The DC Folly Trolley – 03/24/13

Congressional Staffers Starving.

Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz says the sequester cuts are bringing staffers to the brink of starvation.

DEBBIE

Is my new hairstyle too much?

 Staffers only earn between $60,000 and $160,000 a year and can’t afford to eat a good meal at restaurants located in the House of Representative.

Ain’t that a shame.

Apparently, Wasserman Schultz has never heard of dry generic cat food. Ya, know, the stuff President Obama thinks elderly American citizens can eat in place of the more expensive canned cat food as a means of reducing inflation.

Mixed with a little water once or twice a day and soon the dry stuff will become quite tasty; add a dash of oregano for an zesty Italian feast.

Well fed staffers can then arrive at work all bright eyed and bushy tailed ready for another day at the office sucking up to payola packing lobbyists.

For Sunday dinner a can of Fancy Feast Tuna and Mackerel would be a real treat. Perhaps a loyal staffer could invite the congresswoman to share a morsel or two.

Wasserman Schultz, if you don’t already know, was assigned to the chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee by Obama because of her talent at raising campaign cash.

And like the good little Obama girl that she is, she voted against the Progressive Congressional Caucus “Back to Work” budget – the only realistic budget presented by history’s longest running do-nothing Congress, and she did so while the real unemployment rate hovers around 23% according to statistician John Williams.

In addition to other right wing House Democrats such as pom-pom girl Nancy Pelosi, Wasserman Schultz has indicated she is prepared to “consider” (read vote for) cuts to Social Security pushed by Obama through the Chained CPI inflation index.

As for Congressional staffers, well, maybe they could share the cost of a quart of milk and add some extra nutrition once a week to their dry cat food.

***

Clinton Still On High Horse.

No, not that Clinton, the other one, you know the one who forgets to pull his zipper up. And one of the worst Democratic presidents in history (NAFTA and deregulation for Dems with short memories).

He doesn’t want Ashley Judd, a brilliant woman and promising candidate, to run against Mitch McConnell in 2014 for Kentucky’s Senate seat.

ASHLEY JUDD

Clinton and the rest of Kentucky’s good ole boys prefer to pair Allison Grimes against McConnell in the race.

Why ditch a possible winner and put in her place a sure loser?

Grimes, you see, is a party regular, already being measured up for her cheerleading outfit. And as for Judd, she represents a threat to party regulars. She could be a real Democrat who might not play ball with the pseudo variety – sorta like Clinton himself.

The fear about Judd is that she won’t join the girls’ pom-pom wing of the Democratic party and become an Obama cheerleader ala Wasserman Schultz and Pelosi.

So to show corporations how much they appreciate their payola, the right wing Democrats are more than willing to run a loser against McConnell.

Besides, Mitch carries a lot of water for triangulating Dems who oppose a real Democratic agenda – sorta like Clinton.

***

Krugman Accuses Republican Of Using Non-Facts.

I just think it’s so unfair for Paul Krugman, a Nobel laureate, to pick on a simple minded Republican like Rob Portman just because Portman didn’t use facts in a TV discussion.

It’s not like any Republican ever uses facts in any discussion anywhere at anytime. They’re trained not to. The senator from Wisconsin did exactly what he was supposed to do. Avoid the facts at all cost. So quit picking on him.

PORTMAN

Rob Portman, Senator from Wisconsin, a typical Republican, one eye on corporate payola, the other closed.

***

Hillary For President.

Why not! The bandwagon’s already rolling and loaded with supporters. And, since there’s little chance we’ll ever get a real Democrat elected after the Clintonistas hijacked the party, why not.

Hillary,s sure to chase corporate cash just the way hubby did. She’ll even get a healthy helping from Rupert Murdoch, just as she did during her Senate campaigns.

However, on the issues that count, the money issues, she’ll occupy a spot on the spectrum far to the right of traditional Democratic presidents; and even some Republicans (Eisenhower, for example).

She’ll lie to keep the base in the fold the way Obama did and succeed – the way Obama. And then thumb her nose at those who voted for her – the way Obama did.

Just goes to show ya, you can fool all of the people all of the time, if they’re Democrats.

***

Credit Wild Willy Never Earned.

While we’re on the subject of Clintons, let’s consider Bill once again.

The FOBs (Friends of Bill if you’ve forgotten is just about everybody with a lot boodle) praise the former president for his record on the economy. They point to a booming nation with very low unemployment.

The problem here is they give Clinton credit for the boom which he does not deserve. The former prez just got lucky.

Fact is, the Easter Bunny could have occupied the Oval Office and the economy would have boomed. Fact is, a communications (cell phones) and IT (PCs) juggernaut fueled the economy to its greatest height in history.

easter bunny

The Easter Bunny out with his kids for a Sunday stroll. Many Democrats credit Bill Clinton with bringing prosperity to the nation during the 90s. Others believe it was the Easter Bunny. ( The insert is an example of pysanky, the Ukrainian art of Easter egg decorating). 

In addition, a dot.com bubble added fuel to the fire. It, of course, burst before Clinton left office and it’s full impact was left for George W. Bush to deal with.

So forget Bill Clinton. Praise the Easter Bunny instead.

LOVELY BUNNY

The Easter Bunny comes in many forms but none so lovely as the one pictured above. 

***

A Bit Of Nonsense Up With Which No One Should Ever Have To Put.

A zafty soda-squirt was quite a snoutfair. Though subject to pussyvans, he often went lunting with his wonder-wench to help control his outbursts.

A spermologer at heart, he was really rather beef-witted.

He had few interests and was rather a dull boy. But his wonder-wench had little choice but to remain with him since she was with squirrel.

One of his favorite pastimes was jumping into cold water though the curglaff that resulted often lasted for hours and he shivered to the point that he jirbled constantly.

His wonder-wench, a bookright at heart, finally tired of his endless pussyvans and left him to become a California widow.

His addiction to tyromancy, acquired through a belief resistentialism, was an outgrowth of his pussyvans.

Sad to say, our lunting snoutfair, as fine a soda-squirt as ever there was, came to an unhappy end having to resort to groaking and then, in the end, he became a queerplunger until one day no one rescued him and he was left to drown.

The moral of the story: There’s nothing that isn’t Englishable.

Suggested by the link below where you can look up the definitions of the obsolete words used above:

http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/195348/18-obsolete-words-which-should-have-never-gone-out-of-style/

Via Madelleine Begun Kane.

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One Comment to “The DC Folly Trolley – 03/24/13”

  1. My favorite segment:

    “I just think it’s so unfair for Paul Krugman, a Nobel laureate, to pick on a simple minded Republican like Rob Portman just because Portman didn’t use facts in a TV discussion.

    It’s not like any Republican ever uses facts in any discussion anywhere at anytime. They’re trained not to. The senator from Wisconsin did exactly what he was supposed to do. Avoid the facts at all cost. So quit picking on him.”

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