The DC Folly Trolley – 04/21/13

Committee Announces Award.

Breaking News!

Pasta Fagioli, Italy

The Nobella Committee today announced the winners of The Schmuckup Prize in Economic Balderdash. The prize is shared by two American economists Carmen Rogoff and Kenneth Reinhart for their paper which purported to prove that growth slows in an economy when the debt to GDP ratio reaches 90%.

The Committee noted however that one of the two winners is arithmetic challenged and apparently made an Excel spreadsheet mistake.

A spokesman for the economists, who commented under deep background, said the economists used students to do their calculations and some damn fifth grader screwed up and forgot to carry the one.

As a result, the spreadsheet calculations turned out to be erroneous and so flawed that they damn near caused the collapse of economies across the entire planet.

Because so many of the world’s elite placed dogmatic faith in the conclusions reached by the Reinhart/Rogoff blunder, leaders of governments, banks and international organizations implemented the austerity policies demanded by the two anointed economists.

davos

Lake Davos, near the Swiss city of the same name, where the world’s economic elite decide the world’s economic fate even if the world’s economic elite are economic assholes. 

Those policies have ended in depression like conditions in the world’s major economies.

So for their work in economic balderdash, the committee congratulates the two Americans who won The Schmuckup Prize.

.

Winners of The Schmuckup Prize receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize.

In addition, winners are given the coveted statuette called The Little Schmucky engraved with the words “Schmucked up beyond all reason.” The Little Schmucky is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.

All prizes are awarded while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winners supplies just ran out.

.

To win The Schmuckup Prize you can’t be an ordinary schmuckup. There are already thousands of those in the nation’s capital. No, you have to be an extraordinarily monumental schmuckup and we are proud to say our two most recent winners fit that description.

***

Sen. Lindsey Graham and his Sunday TV talk show circuit follow traveler, Sen. John McCain, urged President Obama to classify the Boston Marathon bomber suspect Dzhokher Tsarnaev as an “enemy combatant.”

graham

Sen. Lindsey Graham, thrilled at the prospect of torturing yet another suspect. 

Better to torture him, you see, and extract valuable information about terrorist networks that he may not have and organizations that may not even exist.

Of course, Tsarnaev could well be a smoking gun – unlikely though it may be since, from all appearances, the two brothers acted alone.

But I guess it’s better to torture before the smoking gun becomes a mushroom cloud, right Condi. 

***

New Wrinkle In Face Therapy.

The Sardo Institute of Facial Therapy is offering a doctor developed special anti-aging crèam that prevents ugly facial wrinkles caused by natural aging.

The crèam was developed by a doctor who specializes in wrinkles. The doctor received his degree from the prestigious Sardo Institute of Facial Therapy and for the first time he is revealing his secret discovery through this add.

Dr. Sing Sung Calliope isolated a secret ingredient contained in elephant semen called Spermalove which when applied to the face tightens muscles in the cheeks, around the eyes and on the chin and forehead while it penetrates deep into the pores softening the skin and giving it the appearance it had when you were a teenager.

MOLECULE

The Spermalove molecule obtained from elephant semen through a secret process developed by Dr. Sing Sung Colliape.

Dr. Calliope has agreed to offer his secret cream through The Sardo Institute with a free trial and a money back guarantee. You will receive a 5 oz. jar of Dr. C’s Spermalove Anti Aging Cream plus a 16 oz. jar for the low, low price of just $19.95 plus shipping and handling. If you are not completely satisfied with Dr. C’s Spermalove Anti Aging Cream return the unused portion for a full refund. The 5 oz. jar is yours to keep just for trying Dr. C’s Spermalove.

Dr. C’s Spermalove Anti Aging Cream also works well on arms, thighs and buttocks and will give you that young again look you and your special someone craves.

And if you act right now we’ll include a second 16 oz. jar of Dr. C’s Spermalove Anti Aging Cream absolutely free. But you must act now.

Once you see the results, you’ll want to buy Spermalove by the gallon.

Send $19.95 plus $5.95 shipping and handling to:

The Sardo Institute of Facial Therapy

PO Box 555

Pasta Fagioli, Italy 555 5555

Cash Only Please.

.

Read the real story below:

Semen Has Anti-Aging Benefits? If Heather Locklear Says So… (VIDEO)

Semen Has Anti-Aging Benefits? If Heather Locklear Says So… (VIDEO)

***

Well the Democrats have bested the Republicans once again. No not in the Senate or the House. But in the race to bag the most cash.

The Dems seem to be proud of this ignominious accomplishment.

Is this race to the payola finish line something to brag about?

The entire exercise of grubbing for money is shameful.

If we didn’t know it before we should know now why the Dems have become the party of “yes”. 
.
Yes to bankster fraud.
Yes to bank bailouts.
Yes to foreclosure fraud.
Yes to too big to fail banks.
Yes to drone strikes.
Yes to Social Security cuts.
Yes to Medicare cuts.
Yes to deficit reduction.
Yes to austerity.
Yes to trade agreements.
Yes to low corporate taxes.
.
The only “no” they seem to know any longer is “no” to the problems and frustrations of Main Street.

Quite a flip flop from the real Democratic party of a few generations ago.

 

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10 Comments to “The DC Folly Trolley – 04/21/13”

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  8. Can’t we just designate all Republican pols as Enemy Combatants and get it over with? 🙂

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