Posts tagged ‘Ann Romney’

October 14, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 10/13/13

Committee On Shutdown.

10/11/13, Pasta Fagioli, Italy

The Nobella Prize Committee shutdown today when members refused to award prizes.

Committee member Pollo Cacciatore, who spoke under condition of strict anonymity, said his colleagues felt they were being overtaxed due to the heavy workload. The Committee is receiving nominations in record numbers.

Moreover, due to austerity measures imposed by the Executive Board of Directors, members have been furloughed one day a week and have suffered a 20% cut in pay.

Negotiations between members and the Executive Board ended in a stalemate and no new meetings have been scheduled. There is no end in sight to the shutdown.

Meanwhile, screening applications for nominees for the Most Valuable Putz Prize, which numbered in the tens of thousands over the intervening weeks, have been stalled. A member of the Executive Board indicated no date has been set for renewing the process for evaluating submissions.

putsie 1

The Putzie, sticking it to winners who earned the prize. Will the committee allow the member to go flaccid?

Unreliable News Worldwide has learned through a series of leaks the names of a number of hopefuls.

Among the nominees for the Putzie were Sen. Ted Cruz (his second nomination); Speaker of the House John Boehner (lost count); Rand Paul (R-KY); Renee Ellmers (R-NC); Louie Gohmert (some guy from Texas, where else); Steve Pearce (R-NM); Ann Romney (screen tested for the role of Catwoman in a Batman movie)

Gohmert was nominated for the prize in Mythology for his discovery that John McCain (R-AZ) was a supporter of the terrorist group al Qaeda.

Millionaire Steve Pearce received his nomination in Banksterism for his advice to furloughed government employees to seek loans in the free market from banks willing to lend money without collateral. The free market allows borrowers to shop for the most competitive interest rates, some reportedly as low as 330%.

Ellmers served her state proudly when she voted to furlough 800,000 federal workers and then refused to defer her own paycheck because as she said, she needed $174,000 to pay for her hair stylist.

ellmers

Renee Ellmers (R-NC) pockets her $174,000 per year paycheck during the government shutdown.

Romney received her nomination for accusing voters of causing the government shutdown. There was widespread agreement among Republicans with her statement.

Damned if you do; damned if you don’t. Let’s face it, if you don’t vote in America, you can’t go wrong.

Nobella Committee member Cinque Formaggi Gorgonzola, who also spoke anonymously, said members voted to pay their salaries during the shutdown. Bills for cell phones, gymnasium memberships and country club dues would be paid as well. However, members agreed to limit visits to bordelli to one a day. The latter concession is expected to save thousands of euros weekly.

Marcy Popindick, Senior Foreign Affairs Correspondent for Unreliable News Worldwide, asked Gorgonzola if he wasn’t referring to the U.S. House of Representatives in his statement.

Magari,” he said. “How you say, eets a not a too clear over here a whats a going on over der a.”

.

http://www.forwardprogressives.com/house-republican-refuses-to-defer-pay-during-shutdown-says-i-need-my-paycheck/

.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/11/
louie-gohmert-john-mccain_n_4086201.html?ref=topbar

.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/11/
steve-pearce-furloughed-workers_n_4086260.html?ref=topbar

.

http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/10/04/ann-romney-blames-obama-voters-government-shutdown/

***

Rats On Mars.

No, really. The NASA rover currently roving over the Red Planet discovered rodents among the rocks on the Fourth Planet from the Sun.

According to a statement from an NASA spokesperson, the rat in the photo is a member of a huge colony living on the surface of Mars.

The rats, he said, speak a peculiar language, similar to the one spoken in Follyland, DC. NSA code breakers are said to be working feverishly in an effort to translate the unfamiliar tongue.

One thing clear from the NSA efforts to date, however, is that the rats on Mars, unlike their brothers in Follyland, have a functioning government.

http://www.examiner.com/article/
extraterrestrials-nasa-rover-shows-mars-rodent?cid=taboola_inbound

***

Make Mine A Double.

Republican lawmakers were spotted entering saloons in the Follyland area in in astonishingly high numbers last week. According to witnesses, the GOPers were observed entering in a sober state and left drunk.

So heavy was the drinking that residents in some areas of the city were reporting a strange smelling stench hanging over their neighborhoods. One resident said the miasma stank of beer, bourbon and vomit.

A Congressman who thought he might be from Texas and who spoke in a language similar to the one spoken by rats on Mars, said he didn’t care a human’s ass about what happened in the House of Representatives, he was going to vote in favor of the taxpayer picking up his bar tab.

The important work of Congress must go on,” he said.

http://truth-out.org/buzzflash/commentary/item/
18235-conason-republican-extremists-shredding-principle

***

Obama; Amabo. Wrong Way O!

During one of his weekly radio thingies, President Obama told the American people what hundreds of millions of us already know: Forces are conspiring against the middle class.

Duh!

What the president left unsaid is that he is one of those forces.

Consider. Obama has led the charge to cut Social Security and Medicare, two extremely successful and well funded government programs that working people depend on during their retirement years.

Obama is also cheerleader-in-chief for the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP), a trade agreement described as “NAFTA on steroids.”

Using his usual modus vivendi, the president is once again sneaking behind the backs of the American people trying desperately to keep deeply secret negotiations over this poisonous trade scam, one that poses the greatest of all threats against working people. The TPP abomination will drive the final nail into the coffin of the middle class.

bad hair day

The president showing great concern for the affairs swirling around him. “Oh, poopy,” he said. “Another bad hair day.”

Obama’s Labor Day paean to the working people is one with his classic diversionary tactics. It’s the way the man operates. He comes to praise the middle class, then to bury it.

While his aides were preparing the phony acclaim, Obama was no doubt burnishing his foot long stiletto which he intends to shove squarely between the shoulder blades of every working man and woman in the country.

Quo vadis, Obama? Need we even ask?  He is firmly entrenched in the 1%.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Advertisements
May 12, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley

Congress is holding a buy one, get one half off sale this week.  That’s right.  Buy one vote at full price; get half off the second vote.  Better hurry.  Sale ends Saturday.

File:National Statuary Hall Collection.jpg

National Statuary Hall

***

Marriage is the union between a man and woman who have just entered into the first stage of divorce.

I voted against the marriage ban in NC.  Why should gays be any better off than the rest of us?

The real losers of the ban vote were the divorce lawyers.  Gay marriage would be a cash cow for them.

Most of Perdue’s problems resulted from having to deal with a Republican legislature – one which overrode several of her vetoes.  For the first time in a hundred years both houses of the legislatures were GOP dominated.  Of course, the Republicans needed the votes of five backstabbing Democrats to override.

The vote for the ban on gay marriage in NC was so lopsided I think only divorce lawyers voted against.  And me.

I wonder how many divorced people in NC voted to preserve the sanctity of the institution by banning gay marriage.  Probably a slew.

NC is filled with hypocrites who vote social issues while ignoring the economics of politics even if it harms themselves, their children and their grandchildren.  Go figure.

Prediction:  The state returns to the Republican column after Romney proposes an amendment to the Federal Constitution to ban gay marriage .  The amendment will fail of course, but the hypocrites will salivate with uncontrollable joy.  Holy rollers, Batman.

***

Ann Romney buys $990.00 silk tee shirts.  When she’s tired of one she takes it to the Salvation Army Store and gets a receipt she can use as a $980.00 tax deduction.  All is not as it first appears.

***

Here’s a phrase from the Bible that Wall Street lives by:  Strike first the other’s cheek; and when he turns strike again.  Can’t seem to find the chapter and verse it comes from though.

***

Walmart has been accused of bribery in Mexico.  I find that hard to believe.  In America, that’s called politics.

***

On a recent vacation the Romney family packed the SUV so full of $990.00 tee shirts and other stuff, there was no room for the dog – or for Mitt.  So they were both tied to the roof of the car.  Since there was only room enough in the kennel for the dog, they tied Dad directly to the car.  Not to worry though.  They gave Mitt a blanket and lots of sunscreen.

When they arrived at their destination, however, Mitt was so pissed off he began smashing TV cameras.  Apparently, riding on the roof of the car messed up his coif.

***

Palm greasing in the nation’s capital has replaced baseball as the national pastime.

At least the Washington Nationals play by the rules.

As for everybody else in Follyland, there are no rules.

***

Killing bin Laden was an important day in Barack Obama’s presidency.  Can you think of another one?

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

***

Despite his successes, Obama’s failures seem to be rising to the surface.  Three missteps in particular are standouts:  His failure to pursue adequate stimulus, the abandonment of the  public option and settling for weak financial reform.

***

Actress Susan Sarandon, a political activist, believes her phone has been tapped by the government.

An Oscar winning actress and a fine looking woman, Susan Sarandon.

You might want to check the shower head for cameras.  UPW News reports some members of the Department of Homeland Security believe that numerous anti-government plots have been hatched by naked women showering.

***

The sad thing about the Walmart bribery case is that the Mexicans would have taken half; and Walmart would have paid double.

***

Mitt Romney – the uncaped crusader – is taking credit for the success of the auto bailout.  If you think he said what he said he said, that’s not what he said.  He said what he said was the car companies should declare bankruptcy.  And he said that’s exactly what they did and that’s what he said they should do.   What he said, however, left out an important element of what actually occurred; and that is government loans to the tune of billions of dollars were given to the credit starved companies and that is what saved the now profitable US auto industry.

What Romney said and what he said he said were actually two different things, if you can believe Romney would actually do such a thing.  What you think he said is not what he said, he said.  He’s not really sure what he said, but if I think he said what he said I think he said the free market should run its course and the industry should be left to swing in the wind.

But that’s been the basis of the Uncaped Crusader’s whole campaign.  Learn what his base really believes and then join in the chorus; read the morning newspaper and if there’s some good news, make a speech and take credit for it.

Want the naked truth about Romney:  This emperor truly has no clothes (with the possible exception of $990.00 tee shirts).

***

Some gazillionaire wants Obama to make a speech about how really, really nice rich people are.  And why not?  Even a tyrannosaur needs a little loving once in a while.

***

JPMorgan Chase just blew another couple billion dollars on some really shitty investments.  But that could be the tip of the iceberg – or should I say the shit pile.  Billions more could be buried deep in that pile.

Oh well.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  Besides, Jamie Dimon, the CEO, is real good friends with Barack Obama.  A chit chat with the pres should rake in enough taxpayer dollars to cover any JP shortfall.

JPMorgan Chase, you see, is too big to fail.  It’s still not too big to fuck up, however.

***

After Pennsylvania residents who live near a fracking zone complained of contaminated water, EPA tests declared the water safe for human consumption.  An EPA spokesman encouraged residents to follow the agency’s guideline:  If you light a match under the kitchen faucet and the water catches fire don’t drink it.