Archive for ‘GOVERNMENT’

March 25, 2012

The American Way

A spokesman for the Romney campaign said today that as soon as the candidate wins the nomination he will begin reversing his positions on the following issues:

I took this picture at the "Ask Mitt Anyt...

This picture was taken at the "Ask Mitt Anything" townhall at the NHIOP (Saint Anselm College) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mitt Romney seems to have a family predisposition for flip flopping.  It’s worth noting once again his father’s famous turnabout during the presidential campaign of 1968 when as a supporter of the Vietnam War he said after a visit to the country that he had been “brainwashed” by the generals. Eugene McCarthy, also a candidate, retorted “I think a light rinse would have been sufficient. “  


Romney will support all abortions for all women.

Birth Control. He will support the free distribution of all birth control methods and devices by Planned Parenthood and require all employers to provide access to birth control to employees free of charge.

Margaret Sanger Deutsch: Margaret Sanger (* 1879)

Margaret Sanger (1879-1966), founder of Planned Parenthood, coined the term "birth control.". (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Minimum Wage: After reversing his position that the minimum wage should be tied to the Consumer Price Index he will again reverse himself and yet again support tying the minimum wage to the CPI.

Affordable Care Act: He will support the administration’s health insurance plan and insist that it be called Robamneycare.

Wall Street Fraud: He will present legislation to strictly regulate the financial industry and reinstate Glass-Steagall.

The Economy: Romney will send to Congress a trillion dollar package to stimulate the economy and help states that are struggling with budget deficits.

Unemployment: He will extend and increase unemployment benefits for those unfortunate people who lost their jobs due largely due to Wall Street chicanery.

Foreclosures: He will force banks to renegotiate mortgages with home owners whose homes lost half their value because of lender fraud.

None of the foregoing remarks are intended to be factual statements. Actually, taking a cue from candidate Romney, I told a bunch of bald faced lies.  We make up; you decide.

Oh well. Such is politics. I guess you could call it the American way.


Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta went to Afghanistan this week in an effort to whitewash the murder of seventeen innocent men, women and children by a stressed out American soldier. The man was obviously suffering from severe stress syndrome after serving four tours in war zones.

U.S. Defense Secretary Leon E. Panetta walks w...

U.S. Defense Secretary Leon E. Panetta walks with U.S. Ambassador Karl W. Eikenberry, left, and Afghan Defense Minister Gen. Abdul Rahim Wardak as he arrives at the presidential palace in Kabul, Afghanistan, July 9, 2011. DOD photo by U.S. Air Force Tech. Sgt. Jacob N. Bailey (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In addition to some yada, yada, yada, Panetta said, “This is not the first…” time that this kind of bullshit will happen “and it probably won’t be the last.”

So, according to our esteemed Secretary of Defense, we can look forward to the murder of many more innocent civilians, including women and children, in this and future American wars.

I guess we finally have to admit to ourselves, it’s the American way.


Acknowledging Panetta’s forthrightness and unmitigated stupidity, the Nobella Prize Committee announced from its hideout in Pasta Fagioli, Italy that it has awarded the MVP prize to the secretary.

Winners of The Most Valuable Putz Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize. .

These exceptional individuals also receive a statuette named the Pubar engraved with the words “Putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie the statuette is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.

From the UPW Newsroom reporting from Pasta Fagioli, Italy. Unreliable Press Worldwide: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news the world over.


President Obama said this week that he is committed to completing “the mission responsibility” in Afghanistan. Presumably he will continue the mission even if it means driving soldiers so close to the edge of insanity that they will murder innocent men, women and children. The president’s determination seems to reveal itself only in matters of war. Something we can all be very proud of. After all, it’s the American way.


American forces have been in Afghanistan for more than ten years now. Ten years and our esteemed generals still have not trained a police force capable of providing law and order in that war torn country. We’ve spent $6 billion dollars on that effort alone and can’t put enough cops on the beat to protect law abiding citizens.

In view of this rank incompetence, veterans of foreign wars should take it upon themselves to demand that the Defense Department create a new ribbon – you know, those things that generals wear on the uniforms of their puffed out chests. A good name for the ribbon, of course, would be the Rank Incompetence Medal and would be awarded to the rank of one star and above. It would recognize the ability of generals who start wars they always seem to lose.


We interrupt this report for a bulletin from the UPW Newsroom.

The Nobella Prize Committee announced just moments ago that it is awarding The Schmuckup Prize to American generals who start wars they never win. The Committee recognized that the generals have involved their nation in a war that has lasted more than ten years, have wasted more than $60 billion dollars a year on the effort and have yet to train a police for adequate enough to protect the country.

So, at the Pentagon at least, starting wars they can’t win is becoming the American way.

Generals Dwight D. Eisenhower and Omar Bradley...

War unfortunately is a human condition and the nation cannot make do without its generals despite their foibles and failures. Some of the great ones are pictured. Generals Dwight D. Eisenhower and Omar Bradley talk with a young member of the French resistance in the American sector during the liberation of Lower Normandy in the summer of 1944. ID: p013328 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Winners of The Schmuckup Prize receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize. In addition, winners are given the coveted statuette called The Little Schmucky engraved with the words “Schmucked up beyond all reason.” The Little Schmucky is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. All prizes are awarded while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winners supplies just ran out.


You may have read in WaPO’s The Plum Line by Greg Sargent that Karl Rove said that killing bin Laden “was not a biggie.”

To make his point, Rove told a teensie, weensie bald face lie. He misquoted Bill Clinton when he wrote that the former president said “that’s a call he would have made.” What Clinton actually said was “I hope that’s a call I would have made.”

Rove’s op-ed, of course, was an attempt to paper over George Bush’s categorical failure to capture or kill bin Laden by allowing him to escape through a military ambush. The terrorist then went on to live a life of luxury in Pakistan.

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia with George W. B...

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia with George W. Bush at the Prairie Chapel Ranch. Who Is the World’s Worst Dictator? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just wondering. Isn’t the Bush family good friends with many Saudis including the bin Laden family? Didn’t Bush permit the Saudis who were in the US during 9/11 to exit the country the next day despite the fly ban? Bush is known to have extended more than one favor to his friends. Did he allow bin Laden to slip through a crack in the ambush?

Oh, Georgie, couldn’t you do us just this one little favor?”

We make up; you decide.

November 26, 2011

The DC Folly Trolley

War industry lobbyists would have us believe if we reduce the war budget by even a small amount we could be killed in a terrorist attack. Not a pleasant thought of course and a good reason to keep spending at a level soon to reach a trillion dollars a year. Gots ta have all that war stuff to protect us.

File:Pentagon satellite image.jpg

So what does a trillion dollars a year spent here protect you from?

Let us ask this question however: Would you rather be killed in a terrorist attack or an automobile accident?

If those were the only two choices it would be preferable to be killed in a terrorist attack because it is far more likely that you can be killed in an auto accident.

So maybe we should be spending trillions improving safety on the highways.

Nah. No way. The war industry lavishes enormous amounts of protection money on countless government officials. And not one dime ever comes from the highways.

So if you have the choice on how you want to be killed, pick the terrorist attack.  Your’re chances of being killed in one are about the same as being hit by a meteor. So you’ll be a lot safer.


Corporations are persons. But unlike the living, they shit everywhere on the planet and never cleanup after themselves – unless of course they are forced by government regulation to do so. And then they bitch like a bunch of spoiled brats.


Here’s a bulletin from Fox News: Pepper spray is a condiment.

All the world used to be a stage. Now it’s a video on Youtube. Someone should inform the police. Such knowledge might cause them to use good judgment and common sense for a change. On the other hand, why waste everybody’s time.


If marijuana was legalized who would the police arrest?

Do you think they might investigate real crime and pursue real criminals? I’m not so sure. After all that could be dangerous. I suspect the number of speeding tickets they write would rise exponentially though.

Hmmm. Maybe keeping MJ illegal isn’t such a bad idea. It does tend to keep the police out of everybody’s hair.


Max Baucus, U.S. Senator from Montana.

Hey, cut me some slack. I'm just trying to make a fast buck like everyone else in Follyland. Image via Wikipedia

Activists marched in front of the Bozeman office of Sen. Max Baucus (D-MT). They were protesting the Senator’s role in defeating the public option and supporting the mangled Obamacare instead. A spokesman for the senator said he’s just a simple, modest man whose trying to make a few million bucks from his position just like everyone else in DC.


Firms contracted by the government to provide torture services were charging $500 to attach nipple clamps to victims.

When the subjects began having orgasms, the government demanded refunds.

While orgasms may be fun, $500 a pop is a bit much.

File:Nipple Clamps in Use.png


originally posted to Flickr as Strawberry Love by Tracie.

October 26, 2011

Are You Rich Yet?

Ronald Reagan brought you supply side economics.  Are you rich yet?

Bill Clinton reformed welfare.  Are you rich yet?

George Bush gave you two tax cuts.  Are you rich yet?

Alan Greenspan lowered the prime interest rate to near zero.  Are you rich yet?

Former Chairman of the Federal Reserve Alan Gr...

After committing one of the most monumental screwups in world history, the Maestro is awarded a thingy by George Bush who hasn't yet received his thingy for all of his screwups. Image via Wikipedia*

Barack Obama extended the Bush tax cuts.  Are you rich yet?

Ben Bernanke purchased trillions of dollars of worthless CDOs from Wall Street banks.  Are you rich yet?

Official portrait of Federal Reserve Chairman ...

Nice beard. Oh, yeah right. He's that Fed Chairman guy.

Obama gave you a payroll tax cut.  Are you rich yet?

Obama saved Wall Street for the sake of Main Street.  Are you rich yet?

All of the above actions enriched the richest 1% and saved them trillions of dollars in bank assets.  Are you rich yet?

Wall Street outlaws pay millions of dollars in protection money to the mobsters in DC we euphemistically refer to as Congress. And there’s a lot more scratch where that came from so long as the mobsters continue to play ball. There’s no indication the crooked game will ever end.

Alan Greenspan – Ayn Rand cultist, compulsive deregulationist and everybody’s favorite candidate for the mangled English prize –  committed a spectacularly monumental blunder by failing to recognize a housing bubble almost as big as his nose, until the damn thing burst in his face.  President Bush is seen awarding Alan the Baronial Medal of Stupidity, I mean the Presidential Medal of Freedom.  You actually get an award for being one of the central characters that caused the collapse of the global economy.*

*(Alan Greenspan was also honored with the Schmuckup Prize in Economics awarded by the Nobella Prize Committee in September 2009.

The Committee, whose hideout is located in Pasta Fagioli, a village nestled deep in the Italian Alps, grants awards from time to time to deserving individuals in the arts, sciences and government or just about anything else whenever it feels like it.

The Schmuckup Prize consists of a statuette known as the Little Schmuckie and is made of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.  The Little Schmuckie is given to winners of the award while supplies last.  Unfortunately for Alan supplies ran out the day he was awarded the prize.

Alan has also been nominated for Shit Eatingest Grin of the Decade.  We stand breathless awaiting the committees decision on the winner).

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October 20, 2011

Occupy Democracy Resources & Wolf Pac

Occupy Democracy Resources.

How To Regain Our Democracy | The Smirking Chimp.

Charlie Chaplin stands on Douglas Fairbanks' s...

Image via Wikipedia

Combined with OWS, Cenk Uygur’s new Wolf Pac and FB groups might bring to pass a new awakening, sorely needed in America.

We are living under corrupt government.  Wall Street banks and US corporations pay millions of dollars a year in protection money to the mobsters in Washington we euphemistically call government.  In exchange for the protection money the money changers then get to write the laws that protect them and when they break the law the mob looks the other way.

The banksters rely on the exchange of soiled money to keep them from being prosecuted.  Else they would surely be common jailbirds and deservedly so.

  • Protection Money Pays Off (
  • Photo – Charlie Chaplin stands on Douglas Fairbanks shoulders during 1918 Wall Street protest.