Archive for May, 2014

May 19, 2014

The DC Folly Trolley – 05/18/14

Just Another Shoot ‘Em Up Repub.

A Utah state pol, a Repub of course, called for the return of the firing squad as a means of execution.

A Democrat who spoke under conditions of anonymity said he would support the measure only if calling for execution by firing squad was made a capital offense.


Liberals” Hate Liberals.

Interviewing Glenn Greenwald, who is promoting his book Nowhere To Hide, Chris Hayes said that a lot of people, mostly liberals, watching his show All In With Chris Hayes, hate the author for his wide ranging criticisms of the Obama administration.

Portrait of Glenn Greenwald -creator of Unclai...

Portrait of Glenn Greenwald -creator of Unclaimed Territory blog and contributing writer at (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hayes, however, may be confusing liberals with Democrats.  For liberals, there is much to dislike about the policies of the president, not the least of which is its widespread spying on Americans and the deeply imbedded government secrecy it espouses.

In fact, many liberals are finally coming to grips with the president’s right wing conservatism.

dems burning

Right wing Dems: burning the house that FDR built.

For example, we have been assaulted with,

Obamacare – the obnoxiously complex and unnecessarily expensive health insurance program based on a right wing plan straight out of the Heritage Foundation.

Obamatrade – the soon to be TPP and TTIP trade agreements both of which are staunchly supported by Obama and which are designed to enhance corporate control of a global economy.

Obamabanks – the president became Rescuer in Chief of the banking industry by presiding over the growth of already too big to fail monstrosities and by refusing to prosecute the Wall Street thieves responsible for the economic implosion that began in 2007.

Obamanet – the president appointed a communication’s industry executive to the chairmanship of the FCC whose sole purpose in that position is the destruction of net neutrality.

Obamaed – the most recent nose thumb from the pres is the appointment of school privatizer and CEO of New Schools Venture Fund Ted Mitchell as under secretary of education for higher ed.


Yes, there is much for liberals to loathe about Obama’s policies. Not only did the 2008 candidate pull off one of the greatest stings in political history by bamboozling us with his populist message. With unsurpassed hubris, he continues to throw populism in our faces while he acts in the opposite manner.

How can there be any doubt that President Obama is a right wing conservative whose policies run counter to the beliefs of true liberals.


Perhaps the only persons who can support the president nowadays are tribalists, that is, Democrats who belong to one of the two political tribes in the US (the other tribe, of course, is the Republican party).

Tribalists support the policies of the leader of the party. In the case of Dems at the moment, the leader is the president.

In order to remain a loyal member of the tribe, a tribesman must stand behind the leader even if his policies run counter to the traditions of the tribe. And that is what Dems are currently doing, including such former liberal stalwarts as Nancy Pelosi.

Just read a few of the words spoken by right winger Bill Clinton, the worst president in the history of the Democratic party, at the ultra-conservative Peter G. Peterson fiscal summit in Washington DC and you’ll get a smattering of how far to the right the Dems have drifted.

Here’s a statement by Clinton about the guardians of the Democratic party’s liberal legacy as he told former Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner that you could slit Lloyd Blankfein’s throat and that would satisfy them (loyal Democrats) for about two days and then the blood lust would rise again.

Also in attendance at the annual Peterson propaganda event were Pelosi and Dem senator Patty Murray.


And here is a statement by Clinton referring to the guardians of the Democratic party’s liberal legacy as he told former Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner:  that you could slit Lloyd Blankfein’s throat and that would satisfy them  for about two days and then the blood lust would rise again.

To paraphrase the statement of this worn out war horse:  You could hand them our Social Security on a silver platter and that would satisfy them for about two days.  Then the greed lust would rise again .

bill c

Time to put this tired old troublemaker out to pasture.


Colonoscopy For Congressman.

Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA) underwent a colonoscopy last week. According to leaked medical records, doctors found a large number of brain cells located just below the distal portion of the bowel.


We all knew he had a brain. Now we know where it is.


The path to many a DC brain starts here.

(Darrell Issa, pictured above, is chairman of the Mickey Mouse Benghazi hearings.)


Right Wing Gathering A Huge Success.

The right wing inspired Operation American Spring turned out to be a huge success as a few Americans gathered round their TVs to watch a dozen or so people march on Washington.

The march was organized to address the Obama administration with a list of grievances that included Benghazi, Obamacare and the legitimacy of the president’s birth certificate.

Organizers of the affair had difficultly assessing the exact number of people in the throng because two or three of them kept moving around.


Cop ticketing a Tea Party protester during massive right wing event. The other protester was arrested and hauled off in a paddy wagon.

An overnight Nielson survey estimated the TV audience set a record for viewership of persons over seventy years of age in the 3:30 PM time slot.

Numbers for younger age groups were not immediately tabulated.

However, a spokesman for the ratings company said he believed the number of younger people who tuned in may have been impacted by a Bowling For Dollars special being broadcast on a competing station.


Limerick Lunacy.

A fellow who’d once been the beau
Of a princess was told to go blow.
He went into a funk
Till his head he would dunk
In a barrel of Remy Cointreau.
A gal tied her hair in a bow
That covered her bod head to toe.
It was really quite pleasing
Except when she’s sneezing
It reveals hers charms down below.
A gal tied her hair in a bow
That would hurt making love to a beau
One said “It’s annoying”
When my toy I’m deploying.”
It’s better down there when you mow”
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May 11, 2014

The DC Folly Trolley – 05/11/14

Clipper Clipped.

In an exclusive recorded interview with UPW News, Donald Sterling claimed he was not a racist.

The NBA recently zinged it big time to the LA Clippers owner for making racist comments during a recorded phone conversation.

As punishment for the remarks, NBA Commissioner Adam Silver said Sterling can’t go to any more Clipper games.

However, he can still watch them on TV in the comfort of his very own mansion.

In a statement released by Sterling from a recorded conversation, the billionaire protested the NBA’s decision and said he doesn’t have a racist bone in his body. To prove his point, Sterling claimed that some of his best friends are Borneo-Sumatran mountain dwellers.

He spoke with UPW News correspondent Marcy Popindick stating that he has often invited the Asian tribes’ people to Clipper games offering free tickets and a complimentary order of french fries, small size.

The only thing the tribal natives had to do was provide for their own air transportation.

Proclaiming his generosity, the Clippers owner pointed out that he was even willing to pay for accommodations for the tribe which would be provided by Tents Galore along with all necessary camping permits.

The taped conversation ended with Sterling saying, “So there. That proves I’m really not prejudiced after all.


Borneo-Sumatran tribesmen could not be reached for comment.

Photo from The Pagan Tribes of Borneo by Charles Hose.


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Obama Boosts TPP.

President Obama traveled to Asia recently to promote his faltering Trans Pacific Partnership agreement.

Citing several aspects of the pact, Obama said the agreement will boost trade, increase economic growth and employment and assist pharmaceutical giants in the quest to develop a new generation of wonder drugs.

El Presidente remarked that people opposed to the trade alliance are akin to conspiracy theorists. If they read the terms of the pact, the president seemed to believe, the knowledge gained would garner widespread support.

Obama seemed blissfully unaware, however, that the TTP was a deep, dark corporate secret.

English: Barack Obama delivers a speech at the...

Asked if the president knew the terms of the agreement, a spokesman said “No, “cause it’s a secret and besides as chief executive, Obama doesn’t have time to read that kind of bullshit. However, the spokesman continued, the president has complete faith in the corporate benefactors who paid for his billion dollar ticket to the Oval Office and trusts that they will do the right thing just as they have always done.


Wasp Attack.

White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Brit Hume, who benefited enormously from his WASP background, accused President Barack Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder of exploiting an African-American heritage to benefit their careers.

And Hume, the ultimate WASPy right winger, got away with it.

Only in America.

mother's day


Big Oil Assumes Ownership Of Earth’s Oceans.

The US Navy today assigned ownership of the planet’s five oceans to Wall Street’s largest oil companies.

In conjunction with its successful experiment converting carbon dioxide into an unlimited supply of hydrocarbons which can then be used as fuel to replace oil, gas and coal, the Navy granted a lease to Exxon-Mobil to extract CO2 from the Pacific Ocean.

Additional leases were granted to BP to extract from the Atlantic Ocean; Shell Oil accepted the lease to the Indian Ocean. Five additional companies signed leases to share access to the Arctic and Southern Oceans.


Soon to be powered by a seawater fuel conversion kit.

The process developed by the Navy, which promises to provide an unlimited supply of clean fuel, extracts the major greenhouse gas from seawater and converts it to hydrocarbons that can be used as a non-poluting energy source.

According to climatologists, the oceans act as sponges and absorb CO2. However, the scientists believe that at present the Earth’s water has achieved the saturation point and in the future will be unable to absorb significant atmospheric carbon dioxide, a condition that would result in accelerating global warming.

The experiment promises to restore the oceans’ ability to absorb the gas and since the converted fuel releases very little CO2, the process holds the potential of reversing global warming.

Executives at the major energy companies were delighted with the Navy’s decision to assign the oceans of the Earth to free market development.

Goldman-Sachs, JP Morgan Chase and several other Wall Street firms approached the oil giants with a proposition to buy huge portions of the leases and withhold them from the extraction process. “Warehousing” the oceans for future development would allow the Wall Street to restrict supply and control prices of the fuel which, according to an anonymous source, could reach as high as $7.00 dollars a gallon.

The price of energy stocks soared on Wall Street as investors salivated at the prospect of profits that can be realized from the new technology.


Limerick Lunacy.

A fellow was taking a break
After swimming in a frozen lake
He swam in the nude
When a woman said “Dude,
You can’t rock ‘n roll when you shake ‘n quake.”
A woman at last caught a break
After being many hours awake
She took a quick nap
On a lucky guy’s lap
Who tried to partake till she said “go pound cake.”
A woman would frequently pick
Every Tom, Harry and Dick
With the three in the car.
She soon went too far
Saying “this is what makes my life tick.
A woman was trying to pick
Among Tom, Harry and Dick.
She went on a tear
And had an affair
With all saying “this is my shtick.”
A woman was trying to pick
The guys who make her life tick.
They were all very nice
To her life added spice.
She decided she wouldn’t pick quick.
A woman was trying to pick
Frozen yogurt on a stick to lick.
The flavor she liked
Was thoroughly spiked
With rum that gave a quick kick.
A woman was trying to pick
Among guys with whom she could click
She chose a big fellow
Who made her life mellow
But alas was a slippery Dick.





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