The DC Folly Trolley – 12/22/12

White House Desperate to Save GOP

Fearful that he might otherwise be forced to accept a liberal agenda, President Obama is said to be searching for ways to keep John Boehner’s chestnuts from roasting on an open fire.

It seems to me I’ve heard that song before.

English: U.S. President Barack Obama meets wit...

English: U.S. President Barack Obama meets with Speaker of the House John Boehner during the debt ceiling increase negotiations. The official White House caption says “President Barack Obama meets with Speaker of the House John Boehner on the patio near the Oval Office, Sunday, July 3, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s like old times.

.

Here’s the skinny and if you haven’t heard about it you need to tear up your Mayan calendar, come up out of the shelter and read the newspapers – if you can still find one.

Boehner proposed what he called “Plan B”, a scheme which would raise taxes only on incomes over $1,000,000, and then sent it to the House for a vote. He soon realized nobody gives a shit what he thinks anymore and was unable to corral enough Republican votes to pass the plan. So he tucked tail, withdrew the bill and slinked away.

Meanwhile, back at the White House, the president is said to be fearful that Democrats might win the House in the 2014 elections if he can’t find a way to rescue Boehner from the black hole of GOP political shenanigans.

Should the GOP go down to utter defeat, the president reasons, he might be compelled to accept the evil liberal agenda and, in so doing, abide by the will of the people, dreadful thought though that is in Follyland these days.

By contrast, Plan B will make anything Obama offers look good, regardless of how outrageous it might be.

Look for Obama to draw yet another line in the water at $500,000 for tax cuts. He will also chain Social Security to a new CPI, a move that will cut already inadequate benefits to an even more drastic level.  Will he or won’t he buy into the health care cost shifting scheme of raising the Medicare qualifying age to 67? When Obama is negotiating, nothing is final.  

..

In a similar vein, some time ago Nancy Pelosi abandoned her liberal economic leanings and announced she could support a deficit reduction plan along the lines of Obama’s Bowles/Simpson Cat Food Commission proposal. You remember, the failed plan killed overwhelmingly by the Committee members and that Obama keeps resurrecting.

President Barack Obama and Speaker of the Hous...

President Barack Obama and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi at the US Capitol. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The happy couple in happier times.

Along with massive tax cuts, that Commission advocated cuts to Social Security by binding the program to the inflation index called the chained CPI. Pelosi embraced the plan along with the SS reductions it included.

Both she and Obama strongly advocated for the cuts referring to them as a means to strengthen the nation’s retirement benefit plan.

Well, bless my soul, another DINO rises from the ashes of Obama’s 2010 election conflagration.

Pelosi did a political voltafaccia* and will now agree to whatever it is Obama sacrifices in negotiations with Republicans – Medicare, Social Security, tax cuts for the rich. Whatever! It doesn’t matter. Pelosi’s on board calling all of Obama’s safety net cuts “strengthening the program.”

VOLTAFACCIA

(Courtesy La Gazzetta di Viareggio by La Gazzetta di Viareggio is licensed under aCreative Commons Attribuzione – Non commerciale – Condividi allo stesso modo 3.0 Italia License)..

Reports have it that Pelosi’s turnabout was the result of strong-arm tactics by the White House which threatened to remove her from the leadership position she now occupies if she didn’t play ball. So she’s learned to throw the curve, the screwball and the cutter.

UPW correspondents also learned from an anonymous source that the minority leader was invited for a weekend of waterboarding at Gitmo before she finally recanted her liberal views toward the safety net.

According to the report, when Pelosi was questioned about the incident, she responded, “So I got a little thirsty.”

.

In any case, regarding “strengthening,” I’ve come up with a few ideas.

How about we strengthen Pelosi out of her leadership role and reform her to her original House role as a regular representative.

And if Barack Obama doesn’t come around and advocate for the issues he was elected to support, then liberals should reject his proposals, vote them down in the Senate and House and strengthen his position to a lame duck status even before his second term inauguration takes place.

Reform in this manner could well serve we, the majority of the people.

*(Translation: Volte-facia).

…..

Here’s some good news: Obama backed off his original negotiating demands.

The bad news: He isn’t finished negotiating.

God only knows where the Medicare qualifying age will land. And I have an unsettled feeling the Almighty is on Boehner’s side.

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The chained CPI, which Obama agreed to and now doesn’t, wouldn’t be a bad idea if the president could only convince seniors to eat dried generic cat food with a little powdered milk.

Makes sense.  When you can’t afford to buy filet mignon the next logical purchase is feline cuisine.

That of course would be the first step. The next president could reduce the COLA even further.

Seniors could then pick through the dumpsters behind fast food restaurants. That doesn’t cost anything. We would then have a Z- CPI, that is, a zero inflation index.

Of course, seniors would have to be means tested to be allowed to pick through dumpsters. They would also need a photo ID called the Obamacard.

..

In keeping with the need to reduce the cost of health care, the Sardo Institute of Medical Supplies is offering a do-it-yourself open heart surgery kit.

For the low, low price of $19.95 you can have at your finger tips your very own open heart surgery packet complete with instructions. The kit includes everything you need to perform a medically approved operation.

And if you act right now we’ll include a second kit absolutely free, just pay shipping and handling.

And be sure to ask about our hip and knee replacement kits to increase your health care savings even more.

Just send $19.95 plus $5.95 shipping and handling to:

The Sardo Institute
PO Box 555 5555
Pasta Fagioli, Italy

Cash only please.

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Speaking of the Mayan calendar, I checked the Internet all day on Dec. 21 and couldn’t find a single report proclaiming the world had ended. If anyone has any evidence that proves the world ended on that long anticipated day, please respond via the comments section.

I’ve been waiting for years for the mother of all fireworks displays and nothing has happened. Not yet anyway. What a bummer!

December 21. 2012.

The world would end at dawn today
I thought not to join the fray
So safely behind I gladly stayed
No never mind to the fuss I paid
Hoping to watch the fireworks display.
.
Alas it was never meant to be
The world now celebrates with glee
But never defy a Mayan seer
You’ll end up crouching in great fear
Begging forgiveness with a forlorn plea.
.
With a seer you never trifle
He’ll send your way an awful eyeful.
To display of his ancient might
He’ll mark you in his dreadful sight.
As demons and monsters your life ‘ll stifle.

..

Santa Saves The Day.

Sends Rudolph To Ward Off Mayan Demons.

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer became a hero for the second time in his centuries old life. You’ll recall that some decades ago Rudolph with his nose so bright guided Santa’s sleigh through the fog one Christmas eve.

The Mayan demons apparently mistook Rudolph for a human being.

That’s a human,” one demon was overheard saying. “Holy shit, we’ve got the wrong planet.” And off they went on a new mission.

Look for Jupiter to explode on December 25th, 2013 the day the demons are expected to arrive at that planet.

.

OK, OK, I know it’s bullshit. But it’s Saturday night and I got good at bullshiting back when I was still dating. Worked then. Doesn’t anymore.

..

Speaking of Santa Claus, we know he knows whose naughty or nice. But here’s a secret. Don’t breathe a word to anyone.  Did you know that Santa himself prefers naughty.

SEXY GIRL 1

Naughty Santa!

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One Comment to “The DC Folly Trolley – 12/22/12”

  1. LOL! Wonderful post, as always! And your headline “White House Desperate to Save GOP” pretty much says it all.

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