Archive for May, 2013

May 26, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 05/26/13

Don’t Lose Your Head.

According to The Daily Beast, according to Paul Begala, according to Republicans, President Obama is detached.

bardet

Detached, you say.  About what?

Oh, you mean all those other things like drone killings, continuing war, spying on reporters, praising austerity, pursuing destructive trade agreements, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.– stuff like that.

It all depends on what he knew and when he knew it.  No biggie there.

At least not for Democrats who profit mightily from many of his ill-begotten policies.

Paul Begala has a different take on Obama. Read the article. It’s funny.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/

2013/05/20/stop-calling-obama-aloof.html

***

Hizzoner.

Have you heard? Anthony Weiner is running for mayor of New York. No, not from, for.

So what else is left? There are already two Democratic senators from New York. No where to go there. And he screwed up his full frontal position in the House of Representatives. So what’s left? Mayor of New York, what else?

If he wins, will everyone refer to him as hizzoner?

And should he lose, no big deal – just another boner career move by Weiner.

, member of the United States House of Represe...

Anthony Weiner, upper regions only, former member of the United States House of Representatives. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Fortunately, there’s a movie career waiting in the wings. No question about his talents there. If you get my drift.

Still like the way the guy thinks though.  He should have stuck it out and stayed in the House.  Unfortunately, chicken shit Democrats threw him under the bus.

***

Do I hear $1.9 Mil!

Here’s another piece of worthless news from the “have you heard” category.

Have you heard? Jimmy Kimmel paid $1.9 million dollars for Bea Arthur’s breasts. No, not the real ones. A painting of them.

Now I don’t have that kind of scratch, but if I did, I think I could find something better to do with it than buy a couple of boobs on a canvas. Hey, I’m a leg man.

bea

If you are viewing this image in North Carolina, duct taping of nipples is required.  (courtesy of Christie’s).

On the other hand, there’s something mysterious about that smile.

http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/david/republican-nc-lawmaker-women-should-duct-tap

***

CEO Obama.

Robert Reich, a Democrat, and a real Democrat at that, is complaining about Democrats in Congress. Again.

Picky, picky, picky.

Let’s not complain about Democrats in Congress. By keeping them confined in close quarters, we can keep an eye on them and minimize the damage they are doing to the country. Or at least slow it down a bit.

When they finally escape to Wall Street, they’ll lie, cheat and steal like the rest of that bunch and no one will know what they’re up to.

And then there’s that old bogeyman, a financial transaction tax on Wall Street trades. Every time tycoons hear that phrase they get palpitations, so quit it Robert.

Obama support a financial transaction tax on Wall Street trades??? Not if he ever wants to become CEO of Citigroup. Let’s face it. That’s where the real power is.

citi

Citigroup, London. Nice digs.

.

***

One If By Land, Two If By Sea.

Ann Coulter likes white people and wants more of them to immigrate to this country. White immigration would, of course, help to retain the traditional racial ratio of mostly Caucasian folks.

It seems her appeal is somewhat more revealing of her true nature. She referred specifically to British immigration thereby excluding, subconsciously at least, Italians, Germans, Poles, Russians, Lithuanians, Ukrainians and a veritable host of other nationalities.  Maybe she doesn’t consider them white.

But I have a better idea. Why not just invade and conquer Canada? That tundra bedeviled country has a predominately white population of nearly 35 million people. And war is a lot quicker way of bringing white folks into the country than waiting for a bunch of staid, tweedy British to wave goodbye to her queenship.

There are however two drawbacks to conquering Canada. First, Quebec Province is French. Not sure how Ann would feel about incorporating another bunch of foreign language speaking people into the good ole US of A.

ann2

Second, Canada has universal health insurance. Any war would surely be opposed by Blue Cross.

On the other hand, there’s a lot of tar sands oil in that tundra. Enough to make an Exxon CEO drool. So you could put the oil industry in the war column.

And war is to die for as far as Ann is concerned.  Makes for a lot of good news stories, don’t cha know.

***

Brain Dead Republican.

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) berated a woman who had an abortion under the most tragic of circumstances. Doctors had told her that the fetus she was carrying did not have a functioning brain. She then decided to end the pregnancy.

Without a hint of compassion or sympathy for the woman’s plight, Gohmert suggested the woman should have carried the brain dead fetus to term just in case the doctors were wrong.

The abortion occurred at 21 weeks and Gohmert, along with other Republicans, is supporting legislation that would ban abortions after 20 weeks regardless of circumstances, including rape and incest.

Another Republican Georgia state Rep. Terry England, once compared women to animals in similar situations saying he had often delivered dead calves and pigs but under know circumstances would he ever allow one of his animals to undergo an abortion.

Given the statements of these two creeps, it appears that at least some brain dead fetuses do make it to term and go on to serve in Congress.

Louie Gohmert Tells Woman She Should Have Carried Brain-Dead Fetus To Term, Just In Case (VIDEO)

***

Confused.

Sarah Palin got confused. She said she could see Australia from her front porch.

She later apologized for her mistake and said she meant “Africa.”

Later she said she always did get her cities mixed up.

Now, now. Let’s cut the little lady some slack. She just wants to be president. It’s not like she’ll ever teach a class in geography, ya know.

aus2

Actually, I fudged a little bit about Sarah being confused. It wasn’t about geography. After all she is a winner of the Schmuckup Prize in that subject.

But she is confused (anyone surprised). In a tweet to which she claimed authorship, she wrote that the FBI is spying on AP journalists.

Of course, it’s not the FBI that’s spying on journalists. At least not this time around. It’s the Obama administration that’s committing the dirty deed in a misguided effort to plumb leaks – of the security variety. The FBI is merely examining tax exempt applications of right wing groups trying to skip out on their taxes.

sarah1

You mean Australia isn’t the capital of Texas?  Rats.  Don’t tell me. I know it begins with an “A”.

******

Te-ennn Hut!

flag

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May 19, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 05/19/13

Once Again, Harry.

Harry Reid is really, really mad at Republicans for obstructing the business of the Senate. This time Harry is really, really mad. For real.

It seems Republicans are blocking confirmation of President Obama’s judicial nominees and this makes Harry really, really mad.

Harry’s so mad that he’s threatened the “nuclear option.” That means Harry will end Republican filibusters and bring nominees up for a vote requiring only a simple majority.

If Harry does end GOP abuse of the filibuster, it will make Republicans really, really mad. And since Harry, and most other Democrats are afraid to make Republicans really, really mad, chances are Harry will bluster about a bit, maybe get one judicial nominee to pass with a 60-40 vote and return to his old ways of scratching his balding head and wondering why the Senate is in such a mess.

mitch1

Mitch McConnell sporting a new coiffure and the shit-eatingest grin in the Senate. Oh, he did mention something about Harry Reid pissing his pants once again.

According to a highly placed Senate source, Harry has decided to give Republicans just one more chance to stop exploiting the filibuster rule. Harry made Mitch McConnell say “cross my heart and hope to die” and then did a pinky shake with the Minority Leader.

Harry said he looked deep into McConnell’s eyes and saw warmth and honesty flowing from his heart.

The source also said that while McConnell crossed his heart with his right hand he placed his left behind his back and flipped Harry a bird.

According to Senate rules, that gesture freed the GOP Senate leader from any promises he might have made to Reid’s face.

The source also said that McConnell doesn’t believe a damn thing Harry ever says anyways.

So while Senate Dems are just wild about Harry, no way is the Majority Leader going to make the GOP really, really mad by invoking the nuclear option. If he does so, after all, the Republicans might just abuse the filibuster.

***

NC GOP: Replacing Success With Failure.

The North Carolina GOP is planning to turn the state’s Medicaid over to the free market.

This usually means that private profit making companies will be free to cut services, free to hire cheap help and free to gouge as much profit from needy patients as owners and shareholders demand.

To accomplish all of the above the state government pledges to deliver a tidy stipend of taxpayer boodle to ensure that the businesses make a handsome profit.

mc1

Pat McCrory, GOP governor of North Carolina, in conjunction with a Republican legislature, intends to turn public affairs in the state on its head. As in other states with Republican control, the hollowing out of government will receive priority. Businesses, of course, will prosper. But only at great expense to the taxpayer. (Photo, Hal Goodtree).

The GOP gambit promises to deliver the same services as a similar plan in Kentucky. Patients in the Blue Grass State soon discovered that small providers (once called doctors) have been so squeezed by profit gouging companies that many have been forced to borrow money to keep providing care to needy patients. What happens when the credit runs out? Oh, well!

And auditors in the state are still trying to discover what happened to some $300 million in taxpayer funds.

Personally, I’d check Wall Street.

Now Tar Heel taxpayers should prepare themselves for the profit gouging. Big bucks for shareholders; diminished health care for the needy.

I really have to wonder if the citizens of the once great state of North Carolina realized what they were getting when they cast their votes for Republicans on Election Day. Did they really mean to deprive the needy of health care?

Probably did. After all, NC voters aren’t stupid and who cares about a bunch of poor people anyway. Right, NC? Right.

http://www.starnewsonline.com/
article/20130414/ARTICLES
/130419816/0/opinion?p=2&tc=pg

***

Impeachment On Table.

According to an unimpeachable White House leaker, Barack Obama has put his impeachment on the table in return for Republican willingness to negotiate a “grand bargain” with the president.

barack

Barack Obama, confident of his superior negotiating skills, has agreed to put his impeachment on the table in exchange for a “grand bargain” with Republicans.

The leaked information gives strong indication that Obama would grant full White House assistance to the House Judiciary Committee should it decide to bring Articles of Impeachment before the full House.

Obama is said to be willing to negotiate the articles in return for cuts to Social Security and Medicare and some concessions on tax reform, with the latter items to be announced at a later date.

The House leadership is apparently eager to proceed to the negotiating table. However, Senate GOP leaders have demurred. They are demanding that Obama enter a guilty plea to the Articles of Impeachment to avoid a Senate trial. GOP senators believe they could not convict Obama in a trial in the Democratic controlled Senate and are insisting that the president agree to a plea of guilty to avoid a trial.

Given the president’s exceptionally strong negotiating skills, the White House is said to be considering the proposal.

.

Meanwhile a group of Democrats is garnering support for the impeachment proceedings. According to this group, Obama helped the party defeat one of the worst GOP candidates in history and the president has now outlived his usefulness to Democrats. They believe it’s time to give Vice President Joe Biden a chance to bring some semblance of governance to Follyland.

***

Santilli Lace With An Ugly Face.

petey

Is there a rational conservative (oxymoron alert) who would condone this sick mental dwarf”s disgusting rant?

Yet another one emerges from under the rock.

Here’s the headline quoted from Forward Progressives:

Crazed Radio Host Pete Santilli’s Rant About “Shooting Hillary in the Vagina” Has Done Two Things.

Sick bastard. No other term is suitable under the circumstances.  Read the article if you can stomach it..

http://www.forwardprogressives.com/pete-santilli/

 

May 18, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 05/18/13

Really Bad News.

Want to hear some really bad news? The deficit is dwindling. Yes, that’s right, the deficit is falling. It will probably be less than 5% of GDP this year and a whole lot less than that next year, according to Paul Krugman.

http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/08/the-dwindling-deficit/?smid=tw-NytimesKrugman&seid=auto

English: "Paul Krugman lectured on "...

English: “Paul Krugman lectured on “After Bush – The End of the Neo-Conservatives and the Moment for the Democrats” to over 500 guests in the jam-packed big lecture hall at the German National Library in Frankfurt” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Barons von Simpson and von Bowles are in a tizzy. It’s been more than two years now since the two predicted the nation’s economy would implode in two years.

Well, it’s still going and the two aristocrats are still waiting for the fateful event and growing angrier by the minute that economic destruction isn’t happening the way they predicted.

Von Simpson is reported to have done a Rumpelstiltskin, pounding the floor so hard that he opened a hole and fell through.

And von Bowles, whose shouts set off alarms in the corporate media heard round the world, is said to be cooped up in his fancy digs attending only board gigs for which he receives a quarter of a million dollars, his voice now a veritable peep.

bowles

Erskine Bowles, as President of the University of North Carolina, signs an agreement with two generals of the U.S. Marine Corps. Bowles is a two time loser in campaigns for Senator from North Carolina. This loser’s political corpse has been repeatedly resurrected by President Obama each and every time he invokes the failed Cat Food Commission headed by Bowles and crotchety old geezer Alan Simpson.

In fact, if it were not for President Obama, in full Lazarus mode, repeatedly raising from the dead the failed Cat Food Commission headed by the two barons, Simpson and Bowles would have been cast long ago into history’s garbage dump.

Sadly for these Aesop weavers of economic fables, only a tiny elite still believe the fairy tales. And for these dogmatists, still mesmerized by the Pied Pipers of the Obama Cat Food Commission, the news is just as disheartening.

And so they pray to the gods von Simpson and von Bowles. “Oh, great soothsayers of economic calamity, here our pleadings and bring upon us the deficit doom we so fervently need to support our austerity dogma.”

But, alas, the news is all bad. The deficit is declining.

***

Stick ’em Up, Yee Lowly Varmint.

Five schools in the Pennsylvania State Higher Education System will allow students to carry guns on campus.

Kutztown, Shippensburg, Edinboro, Slippery Rock and Millersville University have concurred with the advice of an attorney that prohibiting guns on campus may be a violation of the state’s constitution.

In keeping with this advice the schools are instituting a Billy the Kid Curriculum to teach students when and how to use firearms, the art of the quick draw and rigging a holster to win in a shootout. Proper dueling etiquette will be a required three credit course for students who wish to complete the degree.

According to an administration official, the goal of the program will be to teach students how to survive in a fully armed society.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/11/guns-in-schools_n_3258786.html

***

Jumping On The IRS.

Sarah Palin, the sage who can see Russia from her front porch if she stands on her tippy, tippy toes (well, she does live in Alaska and it’s only a hop, skip and a very cold swim across the Bering Strait to Siberia so maybe on a clear day, who knows) has accused the IRS of scrutinizing the affairs of right wing think tanks (oxymoron alert) in an effort to help President Obama get reelected.

sarah

Do you think my mouth is too big?

Not that Obama needed a whole lot of help to defeat the incredibly forgettable Mr. 47% what’s his name. Nevertheless, the IRS did check out groups whose names contained the words “tea party” or “patriot.”

It should all come to naught though. You see, tax laws are so rigged that almost any political group that supports one of the two major parties can get a tax exemption on a crooked politicians say so. And you know how many of those there are in Follyland alone.

Anyway, last year’s winner of The Schmuckup Prize in Geography for knowing where Africa is located (even though she needed two tries); former Miss Alaska and, if memory serves, a former governor, complained in her Facebook page that her best “tea party” buds were being unfairly treated by the IRS because it audited the organizations.

You’d think they were members of the 99% who, in case you’re wondering, are subjected to most of the audit notices.

The solution to this non-problem: Tax political contributions.

***

Bachmann Calls For Day Of Prayer.

Michele Bachmann called for a National Day of Prayer and Fasting to commemorate the 9/11 attacks and the Benghazi affair, which also occurred on 9/11.

Guess Michele isn’t getting much face time in the news these days. She must be suffering from Bachmann Attention Deficit Syndrome (BADS).

bach

Not to worry.  Michele always has something up her sneaky sleeve.  A good way to rouse up the boys and girls in the corporate media is to call for prayer. That always gets their attention: A nice, safe non-news story splashed around the flat screen and the net can bring a reporter fame and fortune; and Bachmann some desperately needed relief from the BADS.

Not that we really need a day of prayer and fasting.  We can pray any time we want.  And fasting!  McDonald’s would have a canniption (and I’m not talkin’ beer here or pale ale for that matter). I mean no food for a day.  

Holy pepperoni pizza, Batman.  Do we really have to fast for a day to get Michele out of the BADS?

Hang on to your cape, Robin.  Do like me.  I plan to give up liver.

***

Bacsheesh For Obamacare.

Orrin Hatch is right. Grubbing for bucks to implement Obamacare is absurd.

But that’s exactly what Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius is doing: Making phone calls to big business to drum up payola for Obamacare.

kath

Kathleen Sebelius – on the prowl for big spenders.  Meow.

Why any business should ante up is beyond me, except perhaps for some future political payoff. But then they’ve already got that covered.

Let’s face it, businesses don’t want to pay for health care. Health insurance companies don’t want to pay for health care.

Would that they would all get out of the field and leave us to our own devices.

The only thing worse than the current system is no system at all.

Unfortunately Obamacare does little to solve the real crisis in health care, unaffordable costs for all.  And it just keeps getting worse..

May 5, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 05/05/13

It’s The Jobs, Stupid.

The recent jobs report sent Wall Street stocks soaring to a new record.

Yes, 165,000 thousands jobs were created by the economy in April. But that number is only part of the good news.

The real joy that the report created among Wall Streeters was that more than 60,000 of those jobs were logged by the low wage, no benefit retail, hospitality, home health care and temporary employment sectors.

File:Volunteers of America Soup Kitchen WDC.gif

The American soup kitchen. Austerity at its worst.

A Wall Street analyst, who insisted on anonymity, said expectations are high that wages will continue to fall and benefits vanish. These steps are necessary, he continued, if American workers ever hope to compete with Asian wage slave teeny boppers. Making the middle class competitive with the rest of the world is really the Street’s goal and Americans are terribly ungrateful to their betters for the concern shown by the wealthy.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with earning a bowl of rice a day. After all, rice is nourishing and has healthful benefits. For example, a bowl-a-day rice diet would quickly eliminate the scourge of obesity now plaguing the nation.

Americans simply do not appreciate the fact that Wall Street really is concerned about their welfare.

Ingrates.

***

Scandal Erupts.

Well, I declare there’s a scandal brewing over the heads of Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff, last weeks winners of The Schmuckup Prize. No, they’re not sleeping around or together for that matter.

carmen2

Carmen Reinhart getting bent outta shape over a busybody grad student who just didn’t know how to mind his own damned business.

The real scandal is that they are both associated with The Peterson Institute, that nefarious organization that funds extreme right wing causes such as the destruction of Social Security and Medicare.

The she part of the Reinhart-Rogoff doofy duo is a Senior Fellow at that sleazy foundation; and she is married to an economist at the right wing American Enterprise Institute.

The he part of the tag team is a member of the Advisory Board of that same Peterson anti-deficit propaganda outfit.

These memberships should help explain their devotion to anti-deficit “scholarship.” They’re getting paid to manipulate the data they report and they cooperate with their rich benefactors by “making mistakes” so the statistics conform to the campaign to pump up deficit hysteria – whose goal, after all, is to slash and burn the social safety net.

Check out Thom Hartmann’s take on the scam at the Smirking Chimp (http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/thom-hartmann/49307/the-dirty-secret-behind-right-wing-austerity)

The motivation behind the worldwide con of austerity has been discovered. And, the source is none other than Pete Peterson – the debt obsessed billionaire who stands to make billions off the privatization of our social safety net. Just days ago we told you how a 28-year old grad student debunked the Reinhart-Rogoff study used to push austerity throughout the world . Well, now we know why Republican “fuzzy math” was used in the first place. Pete Peterson’s organizations bankrolled that study.

Hey, if the data doesn’t support the agenda, fake it!

And by all means take the cash.

Holy corruption, Batman.  You mean I can turn crooked and get big bucks for doing it.

***

Austerity Beauty Queen Selected.

Breaking News! Breaking News! Breaking News!

Pasta Fagiola, Italy. Dateline 05-04-13.

From the UPW newswires.  Unreliable Press Worldwide, surpassing the corporate media in reporting worthlessly useless news the world over.

The Ms. World Austerity Beauty Queen Committee has named this year’s austerity queen. Announced just moments ago, the new queen is German Chancellor Angela Merkle.

A spokesman for Ms. Merkle said the chancellor is delighted with her new title of Austerity Beauty Queen and will endeavor to do everything in her power to live up to the honor bestowed upon her by the esteemed committee members.

Ms. Merkle won the title competing in this year’s overflowing field of three contestants.

However, within moments of her selection, the other contestants filed a protest accusing Ms. Merkle of using a substitute during some of the more physically demanding stages of the contest.

Ms. Merkle denied the accusations.

Below is a photo of the new queen taken shortly after completing of one of the more demanding phases of the competition.

angela 3

Christine LeGarde, head of the IMF, managed to finish second in the voting, even though the judges were beginning to doubt her commitment to austerity.  The IMF chief remained tight lipped after her defeat although an anonymous source revealed Ms. LeGarde, in a jealous rage, started the rumor that Chancellor Merkle cheated.

Carmen Reinhart barely managed a third place finish in a field of three largely due to recent revelations of sloppy scholarship.

cl

Christine LeGarde putting on a happy face after her crushing defeat in the Ms. World Austerity Beauty Queen Contest.

***

Do You Know Where You Live?

No, I don’t mean your street address. Most of us know that.

I mean where you really live. Like in the middle of a black hole, maybe.

Yes, it’s true. You could very well be living in a black hole. And if you are, that means all of the rest of us are as well.

Now black holes are supposed to be regions of very dense matter. So dense in fact that any object that wanders into its event horizon cannot escape the enormous gravitational pull it exerts. And all matter that enters the lethal zone is crushed to atoms and becomes a part of that mysteriously dense object.

BLACK HOLE

An illustration of a black hole. The halo surrounding the violent center is known as the event horizon. When matter or light are captured in that zone’s deadly grip, there is no escape.

So how can anything possibly survive in such an inhospitable environment? Some physicists theorize that not only can life exist within a black hole, but an entire universe may occupy its center.

How can that be in an area of almost infinite density? Well, if the force within that’s pushing out equals the external crushing force, the two offset and a space of a sort can exist inside the black hole.

That space by the way is our space, aka the universe. That rapidly expanding field of junk we call stars and planets and solar systems and galaxies is spreading out with a force so powerful that it actually prevents the crushing gravity of a black hole from squishing us like insects hit with a blacksmith’s hammer.

And where does that black hole in which we are so benevolently contained exist? In another universe of course, a universe made of a the same junk as our own, that is, stars and planets and solar systems and galaxies. This universe, however, is exponentially larger than ours.

This idea exists at all because scientists are desperately seeking a grand unified theory of physics, one that merges quantum mechanics – the field that deals with the tiny particles that make up the atom – and metaphysics, the branch that explores the vast stretches of our universe, where ever it happens to be.

One of the mysteries still unexplained is the force that’s causing our universe to expand at a continuously accelerating rate. For want of a better term, that unknown force is called “dark energy.” Perhaps, just perhaps, that energy is provided by a black hole consuming unimaginably large quantities of matter and converting it into power sufficient to sustain the expansion.

Interesting theory, no doubt.  But you still have to pay your bills this month and that’s called reality which is as inescapable as the event horizon of a black hole.  

At least you know where you live now.

***

Pharaoh’s Envy.

Guess you’ve heard by now. George W. Bush got hisself a new liberry. And it has books. At least, according to the rumors.

A quarter billion dollars oughter getcha a couple books, don’t ya think..

Land sakes, I do declare, tickets are actually on sale for visits to the GWB museum. And prices have been sharply reduced for the grand opening. From $10, to $5 to fifty cents. Better hurry, these prices won’t last and supplies are limited.

A spokesman for the former president said he was overwhelmed and gratified by the huge turnout for the event.

Bush gave a dime for tickets to each of the three kids who showed up.

bush library

Nice building though. It would turn a pharaoh pea green with envy.

(Photo by J.P. Faberback).