The DC Folly Trolley – 02/09/14

Cure For Nation’s Ills Discovered.

breaking

President Barack Obama has discovered a cure for his country’s problems: Make a speech, hold a media event and leave the rest up to business leaders.

On the Friday after Obama’s tepid State of the Union Speech — a speech in which he pledged his concern for the long-term unemployed and low-wage workers — the Administration brought members of the corporate and financial elite to the White House to discuss strategies for addressing the plight of the long-term unemployed.  Not surprisingly since this meeting was nothing more than one of many events planned as part of the Democrats’ media strategy to better position the party for the mid-term elections, the only thing that emerged from this gathering was photo-ops and diversionary rhetoric.* 

Wow! Why didn’t he think of that before?

Anything else?

Nope.

Oh, just one more thing. The Democrats will do whatever it takes to hold on to power. That’s their sole mission in politics and it’s looking more and more like a mission impossible. They will never learn. You can’t out Republican a Republican.

The message from the Party leaders will always be:  “You can’t do anything until you win.”  

Then you can do nothing.

*http://www.commondreams.org/view/

***

Robert Reich, Up To His Old Tricks.

Fighting For The Little Guy.

The guy just won’t quit. No doubt firmly ensconced among the 1%, why should he care about the rest of us.

That’s a question that’s hard to answer. But we can all be grateful that he does – care.

ROBERT TEICH

Robert Reich. He cares. (Photo: Policy Network).

And maybe the answer is that simple: He cares.

http://front.moveon.org/war_on_the_poor_

http://freakoutnation.com/2014/02/07/watch-robert-reich-explains-gop-war-plan/

***

Pay Up Or No Water.

The West Virginia American Water Company will bill customers as usual for the spill contaminated water they may or may not consume. Doesn’t matter if the stuff is poison. Pay up or you get nothing at all.

And besides, the water is whatchacall your “suitable for consumption” variety.

Once you get past the smell, it’s like any other water. Oh, maybe, just a bit licoricey to the taste. But don’t you pay no never mind. It’s safe, uh, suitable for consumption.

And some folks are saying it’s better’n moonshine.

http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2014/02/09/3196981/chemical-spill-timeline/

***

SNAP Snipped. Again.

For some, the most recent cuts in food stamps will amount to $100.00 per month. Quite a chunk out of the cat food allotment.

In Michigan to praise the most recent welfare legislation for agricultural conglomerates, President Obama happily cheered the bill as an example of the kind of bipartisanship the country needs.

On hand to congratulate the president on the signing of the legislation into law were, oh let’s see now, oh yeah, some mayor of the city where Obama made his speech.

Where was John Boehner, Speaker of the House? And Chairman of the House Ag Committee Frank Lucas (R-OK)? And the Republican governor of the state?  Guess they had better things to do than to listen to another Obama speech fest.

BOEHNER

Not anoterr Obama speessh. 

Thankfully a handful of Democrats were on hand to cheer on the president as was the mayor of Lansing, MI, also a Dem.

As for the Republicans, they had better sense than to show up for a speech about welfare for the wealthy and cuts to food for the hungry.

http://freakoutnation.com/2014/02/07/mia-not-one-of-the-two-dozen-republicans-obama-invited-joined-him-in-michigan-not-one/

***

Obama Voltefaccia.

Yes, the Affordable Care Act accomplished some good. Here are some of the more notable health insurance improvements brought about by Obamacare.

First, persons with pre-existing conditions can’t be turned away. And there is no upper limit to the amount of insurance a person received during a lifetime. And young adults can be covered under a parent’s plan until they reach the age of 26. And policies must cover preventive care.

The drawbacks however are glaring. For example, the position of the health insurance industry, an entirely unnecessary middle man, is now unassailable. Obamacare has made health insurance corporations the centerpiece of the health care industry never to be removed from their position of dominance.

The public option, or Medicare for all, is doomed for all time. Republicans won’t hear of it and the Democrats will defend Obamacare to the death.

Will Obamacare succeed? After all of the haggling and squabbling over a piece of insurmountable and unnecessary complexity, that question remains unanswered.

After all is said and done, the result of the signature piece of the Obama presidency is little more than a huge government handout to insurance carriers, their executives and investors.

Barack Obama proclaimed support for a public option in numerous speeches on the 2008 campaign trail and, once in office, turned his back on the people who gave him their votes.

barryreverse

Voltafaccia, a turnabout. More like a betrayal.

We can only dream what might have been. And envy those nations, such as Mexico, that have realized the dream.

http://www.salon.com/2014/02/08//jon_stewart

http://www.demonews.org/watch-americans-living-in-mexico-praise-its-universal-health-care-seguro-popular/

***

Hamming It Up.

Ken Ham, God’s gift to ignorance, said in the debate with science guy Bill Nye, that “a light-year is a measure of distance. A million light-years doesn’t mean that it took a star’s light that many years to reach us.”

Pay no attention. The preacher, known to his hipster followers as the Hamster, not only loves stuff that is made up. Cool cat that he is, he really, really loves making up his own stuff.

Not only did he make up the the part about the light-year. He also created out of no evidence whatsoever, an entire Creation museum, proving once and for all that something can be made out of nothing.

Like maybe even a universe.

But the Hamster also believes that the Bible is the inerrant word of God.

Not so, of course. You can accept as gospel that Christians modified biblical texts repeatedly over the centuries by inserting and removing words, mis-translating the Greek and Hebrew languages and expunging objectionable material – all in a misguided effort to make the mother of all books coincide with evolving beliefs.

Take for example the story of Adam and Eve. Everyone believes that the happy couple committed an unforgivable sin when they ate the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, an act expressly forbidden by none other than God himself.

That’s the altered version. The real story tells of a weed growing beneath the tree that God told them not to smoke. So what did they do? They huffed and they puffed, got high and started fornicating all over the Garden of Eden.

weed

A medieval monk who believed smoking marijuana was a mortal sin, made up the story about the apple. In reality, it was a weed that did in the happy couple. Fortunately, Adam had the good sense to steal a few plants and cultivate them for the greater glory of God and mankind.

They humped and they pumped and when God finally heard the moans and the groans through the listening devices he had planted throughout Paradise, he got pissed.

God then kicked the giggly pair out of the Garden and sent them into the deserts of Mesopotamia.

But first He made them cover up their fornicating apparatus with fig leaves.

And believe it or not, there’s an addition to the story no one has ever heard of. That’s because the words were expunged and remained a secret until archaeologists discovered ancient scrolls stored in a sealed urn in a wine cellar of a pair of medieval merchants who owned a small job creating business named Sid and Saul’s Kosher Bar and Grill located on E34th Street in Thessalonia.

Here’s the rest of the story. Shortly after the expulsion from the Garden, Eve invented the first thong and whenever she wore the thing and twerked, it drove Adam wild. That’s why they had so many kids.

adam and eve

Expulsion of Adam and Eve (Alexandre Cabanel). Note the thongs made by Eve from fig leaves both were forced to wear.

A few thousand years later a saintly nun named Victoria of Vichy, who happened to have studied the original biblical text, stole Eve’s idea and sold her sexy undies in convents and monasteries throughout the declining Roman Empire.

Early in the 6th century, the wearing of thongs (from the Greek Θovkς) and twerking (Greek: Θηρκινγ) were prohibited by Pope Nero II (AD 521-523) under pain of excommunication. The use of the words themselves was banned in both spoken and written forms in all languages then in use until the garment and the dance were rediscovered two thousand years later in the ruins of Sid and Saul’s establishment.

thong

An example of St. Victoria’s design improvement on Eve’s fig leaf thong.

You can believe the story because it’s all contained in the original unmodified version of the Bible, the only text that is the inerrant word of God. Sadly, no manuscripts survived beyond circa AD 500 and today we have only an anecdotal record, the written reminiscences of St. Victoria and the few scraps of scrolls which when pieced together reveal a smattering of the true nature the book that came to be called the Bible.

Anyways, the upshot is that because of a few puffs on one little weed, we’re all living in a turd bowl and, worse, we could go to Hell.

In modern times, most biblical scholars are convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that the Bible as it exists today cannot be the unimpeachable word of God because the Book has been modified countless times over the centuries. Now, when you read Genesis 3 again, you can be assured you’re reading a radically altered version of the best selling book of all time.

.

Okay, okay. So I made up the part about Victoria’s secret. But the rest of the story is absolutely true. And you can take God’s word for it.

***

Limerick Lunacy.

A fellow whose collar was frayed
Upbraided a careless housemaid.
She said “that’s enough
Or your collar I’ll stuff
Down your throat till you need first aid.”
.
A fellow appeared unafraid
Of a woman whose nerves were frayed.
At him she would screech
I’ve a lesson to teach
You’ll regret that you foolishly strayed.
.
A woman whose nerves appeared frayed
Was dismayed by a mate unafraid.
She said don’t you sneer
You will soon come to fear
The wrath of a woman betrayed.
Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: