Posts tagged ‘Antonin Scalia’

August 4, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 08-04/13

Game Or Reality.

There’s been lots of fuss lately about the new banker’s version of Monopoly. The game will eliminate the “get out of jail free” card but will include a “bribe your Congress critters” card so you don’t have to go to jail in the first place.

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The approval rating of Congress has just dipped below that of genital herpes.

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Holy God!!!

Justice Antonin Scalia agreed with Pope Francis’s announcement that he would not judge gay priests. Scalia’s statement that judging gays only makes things worse places him in a position at the right hand of the pope where he now sitteth. The justice however sadly admitted that his new seat was a demotion since previously, so he claimed,  he sat at the right hand of God.

One of the most activist justices in Supreme Court history lost his position next to the Supreme Being after he displeased the Deity when he made a statement declaring the Holocaust was brought on by judicial activism. We all know the justice’s reasoning is upside down, inside out and backwards yet not necessarily hair-brained. It seems Scalia made the statement after God told him not to. His actions mark the first time the judge disobeyed God’s instructions.

scalia

Who is God to tell Scalia what to think anyway?

In his own defense, the judge said he misunderstood the words his Heavenly Father spoke to him.

According to a spokesperson, the justice made a good confession asking forgiveness.

The penitential plea went unheeded, however, because God was out drinking the day before and was unavailable for comment for at least 24 hours.

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The Bells Are Ringing For….

Mitch McConnell (R-KY) offered today to officiate at the nuptials of Sens. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and John McCain (R-AZ).

According to a spokesperson, the Kentucky senator believes that his two colleagues are getting along so well that they should consider joining together in holy matrimony.

cupid

The Matchmaker.

The Senate was expected to pass a resolution today giving its blessing to the union. However, a squabble erupted between the happy couple when they couldn’t come to an agreement about who should assume the role of the bride during the ceremony.

The Republican caucus issued a statement indicating that it would filibuster the ceremony if Sen. McCain was not granted the bride’s part during the nuptials.

The Schumer camp was said to be studying the latest proposal submitted by the Republicans. To date, a solution of the matter has eluded both parties.

A spokesman for McCain said the senator will reach across the aisle in an attempt to achieve a workable compromise. One such offer proposed a two ceremony event with the participants reversing roles during the exchange of vows.

The Democrats are now in caucus and reports from the meeting indicate that Harry Reid has the votes to override a Republican filibuster. He would, however, be forced to resort to the so-called “nuclear option” that requires only a simple majority for a resolution to pass.

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The Happy Couple.

Democrats opposed to the nuclear option are delaying a vote which, if a few remaining details can be ironed out, could come as early as tomorrow morning.

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breaking news

breaking news

A vote on the McCain/Schumer nuptials could be delayed further as a new dispute unexpectedly arose between the two parties. Republicans insisted that identical wedding gowns be worn by the blessed couple during the two ceremonies..

Sen. McCain chose a striking satin, organza strapless ensemble with a roched bodice, corset back and bustled skirt.

Schumer retorted that a gown of the type the GOP wanted made him look fat. He offered to wear a form fitted satin affair with a trailing lace train.

Representatives of both camps were scheduled to meet in a hastily scheduled conference committee to iron out differences.

However, Democrats were said to be outraged by leaks apparently emanating from Republican staff members. The leaks described in detail the types of gowns selected by the two brides before an agreement was reached. Schumer was depicted as being particularly distressed by the leaks.

The senator from New York raged that nothing is sacred in Washington anymore: “First the Manning leaks, then Snowden and now this tragic offense against national security.”

Word is expected shortly from conference committee members regarding a compromise deal that would allow the weddings to proceed.

A McConnell staffer said the committee was working under deadline pressure since the wedding had to take place as originally scheduled or the Kentucky senator would be forced to back out of his officiating commitment due to schedule conflicts.

If agreement could not be reached by tomorrow afternoon at the latest, the wedding would be delayed indefinitely.

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God Save The Senate.

Everybody else has given up.

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A Cake Of A Different Cheese.

Another Cheesecake Day has come and gone. Here’s a paean to those golden, olden days.

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Carry me back to the days of cheesecake
The gals showed enough, you knew they weren’t fake.
A little thigh here
Some shoulder there.
Carry me back for a short retake.
nat
 

Natalie Wood as Gypsy from the movie of the same name.

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Recall the movie of Gypsy Rose Lee
I will still watch it occasionally.
She came to town to perform once live.
I couldn’t get in, I was only five.
It was cheesecake for sure, she showed barely a knee.
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Only the sheriff’s admission was free.
He’d make certain not much you’d see.
No fig leafs over parts of glory.
That’s for another time and story.
They’d cover with raiments from an old silk tree.
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The scarves about would flow and float.
Showing glimpses of bodies on stages remote.
The drums would beat with a rhythm jive.
But alas I was only five.
I recall her photos in a furry coat.
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And when I grew cheesecake was lost.
You now see all for a modest cost.
Gone are the days of the simple tease.
When gals would gyrate and pleasantly please.
Those days are lost like old movies tossed.

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Well, it’s praise for the wrong cheesecake for sure. The day celebrates the edible variety.

cheese

Blueberry Cheesecake.

Thanks to MadKane for the alert.

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/category/

limerick-offs/

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Larry The Blunder Guy.

You have to wonder how men who are brilliant and who ride their brilliance to riches can be so naive and sometimes just plain dumb. Enter Larry “don’t rock the boat” Summers.

SUMMERS

Of all of the tragic blunders committed by this economics genius, among the worst is his underestimation of the depth and duration of the Great Recession.

Woefully, he advocated for a tragically anemic stimulus that proved to be inadequate to deal with the prolonged downturn. His blatant mistake, destined to fail and pointed out repeatedly by numerous economists, is largely responsible for the despair his policy inflicted on a once prosperous middle class.

The bad advice he brazenly offered to President Obama and his deregulation mania, an aberration that resulted in the collapse of Enron and eventually a near total destruction of the world’s economy, now qualify him to be Chairman of the Federal Reserve, at least according to the president.

Only in America.

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Do You Say it Right?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/31/

common-mispronunciations-video_n_3683218.html

Disirregardless of all pedanticism aside, the word is chawklate and not chockolate. Then there’s vanella, melk, arange, Long Giland, Noo Yawk, Joisey, 5th Avnya and Terdy Terd Street. And if you ain’t bin ta da Bronx you ain’t bin nowheres, pal.  

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July 1, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 06/30/12

I’m getting my dog a photo ID. He was born in this country so he’s a citizen and has rights. After seeing pictures of the way the Romney’s treat animals, Fletcher is determined to vote in this year’s election.

Gotta give Fletch credit. And he’s got more brains than a lot of people who’ll be voting.

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In a 5-4 decision, the five Republican justices on the Supreme Court declared global warming unconstitutional. According to reporters, Mother Nature refused to comment on the decision. However, observers expect planet Earth to defy the Hight Court’s ruling.

In a similar vein, the Republican dominated North Carolina legislature banned the phenomenom known as sea level rising from the Atlantic Ocean.

File:Hurricanhugo.jpg

It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature. She always has the last word.

OK, not exactly. But the legislators did forbid scientists from reporting data on rising sea levels. It seems developers will lose millions of dollars if buyers fear purchasing real estate that will soon be under water. Not underwater on a mortgage mind you, but literally under water.

The data are also harmful to the lodging industry. People will begin taking their affairs – vacation, business and otherwise – elsewhere.

It seems “ocean front property” is taking on a whole new meaning. As sea levels rise, ocean front property will be moving – inland.

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UPW Senior Political Reporter Marcy Popindick revealed the real story behind the Supreme Court’s decision to uphold the Affordable Care Act in an exclusive report filed just moments ago.

The five right wing wackos justices on the Court were fearful of the consequences – people might think they were little more than GOP political hacks – if they struck down Robamneycare. They decided among themselves that one them would have to take the hit and vote with the four liberals on the bench. Accordingly, Chief Justice John Roberts decided the fairest means to select the judge who would take the fall was to do one potato, two potato.

Antonin Scalia - Caricature

Antonin Scalia – Caricature (Photo credit: DonkeyHotey)

Justice Antonin Scalia’s luck ran out and he was selected to vote with the liberals. However, when Scalia began to weep uncontrollably, Roberts swallowed hard and realized that as Chief Justice the buck stopped with him. So he voted with the liberals and now everybody gets to live with the half-soaked corporate written health insurance program popularly referred to as Obamacare that needed to be reformed the day it was signed into law.

Single-payer anyone?

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I guess everybody’s seen or purchased a “feel good” church sponsored barbecue chicken dinner to help some poor child without health insurance pay for medical bills so the child can receive the care she needs.

I’ve said this before but it bears repeating because these “feel good” dinners are conducted by a bunch of Christian assholes who have voted repeatedly to deny full medical benefits to children (and to many adult Americans) and are fully prepared to vote again and again to continue to deny the health care that so many kids need but can’t afford. In many cases, the very parents of these kids have voted to deny their own children necessary care when the time comes. You can’t get any stupider than that.

File:Chicken BBQ.jpg

Nothing wrong with selling a barbecued chicken dinner to help a volunteer fire department. To do so to pay for a child’s medical bills is an indication of a society’s distorted values. (Photo by orchidgalore via Flickr).

So these assholes sponsor a “feel good” barbecue chicken dinner and purchase a meal that costs six dollars and raises a couple of hundred bucks toward a medical bill that could easily run into the tens of thousands of dollars. Guess it makes them feel real good to buy one of these underdone, ill-prepared, poultry platters. As for me, every time I see one these “charity” affairs, it makes my blood boil.

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Speaking of assholes, a group of whatcha call your fundamentalist Christians read from the Bible and prayed that the Supreme Court would declare Robamneycare unconstitutional. God didn’t answer their prayers. Oddly, he never does. No doubt that’s because these phony “doo-gooders” often pray to inflict ill on their fellow man so they’re just not God’s kinda people. Bet they sponsor feel good barbecue chicken dinners though.

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CEO pay jumped 12 percent last year. Pay packages ran from $7.2 million to $16.5 million. And that’s just for the bank screw-ups who dumped the planet’s economy into a huge sinkhole. Many got even more.

Well, they’ve gotta live on something, don’t they?

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The meek will inherit the earth. But not before the rich own heaven.

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If you’re a monkey you’re in luck. Scientists have found a cure for the fatal hemorrhagic disease caused by the Ebola virus – but the serum works only for our ancestral anthropoids.

A cure for humans is not expected until 2014.

The disease is prevalent in Africa, so if you have plans for a fun trip to the inner sanctums of the continent once called “dark”, you might want to postpone the journey for a few years. Better safe than sorry.

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Here’s experience you won’t find listed on Mitt Romney’s resume.

  • Signed legislation establishing Romneycare in Massachusetts – a law that includes the individual mandate.
  • Bain Capital CEO who earned countless millions of dollars for himself and investors buying and selling companies for profit often causing hard working Americans to lose their jobs, benefits and pensions.
  • Outsourced numerous jobs – an on-going program that earned millions for investors at the cost of jobs for American workers.

We all know these activities are an indelible part of Romney’s notorious background. The question that remains is where will Mighty Mitt strike next.

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Republicans make so many stupid remarks it’s hard to keep up. Here’s one from some right wing nobody who was the official campaign spokesman for Rep. Nan Hayworth (R-NY). Angered that Democratic senators of the fair sex are calling the Republican war on women the Republican war on women, this fella urged his fellow GOP extremists to “hurl some acid at those female Democratic senators.”

In took nearly a week and a boatload of criticism, but Hayworth, in a rare act of decency for a Republican, finally got around to firing the dufus she appointed as spokesman for her campaign.

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If you were following the oral arguments in the ACA case, you are probably aware of the “broccoli” analogy Justice Antonin Scalia used to outfox an unprepared Solicitor General. He asked that if the government could force citizens to buy health insurance, could it not force them to eat broccoli? The answer, of course, is yes it could under certain circumstances.

English: The United States Supreme Court, the ...

English: The United States Supreme Court, the highest court in the United States, in 2010. Top row (left to right): Associate Justice Sonia Sotomayor, Associate Justice Stephen G. Breyer, Associate Justice Samuel A. Alito, and Associate Justice Elena Kagan. Bottom row (left to right): Associate Justice Clarence Thomas, Associate Justice Antonin Scalia, Chief Justice John G. Roberts, Associate Justice Anthony Kennedy, and Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In a dissent to Chief Justice Roberts’ opinion, Justice Ruth Bader argued brilliantly that the Commerce Clause did, in fact, apply. Striking down Roberts’ analogy with auto insurance which is unnecessary if you choose not to own a motor vehicle, Bader insisted that at some point everyone will require medical care and that necessity demands a person buy protection against what is an almost certain eventuality (perhaps the only exception being instant death due to an accident.  Read the Article at HuffingtonPost).

To my way of thinking, justification for the so-called “broccoli argument” needn’t rest solely on the authority of the Commerce Clause. The broad powers of the Necessary and Proper Clause could be employed to justify legislation permitting the Department of Health and Human Services to carry out its mandate to protect the public.

Therefore broccoli (and health insurance) could, also, be considered a public health issue, If, for example, broccoli proved to be a cure for a contagious, fatal disease, the Congress could rightfully force all citizens to eat the vegetable. Indeed, it would be obligated to do so to protect the public health since refusing to eat broccoli would be a matter of life and death for millions of Americans. The same reasoning could be applied to health insurance since lack of it could also be a matter of life and death to any number of citizens.

Hopefully, the veggie could be synthesized and taken in pill or vaccine form. In that case, government would subsidize a program for those who could not afford to pay.

Now if you think the public health analogy describes a hypothetical situation, you are right. However, Scalia’s question also raised a hypothetical circumstance.

Moreover, government does already force people to receive medical care. Required immunization is a case in point.

Yes, people can refuse immunization. However, they and their children must remain separate from the community. For example, they are not permitted to enroll in public schools or colleges. In other words, they pay a penalty for non-compliance with the law.

However, I was thinking along somewhat different lines than vaccinations for common childhood diseases. For example, a deadly bacterium or virus that threatened whole populations. As a matter of life and death, we alI certainly hope government would exercise its power to force people to take a preventative..

Government could indeed pay for the cure using its taxing power. And I think that may be what Roberts was alluding to in his decision. However, during a public emergency, government has vast powers and they could be exercised either through the Commerce Claus or the Necessary and Proper Clause, as well as the taxing power.

I’m neither jurist nor lawyer. However, I would expect, even demand, government act swiftly to protect its citizens in case of such an emergency.

The only exception I would make would be for Antonin Scalia. He can do whatever he wants. My guess is that he would be first in line and screw the Constitution.

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I thought the next president would be the first billion dollar chief executive. That was wrong. He will be the first multi-billion dollar president. It’s clear now as never before that the path to the White House is paved with dollars – billions of dollars.

Now we have the President of the United States dialing for baksheesh. How pathetic and disgraceful.

Yet to win in politics, you gotta have the geetus.

Begging for baksheesh.

Only in America.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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April 21, 2012

Random Musings

Oh, no!  Heeee’s baaaaaaack!

Dick Cheney called the Obama presidency a disaster.

And that from the “master of disaster”, the chief architect of the worst administration in US history.

Coming from the designer of unmitigated disasters, the statement is more than a bit ironic.  The Bush-Cheney regime was worst ever bar none.  The Republicans would do well to keep this guy isolated in the mountains of Wyoming, deep in the winter snows and, if they’re really lucky, maybe buried under an avalanche.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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During the presentation portion of the challenge to the Affordable Care Act, Justice Antonin Scalia expressed particular interest in the power of the Federal government to force a citizen to purchase a health insurance policy from private insurance companies.

photograph of the justices, cropped to show Ju...

Scalia reasoned that if the government could force a person to purchase health insurance what would prevent it from forcing its citizens to eat broccoli.

The answer of course is that if broccoli cured a fatal contagious disease, the government would be obligated to force the entire population of the country to eat the vegetable in order to prevent a deadly epidemic. I daresay Scalia would be among the very first to stuff his mouth with the green stuff.

 Come to think of it, that’s not a bad idea.  And, who can tell, a mouth full of broccoli might even improve his appearance.  It would certainly prevent him from asking inane questions during oral arguments.

Moreover, while the spread of a fatal disease is a matter of life and death to many, lack of health insurance presents the same choice for millions who can’t afford expensive and inadequate profit  policies.

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A man was recounting his woes

But discovered he hadn’t enough toes.

His fingers joined the count

As his woes began to mount

From courting ten women trouble flows.

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A gal was recounting her woes

She invested in stock that soon froze

It soared with the bubble

Then crumbled to rubble

So that’s how the market wind blows.

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A guy was recounting his woes

To a barmaid with runs in her hose

She said, honey, I’ve heard all the tales

And listened to so many wails

But still can’t buy clothes for my toes.

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Unemployment Ahead for Many Doctors

Scientists believe they have discovered a vaccine that will help the immune system detect and destroy many types of cancer cells.

According to Richard Gray of The Telegraph, researchers at Tel Aviv University in conjunction with a company called Vaxil Biotheraputics discovered a molecule called MUC1 which is a component of cells both cancerous and healthy.  Cancer cells contain high levels of the molecules which exist at much lower levels in healthy cells.

File:Basal cell carcinoma.jpg

A cancer cell.  A protein called MUC1 coats the surfaces of all cells.  It reproduces rapidly in cancer cells.  The new vaccine would “teach” the human immune system to attack the MUC1 protein in malignant tumors.

Scientists believe the new vaccine can “teach” the immune system to attack and destroy the large quantities of the molecule produced by cancerous tumors.

The development looks promising but raises the question of what type of work oncologists will pursue once the vaccine proves effective in treating and curing many cancers.

In response to the employment crisis that may arise among doctors currently practicing oncology, the Sardo Institute of Higher Learning has developed a specialty course designed to teach former doctors how to sell used cars for fun and profit.  As in the medical profession, doctors will be permitted to set their own fees regardless of the ability of buyers to pay for  them.

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According to an article published in Science Daily, a noted research scientist believes that intelligent life exists on other planets but may well be in the form of dinosaurs.  Dr. Ronald Breslow theorizes that the correct combination of D-amino acids and L-sugars could give rise to intelligent life on any planet suitable for life to exist.

On earth mammalian life came to dominate the landscape only because a huge meteor wiped out the dinosaurs.  Without these voracious predators to determine the survival of the fittest, mammalian life proliferated and soon evolved into the most violent and predacious creature known to man.  Yes, that’s right.  It’s the human being – that rapaciously destructive creature who hubristically refers to himself as homo sapiens sapiens or wise, wise man.  A better moniker might be homo tyranno-simian or man the terrible monkey.

Well, I guess we’re at least wise enough to theorize that on other planets, where mammals became extinct because no meteor impacted the planet, dinosaurs became the dominant life form.  So much for homo sapiens sapiens.

Such an eventually, however, gives rise to certain questions, for example, do tyrannosaurs on a planet far, far away worship a god?  Is it the same God we worship?  Does the God have a chosen group of dinosaurs?  Was there a T-Rex named Abraham?  Who had a son named Issac?  Did the chosen dinosaurs escape from bondage?  Did they have a promised land?  And a messiah?  Was the messiah crucified?  How do you crucify a T-Rex?

This could go on forever.  But you get my drift.

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Scientists at the Sardo Institute of Higher Learning have discovered exactly what it was that Eve ate in the Garden of Eden to piss off God so much that He expelled her and Adam from paradise.

File:Man's Sin, and God's Promise (Bible Card).jpg

The plants at the base of the tree are believed to be hemp.  Scientists found traces of tetrahydrocannabinol, an ingredient of the plant, in an olive jar at the dig site.

It was not a fruit at all but a plant called hemp that grew at the base of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Archeologists at the dig in the delta where the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers join discovered a Zippo lighter in the area believed to be the location of the Garden.  The lighter has been carbon dated to approximately 5000 BCE, the time when Adam and Eve lived in the area.

According to a text discovered in another olive oil jar uncovered at the site and written by an ancient monk named Rasaphram, the story of the temptation by a serpent is now considered to be historical fact.  A member of a Middle Eastern tribe called the Rasaphrites, Rasaphram writes that Satan, a snake, who at the time walked on two feet, appeared to Eve and said to her that the hemp growing beneath the tree would make her a goddess.  Before the snake could stop her, Eve put a handful of the hemp in her mouth and began to chew it.  She soon spit it out because the plant had an extremely bitter taste even for a weed.

Rasaphram next writes that Satan said to Eve:  “You don’t eat it, asshole, you roll it up and smoke it.”

The snake then flicked his Zippo.

Since it was some really good stuff, she gave Adam a couple of puffs.  Soon, while Eve was scooping up after all of the dinosaurs (yes ladies, there was housework in the Garden of Eden and Eve did it all), Adam was riding around on his T-Rex all day smoking hemp.

When God discovered that the two creatures he had recently made from dust had stolen his best stuff, he became enraged and expelled the thieves from the Garden.

And now every time they had sex, Adam had to use a condom or Eve would get pregnant, throw up and have all kinds of pain whenever she delivered a baby.

And that, boys and girls, is the true story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

Just one more thing.  Adam stole some of God’s plants and was able to grow his own stuff.

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