Archive for ‘THE PUTZIE’

April 28, 2012

Candidate Wins Award

Mitt-Romney

Romney enters his hair as a contestant in the new TV reality show "Styling With The Stars.' Mitt-Romney (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Nobella Prize Committee announced from its hideout in Pasta Fagioli, Italy that US presidential candidate Mitt Romney has won the Nobella MVP award.

Mitt won for his statement that college students shouldn’t take out government loans to pay for college.  They should simply borrow the money from their parents.

And exactly where does Mitt “dog on roof” Romney believe parents are going to come up with the kind of scratch to put a son or a daughter through college?  Much less three kids?  That, of course, assumes that all parents have tens of thousands of dollars in the mattress just waiting for the kids to graduate from high school.

“Dog on roof” also noted that times are really, really hard for college students now graduating.  There are no jobs for about half of them.  And, of course, he said he would change all that, meaning the economic conditions existing in a country with few jobs available – conditions that he and his group of greedy capitalists contributed to.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

UPW Senior National Correspondent Marcy Popindick attempted to contact Romney to get a comment on his comments:

Hello, Mitt.  Mitt, are you there?  Come in, Mitt.  Houston, we have a problem.  Mitt Romney is lost in space.

Yes, “dog on roof” is really out ‘dere.  Waaaaay out ‘dere.

Popindick also wanted to congratulate the candidate for being the winner of the Most Valuable Putz award.

The prize was also given for his pointing that some guy named Jimmy John borrowed twenty grand from his parents to open a sandwich shop.  Good for Jimmy John.  And Romney undoubtedly knows thousands of parents with Swiss bank accounts and millions salted away in the Cayman Islands so they can avoid the taxes they justifiable owe their country.  And they would only lend their son $20,000.00!!!  What a bunch of cheapskates!!!  I guess greed is a family thing that even operates within the family.

Anyway, “dog on roof” Romney wins the MVP.

Winners of The Most Valuable Putz Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize. .

These exceptional individuals also receive a statuette named the Pubar which is engraved with the words “Putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie, the coveted statuette is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.

The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.

From the UPW Newsroom reporting from Pasta Fagioli, Italy.  Unreliable Press Worldwide:  Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news the world over.

January 7, 2012

Nobella Committee Announces Award

Pasta Fagioli, Italy. Jan. 07, 2012

The Nobella Prize Committee Selects Rick Santorum As Winner of the MVP Award.

, U.S. Senator from Pennsylvania.

Former senator Rick Santorum. Image via Wikipedia

The Nobella Prize Committee today awarded its MVP prize to former Pennsylvania senator and current Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum for his work in Economics.

Mr. Santorum’s discovery that gay marriage is the cause of the Great Republican Recession won plaudits from right wing economists across the globe.

The former senator’s study faulting the breakdown of the family and a decline in moral values on what he referred to as “this whole redefintion of marriage”

Santorum blamed gay marriage for the moral failings of both Wall Street and Main Street and stated that this failure causes recessions. The committee inferred from Mr. Santorum’s findings that all we need to do is end gay marriage and kids will stop engaging in sexual relations after school (or at least say a prayer before they get laid), everybody will be blessed with morality by the Holy Spirit and we’ll all get rich.

The members of the committee stated that the strides made by Santorum’s findings will advance the knowledge of the counterfeit science and aid economists in predicting future recessions.  

The committee noted that economists have been wrong about predicting six out of the last five recessions.

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Winners of The Most Valuable Putz Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize. .

These exceptional individuals also receive a statuette named the Pubar engraved with the words “putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie the statuette is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.

From the UPW Newsroom reporting from Pasta Fagioli, Italy. UPW: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news worldwide.

Pasta e fagioli soup

Pasta E Fagioli. Image via Wikipedia