Archive for ‘WALL STREET’

January 21, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley

File:Baby.jpg

Is there anything more beautiful on God’s green Earth? The photo is by Carin Araujo, http://www.prtc.net/~carin who permits its use to the public, Mama and Papa have every right to be very proud. (2006).

When I was in high school, several young women got pregnant without benefit of marriage. Thankfully, all of the babies were healthy, happy, bouncing boys and girls.

From those happy events I concluded that the best place to conceive was in the back seat of a car.  Of course, I was much younger then.

Today, most people I know, even those who are married, conceive in more traditional locations.

Back in the day, however, we kids didn’t have access to methods of birth control. So the choices were abstention or risk it.

I recall a conversation with a young girl who was friends with one who risked it and came up short. The friendship of course was terminated. But she did say that her former friend prayed and prayed that she would not conceive.

I believe we all know by now that abstention really does work but only if you abstain. And as for prayer, well I’m sorry to disappoint any Christians who may believe otherwise, but Jesus doesn’t prevent pregnancy.  Just not in his job description.

Anyway, regardless of the circumstances, the outcome is beauty beyond compare.

***

Warning! The following paragraph contains adult material and a really nasty joke. So you won’t want to pass it up.

First marine: I gotta take a piss.

Second marine: Let’s go kill someone.

Oh my god! That really is nasty. My soul is destined for eternal damnation, I just know it.

So what the hell.

***

We hear constantly that the US owes trillions of dollars in debt to foreign nations. Did you know that the US owns debt from foreign nations equal to 89% of the debt it owes?

Now let’s go right wing stupid for just a moment, use a comparison provided by right wing propaganda the intent of which is to frighten the wits out of Americans and compare the US government’s situation with household debt.

If your neighbor owned 100% of your house but you owned 89% of his, how bad off would you be? Let’s face it, that position is a standoff.

And so it is with US foreign debt and ownership. If the US debt is called in and the US retaliates by calling the foreign debt it owns, the economy of the entire planet goes kerwoosh. The only way that will ever happen is if Wall Street can profit from it. Trouble is the fat cats are no doubt trying to figure out a way to make it happen right now.

***

Did you know that the comparison right wing economists make between the US debt and household debt would be accurate with just one stipulation.

Let’s say your wife went shopping and just bought a million dollars worth of jewelry you couldn’t pay for. However, in your study you have a printing machine that could print perfectly legal tender. In addition, you could write letters to 2000 of your neighbors and inform them that they will now have to contribute $1000.00 more to your tax fund every year. Voila’ You now have a surplus and your wife can go shopping again.

The United States Mint Police

United States Mint Police

If you had one of these parked your garage, your wife could shop 24/7. Image by cliff1066™ via Flickr

So this whole debt issue is bogus, a sham, perpetrated on an ill informed public the purpose of which is to bilk the many greenhorns among us who believe all the bullshit.

Yes the genetically defective Wall Street fat cats have engineered an all out attack on the people’s Social Security savings and are fighting a desperate battle to privatize Medicare and turn it into a profit making venture for rich investors.

Vouchers??? Oh yeah, vouchers. More Wall Street bullshit. Let’s say a voucher is worth $300.00 a month and a profit health insurance policy costs $1000.00. Guess who pays the difference? And if you can’t afford it, well, like the old Chinese laundry adage goes: “No tickey, no shirty.”

Oh, surely, you say those Wall Street mutations who resemble human beings wouldn’t let you die for lack of health insurance.

Surely it’s a different matter than letting coal miners die a mile below the surface of the earth by shortchanging safety regulations; or killing workers on oil rigs by taking the same shortcuts; or boosting nicotine levels in deadly cigarettes to ensure addiction; or polluting drinking water through the practice known as fracking.

Surely the fat cats will see to it that you get medical treatment even if you can’t afford expensive profit insurance.

OK.

***

Mitt Romney stated that if he is elected president he will stop the Chinese from stealing American intellectual property, patents and know-how. Apparently, he would prefer to have, Indonesia, India, Vietnam, Thailand, etc, etc, etc., steal it.

***

According to the website Gizmodo, there are 5,000 janitors with Ph,Ds in the US. That statistic is truly surprising. I always found janitors to be a lot smarter than that.

The article continues and reveals that numerous holders of advanced degrees have been forced to work at menial jobs.

Perhaps the country should finally admit that its economic decline has been so precipitous and so profound that it no longer needs so many highly educated people and its now time to begin shuttering some colleges and universities. I’m certain right wing extremists would relish the closings. Think of all the professors we could fire and the tax cuts the rich would rake in. The very thought must be sending chills up and down their spines every moment of every day.

Read the entire article below:

http://gizmodo.com/5671062/there-are-5000-janitors-in-the-us-with-phds

See U.S. Department of Treasury report on U.S. holding of foreign debt.

http://www.treasury.gov/press-center/press-releases/pages/tg1285.ASPX

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November 13, 2011

Committee Announces MVP Award

Pasta Fagiola, Italy

The Nobella Prize Committee announced the latest winners of its MVP award.

Glossy color postcard of Wall Street, New York...

Nice old timey picture of the Street where crime is rampant. But not street crime. White collar crime. Image via Wikipedia

The Committee gave its Most Valuable Putz prize to honor Wall Street bankers and investors who scammed millions of Americans by scarfing up untold numbers of subprime mortgages and then bundling them in to bonds called Collateralized Debt Obligations. In a twist of pure financial genius these bankers then sold the worthless bonds to unsuspecting investors many of whom were local school boards and county and state governments who bought into the scam.

The investors lost billions of dollars, destroying numerous pension funds in the process. However, the banking firms earned record profits while managing to wrest trillions of dollars in welfare payments from the taxpayer and the Fed.

The bankers of course contributed millions of dollars in protection money to the DC government and sure got their money’s worth in the deal.

A slight hitch occurred when the real estate bubble caused by these unsavory practices burst. Nevertheless the bankers made out like bandits. And nobody cares about pensions for a bunch of working slobs anymore anyway.

Congrats Wall Street bankers. You have earned your Putzie.

Winners of the MVP award receive a statuette named the PUBAR engraved with the words “Putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie the statuette is made of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winners supplies just ran out.

November 2, 2011

Nobella Committee Awards Putz Prize

Committee Gives Award in Obfuscation to Rick Perry.

Perry hits a ten on the Rickster Scale.

Perry hits a ten on the Rickster Scale.

The Nobella Prize Committee announced a few moments ago that Gov. Rick Perry of Texas has won the Putz Prize in Obfuscation.

The governor won for his impression of Archie Bunker during a statement he made on Beat the Press regarding Social Security.

The governor has referred to Social Security as a Ponzi Scheme and recommended the fund be profitized and the payroll tax turned over to Wall Street con men.

On Beat the Press however, Perry gave his clearest explanation thus far regarding his plans for Social Security which loosely translated into Italian means “private accounts or whatever.”

The Committee interviewed citizens of the US randomly and asked them to give their opinion of Perry’s most recent idea.. A resident of Queens, Mrs. Edith Bunker, commented that “whatever” has been her husband’s plan for just about everything ever since she married him.

Oh, wait til I tell Archie that Rick Perry is using his idea for Social Security.”

When hearing of the award, Perry is reported to have said: “I never obfuscated in my life. I’m a happily married man.

Social Security Poster: old man

Wait til Rick Perry gets hold of your SS money. He'll give it to Wall Street and you are gonna get rich - after fees of course. Image via Wikipedia

The Putz Prize consists of a statuette sculpted from rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard. The statuette, known the world over as the Putzie, is given to winners while supplies last. Unfortunately for Governor Perry supplies just ran out.

October 30, 2011

Nobella Committee Awards Prize

The Nobella Prize Committee Announces Winner in Duplicity Category.  Recipient Said to be Elated.

The Nobella Prize Committee today awarded the Schmuckup Prize in Duplicity to former US Speaker of the House and current GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich.  According to the committee, the former speaker has not only shown an extraordinary capacity for fornication; he also excels at prevarication.

Gingrich's official portrait as Speaker

Latest winner of the Schmuckup Prize, Newton Leroy Gingrich. Image via Wikipedia

Yes, indeed he’s an expert. One momentous example should suffice to expose Newton Leroy’s expertise in the Duplicity category. As a representative from Georgia, the Newtster voted numerous times for huge defense outlays that expanded the Federal deficit while presently decrying the deficit to which he and his Republican party cohorts were humongous contributors.

The committee decided to point out a second reason for awarding Newton Leroy the prize for Duplicity. It was just too juicy a tale to pass up.

File:Schweif eines Friesen.JPG.

Newt Gingrich is considered a “dark horse” candidate for the GOP presidential nomination. The photo is of an actual dark horse not to be confused with the former Speaker. (Photo courtesy of 4028mdk09).*


As Speaker of the House the portly pol giddily supported the impeachment of President Bill Clinton for his indiscretions while as speaker he remained quietly in the background during the proceedings. Largely due to his own blazing marital offenses and after his transgression were exposed, his in flagrante delicto behavior became scandal sheet headlines.  Being caught with his own pants down forced the Newster to keep his mighty mouth shut, a painful condition for this tongued gusher.  Under the circumstances the spicy speaker had little choice but to curl up in a corner with a blanket over his head during the entire impeachment debacle. He nevertheless secretly cheered his holier than thou GOP prosecutors on and on.  That kind on behavior, the committed noted, is Duplicity beyond the pale and another excellent reason for Newton Leroy being awarded the prize.


The Schmuckup Prize consists of a statuette called the Little Schmuckie. It is made of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard and is awarded while supplies last. Unfortunately for Newt Gingrich supplies just ran out.

Don Alfredo Vito Nobella established the Schmuckup Prize to recognize the achievements of liars, cheaters, crooks and thieves in the fields of finance, insurance and government. Over the years hundreds of thousands of members in these fields have been presented as nominees. The committee noted that tens of thousands in Washington, DC and on Wall Street qualified in 2010 alone.

Don Nobella wished to share with miscreants throughout the world some of the notoriety he earned in his insurance business. The Don still holds the record as the world’s best insurance salesmen. It was said of the Don he could close a sale with a simple knock on the door. The Don’s motto became famous across the length and breadth of Sicily: “You buy or you’re never heard from again.”

*As always, click the photo for link.

October 26, 2011

Are You Rich Yet?

Ronald Reagan brought you supply side economics.  Are you rich yet?

Bill Clinton reformed welfare.  Are you rich yet?

George Bush gave you two tax cuts.  Are you rich yet?

Alan Greenspan lowered the prime interest rate to near zero.  Are you rich yet?

Former Chairman of the Federal Reserve Alan Gr...

After committing one of the most monumental screwups in world history, the Maestro is awarded a thingy by George Bush who hasn't yet received his thingy for all of his screwups. Image via Wikipedia*

Barack Obama extended the Bush tax cuts.  Are you rich yet?

Ben Bernanke purchased trillions of dollars of worthless CDOs from Wall Street banks.  Are you rich yet?

Official portrait of Federal Reserve Chairman ...

Nice beard. Oh, yeah right. He's that Fed Chairman guy.

Obama gave you a payroll tax cut.  Are you rich yet?

Obama saved Wall Street for the sake of Main Street.  Are you rich yet?

All of the above actions enriched the richest 1% and saved them trillions of dollars in bank assets.  Are you rich yet?

Wall Street outlaws pay millions of dollars in protection money to the mobsters in DC we euphemistically refer to as Congress. And there’s a lot more scratch where that came from so long as the mobsters continue to play ball. There’s no indication the crooked game will ever end.

Alan Greenspan – Ayn Rand cultist, compulsive deregulationist and everybody’s favorite candidate for the mangled English prize –  committed a spectacularly monumental blunder by failing to recognize a housing bubble almost as big as his nose, until the damn thing burst in his face.  President Bush is seen awarding Alan the Baronial Medal of Stupidity, I mean the Presidential Medal of Freedom.  You actually get an award for being one of the central characters that caused the collapse of the global economy.*

*(Alan Greenspan was also honored with the Schmuckup Prize in Economics awarded by the Nobella Prize Committee in September 2009.

The Committee, whose hideout is located in Pasta Fagioli, a village nestled deep in the Italian Alps, grants awards from time to time to deserving individuals in the arts, sciences and government or just about anything else whenever it feels like it.

The Schmuckup Prize consists of a statuette known as the Little Schmuckie and is made of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.  The Little Schmuckie is given to winners of the award while supplies last.  Unfortunately for Alan supplies ran out the day he was awarded the prize.

Alan has also been nominated for Shit Eatingest Grin of the Decade.  We stand breathless awaiting the committees decision on the winner).

Related articles

October 16, 2011

The DC Folly Trolley – 10/16/11

White House Issues Medical Bulletin.

President Barack Obama has suffered a recurrence of BTBS or Big Toe Blister Syndrome. The president was stricken with the condition early this morning. The flare ups on the president’s big toe have recurred on a regular basis in recent months and usually coincide with protest marches. The condition prevents Obama from fulfilling his campaign promise to march on the lines with the protesters.

File:US Navy 030820-N-9593R-083 The main entrance to treatment facilities at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md.jpg

The National Naval Medical Center at Bethesda, Maryland where all presidents will be treated for medical conditions.

***

Obama’s advisers are looking for ways to exploit and manipulate OWS for their own political purposes. Polls are showing massive discontent with Wall Street and the banks. And the anger crosses party lines.

Soooooo. The president – now get this for it’s a sure sign that an election year is approaching – directly criticized a bank, a bank for God’s sake, for threatening to charge its customers with a $5 debit card fee. Obama said that’s the sort of stuff that makes people mad.  Good populist move.  Golly, gee Obamaman, the Big Goombah in the White House is really getting testy.

Advisers are expected to gather up all of the OWS frustration into one giant terd ball and throw it at Mitt Romney and hope some of it sticks.

I mean, like, Romney is the quintessential Wall Street rich guy and to the president’s credit he did sign some law stuff they called financial reform.  Can’t get enough populism in an election year.

Problem for the pres. though is that the Einsteins in the White House usually throw stuff into the wind.

Recall that Obama once referred to Wall Street fat cats as Wall Street fat cats and received so much criticism from Wall Street fat cats that he had to hire a Wall Street fat cat to offset all the criticism.

Ahhh, politics in Follyland, DC.

***

Regardless of party affiliation there’s a 99% chance you are part of the 99%.  The throng in the photo, estimated at 20.000, gathered in Times Square as a show of support for Occupy Wall Street.

Many Republicans, finally, are coming to the realization that they are among the 99%. After all, those outrageous bank fees rip them off as well as Democrats and Independents.

About Occupy Wall Street

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

***

Joe Biden has served his usefulness as Vice President. He was brought on because of his foreign policy experience, an area in which Obama was sorely lacking.  Not any more though.  Got a problem with a foreign country?  Launch a few drones.  That’ll teach ’em.  Can’t say Obama isn’t a fast learner.  Helps if the countries have oil and gas reserves though like Libya.  I mean why waste a good drone if they don’t.  Those things cost money.

Oh yeah, speaking of Biden, Obama now has four years of dealing with foreign affairs so for this alone Biden is baggage. The Veep is also from a small state that can’t help much in the electoral college.  And if the polar cap keeps melting there might not even be a Delaware in 2012.

I’m not sure how much a Clintonista brings to the ticket. Hillary would help to solidify the women’s vote – one that leaned heavily toward Obama in 2008 but may now be showing signs of weakness.  Now matter how much they love you, sooner or later you gotta deliver the goods.

Moreover, Hillary is from a large traditionally blue state and could help the ticket in this instance, particularly since Obama is showing weakness across the board and can’t take anything for granted.

In 2016, the next year a presidential slot opens for a Democrat, Hillary would be 68, still not too old to run.

The VP would be 73 in 2016 and borderline in the age category. Age aside, even a gaffe-less Biden would face an uphill battle.

Since there is no hope of a liberal being appointed VP, Hillary remains the better choice.

Will it come to pass? Probably not. Biden is a DC politico. Lusting for the presidency is ingrained in the DNA of Follyland critters. No way will Biden take a hit for the team. He’ll have to be forced out and Obama simply doesn’t have the balls to do it.

Nevertheless, the VP needs to be dumped off on Foggy Bottom.

***

Have you heard? It’s almost semi-official. The US will be withdrawing all troops from Iraq by the end of 2011.

Now we can start a war somewhere else. Lotsa places to choose from. Let’s see. How about Uganda? Not sure where in the world that is? Ask Sarah Palin. She’s a wiz at geography.  Once called Africa a country.  But she does know where it’s located.  Hey, somewhere on the planet is close enough for Sarah. Give the kid a break.

Oh by the way. Here’s another have you heard item? All troops leaving Iraq will report directly to Uganda.  We’re starting another war. This one’s in that African country rumored by the CIA to have several billion barrels of oil in the ground. And not a minute too soon since we’re pulling out of Iraq by the end of the year.

Hope the new war is on TV.  Wars make really good reality shows.  They’re so real.  Great for ratings too.

I can’t wait to watch another war on TV.

And a side benefit: Wars always garner support for incumbent presidents. Something Obama sorely needs.

And since we give our wars some real cool names how about this: The empire strikes again to make the world safe for freedom and democracy.

***

You’ve probably heard by now that some twenty thousand people assembled in Times Square as a show of support for the Occupy Wall Street Movement. And hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, have assembled in cities across the globe for the same reason.

But did you know that even the Mainstream Media has heard about it. Yep, that’s right. The millionaires on TV news and talk entertainment shows can’t pretend any longer that the movement doesn’t exist. Try as they might the MSM just hasn’t been able to avoid covering the movement. Maybe they’ll try a little harder in the next few days.