The DC Folly Trolley – 11/04/12

Obama Reelection Hopes Suffer Devastating Blow.

The Obama campaign acknowledged today that it chances for reelection have been all but dashed since the announcement by Joe Isuzu that he has endorsed Mitt Romney for president.

David Leisure as Joe Isuzu in a 1988 Trooper commercial (Link below).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6OpDGpekkg

A spokesman for Romney said the endorsement was withheld until the week before the election and represents the campaign’s October Surprise.

Obama advisers are said to be hunkered down in hurriedly called meetings and are frantically seeking a method to counter the devastating news.

An Obama official said the campaign contacted the Pillsbury Dough Boy and begged the little biscuit to endorse the candidate. However, Boy said he was comfortable in retirement and shuns all publicity. An endorsement, he said, would bring him back into the spotlight.

File:Pillsbury doughboy.jpg

Giora Eshkol Link back to Creator infobox template

The above article is not intended to be a factual report.

.

(Read the details at Daily Kos. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/
10/31/1153410/-JOE-ISUZU-does-Romney-Ads )

***

Mitt Romney’s tax plan is being considered as the basis for a new reality TV show. The name will be Dialing For Deductions.

The producers suffered a setback, however, when they learned that the deductions won on the show would have to be submitted to the IRS for approval.

***

Mayor Michael Bloomberg refused FEMA assistance for his storm battered city.

A spokesman for Hizzoner said New York “don’t need no big gobmint help for a little thang like a storm.”

File:Field-with-snow-champ-enneige.jpg

Mayor Michael Bloomberg speaking at another NYC storm event. The mayor had recently reduced the number of workers in the Sanitation Department, one of whose tasks is snow removal. Hizzoner is under the pile of snow. (Photo courtesy of Emmanuel Boutet)

In other NYC news, Bloomers endorsed President Obama for reelection this week. He gave as his reason the president’s stance on global warming.

It never seemed to matter to Bloomberg. As far as he was concerned, global warming occurred only in the winter when climate change wreaked havoc by dumping huge amounts of snow on the city. And perhaps not even the occurrence of an unusual number of blizzards convinced the mayor. After all, he did reduce the Sanitation Department budget. They’re the people who clean up after.

Bloomers now realizes that global warming can also strike the city in autumn, when the leaves drift by his window – by the bushel.

.

Unfortunately, and even after a storm so vast and destructive as Sandy, there remain among us people who still deny the unassailable fact that climate change is here and ready to wreak more and greater havoc from which no one can escape.

.

Since by storm his city got trounced

For Obama Hizzoner announced

He eschewed the fake

And that takes the cake

For Mitt Romney finally got bounced.

***

Katrina’s asshole is back in the news. No, not George W. Bush. The former president remains in solitary confinement during the election season.

The asshole I’m referring to is Michael “heckuva job” Brown.

Brownie said – get this – FEMA responded too quickly to the hurricane named Sandy. The storm caused widespread destruction along he East Coast and full recovery may take weeks. But you gotta give credit to Brownie. He’s got balls. Sadly for him, the area they’re in is the approximate location of his brain.

There is simply no such thing as responding too quickly to the devastation that a storm can cause. But then “Heckuva job” is a small gubmint Republican so what would you expect.

Jarvis DeBerry at NOLA. Com, the Times-Picayune of New Orleans summed it up succinctly with this beautiful comparison. Would you ask right winger Heath Shuler who, as a quarterback for the Saints, passed for 3,700 yards and 15 touchdowns, to critique the performance of Drew Brees with 43,000 and 301?

If you’re a genetically defective Republican, that’s exactly what you do.

Well, we do have this thing here we call free speech. So Brownie can mouth off any time he wants to. But he’s still an asshole.

***

Speaking of genetically defective Republicans, is there any other kind.

***

John Koster, GOP candidate for the House in Washington, spoke of what he called “the rape thing.”

He referred to incest and a resulting pregnancy and said it’s so rare that it is inconsequential. To him maybe, but certainly not to the women who are victims.

Here’s his statement:

Incest is so rare, I mean, it’s so rare. But the rape thing, you know, I know a woman who was raped and kept the child, gave it up for adoption, and she doesn’t regret it.”

Brave woman. But others who choose a different path should not be prevented from doing so.

Susan DelBene, his Democratic opponent in the election, accused Koster of trivializing rape.

But he’s a Republican!!!!!

.

(Huffington Post – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/31/john-koster-the-rape-thing_n_2051752.html ).

***

Disaster relief is immoral. It makes no sense at all. FEMA should be privatized. Mitt Romney.

According to a spokesman, the candidate was just kidding when he said that.

File:Katrina-port-sulphur-la-2005.jpg

GOP message to nation: You’re on your on, pal.

***

Profit making universities have donated oodles of boodle to the Romney campaign. Could be a good investment if Romney pulls this thing out. And you can stash the profit in the Caymans. Where else?

***

Bulletin: George W. Bush Released From Confinement. Romney Offshores Former President.

George W. Bush has been released from GOP induced election cycle confinement. Bird watchers reported seeing the president nesting with a group of wealthy people after secretly flying into the Cayman Islands.

The watchers observed the group entering a tony island resort where a gang of half naked children begged for lollipops.

One of the rich persons gave the kids the finger while another said “Get your own lollipops. What do I look like, a candy store?”

Police were summoned to the scene and removed the little urchins in paddy wagons. The youngsters were later charged with felony annoying rich people.

Meanwhile, back at the tony island resort, the former president is believed to have cashed in on a quarter million dollar speaking fee.

The event was blacked out.

(Read the real report at Daily Kos. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/11/01/1153736/-George-W-Bush-in-Caymans-today-to-visit-with-Mitt-s-money ).

Maddow: Romney Campaign Hiding George Bush Offshore in Caymans. http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/11/02/maddow-romney-campaign-hiding-george-w-bush-offshore-in-the-caymans/ ).

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