which includes schools, courtrooms and toilets.

According to Ms. Popindick, the tribes are in a state of shock and disbelief at the loss of Mitt Romney and the reelection of the socialist Barack Obama.

The primitives also opposed the president’s reelection because his complexion is somewhat darker than the average Neanderthal’s and because Obama refuses to grow a beard and adopt a straggly coif.

Chief Cucamonga stated his people had no difficulty whatever casting their votes at the polls even though they had no photo ID, weren’t registered and didn’t shave or comb their hair.


Paul Ryan said today that his choice of a presidential candidate to run on the Republican ticket with him was a mistake.

His mathematical model of the election indicated that the GOP ticket would win. However, in checking his numbers, he discovered that he forgot to carry the one.


No compromise Ryan is blessed

With a press that thinks he’s the best.

In headlines they’re honkin’

The numbers he’s wonkin’.

Yet his math is hard to digest.


Well, their you have it folks, The election’s over and it only cost $4.2 billion. It’s an outrage and a disgrace. Candidates are saying they are disappointed. They expected far more payola given the amount of time they squandered selling out to rich people.


Gambling magnate Sheldon Adelson made a multi-million dollar bet on the election. His placed his money on the red. Shoulda put it on the black.


And I thought Barack Obama was an idiot.  (DonkeyHotey).

It was certainly a beautiful color on election night.


Some Republicans are blaming the election loss on faulty programming of electronic voting machines. The devices simply did not flip enough votes. Wait till next time though. No more fuck ups, they said.

And even though Republican governors were able to eliminate millions of fraudulent votes, they didn’t have enough time to deny even more people their precious right to cast a ballot.

So just because you’re a governor, you can’t be a fuck up???


The Republicans game is to cast blame

The excuses so old they are lame

It’s the other guy’s fault

Flip flop, somersault

It’s the fraudulent vote they exclaim.


Another Republican just got laid and got caught. Remember Dinesh D’Sousa? Talk about fucking up!

Former General and currently former CIA director David Petraeus got caught screwing around with the woman who helped him write his biography, according to an FBI investigation.

In a report filed by UPW reporter Marcy Popindick, the two participants were working on an updated version of the general’s life and were putting the finishing touches on the final chapter. I wonder if it will include the juicy parts.

File:David H. Petraeus.jpg

A star goes supernova.  General David Petraeus.

So yet another prominent Republican falls victim to the Sixth Commandment: Yea verily, thou shalt surely not commit adultery when the FBI is snooping around.

Lest we forget, however, Democrats too are vulnerable to the weaknesses of the flesh. Hello, Eliot Spitzer.


General Petraeus had an affair

With a woman it was so don’t despair

Gays are laughing like hell

Their old enemy just fell

Revenge is sweet and always so fair.


Mad Kane tells us that there is a national gin day. Only one? I’m shocked.

I can’t help wondering if this ethyl alcohol based liquor isn’t somehow involved in those shenanigans engaged in with such regularity by our esteemed rulers.


There’s a day that celebrates gin.

For all it’s a real win-win.

And I’m not talkin’ Eli’s cotton

That machine is long forgotten

It’s what you pour that let’s the fun begin.


Newly reelected President Barack Obama is said to be standing firm on his demand that the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy expire on January 1st.

Speaker of the House John Boehner announced that he would accept no tax increases thereby setting up a stand off with the president.

When Boehner called the White House to tell the president personally of his ultimatum, Obama could not be located.

Sasha, the president’s 11 year old daughter, finally found her father under the bed in the Lincoln Bedroom, shaking uncontrollably.

Daddy, you come out here right this minute,” she said. “If you don’t tell Boehner to go to hell, I will.”


They are not even eyeball to eyeball yet and Obama just blinked. He’s open to some form of compromise on the tax cuts for the wealthy.

Seniors beware the “grand bargain.”


You may think the Republican party is a relic of the past. But Obama can save it, as he did in 2010.


I’ve been called some pretty nasty things before, mostly by kids when I was a kid. But I’ve never been called a “maggot”, even by a kid. Oh well, takes one to know one.

Peter Morrison, Texas GOP Official, Calls For ‘Amicable Divorce’ From ‘Maggots’ Who Voted For Obama

Talk about your genetically defective Republican politician, that seems to be a requirement.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

November 4, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 11/04/12

Obama Reelection Hopes Suffer Devastating Blow.

The Obama campaign acknowledged today that it chances for reelection have been all but dashed since the announcement by Joe Isuzu that he has endorsed Mitt Romney for president.

David Leisure as Joe Isuzu in a 1988 Trooper commercial (Link below).

A spokesman for Romney said the endorsement was withheld until the week before the election and represents the campaign’s October Surprise.

Obama advisers are said to be hunkered down in hurriedly called meetings and are frantically seeking a method to counter the devastating news.

An Obama official said the campaign contacted the Pillsbury Dough Boy and begged the little biscuit to endorse the candidate. However, Boy said he was comfortable in retirement and shuns all publicity. An endorsement, he said, would bring him back into the spotlight.

File:Pillsbury doughboy.jpg

Giora Eshkol Link back to Creator infobox template

The above article is not intended to be a factual report.


(Read the details at Daily Kos.
10/31/1153410/-JOE-ISUZU-does-Romney-Ads )


Mitt Romney’s tax plan is being considered as the basis for a new reality TV show. The name will be Dialing For Deductions.

The producers suffered a setback, however, when they learned that the deductions won on the show would have to be submitted to the IRS for approval.


Mayor Michael Bloomberg refused FEMA assistance for his storm battered city.

A spokesman for Hizzoner said New York “don’t need no big gobmint help for a little thang like a storm.”


Mayor Michael Bloomberg speaking at another NYC storm event. The mayor had recently reduced the number of workers in the Sanitation Department, one of whose tasks is snow removal. Hizzoner is under the pile of snow. (Photo courtesy of Emmanuel Boutet)

In other NYC news, Bloomers endorsed President Obama for reelection this week. He gave as his reason the president’s stance on global warming.

It never seemed to matter to Bloomberg. As far as he was concerned, global warming occurred only in the winter when climate change wreaked havoc by dumping huge amounts of snow on the city. And perhaps not even the occurrence of an unusual number of blizzards convinced the mayor. After all, he did reduce the Sanitation Department budget. They’re the people who clean up after.

Bloomers now realizes that global warming can also strike the city in autumn, when the leaves drift by his window – by the bushel.


Unfortunately, and even after a storm so vast and destructive as Sandy, there remain among us people who still deny the unassailable fact that climate change is here and ready to wreak more and greater havoc from which no one can escape.


Since by storm his city got trounced

For Obama Hizzoner announced

He eschewed the fake

And that takes the cake

For Mitt Romney finally got bounced.


Katrina’s asshole is back in the news. No, not George W. Bush. The former president remains in solitary confinement during the election season.

The asshole I’m referring to is Michael “heckuva job” Brown.

Brownie said – get this – FEMA responded too quickly to the hurricane named Sandy. The storm caused widespread destruction along he East Coast and full recovery may take weeks. But you gotta give credit to Brownie. He’s got balls. Sadly for him, the area they’re in is the approximate location of his brain.

There is simply no such thing as responding too quickly to the devastation that a storm can cause. But then “Heckuva job” is a small gubmint Republican so what would you expect.

Jarvis DeBerry at NOLA. Com, the Times-Picayune of New Orleans summed it up succinctly with this beautiful comparison. Would you ask right winger Heath Shuler who, as a quarterback for the Saints, passed for 3,700 yards and 15 touchdowns, to critique the performance of Drew Brees with 43,000 and 301?

If you’re a genetically defective Republican, that’s exactly what you do.

Well, we do have this thing here we call free speech. So Brownie can mouth off any time he wants to. But he’s still an asshole.


Speaking of genetically defective Republicans, is there any other kind.


John Koster, GOP candidate for the House in Washington, spoke of what he called “the rape thing.”

He referred to incest and a resulting pregnancy and said it’s so rare that it is inconsequential. To him maybe, but certainly not to the women who are victims.

Here’s his statement:

Incest is so rare, I mean, it’s so rare. But the rape thing, you know, I know a woman who was raped and kept the child, gave it up for adoption, and she doesn’t regret it.”

Brave woman. But others who choose a different path should not be prevented from doing so.

Susan DelBene, his Democratic opponent in the election, accused Koster of trivializing rape.

But he’s a Republican!!!!!


(Huffington Post – ).


Disaster relief is immoral. It makes no sense at all. FEMA should be privatized. Mitt Romney.

According to a spokesman, the candidate was just kidding when he said that.


GOP message to nation: You’re on your on, pal.


Profit making universities have donated oodles of boodle to the Romney campaign. Could be a good investment if Romney pulls this thing out. And you can stash the profit in the Caymans. Where else?


Bulletin: George W. Bush Released From Confinement. Romney Offshores Former President.

George W. Bush has been released from GOP induced election cycle confinement. Bird watchers reported seeing the president nesting with a group of wealthy people after secretly flying into the Cayman Islands.

The watchers observed the group entering a tony island resort where a gang of half naked children begged for lollipops.

One of the rich persons gave the kids the finger while another said “Get your own lollipops. What do I look like, a candy store?”

Police were summoned to the scene and removed the little urchins in paddy wagons. The youngsters were later charged with felony annoying rich people.

Meanwhile, back at the tony island resort, the former president is believed to have cashed in on a quarter million dollar speaking fee.

The event was blacked out.

(Read the real report at Daily Kos. ).

Maddow: Romney Campaign Hiding George Bush Offshore in Caymans. ).