A Bear For Dinner.
As governor of Alaska, former defeated GOP VP candidate Sarah Palin was set to pardon some turkeys at Thanksgiving when an unidentified aide whispered in her ear that all turkeys were Democrats. She discontinued the practice immediately because she never knowingly pardoned a member of the opposing party.
When she was informed that all Republican politicians are turkeys Palin peremptorily pardoned all fowl. She then went into the wilds, shot an Alaskan brown bear, stuffed it and served it for Thanksgiving dinner.
Sarah and the bear dissing Piers Morgan. (From Facebook).
A Sick Country.
“If we started in 1960 and we said that as productivity goes up…then the minimum wage is going to go up the same, the minimum wage today would be about $22 an hour. With the minimum of $7.25 an hour, what happened to the other$14. It certainly didn’t go to the workers.” Sen. Elizabeth Warren.
There is a sickness upon the land. It is called greed and corruption.
The 11th month of the year is a time when you can stop shaving for thirty days. Yes, it’s really OK. And not just for men.
Many people think shaving is a burden borne only by men since most scrape their faces with sharp stainless steel blades every morning.
The ritual is however practiced by women who routinely shave several of their body parts while bathing or in the shower.
So if they participate in the no shave month they will grow hair in places that have not seen it in years and also take a brief respite from the daily chore.
Alas, with the arrival of December comes not only the eager anticipation of Santa and his eight tiny reindeer, but also the return to that noisome task of shaving every day.
In keeping with the tradition of “taking it off” in the month known for shopping frenzy, the Sardo Institute has declared December World Shave Month.
In honor of the occasion, Professor Mangiapasta Bacciagalupe, Poet Laureate Emeritus Summa Cumma Louder, will deliver an ode to mark the festivities.
Below is a transcript of the Professor’s contribution:
(Warning: Persons offended by sexually explicit material should skip the following entry. You must be over the age of 18 to continue reading the post. That’s because it gets really, really dirty).A woman did it on a dare. Shaved off all her pubic hair. Here’s a story not oft’ told. Soon she caught an awful cold. ‘Cause now it gets real chilly there. . If you think this story dumb ‘Bout the gal shaved ‘neath her bum. It’s true I say in total sum. For now she’ll sneeze instead of cum. . ‘Cause ‘tween her legs strange noise emits Whenever atop a man she sits. “What was that,” the guys would shout. “Something’s odd down there no doubt.” . “I shaved it off because it pleases.” “Now poor thing it always sneezes.” Beware, true words we shall not flout. As stranger things soon came about. . Her shaved bottom had no match.. The cold it caught all could catch. The guys she slept with were made fools. For all a cold had gripped their tools Which sneezed and sneezed while in her snatch. . This story’s true, you can believe. It’s not my purpose to deceive. So now you know you must beware That when you shave your pubic hair You cannot know what you’ll receive. . So now please take this sound advice. Keep it trim and looking nice. For if you shave it smooth as ice, You then must pay a frightful price. . A cold down there can really bite. You’ll have to hide, stay out of site. So if your tempted, best think twice. A little hair can well entice. . A cold no drug can ever cure. A cold down there you must endure. So don’t expose it to a breeze That’s when it will likely sneeze. So stay you must behind closed door. . When at last you do come out Do not shake it all about. For friends will no doubt quickly shun you. They’ll fear a cold be catching from you. And think of you an awful lout.
Three in One, sculpture by Paul Richer (1849-1933). Do they or don’t they? Kinda looks like they do.
Well, you can’t say I didn’t warn you.
He’s scared. He’s real scared. In fact, he running scared.
The Tea Party is backing a candidate in the Republican race for the Senate and they’re are going after Mitch McConnell.
You would think the Tea Party money bags would be satisfied with McConnell’s performance. After all, he’s the man most responsible for the blockade of that one august body. He’s the man who make of it a laughingstock. He may well be the most extremist GOP leader in the Senate’s history.
Damn, those suckers are squeezin’ hard.
Yet the Tea Party is out to get him and McConnell is running scared.
Mitch will win the primary. And more than likely retain his Senate seat. But the challenge is a warning to all others: Do what the big money tells you to do or else.
Sarah Palin: Career Change.
Sarah Palin has changed careers from politician telling jokes to comedian telling politician jokes.
In an interview on Today, the perennial TV talk show guest described her version of an alternative to Obamacare.
Here is what Lady Sarah had to say:
“The plan is to allow those things that had been proposed over many years to reform a health-care system in America that certainly does need more help so that there’s more competition, there’s less tort reform threat, there’s less trajectory of the cost increases, and those plans have been proposed over and over again.”
Sounds to me like she’s describing the right wing Heritage Foundation’s idea of a health care plan, otherwise better known as Obamacare.
She then babbled:
And what thwarts those plans? It’s the far left. It’s President Obama and his supporters who will not allow the Republicans to usher in free market, patient-centered, doctor-patient relationship links to reform health care.”
Now that’s a statement straight from Planet Palin, an orb known to exist in the farthest reaches of the universe. And that’s really “out ‘dere.”
Hello, Sarah? Sarah, are you there? Come in Sarah.
Houston, we have a problem. Sarah Palin is lost in space.
Something’s Wrong with Pope Francis.
There must be something wrong with Pope Francis. He’s acting like a Christian. Not even popes can be accused of taking such an out of character step as Francis just did.
In his first major publication, the Holy Father decried what is more commonly called vulture capitalism, that is, the unfettered brand that cruelly places profit, profit and more profit ahead of the welfare of mankind.
A headline in The Guardian read: “Pope Francis understands economics better than most politicians.”
That statement of course is exactly wrong about politicians. They understand. They know all too well. The Pope is merely speaking the truth. As for politicians, they’re too involved in the payola chase to admit that the Pontiff is speaking truth to power.
And the right wing is already up in arms. The conservative Accuracy in Media director Cliff Kincaid has criticized the Pontiff for releasing Evangilii Godium or Joy of the Gospel, a document in which the Pope called trickle-down economics “a naive theory that has never been confirmed by the facts.”
Unfairly and by inference, Kincaid tainted the Pope’s writing by associating it with Marxism. Nothing really new in that attack though. The right has always made it a point to call a “communist” anyone who disagrees with their way of life.
To the right wing, he’s a Marxist; for the rest of us, a populist Christian.
Francis’ statement however is absolutely true.
The term “trickle-down economics” is nothing more than a right wing propaganda contrivance intended to convince the working class that the upward distribution of wealth benefits all who work for a living. That of course is nonsense.
The same can be said of the phrase “a rising tide lifts all boats.” To benefit from a rising tide, you first need a boat. For a rising tide can drown all who are left to die on the shoals of economic life.
The Pontiff’s advocacy of economic justice is not a call to Marxism despite the fact that right wing propagandists are hard at work demeaning the Pontiffs statement as influenced by the nineteenth economic philosopher.
The new world economic order that Kincaid accuses Francis of advocating for is not the order that is already well established on this woe begotten planet
The new reality that infests the global economy is one that the conservative spokesperson turns a blind eye to. Right wing corporate pirates and their accessories to the crime have gone to great lengths to make the world economy a source of unimaginable wealth for themselves and one of misery, and even death, for billions of human beings.
“Somebody got to the Pope,” writes Muslim scholar Reza Aslan. “It was Jesus. Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin would call Jesus a Marxist.”
If the Pope does not desist from his message of economic justice, the titans of vulture capitalism will be out to get him and by any means necessary. First will come the typical right wing propaganda barrage. Next who knows. Possibly an attempted assassination, first as a warning shot, and then the real thing.
No reasonable person can doubt that the monsters on Wall Street and the masterminds of global corporations will let anything or anyone stand in their way.
After all, they’ve already got the president of the United States in their back pocket.
Plans After The White House.
What to do? What to do? ‘Tis a puzzlement.
What does a president do after leaving the White House besides getting filthy rich?
Apparently one of the First Daughters will have a say in the matter.
Will Sasha choose to stay in DC or move back to Chicago? Stay tuned. The gaggle of media reporters is hot on the story.
The leader of the pack: Obama, Obama, Obama and Obama, LLP.
Either way, as a former prez, Obama can rent offices on K Street and establish a lobbying firm and call it Obama and Obama as he teams up with the First Lady.
Both would make superlative lobbyists-to say nothing of millions of bucks-appealing to Democratic Congressional critters to pass legislation favorable to Republican clients.
Later, as the daughters graduate from law school, the firm would change its name to Obama, Obama and Obama; then to Obama, Obama, Obama and Obama.
Wait till the grand kids start joining the firm.
Only in America.
- Sarah Palin: “Thanksgiving is for Real Americans Not Indians” (freewoodpost.com)
- PHOTO CONTEST: No Shave November (amarillo.com)
- Never Forget: Sarah Palin’s Turkey Slaughter Interview (gawker.com)
- No-Shave November/Movember (sociallyawkwardfashionista.wordpress.com)