The DC Folly Trolley – 04/24/14

To Love In The Biblical Sense.

Stand aside adherents of a Jesus/Mary Magdalene marriage. He may not have been married at all. At least not to Mary, that much maligned biblical figure.

Quite possibly he was in love with his young disciple John.  Ya know, blond, blue eyes, nine inches.

The Bible explicitly says Jesus while on the cross that he “saw his mother and the disciple he loved standing near” and he said “’Woman behold your son.’ Then said to his disciple, ‘Behold your mother.’ And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.”

Convincing? Well, maybe not.

As for me, I like the Jesus/Mary marriage scenario. It’s much more dramatic and writers can give their plots many more twists employing miracles such as changing water into wine at his very own wedding celebration.

(Wish he would’ve come to my wedding.  Ended up paying through the nose for the cheapest wine I could find.

hoover dam

Water into wine??? What a wonderful world it could be. Where is God when you really need Him? (Hoover Dam on the Colorado River).

***

North Carolina Descending.

Prehistoric lifeforms have come to dominate police departments across the length and breadth of the land from the oceans to the praries. We all heard of or seen videos of rampant police use of excessive force and frequently even brutality.

Here is one from North Carolina where an irate police officer seized the phones of witnesses recording an arrest event.

From this incident and the many others that have occurred, a question surfaces: Are police reverting to previous lifeforms because of a genetic disorder or did they just skip an evolutionary step?

We report; you decide.

***

So, What’s Wrong With Being A Slave.

Cliven Bundy said this week that he believes Sean Hannity is a slave.

Hannity,” he said, “is such a suck up to Roger Ailes and Fox News that the only explanation must be that he has sold his soul and is now in bondage to Ailes and that thar network.”

And the thing of it is,” Bundy continued, “he’s a white man. Now ever’body knows no white man has been a slave since the Eyetalians ran that big whatchamacallit empire way back when.”

Bundy, whose cows have been grazing on government property for years and who now owes the Federales about a million dollars give or take, could soon become a jailbird if he doesn’t wise up. And doing some hard time is no tale of slavery.

After making his anti-Hannity statements, however, Bundy lost the support of the Fox News slave who quickly performed a voltafaccia saying he really didn’t support the cowpoke after all. He just sympathized with him because he was a victim of Government Gone Wild.

hannity

  Sean Hannity does yet another turnabout. Which way is up?

I thought Alan Greenspan was the biggest asshole in the universe,” Hannity was overheard to say. “Then this schmuck comes along.”

Anyways, if events unfold the way liberals hope they wiil, Hannity will be given his freedom by Fox News and be a slave no more.

***

Speaking of Alan Greenspan.

In his book Griftopia, Matt Taibbi referred to Sir Alan of Bubbleshire as THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE IN THE UNIVERSE.

No argument there. Taibbi was referring to the bubbles, tech and housing, of which Sir Alan, inspired by the dark cult of Randian belief, was the main architect.  Sir Alan, however, has a lot of company in his anal world.

alan

Sir Alan of Bubbleshire mangling the King’s English before the House Financial Services Committee.

Also responsible for the near collapse of the planet’s economy are such dimming lights as former president Bill Clinton, his Treasury secretary Bob Rubin and smirky face former senator Phil Gramm.

These four horseman of the Apocalypse of 2008 played a major and devious role in trashing FDR’s Glass-Steagall Act and the New Deal reforms that separated commercial and investment banking.

Their notorious behavior resulted in the passage of two destructive acts with the Orwellian titles: The Financial Services Modernization Act and The Commodity Futures Modernization Act.

Note the word “modernization.” It’s in the title for a purpose. Mainly, to bamboozle Americans into believing that the existing financial system was old fashioned. And the scam concocted by these charlatans worked. Both pieces of pernicious legislation passed with the support of bipartisan majorities.

The despicable conduct of these four quacks eventually cost millions of homeowners several trillion dollars of lost wealth and thrust the US economy into a long term recession that continues to this day.

Not to worry, though. Each of the frauds got rich – to the tune of tens of millions of dollars apiece and more.

***

Free Speech And “Born Agains” At Uconn.

University of Connecticut officials reaffirmed their commitment to First Amendment rights of free speech in a statement of semi-support for a professor who beseeched students to accept Charles Darwin as their lord and savior.

At the same time, the Uconn statement acknowedged the right to speak freely even when the subject stemmed from profound ignorance as Christian preachers denounced evolution as a lie.

So the professor became irate when the preacher asked him if he believed he he was descended from monkeys. The professor vehemently denied the preachers posit saying, “no” he didn’t come from a line of monkeys’; he was descended from apes, an apparently significant distinction.

ape

Much like our forebears, most of us are still scratching out a living.  (Photo by Aaron Logan source).

Anyways, if that be the case, and apes have souls, then Darwin saves.

And so begins the movement of “born again” Darwinians.

***

A Lesser Political Light.

Conversation between the iPhone senator promoting a revolutionary new campaign method and a constituent who resides on top of Old Smokey.

Hello, Sen. Lamar Alexander calling. Is that you?

Uh, yes, senator. It’s me.

Oh, thank goodness.

I just wanted to remind you that the Republican Party wants to be the iPhone party and we want iPhone government. Our vision is to be like Apple and create wealth for all Americans same as Apple does.

Now you can invest your hard earned money, if you still have any, in Asian companies where all those dirty finger manual labor jobs were outsourced.

Become a client of the big Wall Street banks like Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan and your’re sure to get rich. Remember the banks are protected from losing money by your money, if you still have any.

Just like Apple we want to keep the high tech jobs here in America. That’s why we support the H1B visa program to bring highly educated foreigners who work for peanuts into this country. That’ll make you even more money, if you still have any.

And, by the way, I’ve introduced legislation that will provide government assistance to NASCAR.

alexander

That part “bout NASCAR oughter git ‘em.

So all you Repubs on top of Old Smokey and everywhere else in the Anti-Union State, charge the battery of your iPhone. Here come Lamar and the GOPers.

***

Limerick Lunacy.
 
A woman was dating three guys
She selected the one with blue eyes.
He lived in Sumatra
And just like Sinatra
A wink always won him the prize.
.
A fellow was out with the guys
Chasing gals and the ultimate prize.
He approached a fair maiden
With hopes to get laid in
An hour or two he’d surmise.
night out

Just another night out with the guys.

.
A gal was just one of the guys
With burger she had her french fries.
She downed them with beer
And said with a sneer
Complain and you’ll meet your demise.
 
bar

You’re messin’ with the wrong babe, bub.

 
 
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