The DC Folly Trolley – 07/07/13

The Evolution of Cunnilingus.

A study published in the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology revealed that men perform oral sex on their wives to prevent infidelity.

tongue

The human tongue from Gray’s Anatomy with tastes buds for bitter marked.

And I always thought it was fun.

The researchers who performed the study interviewed 243 men and referred to oral sex as a mate-retention strategy.

The conclusion, as near as I can tell, is that 243 men on this planet perform oral sex on their wives to keep them from cheating.

Recently, however, some high school kid discovered that the researchers made a spreadsheet error.

Analyzing their conclusions, you might be led to believe only 243 men perform oral sex on their wives and do it only to prevent them from messing around. In fact, billions of us do it because we like it.

Now I can’t help wondering if Neanderthal males performed oral sex on their mates. If so, the act certainly wouldn’t be necessary to prevent infidelity. I’m sure Neanderthals had mate-retention strategies that weren’t nearly so pleasurable.

neander

Did he or didn’t he? Judging from the smile on his face….

(Photo:  Erich Ferdinand).  http://www.flickr.com/photos/erix/143447820/

Then there’s the matter of female scent, caused by vaginal secretions which contain something called pheromones and which the ladies used in prehistoric times to attract a mate. The scent heightened male arousal and who can tell where that led him.

In any case, I sincerely hope the study wasn’t funded by a Federal grant. Now that would be a waste of money.

***

Prize Awarded.

breaking news

Pasta Fagioli, Italy.

The Nobella Prize Committee announced a few moments ago that Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) has won The Schmuckup Prize. Long a runner-up for this prestigious award, the senator finally garnered the required number of votes necessary to bring home the honor.

McConnell won for his contention that the U.S. Constitution is unconstitutional. The Constitution, he said, must be changed to include a balanced budget amendment. “We’ve tried persuasion. We’ve tried negotiations. We’ve tried elections. Nothing has worked.”

The senator proposed an amendment that would radically alter the foundations of the document.  A balanced budget would overturn the will of the people and the will of their representatives in Congress, virtually declaring the document a dead piece of paper.

MITCHCAR

Just fading away….

And from Think Progress:

It’s worth noting just what McConnell is asking the American people to choke down. Senate Republicans’ so-called “balanced budget amendment” does far more than simply requiring federal spending to equal federal revenues. It makes it functionally impossible to raise taxes by imposing a two-thirds super majority requirement — a provision closely modeled after the California anti-tax amendment that blew up that state’s finances. It would also require spending cuts so steep that it would have made Ronald Reagan’s fiscal policy unconstitutional.

Ezra Klein rightfully labeled this plan the “worst idea in Washington.”

http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2011/

07/13/267791/mcconnell-hates-democracy/

And so McConnell becomes that latest winner of The Schmuckup Prize.

.

Winners of The Schmuckup Prize receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize.

In addition, winners are given the coveted statuette called The Little Schmucky engraved with the words “Schmucked up beyond all reason.” The Little Schmucky is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.

All prizes are awarded while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.

To win The Schmuckup Prize you can’t be an ordinary schmuckup. There are already thousands of those in the nation’s capital. No, you have to be an extraordinarily monumental schmuckup and we are proud to say our most recent winner fits that description.

***

Pillar of America:  The Kickback.

Greedy banker to greedy CEO: Say, how about you pay your workers with my debit cards. I’ll charge them hefty fees and give you a piece of the action.

Greedy CEO to greedy banker: Deal!

Just when you think bankers and businessmen can’t get any greedier, they go ahead and disappoint and do just that. Get greedier, that is.

If there’s anything eternal in this life, it’s greed at the top.

money1

Love of money is the root of all evil. Praise be the Almighty Dollar.

We have payday loan companies that charge mob like interest rates, now the debit card flim flam and, if you haven’t heard, credit cards with interest rates that soar above 300%.

Many of the payday loan boutiques are owned and operated by, you guessed it, greedy bankers. And the credit cards with rocketing interest rates are issued by Native American bosses from Indian reservations not governed by Federal or state laws.

One thing we can all count on, however, There’s always a good way to make a fast buck in America.

By the way, some state governments issued kickback debit cards to unemployed workers. Just to rub a little salt into the wounds.

Daily Kos: Employers Pay Workers with Costly Debit Cards

***

Eight years was awesome and I was famous and I was powerful. George W. Bush.

.

FLAG ON COFFIN 

***

Oh, I almost forgot. Happy Fourth of July weekend.

***

3 Responses to “The DC Folly Trolley – 07/07/13”

  1. It’s hard to believe that it took Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) so long to win The Schmuckup Prize. Astonishing!

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