The DC Folly Trolley – 02/02/13

They Still Don’t Know What Hit Them.

A couple of good ole boys who got caught by their wives after being out drinking all night???  

john paul

No!!! Two know-nothing GOP senators after tangling with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton at the contrived Benghazi hearings.

Doesn’t matter who they are.  Nobody cares.

…….

Lopsided Victory.

Some ladies you just can’t push around, guys. But then you’re Republicans. You wouldn’t know that.

HILLARY

The winner by a knockout, Hillary Rodham Clinton.

 

Next time wear your helmets and body armor, fellas.

…….

 

Ryan Reveals Alien Ancestry.

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) revealed that many centuries ago an ancient ancestor immigrated to Earth from the planet Vulcan and engaged in illicit sexual relations with a female member of the cave dwelling Ryan clan.

The female claimed she was seduced by the Vulcan when he placed her in drug induced hypnotic states.  

The affair, which lasted over a period of several months, resulted in pregnancy before the woman’s mate discovered the liaisons.

The woman insisted that the Vulcan returned repeatedly to a secret place in the forest where she often went to pick berries.  While there, the undocumented immigrant beguiled her and gave her the mind altering potion.

The mate became incensed, followed his spouse to the hiding place where the alleged affairs occurred and severely wounded the Vulcan by firing an arrow into his back while he was on top of the female engaging in yet another illicit act.

The Vulcan denied the affair; after all, it was his word against a jealous mate’s.  However, he eventually confessed after being subjected to a technique called waterboarding which the clan leaders referred to as not torture.  After being repeatedly not tortured, the Vulcan succumbed.

The exchange of genetic material that occurred as a result of the illicit union between the Vulcan and the clan member became embedded in the genes of the offspring and remains in the DNA of the clan.  Its effects surface only once in several generations during the modern era.

The gene that passes to the unlucky Ryan member reveals itself during the aging process.

It is becoming apparent that Paul Ryan, as he grows older, is the unfortunate recipient of the mixed gene pool in the current generation.

Providence, however, smiled on Ryan.  The ancient clan from which he evolved had declared abortion illegal and its chieftains refused repeated requests by the Vulcan-impregnated female to undergo the procedure.

The clan also rejected medical coverage for its members  requiring them to provide for their own health care through a voucher system. As a result of this callous attitude, the mother died during delivery for lack of adequate medical care. The baby however survived and passed his traits onto future generations.

It is from this background that Ryan inherited his primitive social belief system.  

RYAN VULCAN

..

On Meet the Press last week, Paul Ryan issued what he expected to be a threat by saying the sequestration, the silly agreement agreed to after the Senate disagreed about some other agreement (you figure it out) will really, really happen.  Now everybody in Follyland is scared.

It turns out nobody paid much attention to Ryan (not since he struggled with fourth grade arithmetic to develop his phony budget and instantly became a DC math genius) nobody, that is, except whatcha call your mainstream corporate media.  They fawned all over this arithmetic challenged budget faker.

Ryan’s budget, you see, doesn’t balance until 2060.

2060!!!  Are you shittin’ me?

Nope.  2060.  According to s spokesman, during a critical addition operation Ryan forgot to carry the one.  So instead of balancing in 2020, turns out it won’t for 40 more years.

.

Ryan has been called seriously serious by whatcha call your mainstream corporate media because of his willingness to pilfer funds from the elderly by raiding Social Security using a variety of sneaky methods such as profitization of the program and raising the retirement age to somewhere between 70 and 100 or thereabouts.

He has also been referred to as courageously courageous for his willingness to cheat seniors out of their health care – again through a profitization scam using vouchers; and then fearlessly fearless for stealing candy from little kids. I made that last part up; but with Ryan who can tell?

Anyways, his threat still stands and it means that the House won’t agree to any more agreements unless they’re disagreeable to the majority of Americans and agreeable to the 1% who send payola Ryan’s way.

Anyways, if the threat prevails, the War Department will suffer cuts as will a number of domestic programs including Medicare cuts to providers (who used to be called doctors) who provide medical care to providees (used to be called patients). The providees, however, will not be required to pay any more to their providers. They won’t pay any less either.

Social Security has been desequestered, that is, not included in the cuts scheduled to take place after the sequester becomes effective. However, cuts could be made to the program after the sequester sequesters.

Is that clear?  

…….

Mitch McConnell, Republican propagandist extraordinaire second only to Fox News, warned gun owners that Democratic critters are a fixin’ to confiscate yo’ guns. Yessarie bob, they’re a fixin’ to break down the door to yo’ house, tie up yo’ wife and little chilins, konk you over yo’ head and confiscate yo’ guns. Yesserie, bob.

 MM HAPPY FACE

McConnell putting on a happy face – for him.

They’re surroundin’ us, Mitch declared, so ya’all better git yo’ wagons in a circle. They’re a comin’ for yo’ guns. Ya’ all know what a circle is now don’t cha. Ya’ all learnt that in higher ejacashun in third grade.

Read the real article at:

McConnell warns gun owners: Obama and Democrats have you ‘literally surrounded’ | The Raw Story

…….

Money is the root of all evil. How many times have the heard that saying.? It is, like so many other adages, an incomplete quote. The actual phrase reads the LOVE of money is the root of all evil, a subtle difference that drastically changes the meaning of the author’s intent. The reference is to the sin of greed, an evil which leads men astray. Nothing wrong with money per se or spending a little of it to have some fun.

Saul Tarsus, the man who invented Christianity, wrote the statement in a letter to somebody named Timothy in what is now referred to as the epistle, 1 Timothy to be exact.

In the missive, Tarsus (aka St. Paul) is warning his disciple against false teachers who warp messages for personal gain.

Sound familiar. Today, the Second Amendment is perverted to drastically distort its meaning solely for gun sellers to rake in huge amounts of ill-gotten money.

“A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”

The last part of the sentence is the one we’re most familiar with and it’s the phrase that’s routinely propagandized by gun sellers.

Historians now tell us that one reason for including the Second Amendment in the Bill of Rights was the insistence of the South.  The fear of slave rebellions among Southern plantation owners was at the core of the amendment’s adoption. Seems the slave holders demanded the right to raise a posse to quell possible insurrections or to hunt down and lynch escaped slaves.

St Paul, the man who created a new religion out of an old one, was a prescient observer of the weaknesses of men.  His message rings through the ages and applies more than ever to the abhorrent behavior of modern men.

…….

And that brings us to Larry Summers, an advocate, if not one of the architects of, the current recession and the collapse of the economy in 2007.

Summers, a Robert Rubin acolyte, was and remains the champion of financial deregulation. He praised Gramm-Leach-Bliley – notoriously named the Financial Modernization Act – the legislation that repealed Glass-Steagall and led to the “too big to fail” creation of monster banks and advanced the greed that pervades Wall Street wheeling and dealing.

As Treasury secretary, he advised former President Bill Clinton to sign off on the Commodity Futures Modernization Act that is directly responsible for derivatives trading fraud and the wholesale foreclosure crisis.

Note the word “modernization” in the names of the two acts.  In 1984 style, the word lends a degree of respectability to the legislation it never deserved.

SUMMERS

Summers it appears is never more than a few months away from popping up in the news and so it was once again last week. At Davos, Switzerland, where the world’s noblemen gather from time to time to decide the fate of commoners, Summers distorted or is ignorant of the facts of yesteryear, a revelation that surfaced in a speech to the gathering of financial royalty in which he claimed that wages increased along with productivity during the Clinton years.

Oh, my. Larry’s wrong again. The graph in a column by Dean Baker clearly shows the disparity between the two, a trend which began during Reagan’s reign and continues today.

Government statistics revealed the separating of the ways between productivity and wages for years. Was Larry inferring that the government didn’t know information published by the government during his term of service in, well, the government?  

Facts still have a nasty way of interfering with one’s opinions, even Larry’s.

Read the real article by Dean Baker at FDL.

Larry Summers Says the Clinton Administration Didn’t Have Access to Government Economic Data | MyFDL

.

Summers seems to have a penchant for saying and doing the wrong thing. The man’s an economics genius, and a rich one at that. But talk about your foot in mouth syndrome, this guy has the uncanny ability to fit both in.

As president of Harvard, for example, he bemoaned the lack of women pursuing careers in science and engineering in a poorly worded statement that was largely misinterpreted as a slight to the intelligence of women.

Well, that’s Larry for ya. Getting entangled in his own dumb words and then getting fired for speaking them.

No need to feel sorry for this genius, however. His buds on Wall Street did that, to the tune of millions. Yes, indeed, Larry is a multimillionaire.

Kinda makes me wallow in self-pity though. I’ve said lots of stupid things in my life and never got a dime for it.

Like the time I said women don’t get rich on Wall Street because they can’t cheat and steal as well as men. Sorry, ladies. No offense intended, but I’m sure you could do just as well as the men if you’d just put your mind to it.

Could it be that most ladies just don’t want to cheat and steal?

Well, that’s hard to understand, particularly since cheating and stealing are the American way. How else ya gonna get rich in this country?

…….

You remember John McCain, right? He’s still one of two senators from the state of Arizona.

You may also recall that McCain, still one of two senators from the state of Arizona, was the knight of the realm during the reign of George W. Bush.

He voted for the war in Iraq and that was just one among many of his dumb votes. There are so many it’s hard to tell which is his dumbest, but the vote for the war is right up there at the top of a very long and still growing list.

He also voted in favor of what was trumped up as the “surge”, the operation in which Bush sent 20,000 additional troops to that worn torn country.

The effectiveness of the surge was woefully distorted by whatcha call your mainstream corporate media and mythologized as the operation that turned the war around.

It did no such thing, of course.

The war was indeed on a more favorable path. But it was turning long before the additional forces invaded the country.

Some factors responsible for the turnabout were

  • The arming of Sunnis with U.S. munitions to enlist these tribes in the fight against Shite and al Qaeda insurgents in a movement known as the Awakening.
  • The deracination of entire neighborhoods by uprooting Shites and Sunnis from their homes and relocating them to separate areas behind concrete barriers.
  • A greater degree of cooperation from the Shite cleric Muqtada al Sadr who withdrew his forces from the insurgency at the request of the Iranian government.

These processes were in place and achieving a reduction in violence before the “surge” had any impact on the war.

So here comes John McCain. You remember him. He’s still one of the senators from Arizona.

The guy was ragging incessantly on Defense nominee Chuck Hagel about a statement the former senator made years ago regarding the dangerous surge policy of the Bush administration. Hagel might have been more judicious in his use of words and substituted “fruitless” for “dangerous.”

MCCAIN

Mrs. McCain can Johnny come out and play today.

No. Johnny’s been fighting and he’s being punished.

Nevertheless, Hagel was correct in his assessment at the time and McCain, still a senator from Arizona, was flat, dead wrong.

Read the real article at Truthout.

The Iraq War “Surge” Myth Returns

…….

Warning: The following material is really dirty. So I hope you enjoy reading it.

A fellow stepped into the hall
Effects of Cialis clear to all
He began to sway
And soon lost his way
Left his mistress waiting to ball.
.
A woman stepped into the hall
With spiked heels and suffered a fall
Completely undressed
And highly distressed
Needing ice for her double highball.
.
A woman stepped into the hall
Tripped over a guy legs asprawl
To her pleasant distraction
He was ready action
Her yearnings she could not forestall.
 
Also posted to MadKane’s Limerick blog.
http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/category/limerick-offs/
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5 Comments to “The DC Folly Trolley – 02/02/13”

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