The DC Folly Trolley – 11/03/13

Resurrecting the GOP.

According to an anonymous White House source, President Obama has agreed to take steps to once against save the Republican Party from self-destructing.

bdp

Distorting the politics of the Democratic Party, these three losers have renounced the legacy of one of its greatest presidents, with positions destined to crush the Party in upcoming elections.

The president secretly informed Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and House Speaker John Boehner that he will continue to push for cuts in Social Security and Medicare while permitting the GOP to campaign during the 2014 election cycle opposing the reductions.

That should get folks voting for Republicans.

The president reasons, according to the source, that as Democrats continue to fight for social safety net cuts while Republicans reject them, the party of Lincoln is sure to pummel their Democratic counterparts in 2014.

These actions by Obama and his Donkey party candidates will go a long way to returning the opposition to respectability.

***

Reaganizing The Democratic Party.

President Obama intends to continue his policy of Reaganizing the party of FDR.

The president will insist on cuts to the social safety net and restore the White House practice of strong-arming reluctant Democrats to support his reactionary policies.

The president has long been an admirer of the Republican Party mascot and will double down on his efforts to forge a new Democratic Party in the image of the iconic former president.

nancy and ron

Nancy and Ronald Reagan, together they changed the course of history by setting the middle class of a once great nation on a downward spiral from which it may never recover.

When the president finally completes the remaking of the party he claims to represent, he envisions an Obama-Clinton axis dominating Democratic policy-making for generations to come. The make over will erase once and for all the damage done to the American social fabric by the likes of FDR, Truman, Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson.

If the president can enact the cuts to Social Security and Medicare before the 2014 election, his party should suffer a second crushing defeat under his leadership and open the door to the Reaganization of the party he has sought since his 2008 victory.

***

Bachmann: “I’m a Loser.”

We all know by now that Michelle Bachmann is a little slow on the uptake. But who knew it would take so long for her to realize it.

The representative acknowledged her lowly status after garnering a mere five percent in the Iowa caucuses after winning the straw poll. So according to the authors of Double Down, a recollection of the election of 2012, Bachmann, referrring to dismal polling numbers, admitted “I’m a loser.”

bach

After representing her district since 2007, Bachmann announced she is now dropping out of politics. It’s sad to see her go in a way. It was so much fun making fun of her.

Not to worry though. One thing the Republican Party does to distinction is furnish candidates to make fun of.

You can probably think of a dozen a minute. Ready. Set. Go.

***

Shush. Not A Word To Anyone.

The Obama Administration is trying desperately to keep the wraps on the Trans Pacific Partnership. It’s a secret deeper than NSA spying on Angela Merkel.

Well, the Merkel debacle isn’t a secret anymore thanks to leaks.

But wait. The TPP isn’t a secret anymore either, again thanks to leaks.

What would America do without leaks? They’re getting to be the only path to achieving transparency in government, which by the way was one of the many ditched campaign promises of Barack Obama.

Not leaks; transparency in government.

Our president seems to be getting really pissed off about the leaks. They can ruin his whole day, to say nothing about the legacy of his administration.

In addition to the noxious NSA leaks, there are the leaks pertaining to the toxic TPP, which the Obama Administration is calling a trade agreement but which is really a rigged covenant that guarantees a Fascist-like bond between government and corporations.

No wonder Obama wants to keep it a secret. The TPP grants to corporations the right to overturn the laws of the land, every land, that is, that ensnares itself in this right wing driven flim flam.

And just when you thought you’ve heard the worst, it gets worse.

poverty wealth

The rich own 90% of everything and still that isn’t enough. TPP will get them the rest. (Poverty And Wealth – painting by William Powell Frith, 1888).

The TPP is so scam ridden that Obama is attempting to side step the Constitutional authority of Congress by seeking to “fast track” approval. Never mind the two thirds approval of treaties once required by the Senate. That authority has already been dodged by referring to trade agreements as “agreements” rather than treaties as they were once called. Fast Track limits Senate authority to an up or down majority vote without discussion or amendment.

Obama seems driven to prove the Foxy Newsers wrong when they insist he is a socialist or a communist.

If TPP becomes law Obama will show them exactly where he’s coming from. He’s a Fascist – a mirror image of Foxy favorite, George W. Bush.

Pretty sneaky of O, don’t you think.

***

Payola Payback.

The banks have just received from Congress a tidy return on their investment.

Here’s a partial list of the banks’ investments.

John Boehner (R-OH) – $196,000

Jim Hines (D-CT) – $ 66,000

Randy Hultgren (R-IL) – $136,000

Here’s the payback. Banks can continue to issue their junk Collateralized Debt Obligations through branches insured by federal deposit insurance.

The CDOs – accumulations of consumer debt into a single investment vehicle – were the proximate cause of the 2008 economic blowout. As then, the risky gambling vehicles will continue to receive taxpayer support because of an amendment to the Dodd-Frank regulatory legislation repealing the provision forbidding taxpayer funded insurance. Who wrote the repeal, who else, the banks of course and that insures the gambling with government funds.

Does Barney Frank, former representative and chair of the House finance committee approve of the recent change? Yes, he does, said Rep. Carol Maloney (D-NY). No, he doesn’t, said Barney Frank, who issued a statement saying the repeal was a mistake.

The entire affair proves once again that for a small consideration, members of Congress will bend over to do your bidding.

***

Day of Celebration Declared.

The Sardo Institute of Superfluous Holidays has named this day, November 4, 2013 as Don’t Fumble When You’re Trying To Tumble Day.

The day has a long history going back to prehistoric times and every puberty enshrouded young man and woman who has experienced the foibles foisted upon them by the rollicking days of youth can recall those first clumsy attempts at love forever true.

Here are a few limerick paeans to those preposterous pubescent days of yore.

.
There once was a guy who’d struggle
With the clasp of a bra he’d juggle
He struggled to grasp
The ends of the clasp
Till finally he said “let’s just snuggle.”
.
There once was a guy who would tumble
In the sack with a gal but he’d fumble
When her legs she would splay
He went quickly astray
What a bumbling dumb fool,” she would mumble.
.
There once was a gal named Mable,
Told a story that wasn’t a fable.
As she started to dance
She’d take off her pants
And get laid on the kitchen table.
.
There once was a gal named Jenny,
Who kissed all the guys for a penny.
When her lips they got sore
She would kiss them no more
But never did she know how many.
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