Archive for August, 2013

August 25, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 08/25/13

When Your Smilin’.

Foxy New’s star Greta Van Susteren was observed smiling today.

greta

Paparazzi caught Greta Van Susteren attempting to smile. Some of the photographers believed the event was staged.  Is her smile real?  Only her plastic surgeon knows.

The brief facial expression is believed to be the first time in years that the Foxy 10 PM star spread her lips.

So rare is such an episode that many observers believed the smile was a staged photo-op.

Photographers who were invited to the event noted that a rumor spreading wildly around the scene accused the Fox star of taking secret smiling lessons from Hollywood’s famous lip guru known professionally as “Sammy the Smirk” who was present during the session.

It is believed that Van Susteren is considering permanent smile plastic surgery.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/21/south-korean-plastic-surgery-smile_n_3786125.html

Shortly after the embarrassed Van Susteren flashed her phony smile, she accused President Obama of staging a photo-op on the golf course and criticized him for diddling at the game while so many Americans are out of work..

http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/

van-susteren-is-obama-golfing-truther-whiffing-pic

While practicing her grin, the Foxy News star failed to note that the unemployment crisis resulted from the criminal behavior of Wall Street banksters and all attempts to effectively eliminate the tragedy have been blockaded by the Repub Party.

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An Expensive Trim Job.

Jared Bernstein wrote that he would not want Larry Summers to mow his lawn.

Well, I wouldn’t want him to mow mine either. He’d undoubtedly charge $250.000 a cut.

Plus expenses.

And hire minimum wage labor to do the job.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jared-bernstein/fed-chair-larry-summers-janet-yellen_b_3790764.html

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At It Again.

Repubs in the House of Representatives appealed to John Boehner, the Speaker who can’t control his caucus, to reject any budget deal that does not defund Obamacare.

The cabal in the House, as well as some Repub members of the Senate, are out to kill the Affordable Care Act completely. Boehner, while in agreement with the movement, warned against doing so as part of a government shutdown.

BOEHNER

The hapless Boehner, whose approval ratings in his home state are approaching that of syphilis, is afraid that a shutdown would create a backlash against Repubs in the 2014 elections that could cost him his Speakership.

Guess he’s scared his party’s actions could do to him exactly what President Obama’s sneaky Oval Office meetings with health industry executives did to Nancy Pelosi’s Speakership when the Dems were overwhelmed in 2010 – destroyed it as we well know.

As for the president, he’s about making Repubs drool with his tempting offers to cut benefit programs like Social Security and Medicare.

It seems however, you just can’t make a Repub happy. They want to kill off not only Obamacare but the two signature Democratic benefit programs as well.

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Rum Day.

Yes, there is a national rum day. Sadly, I’ve never been a fan of the drink of pirates and English sailors. Gratefully, there are many alternatives.

Here’s a ditty to the sugar cane distilled alcoholic beverage which, if you didn’t know, was served on board ship by the Royal Navy and came to be called “grog”, a version of rum diluted with water and a citrus juice to prevent the Vitamin C deficiency suffered by sailors and known as scurvy.

Fee fi foe fum
Never had a Coke and rum
Prefer a drink a bit more hearty
That’s the way to start a party
Though they say good rum will numb.
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Four and twenty black birds 10 ounce glass of rye.
That’ll turn your nose red my oh my oh my.
Next a spot of good scotch
That makes your face a blotch
Pray the Lord will gently set you safely down to lie.
 
ships
The great sailing ships of yesteryear were a sight to behold. In the Royal Navy, sailors on board were given a daily ration of rum often mixed with lime juice and diluted with water. Called “grog”, the mixture prevented the vitamin C deficiency disease known as scurvy. (Artist not known).  
 
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Wanna Be President.

Who am I speaking of? Rick Santorum. Who else?Yes, he’s getting some face time, this time, until next time.

The former senator and current presidential wanna be took Repubs to task for not appealing to the working class voter. He didn’t say Repubs should take actions to earn working class votes. Just say a few “heartfelt” words to bring the vote home to the 2016 GOP presidential candidate, who might possibly be Little Ricky himself.

rick1

It’s the old compassionate conservative schtick served up on the same stick and stuck in the same place Repubs usually shaft the middle class.But “talk it up fellow GOPers” is the Santorum message. Happy talk might just bring in enough votes to push the former senator into the Oval Office.

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/10/
rick-santorum-gop_n_3737378.html?ncid=txtlnkushpmg00000037
 
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Former VP Candidate Gets Whiny.

Gets whiny. Who am I kidding? She’s been whining since her 2008 defeat.

This particular whine is about Repub elitists restraining her from speaking about Jeremiah Wright, former Obama pastor, and Bill Ayers, one time founder of the Weatherman, the anti-Vietnam war group.

The McCain campaign managers feared the media would pounce if those tired old subjects were revived.

sarah

Anyways, Sarah still looks great in a bikini and if she had campaigned in one she probably would have improved McCain’s vote total.

(Sorry about the sexist statement, ladies. But I can’t help thinking the bikini was one of mankind’s greatest inventions. And there was a time when everyone of you looked great in one).

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Pasta E Fagioli With A Twist.

The Sardo Institute of Chemistry Studies is offering a complete set of instructions on how to establish a Do-It-Yourself Methamphetamine Processing Laboratory.

For a limited time only The Sardo Institute is offering a Do-It-Yourself Methamphetamine Lab Instruction Kit at the amazingly low, low price of $19.95 plus shipping and handling.

The Sardo Institute’s Do-It-Yourself Methamphetamine Lab Instruction Kit comes complete with everything you need to know to build your very own meth laboratory.

The Kit includes dozens of recipes to help you increase your enjoyment of this delightful chemical substance. Here’s just one.

First, assign one member of your family (usually an adult) as the designated chef.

Next add one quart of Extra Virgin Olive Oil to a pressure cooker (not included).

Heat the olive oil to 100 deq.

Add 10 oz. oregano.

Separate and slowly add 1 lb. of dandelion leaves, spinach or escarole.

Salt to taste and reheat.

Now add 20 mg of ephedrine which you can conveniently obtain from your local pharmacy (be sure to ask about our Do-It-Yourself Breaking And Entering Kit).

Bring the contents to a slow boil for two hours. (As a precaution, evacuate your place of residence during this step).

Next the designated chef should re-enter the residence and carefully open the pressure cooker (not included).

Remove the cooked leaves from the pot being careful not to disturb the white crystalline substance that layered on the leaves during the boiling off process.

Place the leaves on previously prepared bowls of paste e fagioli and serve hot to dinner guests.

You’re sure to be delighted when guests begin to experience a warm, dreamy intimacy the recipe is guaranteed to induce.

To get your very own Sardo Institute Do-It-Yourself Methamphetamine Laboratory Instruction Kit send $19.95 plus $5.95 shipping and handling to:

The Sardo Institute of Chemistry Studies
PO Box 555 5555
Pasta Fagioli, Italy 55555
Cash Only Please.

And if you act right now, we’ll include a second kit absolutely free. Just pay shipping and handling.

As always if you are not completely satisfied with your instruction kit, simply return it in 30 minutes for a full refund.

dandelions

Dandelions in bloom on a farm. Its leaf is edible.  (Attribution: Richard Croft).

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If the instructions above seem a tad phony, The Sardo Institute isn’t the only organization that got it wrong. Check out the article below about Breaking Bad getting meth wrong.

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http://www.salon.com/2013/08/22/

so_what_if_pure_meth_isnt_really_blue.

partner/

August 11, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 08/11/13

Gurgle, Gurgle.

A rising tide sinks small boats.

calming

Storm on the Sea of Galilee by Ludolf Bakhuizen.

Only God can keep our boats afloat.

***

Are The Rich Nervous Yet?

If you haven’t watched this short on MoveOn or seen it on Facebook, it’s worth the time. The narrator is Ed Asner, a icon for decades in the role of Lou Grant on The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

asner

http://www.moveon.org/share/72e232/

hollywood-legend-ed-asner-has-outraged-republicans

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Blunder Wonder.

I really hate to keep picking on this guy, but everybody else does so why not.

We are of course talking about Larry The Blunder Guy.

Larry Summers is part of the tragic triumvirate that has to share a large part of the blame for The Great Recession. That terrible trio of Bill Clinton, Robert Rubin and The Blunder Guy himself advocated for and signed off on the horror show known as bank deregulation. That crunching sound you keep hearing is an economy still collapsing under the weight of crushed housing and minimum wage junk jobs.

Of course, these Clintonistas weren’t the only law breakers who completely cracked the Glass-Steagall rules that prohibited the merger of commercial and investment banks.

gramm

Former Texas Senator Phil Gramm, arch-enemy of all things government that don’t protect the wealthy.  Got him rich though.

We also have to thank blunder wonders Phil Gramm, Jim Leach and Tom Bliley, Republicans from right wing states, for authoring the Orwellian-named and catastrophic Financial Services and Modernization Act of 1999. This blight on the public trust led to the rise of the so-called “too big to fail” banks and the near collapse of the planet’s economy. But, before we label the miscreants who finagled a wild west environment for the gunslingers of Wall Street as fools, let us not forget that their devilish deeds gained untold wealth for each of these major accessories to the financial collapse of 2008.

Just one example, I’ve read estimates of Bill Clinton’s riches that range as high as $68 million. You don’t accumulate that kind of geedis by blocking Wall Street scams.

Yet among this group of wealthy misfits, Larry Summers stands out. The former Obama adviser is inextricably linked to the infamous Enron debacle.

During the period when Enron execs were diabolically manipulating energy prices in California, Summers told then Gov. Gray Davis in a phone conversation that the state’s regulations were responsible for the soaring prices and that Davis needed to, what else, deregulate. Summers, in effect, thumbed his nose at Californians suffering under a rigged market in electricity pricing.

So the Blunder Guy struck yet again by refusing to help financially strapped residents of the Golden State just when they needed help the most.

(There are many books covering the Enron flim flam. One of the best among them is Ken Eichenwald’s Conspiracy of Fools. You can find a copy in your local library, if you still have one. Also good is The Smartest Guys In The Room by Bethany McLean and Peter Elkind. Both books illustrate how greed and a callous disregard for their fellow men drive the executives who rule corporations and Wall Street banks).

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/05/

larry-summers-enron_n_3708137.html

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breaking news

During a recent press conference, President Barack Obama once again praised the service of Larry Summers . According to reports, the former economic adviser is still on the president’s short list for Fed Chair nominees.

barry larry

barry loves

Only in America.   

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King Of The Hill.

Rep. Peter King (R-NY) announced today that he is serious about seeking the nomination of his party to run for president.

king

Peter King of New York.  Going for the whole shebang.

If he wins the election, we will finally have an undisputed “King of the Hill.”

Don’t laugh. He already has Wall Street and corporate payola in his pocket and he has his sights set squarely on the defense/security industry. With that kind of cash, who knows?

According to a spokesperson, King is already taking speech lessons to help him moderate his Noo Yawk twang. He will soon be speaking Iowa English.

You may recall that when former governor Al Smith ran for president, some thought his heavy New York accent contributed to the loss to Herbert Hoover, who won the election easily.

In the next cycle, then NY Gov. Franklin Roosevelt’s aristocratic manner of speaking appeared to be an asset (along with the depression, of course).

Regardless of accent, God save us all if King pulls it off.

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He Did His Best To Tell It Like It Is.

“The real reason we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal”, “Thou shalt not commit adultery” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.” George Carlin, an American hero.

carlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acLW1vFO-2Q

Why didn’t we listen to him?

***

Democracy Ends In U.S. Before It Begins.

Well, it’s not like we ever really had a democracy. Not if you consider the overpowering influence of campaign payola versus the vote. To win in U.S. politics, even to begin, you gotta have the geedis. (Geedis-Mafia speak for money).

Speaking of the vote, the vast majority of American citizens were disenfranchised for more than half of the country’s existence.

In the beginning, only propertied males could vote. Women didn’t gain the vote until early in the 20th century and African-Americans, at least in the South, were denied the vote until well past the mid-century mark.

Moreover, for all of its history, the United States Senate has been and remains an undemocratic institution. To wit, some 500,000 citizens in Wyoming are represented in that miserable body by two votes as are the more than 37,000,000 residents of California. So vast is the imbalance in the Senate that small states with a minority of the nation’s population have come to dominate the majority. And you thought we lived in a democracy!

That brings us, rather abruptly, to former President Jimmy Carter, who recently said “America has no functioning democracy.” Carter was referring to the corrupting influence of Wall Street and corporate cash on government. He might as well have included the entire history of the country from its inception to the present.

jimmy carter

Jimmy Carter, a good man but an unlucky president.

Related articles

August 4, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 08-04/13

Game Or Reality.

There’s been lots of fuss lately about the new banker’s version of Monopoly. The game will eliminate the “get out of jail free” card but will include a “bribe your Congress critters” card so you don’t have to go to jail in the first place.

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bulletin 

The approval rating of Congress has just dipped below that of genital herpes.

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Holy God!!!

Justice Antonin Scalia agreed with Pope Francis’s announcement that he would not judge gay priests. Scalia’s statement that judging gays only makes things worse places him in a position at the right hand of the pope where he now sitteth. The justice however sadly admitted that his new seat was a demotion since previously, so he claimed,  he sat at the right hand of God.

One of the most activist justices in Supreme Court history lost his position next to the Supreme Being after he displeased the Deity when he made a statement declaring the Holocaust was brought on by judicial activism. We all know the justice’s reasoning is upside down, inside out and backwards yet not necessarily hair-brained. It seems Scalia made the statement after God told him not to. His actions mark the first time the judge disobeyed God’s instructions.

scalia

Who is God to tell Scalia what to think anyway?

In his own defense, the judge said he misunderstood the words his Heavenly Father spoke to him.

According to a spokesperson, the justice made a good confession asking forgiveness.

The penitential plea went unheeded, however, because God was out drinking the day before and was unavailable for comment for at least 24 hours.

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The Bells Are Ringing For….

Mitch McConnell (R-KY) offered today to officiate at the nuptials of Sens. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and John McCain (R-AZ).

According to a spokesperson, the Kentucky senator believes that his two colleagues are getting along so well that they should consider joining together in holy matrimony.

cupid

The Matchmaker.

The Senate was expected to pass a resolution today giving its blessing to the union. However, a squabble erupted between the happy couple when they couldn’t come to an agreement about who should assume the role of the bride during the ceremony.

The Republican caucus issued a statement indicating that it would filibuster the ceremony if Sen. McCain was not granted the bride’s part during the nuptials.

The Schumer camp was said to be studying the latest proposal submitted by the Republicans. To date, a solution of the matter has eluded both parties.

A spokesman for McCain said the senator will reach across the aisle in an attempt to achieve a workable compromise. One such offer proposed a two ceremony event with the participants reversing roles during the exchange of vows.

The Democrats are now in caucus and reports from the meeting indicate that Harry Reid has the votes to override a Republican filibuster. He would, however, be forced to resort to the so-called “nuclear option” that requires only a simple majority for a resolution to pass.

mcsch

The Happy Couple.

Democrats opposed to the nuclear option are delaying a vote which, if a few remaining details can be ironed out, could come as early as tomorrow morning.

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breaking news

breaking news

A vote on the McCain/Schumer nuptials could be delayed further as a new dispute unexpectedly arose between the two parties. Republicans insisted that identical wedding gowns be worn by the blessed couple during the two ceremonies..

Sen. McCain chose a striking satin, organza strapless ensemble with a roched bodice, corset back and bustled skirt.

Schumer retorted that a gown of the type the GOP wanted made him look fat. He offered to wear a form fitted satin affair with a trailing lace train.

Representatives of both camps were scheduled to meet in a hastily scheduled conference committee to iron out differences.

However, Democrats were said to be outraged by leaks apparently emanating from Republican staff members. The leaks described in detail the types of gowns selected by the two brides before an agreement was reached. Schumer was depicted as being particularly distressed by the leaks.

The senator from New York raged that nothing is sacred in Washington anymore: “First the Manning leaks, then Snowden and now this tragic offense against national security.”

Word is expected shortly from conference committee members regarding a compromise deal that would allow the weddings to proceed.

A McConnell staffer said the committee was working under deadline pressure since the wedding had to take place as originally scheduled or the Kentucky senator would be forced to back out of his officiating commitment due to schedule conflicts.

If agreement could not be reached by tomorrow afternoon at the latest, the wedding would be delayed indefinitely.

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God Save The Senate.

Everybody else has given up.

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A Cake Of A Different Cheese.

Another Cheesecake Day has come and gone. Here’s a paean to those golden, olden days.

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Carry me back to the days of cheesecake
The gals showed enough, you knew they weren’t fake.
A little thigh here
Some shoulder there.
Carry me back for a short retake.
nat
 

Natalie Wood as Gypsy from the movie of the same name.

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Recall the movie of Gypsy Rose Lee
I will still watch it occasionally.
She came to town to perform once live.
I couldn’t get in, I was only five.
It was cheesecake for sure, she showed barely a knee.
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Only the sheriff’s admission was free.
He’d make certain not much you’d see.
No fig leafs over parts of glory.
That’s for another time and story.
They’d cover with raiments from an old silk tree.
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The scarves about would flow and float.
Showing glimpses of bodies on stages remote.
The drums would beat with a rhythm jive.
But alas I was only five.
I recall her photos in a furry coat.
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And when I grew cheesecake was lost.
You now see all for a modest cost.
Gone are the days of the simple tease.
When gals would gyrate and pleasantly please.
Those days are lost like old movies tossed.

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Well, it’s praise for the wrong cheesecake for sure. The day celebrates the edible variety.

cheese

Blueberry Cheesecake.

Thanks to MadKane for the alert.

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/category/

limerick-offs/

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Larry The Blunder Guy.

You have to wonder how men who are brilliant and who ride their brilliance to riches can be so naive and sometimes just plain dumb. Enter Larry “don’t rock the boat” Summers.

SUMMERS

Of all of the tragic blunders committed by this economics genius, among the worst is his underestimation of the depth and duration of the Great Recession.

Woefully, he advocated for a tragically anemic stimulus that proved to be inadequate to deal with the prolonged downturn. His blatant mistake, destined to fail and pointed out repeatedly by numerous economists, is largely responsible for the despair his policy inflicted on a once prosperous middle class.

The bad advice he brazenly offered to President Obama and his deregulation mania, an aberration that resulted in the collapse of Enron and eventually a near total destruction of the world’s economy, now qualify him to be Chairman of the Federal Reserve, at least according to the president.

Only in America.

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Do You Say it Right?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/31/

common-mispronunciations-video_n_3683218.html

Disirregardless of all pedanticism aside, the word is chawklate and not chockolate. Then there’s vanella, melk, arange, Long Giland, Noo Yawk, Joisey, 5th Avnya and Terdy Terd Street. And if you ain’t bin ta da Bronx you ain’t bin nowheres, pal.  

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