Archive for November, 2013

November 24, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 11/24/13

Gouge Granny Campaign.

Also known as Fix the Debt, the Gouge Granny Group (GGG) is at the forefront of a diabolical campaign to slash social safety net benefits for grandmas, grandpas, the poor and the sick.


A holiday gift to grandma from the Granny Gougers.

The devils in the GGG are multi millionaires and billionaires who are beside themselves with envy over the paid-for benefits American workers receive when they retire. The goals the Granny Gougers are seeking are an increase in the retirement age to 70 years and means testing for Medicare which could mean persons having incomes over the poverty level would receive a reduced benefit or be disqualified entirely.

So deep is their hatred for Social Security and Medicare that they formed the Gouge Granny Group solely as an organization to lobby Congress to cut benefits to American workers during retirement.

Here are the names of just a few of the Granny Gougers: Baron Alan von Simpson and Baron Erskine von Bowles, the co-founders. Prince Peter G.Peterson, the former Blackstone Group CEO and daddy bucks behind the GGGers. Also, Prince David Cote (Honeywell), Prince Larry Merlo (CVS), Prince Jeffrey Immelt (GE) and many, many more.

These Granny Gougers, so diabolically eager to cheat retired workers out a few measly bucks a month, will themselves retire with funds reaching into the high five and low six figures annually and could well receive more in one month than granny takes home in an entire year.

Smug, pompous and niggardly, these aristocrats deeply resent having to return a small portion of their astronomical wealth to the nation that gave them the largesse they are now reaping, much of which is the result of unconscionable tax breaks granted through corrupt government tax policy.

Their motto: Less For You; More For Me.

Is this what right wingers mean when they refer to “compassionate conservatism?”


A few members of the Gouge Granny Group.

CEOs Against Grandmas | Common Dreams


Jobs Slasher To Jobs Czar.

Gouge Granny Group member Prince Jeffrey Immelt, GE CEO, is arguably the greatest jobs exporter in American history. He has a lot of competition for the honor, no doubt, but he’s certainly up there at the top of the list.

Guess who’s the czar of Obama’s jobs thingy? If you guessed Prince Jeffrey and you’re an employee of GE you win a voucher to your pension benefits. Hold on to that voucher. It may be worth something someday when you retire, that is if Prince Jeffrey ever catches up the $32 billion GE owes to your pension fund.


Jeffrey Immelt, who gained super wealth status destroying the livelihoods of tens of thousands of working people, proves you don’t have to be a genius to get rich. Just cruel.  (Original photo by SarekOfVulcan).


Did I mention that Prince Jeffrey is a massive jobs exporter? The jobs czar has exported thousands upon thousands of GE jobs. So if you’re a GE employee and you just received a voucher, you might as well hang on to it. Just in case it’s ever worth something. Ya never know.

In any case, Prince Jeffrey may be, at this very moment, sneaking behind your back conspiring to move your job elsewhere and force you into retirement with an empty pension voucher all the while hatching plots to cut your Social Security benefit.

Which brings us back to Obama’s jobs thingy. I believe it’s called the Council on Jobs and Competitiveness. Prince Jeffrey the Czar is gonna create a whole lotta jobs as the head of the commission.


And just where might that be?

If you guessed Asia and you’re an employee of GE, you win a voucher to a pension plan that’s mega billion dollars in arrears.

By the way, the jobs part of Obama’s jobs thingy got a lot of rousing press attention. The “competitiveness” part is the typical Obama backhanded slap in the face to workers and that portion was largely ignored by whatchacall your mainstream media. Could “competitiveness” mean dollar an hour wages without benefits for American workers? If so, Prince Jeffrey the Czar is the right man for the job.


More Software Issues.

In heaven the gates had a line.
A woman waiting started to whine.
I’ve been good all my life.
Don’t deserve all this strife.”
Said St. Pete, “We do it online.”
In heaven the software is slow.
God contracted a firm far below.
He accepted the blame
For what was a shame.
The free market has lost all its glow.


You’re not gonna believe this, but it’s absolutely true. According to a heavenly source who spoke under conditions of anonymity, God contracted with a software firm to provide a website that would quickly process entrants through the Pearly Gates. After the rollout, the lines became so long God had to start feeding the starving souls. Luckily, He has this guy who can multiply loaves and fishes.

As you might have guessed by now, God foolishly trusted the same firm that Obama used to develop the site for his health care thingy. And He is one pissed off deity.

The execs at the troubled firm are said to be really scared about their celestial fiasco. It’s OK to screw a president of the United States, said one. He’s just another sap to take advantage of. But fucking around with God!!! Holy shit!!!


God was pissed to the rafter
About his new website drafter
When they get up to Me
He said righteously
From heaven there’ll be no laughter.”

When God Gets Pissed, Run For Cover by Bonifacio de Pitati. Actually, God The Father Over the Piazza San Marco by Pitati (1487-1553).

In line was a gal from New Bern
Who waited so long for her turn
That she grew a mustache
Then said with panache
The longer I wait the less I will burn.”
The gal from New Bern heard the chime.
It was time to face up to her crime.
You’ve been a bad girl,” said St. Pete.
On your husband you often did cheat.”
But come up and see me some time.


Texas School Board Set To Drop 2 Rs.

The Texas Board of Education plans to drop Algebra II as a requirement for high school graduation.

A spokesman for the board said: “If it ain’t in The Bible don’t nobody in these here parts give a damn?”

A member of the board also noted that Jesus couldn’t read and write and that plans are being drawn up to eliminate those two Rs from the school curriculum. Math is being retained, however, because it is widely believed that Jesus could count – especially the donations his movement received from the poor.

Also under consideration was the inclusion of Aramaic, the language that Jesus spoke, as a requirement for graduation.


(Don’t be too shocked, but the Lord did accept donations. The need for charity to pursue his mission is mentioned in The Bible and it is often used as an excuse by TV preachers to justify collections from the needy. The plea for bucks is accompanied by the promise that the more you donate, the faster you’ll receive the Lord’s reward-usually a monetary gift and you get it in this life.  Get it?).

Texas Board Of Ed Votes To Drop Algebra II Mandate


Detonation Politics; Alibi Politics.

Well, Harry finally did it. Reid, that is. He, as you may, know is the Senate Majority Leader and what he finally did was to trigger the “nuclear option” and end the filibuster in that once illustrious and now lugubrious legislative body.

Well, he didn’t really end the filibuster. He just discontinued the exploitative practice for presidential nominees for the executive and judicial branches. Not for the Supreme Court, though. Or for any legislation. Senators can still abuse that anti-democratic and extra-constitutional rule by invoking it to forestall all legislation and high court nominees that come before that enfeebled body.

But at least it’s a start. And it’s worth considering that Reid was forced to take the action largely due to the intransigence of Republicans and the woeful behavior of Minority Leader Mitch McConnell who repeatedly reneged on agreements with Reid to limit the use of obstructive tactics against presidential nominees.


The bedeviled McConnell took a hit to the chin and one to the nose when Harry Reid dropped a bomb. The Minority Leader earned the snub by his unparallelled display of duplicity welshing repeatedly on agreements with Reid.

The filibuster was introduced into Senate affairs as a means of protecting the rights of the minority. It was intended to be used only in the direst of circumstances. As practiced by the GOP, however, the filibuster was employed routinely and became an obstructive tactic that quickly morphed into rule by the minority.

Democrats opposed the rule change largely because on many issues they were able to use the filibuster umbrella for cover and ofter hid under its shadow.

For example, secure in the knowledge that progressive legislation would die when trapped by the GOP blockade, Democrats could feign support for laws their liberal base embraced.

President Obama himself often used Republican obstruction as an excuse for backing away from his supporters by simply invoking the lame excuse that a policy could not pass the legislative process.

The president has now lost his alibi for not placing in nomination the candidates supported by the liberals still in the Democratic family.


I Told You So.

Yes, Obamacare is a swamp. The only swamp worse is the swamp we have been living with for most of our lives.

Some say we should not be gloating over the Obama Obamacare predicament. But we should all be gloating precisely for and because of the president’s public option double cross. Obama could have had single payer; it was within his grasp. But he spurned it. He has no one to blame for his mess but himself.

In the past, we have had precious little to gloat over given the president’s cavalier behavior. If Obamacare was his only misguided policy, the misstep might be forgivable.

But, given his campaign populism, he has had too many policy flip-flops to elicit sympathy at this point.

To name just a few of the prominent ones,

  • His administration is negotiating rigged trade deals in deep secrecy.
  • He turned his back of the suffering of foreclosed homeowners.
  • He gave the backhand to labor unions by refusing to support the Wisconsin protesters.
  • He abandoned the unemployed when he embraced austerity.
  • He stubbornly supports cuts to the safety net in exchange for a perverse “grand bargain.”

Given his Wall Street anointed policies, could there be any doubt that this president is firmly ensconced among the 1 % and perhaps within a few years will join the elite one tenth. He’s certainly on the path to untold wealth.

Single-Payer Advocates: It Hurts To Say I Told You So

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November 17, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 11/17/13

Top Secret Trade Deal WikiLeaked: It Is What We Expected | Money & Politics, Perspectives, What Matters Today |

The Obama-Clinton Axis of Betrayal.

In his Labor Day speech, President Obama reminded us that the middle class has been the victim of a conspiracy.  Left unsaid is the fact the Obama’s adamant advocacy of the Trans Pacific Partnership threatens to drive the final nail into the coffin he and other presidents, most notably pseudo-Democrat Bill Clinton, have constructed for the laying to rest of working class of America.

Clinton and Obama have thumbed their noses at the men and women who voted them into the highest office in the land. And both have betrayed the honor bestowed upon them by their supporters.

NAFTA, TPP, deregulation, proposed cuts to Social Security and Medicare and more leave a legacy of betrayal for both of these right wing conservatives who call themselves Democrats.

Together Obama and Clinton have forged within the Democratic Party an Axis of Betrayal, a group that has renounced the bequest of the great liberal presidents of the Party.

Top Secret Trade Deal WikiLeaked: It Is What We Expected | Money & Politics, Perspectives, What Matters Today |


 Timothy Geithner, Former Treasury Secretary, To Join Warburg Pincus

Sign over the Treasure Department entrance: You Scratch My Back, I’ll Scratch Yours.”

Ah, Timothy me boy, yer father would be proud of ye. And never ye mind what brought ye to this exalted station in life. Besides, what’s a little cheatin’ among friends now and again. Never ye mind, me boy, never ye mind.  

There was a time when collusion between government and private industry wasn’t so blatantly open.

Today the ruling class feels entitled to display its contempt for democratic values. It does so with aristocratic arrogance.

Timothy Geithner, Former Treasury Secretary, To Join Warburg Pincus 


Biggest Tax Break In U.S. History May Not Be Enough For Boeing

Boeing attempts to trash the labor unions and tens of thousands of loyal, hardworking, middle class Americans as the rich job takers ply yet another of their nasty anti-worker capers.

Next stop on the Boeing itinerary: China. Give it ten years.

The new employees in the South Carolina facility had better begin their retraining programs immediately.

Biggest Tax Break In U.S. History May Not Be Enough For Boeing 



American citizens at a Puerto Rican Day parade.


I’m Mitt Romney and I don’t need “those people.” Well, maybe once every four years.

Mitt Romney: My Campaign Fell Short In Attracting Minority Voters


House Democrats Refuse To Revolt Over Obamacare


The lovely and semi-talented former Speaker of the House and belated member of the Obama-Clinton Axis of Betrayal, Nancy Pelosi managed to keep her caucus in line.

Although I’m a liberal and now a recovering Democrat, I’m no fan of Obamacare or the president. In fact, Obama lost me way back when he reneged on the promise of a public option thereby destroying the Speakership of Nancy Pelosi when details of his backroom wheeling and dealing were revealed.  His shenanigans resulted in a crushing defeat for the Party in the 2010 elections.

With that option within his grasp, he turned his back, so he has no one to blame but himself for the mess he finds himself in.

But I am a bit mystified as to why no one is blaming a private, “free market”, profit making company for the abject failure of its software.

Could politics possibly be the source of the criticism of the president’s “signature” program?

Once again, the “free market” has failed miserably. To enumerate the notorious failures you only have to look at defense contractors. Their programs with cost overruns and delayed deliveries are tantamount to malfeasance. Yet, somehow, we find a way to blame government for defense industry boondoggles.

By the way, does anyone recall a defense secretary being fired because of a private industry fiasco?

House Democrats Refuse To Revolt Over Obamacare


 JPMorgan Chase Reaches $4.5 Billion Settlement Over Housing Collapse

Mr. Dimon was terribly upset at the $4.5 billion settlement. The announcement caused him to be late for a luncheon at the country club.

Things are getting so bad in this country, an honest man can’t cheat anymore.  (Original photo: World Economic Forum FlickrThe Global Financial Context: James Dimon).

JPMorgan Chase Reaches $4.5 Billion Settlement Over Housing Collapse


Holiday Declared!

The Sardo Institute of Superfluous Holidays located in Pasta Fagioli, Italy has proclaimed Sunday November 17, 2013 World Pucker Day.

Dedicated to the proposition that every pucker should have a day, The Sardo Institute is observing the celebration by inviting Poet Laureate Emeritus Summa Cumma Louder Mangiapasta Bacciagalupe to join the festivities and regale the honorees with a poem. Here is the professor’s contribution to World Pucker Day.

There once was a gal with a pucker.
Who turned out to be quite a sucker
For a guy with a line
And a bottle of wine.
He would take her back home and then tucker.

Yes take her back home and tucker.
With her face in a frozen pucker.
He took off her clothes
But God only knows
He tried but he couldn’t quite pluck ‘er

The gal with the pucker named Tucker
Has a mom whose an over-road trucker.
The mother would drive
Thru the night sakes alive
Eating PB with jelly by Smucker.

So mom was a real Mother Tucker
Who from men she sought nightly succor.
She’d take them to bed
Not a one did she wed.
No man Mother Tucker would let buck ‘er.
November 10, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 11/10/13

Hunger Builds Character.

Cafeteria workers in a Texas school threw a kid’s breakfast in the garbage because his food account was thirty cents in arrears. And now liberals are criticizing the workers who tossed the kid’s food because servers’ actions sent the 12-year old to class hungry.


The rich building character? Public assistance helped to reduce the rabid nature of Depression era poverty in the United States. A thought to ponder: Is the woman pictured responsible for the dire circumstances in which she and her children are forced to live? Or are they victims of a savage form of capitalism over which they have no control? Could extreme income inequality make the scene pictured above a commonplace in American culture? 

Hey, you can’t pay, you don’t eat, right? Besides, hunger builds character. That’s the American way.

The cafeteria workers behaved in a manner that prevents moral hazard from becoming a threat to our society. If they had given the kid breakfast, before you know it, he’d want to eat when he owed sixty cents. Some people will never learn.


Oh, waiter, get over here. I’ll take a 12 oz. lobster tail and an 8 oz. filet du boeuf, rare and thick. Be sure it’s thick. A Waldorf salad before the dinner. And my usual of Dom Perignon 2003. And be quick about it. I don’t have all day.”


And pick out the walnuts. I don’t want any walnuts!!!   (Original Phote:  World Economic ForumFlickrThe Global Financial Context: James Dimon).

“Those people will never learn.”

Now drink up, mon cherie. Remember we’re celebrating. My lawyer called earlier and said I just beat another rap. I pay a billion in tax deductible fines, with shareholder money of course, admit to no wrongdoing and I walk free and clear. Again.

“Where is our Waldorf!!! That waiter just lost his tip. Those people will never learn.”


Sarah and Ted. Ted and Sarah.

Ted and Sarah have been paling around a lot lately. Getting downright chummy actually. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Surely there’s no hanky panky going on. After all, they are conservatives. Sarah and Ted. Ted and Sarah. A perfect Tea Party couple.

Hello. NSA. Can you clue us in on this relationship?


Speaking Of NSA.

Speaking of NSA, the snooper guys have developed a method for conducting long distance prostate exams. According to an anonymous source, the folks who work in the dungeons located at (redacted) can shove a remotely guided electronic beam up the ass of any world leader at a moments notice.  The beam is said to relay medical information as well as intelligence data back to NSA headquarters in (redacted).

So if I were French King Francois Gerard Georges Nicolas Hollande XIV, I wouldn’t sweat the cell phone tap.

By the way, Francois, you’re in good health.


Francois Hollande, President of France, a man with a bug up his ass, courtesy NSA. (Orig. photo by Kyro).


Putzie Winner Proclaimed.

Pasta Fagioli, Italy.


Here’s is an exclusive report filed moments ago by UPW’s Super Senior International Affairs Correspondent Marcy Popindick. The Nobella Prize Committee declared multimillionaire televangelist Pat Robertson the winner of the MVP award in bigotry.

The award goes to Robertson because he really, really, really doesn’t like gay people or gay marriage or the entire LGBT freedom movement. When asked how he felt about gays, Robertson replied, “Yuckie.”

According to notorious gay hater Niall Ferguson, the TV preacher’s statement will go down in the history of Letters for its pithiness and brilliance in summarizing the feelings of bigots the world over.

Robertson is also noted for wanting to place a vomit button on his Facebook page to ward off the bad spirits proclaiming gay equality in marriage and employment.

In view of Robertson’s consistent expressions of antipathy toward gays, the Nobella Committee is proud to present the televangelist with the Most Valuable Putz award.


Winners of The Most Valuable Putz Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize.

These exceptional individuals also receive a statuette named the Pubar which is engraved with the words “Putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie, the coveted statuette is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.

The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.

From the UPW Newsroom reporting from Pasta Fagioli, Italy. Unreliable Press Worldwide: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news the world over.  

Pat Robertson Named ‘Bigot Of The Year’ At Stonewall Awards


Ode To A Jester.

There once was a jester named Lester
Who wanted a stringent sequester.
The name of the game
For Lester was fame.
Which he earned as he spoke till he’d fester.
The jester may well be named Cruz.
In the Senate he lit up a fuse.
His name he’d defame
But to him all the same.
He showed himself hardly a muse.

Lester the Jester lit the fuse of Ted Cruz


He conducted a long filibuster.
The Tea Party ’round him would cluster.
With the toss of the dice.
He could name a high price.
As votes from the right he could muster.


A Day To Remember.

The Sardo Institute of Superfluous Holidays located in Pasta Fagioli, Italy has proclaimed Sunday November 10, 2013 World Schmuck Day.

Dedicated to the proposition that every schmuck should have his day, The Sardo Institute is celebrating by inviting Poet Laureate Emeritus Summa Cumma Louder Mangiapasta Bacciagalupe to join the festivities and regale the honorees with a poem. Here is the professor’s contribution to World Schmuck Day.

There once was a schmuck had a duck.
The duck wouldn’t quack it would cluck.
He went to a vet
Who wanted to get
The duck with the schmuck to upchuck.
In his throat the duck got muck stuck.
It was simply a case of bad luck.
He ate from a pile
Then after awhile
The duck with the cluck ran amok.
Because the poor thing wouldn’t quack.
The schmuck locked the duck in a shack.
When free of his tethers
The duck pulled out his feathers.
And was ready to stew for a snack.
The duck made a wonderful stew.
The schmuck ate it in haste with a brew.
Infected with staph
The duck had the last laugh
When the schmuck with the duck ate the stew he up threw.
The schmuck with the duck still had no clue
And the day that they met he soon came to rue.
For the duck was a mean and heartless gift.
From a woman who was uncontrollably miffed.
It came from his ex who’d turned into a shrew.

The moral of the story:  Once a schmuck, always a schmuck.

November 3, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 11/03/13

Resurrecting the GOP.

According to an anonymous White House source, President Obama has agreed to take steps to once against save the Republican Party from self-destructing.


Distorting the politics of the Democratic Party, these three losers have renounced the legacy of one of its greatest presidents, with positions destined to crush the Party in upcoming elections.

The president secretly informed Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and House Speaker John Boehner that he will continue to push for cuts in Social Security and Medicare while permitting the GOP to campaign during the 2014 election cycle opposing the reductions.

That should get folks voting for Republicans.

The president reasons, according to the source, that as Democrats continue to fight for social safety net cuts while Republicans reject them, the party of Lincoln is sure to pummel their Democratic counterparts in 2014.

These actions by Obama and his Donkey party candidates will go a long way to returning the opposition to respectability.


Reaganizing The Democratic Party.

President Obama intends to continue his policy of Reaganizing the party of FDR.

The president will insist on cuts to the social safety net and restore the White House practice of strong-arming reluctant Democrats to support his reactionary policies.

The president has long been an admirer of the Republican Party mascot and will double down on his efforts to forge a new Democratic Party in the image of the iconic former president.

nancy and ron

Nancy and Ronald Reagan, together they changed the course of history by setting the middle class of a once great nation on a downward spiral from which it may never recover.

When the president finally completes the remaking of the party he claims to represent, he envisions an Obama-Clinton axis dominating Democratic policy-making for generations to come. The make over will erase once and for all the damage done to the American social fabric by the likes of FDR, Truman, Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson.

If the president can enact the cuts to Social Security and Medicare before the 2014 election, his party should suffer a second crushing defeat under his leadership and open the door to the Reaganization of the party he has sought since his 2008 victory.


Bachmann: “I’m a Loser.”

We all know by now that Michelle Bachmann is a little slow on the uptake. But who knew it would take so long for her to realize it.

The representative acknowledged her lowly status after garnering a mere five percent in the Iowa caucuses after winning the straw poll. So according to the authors of Double Down, a recollection of the election of 2012, Bachmann, referrring to dismal polling numbers, admitted “I’m a loser.”


After representing her district since 2007, Bachmann announced she is now dropping out of politics. It’s sad to see her go in a way. It was so much fun making fun of her.

Not to worry though. One thing the Republican Party does to distinction is furnish candidates to make fun of.

You can probably think of a dozen a minute. Ready. Set. Go.


Shush. Not A Word To Anyone.

The Obama Administration is trying desperately to keep the wraps on the Trans Pacific Partnership. It’s a secret deeper than NSA spying on Angela Merkel.

Well, the Merkel debacle isn’t a secret anymore thanks to leaks.

But wait. The TPP isn’t a secret anymore either, again thanks to leaks.

What would America do without leaks? They’re getting to be the only path to achieving transparency in government, which by the way was one of the many ditched campaign promises of Barack Obama.

Not leaks; transparency in government.

Our president seems to be getting really pissed off about the leaks. They can ruin his whole day, to say nothing about the legacy of his administration.

In addition to the noxious NSA leaks, there are the leaks pertaining to the toxic TPP, which the Obama Administration is calling a trade agreement but which is really a rigged covenant that guarantees a Fascist-like bond between government and corporations.

No wonder Obama wants to keep it a secret. The TPP grants to corporations the right to overturn the laws of the land, every land, that is, that ensnares itself in this right wing driven flim flam.

And just when you thought you’ve heard the worst, it gets worse.

poverty wealth

The rich own 90% of everything and still that isn’t enough. TPP will get them the rest. (Poverty And Wealth – painting by William Powell Frith, 1888).

The TPP is so scam ridden that Obama is attempting to side step the Constitutional authority of Congress by seeking to “fast track” approval. Never mind the two thirds approval of treaties once required by the Senate. That authority has already been dodged by referring to trade agreements as “agreements” rather than treaties as they were once called. Fast Track limits Senate authority to an up or down majority vote without discussion or amendment.

Obama seems driven to prove the Foxy Newsers wrong when they insist he is a socialist or a communist.

If TPP becomes law Obama will show them exactly where he’s coming from. He’s a Fascist – a mirror image of Foxy favorite, George W. Bush.

Pretty sneaky of O, don’t you think.


Payola Payback.

The banks have just received from Congress a tidy return on their investment.

Here’s a partial list of the banks’ investments.

John Boehner (R-OH) – $196,000

Jim Hines (D-CT) – $ 66,000

Randy Hultgren (R-IL) – $136,000

Here’s the payback. Banks can continue to issue their junk Collateralized Debt Obligations through branches insured by federal deposit insurance.

The CDOs – accumulations of consumer debt into a single investment vehicle – were the proximate cause of the 2008 economic blowout. As then, the risky gambling vehicles will continue to receive taxpayer support because of an amendment to the Dodd-Frank regulatory legislation repealing the provision forbidding taxpayer funded insurance. Who wrote the repeal, who else, the banks of course and that insures the gambling with government funds.

Does Barney Frank, former representative and chair of the House finance committee approve of the recent change? Yes, he does, said Rep. Carol Maloney (D-NY). No, he doesn’t, said Barney Frank, who issued a statement saying the repeal was a mistake.

The entire affair proves once again that for a small consideration, members of Congress will bend over to do your bidding.


Day of Celebration Declared.

The Sardo Institute of Superfluous Holidays has named this day, November 4, 2013 as Don’t Fumble When You’re Trying To Tumble Day.

The day has a long history going back to prehistoric times and every puberty enshrouded young man and woman who has experienced the foibles foisted upon them by the rollicking days of youth can recall those first clumsy attempts at love forever true.

Here are a few limerick paeans to those preposterous pubescent days of yore.

There once was a guy who’d struggle
With the clasp of a bra he’d juggle
He struggled to grasp
The ends of the clasp
Till finally he said “let’s just snuggle.”
There once was a guy who would tumble
In the sack with a gal but he’d fumble
When her legs she would splay
He went quickly astray
What a bumbling dumb fool,” she would mumble.
There once was a gal named Mable,
Told a story that wasn’t a fable.
As she started to dance
She’d take off her pants
And get laid on the kitchen table.
There once was a gal named Jenny,
Who kissed all the guys for a penny.
When her lips they got sore
She would kiss them no more
But never did she know how many.