Posts tagged ‘Benghazi’

February 2, 2013

The DC Folly Trolley – 02/02/13

They Still Don’t Know What Hit Them.

A couple of good ole boys who got caught by their wives after being out drinking all night???  

john paul

No!!! Two know-nothing GOP senators after tangling with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton at the contrived Benghazi hearings.

Doesn’t matter who they are.  Nobody cares.


Lopsided Victory.

Some ladies you just can’t push around, guys. But then you’re Republicans. You wouldn’t know that.


The winner by a knockout, Hillary Rodham Clinton.


Next time wear your helmets and body armor, fellas.



Ryan Reveals Alien Ancestry.

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) revealed that many centuries ago an ancient ancestor immigrated to Earth from the planet Vulcan and engaged in illicit sexual relations with a female member of the cave dwelling Ryan clan.

The female claimed she was seduced by the Vulcan when he placed her in drug induced hypnotic states.  

The affair, which lasted over a period of several months, resulted in pregnancy before the woman’s mate discovered the liaisons.

The woman insisted that the Vulcan returned repeatedly to a secret place in the forest where she often went to pick berries.  While there, the undocumented immigrant beguiled her and gave her the mind altering potion.

The mate became incensed, followed his spouse to the hiding place where the alleged affairs occurred and severely wounded the Vulcan by firing an arrow into his back while he was on top of the female engaging in yet another illicit act.

The Vulcan denied the affair; after all, it was his word against a jealous mate’s.  However, he eventually confessed after being subjected to a technique called waterboarding which the clan leaders referred to as not torture.  After being repeatedly not tortured, the Vulcan succumbed.

The exchange of genetic material that occurred as a result of the illicit union between the Vulcan and the clan member became embedded in the genes of the offspring and remains in the DNA of the clan.  Its effects surface only once in several generations during the modern era.

The gene that passes to the unlucky Ryan member reveals itself during the aging process.

It is becoming apparent that Paul Ryan, as he grows older, is the unfortunate recipient of the mixed gene pool in the current generation.

Providence, however, smiled on Ryan.  The ancient clan from which he evolved had declared abortion illegal and its chieftains refused repeated requests by the Vulcan-impregnated female to undergo the procedure.

The clan also rejected medical coverage for its members  requiring them to provide for their own health care through a voucher system. As a result of this callous attitude, the mother died during delivery for lack of adequate medical care. The baby however survived and passed his traits onto future generations.

It is from this background that Ryan inherited his primitive social belief system.  



On Meet the Press last week, Paul Ryan issued what he expected to be a threat by saying the sequestration, the silly agreement agreed to after the Senate disagreed about some other agreement (you figure it out) will really, really happen.  Now everybody in Follyland is scared.

It turns out nobody paid much attention to Ryan (not since he struggled with fourth grade arithmetic to develop his phony budget and instantly became a DC math genius) nobody, that is, except whatcha call your mainstream corporate media.  They fawned all over this arithmetic challenged budget faker.

Ryan’s budget, you see, doesn’t balance until 2060.

2060!!!  Are you shittin’ me?

Nope.  2060.  According to s spokesman, during a critical addition operation Ryan forgot to carry the one.  So instead of balancing in 2020, turns out it won’t for 40 more years.


Ryan has been called seriously serious by whatcha call your mainstream corporate media because of his willingness to pilfer funds from the elderly by raiding Social Security using a variety of sneaky methods such as profitization of the program and raising the retirement age to somewhere between 70 and 100 or thereabouts.

He has also been referred to as courageously courageous for his willingness to cheat seniors out of their health care – again through a profitization scam using vouchers; and then fearlessly fearless for stealing candy from little kids. I made that last part up; but with Ryan who can tell?

Anyways, his threat still stands and it means that the House won’t agree to any more agreements unless they’re disagreeable to the majority of Americans and agreeable to the 1% who send payola Ryan’s way.

Anyways, if the threat prevails, the War Department will suffer cuts as will a number of domestic programs including Medicare cuts to providers (who used to be called doctors) who provide medical care to providees (used to be called patients). The providees, however, will not be required to pay any more to their providers. They won’t pay any less either.

Social Security has been desequestered, that is, not included in the cuts scheduled to take place after the sequester becomes effective. However, cuts could be made to the program after the sequester sequesters.

Is that clear?  


Mitch McConnell, Republican propagandist extraordinaire second only to Fox News, warned gun owners that Democratic critters are a fixin’ to confiscate yo’ guns. Yessarie bob, they’re a fixin’ to break down the door to yo’ house, tie up yo’ wife and little chilins, konk you over yo’ head and confiscate yo’ guns. Yesserie, bob.


McConnell putting on a happy face – for him.

They’re surroundin’ us, Mitch declared, so ya’all better git yo’ wagons in a circle. They’re a comin’ for yo’ guns. Ya’ all know what a circle is now don’t cha. Ya’ all learnt that in higher ejacashun in third grade.

Read the real article at:

McConnell warns gun owners: Obama and Democrats have you ‘literally surrounded’ | The Raw Story


Money is the root of all evil. How many times have the heard that saying.? It is, like so many other adages, an incomplete quote. The actual phrase reads the LOVE of money is the root of all evil, a subtle difference that drastically changes the meaning of the author’s intent. The reference is to the sin of greed, an evil which leads men astray. Nothing wrong with money per se or spending a little of it to have some fun.

Saul Tarsus, the man who invented Christianity, wrote the statement in a letter to somebody named Timothy in what is now referred to as the epistle, 1 Timothy to be exact.

In the missive, Tarsus (aka St. Paul) is warning his disciple against false teachers who warp messages for personal gain.

Sound familiar. Today, the Second Amendment is perverted to drastically distort its meaning solely for gun sellers to rake in huge amounts of ill-gotten money.

“A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”

The last part of the sentence is the one we’re most familiar with and it’s the phrase that’s routinely propagandized by gun sellers.

Historians now tell us that one reason for including the Second Amendment in the Bill of Rights was the insistence of the South.  The fear of slave rebellions among Southern plantation owners was at the core of the amendment’s adoption. Seems the slave holders demanded the right to raise a posse to quell possible insurrections or to hunt down and lynch escaped slaves.

St Paul, the man who created a new religion out of an old one, was a prescient observer of the weaknesses of men.  His message rings through the ages and applies more than ever to the abhorrent behavior of modern men.


And that brings us to Larry Summers, an advocate, if not one of the architects of, the current recession and the collapse of the economy in 2007.

Summers, a Robert Rubin acolyte, was and remains the champion of financial deregulation. He praised Gramm-Leach-Bliley – notoriously named the Financial Modernization Act – the legislation that repealed Glass-Steagall and led to the “too big to fail” creation of monster banks and advanced the greed that pervades Wall Street wheeling and dealing.

As Treasury secretary, he advised former President Bill Clinton to sign off on the Commodity Futures Modernization Act that is directly responsible for derivatives trading fraud and the wholesale foreclosure crisis.

Note the word “modernization” in the names of the two acts.  In 1984 style, the word lends a degree of respectability to the legislation it never deserved.


Summers it appears is never more than a few months away from popping up in the news and so it was once again last week. At Davos, Switzerland, where the world’s noblemen gather from time to time to decide the fate of commoners, Summers distorted or is ignorant of the facts of yesteryear, a revelation that surfaced in a speech to the gathering of financial royalty in which he claimed that wages increased along with productivity during the Clinton years.

Oh, my. Larry’s wrong again. The graph in a column by Dean Baker clearly shows the disparity between the two, a trend which began during Reagan’s reign and continues today.

Government statistics revealed the separating of the ways between productivity and wages for years. Was Larry inferring that the government didn’t know information published by the government during his term of service in, well, the government?  

Facts still have a nasty way of interfering with one’s opinions, even Larry’s.

Read the real article by Dean Baker at FDL.

Larry Summers Says the Clinton Administration Didn’t Have Access to Government Economic Data | MyFDL


Summers seems to have a penchant for saying and doing the wrong thing. The man’s an economics genius, and a rich one at that. But talk about your foot in mouth syndrome, this guy has the uncanny ability to fit both in.

As president of Harvard, for example, he bemoaned the lack of women pursuing careers in science and engineering in a poorly worded statement that was largely misinterpreted as a slight to the intelligence of women.

Well, that’s Larry for ya. Getting entangled in his own dumb words and then getting fired for speaking them.

No need to feel sorry for this genius, however. His buds on Wall Street did that, to the tune of millions. Yes, indeed, Larry is a multimillionaire.

Kinda makes me wallow in self-pity though. I’ve said lots of stupid things in my life and never got a dime for it.

Like the time I said women don’t get rich on Wall Street because they can’t cheat and steal as well as men. Sorry, ladies. No offense intended, but I’m sure you could do just as well as the men if you’d just put your mind to it.

Could it be that most ladies just don’t want to cheat and steal?

Well, that’s hard to understand, particularly since cheating and stealing are the American way. How else ya gonna get rich in this country?


You remember John McCain, right? He’s still one of two senators from the state of Arizona.

You may also recall that McCain, still one of two senators from the state of Arizona, was the knight of the realm during the reign of George W. Bush.

He voted for the war in Iraq and that was just one among many of his dumb votes. There are so many it’s hard to tell which is his dumbest, but the vote for the war is right up there at the top of a very long and still growing list.

He also voted in favor of what was trumped up as the “surge”, the operation in which Bush sent 20,000 additional troops to that worn torn country.

The effectiveness of the surge was woefully distorted by whatcha call your mainstream corporate media and mythologized as the operation that turned the war around.

It did no such thing, of course.

The war was indeed on a more favorable path. But it was turning long before the additional forces invaded the country.

Some factors responsible for the turnabout were

  • The arming of Sunnis with U.S. munitions to enlist these tribes in the fight against Shite and al Qaeda insurgents in a movement known as the Awakening.
  • The deracination of entire neighborhoods by uprooting Shites and Sunnis from their homes and relocating them to separate areas behind concrete barriers.
  • A greater degree of cooperation from the Shite cleric Muqtada al Sadr who withdrew his forces from the insurgency at the request of the Iranian government.

These processes were in place and achieving a reduction in violence before the “surge” had any impact on the war.

So here comes John McCain. You remember him. He’s still one of the senators from Arizona.

The guy was ragging incessantly on Defense nominee Chuck Hagel about a statement the former senator made years ago regarding the dangerous surge policy of the Bush administration. Hagel might have been more judicious in his use of words and substituted “fruitless” for “dangerous.”


Mrs. McCain can Johnny come out and play today.

No. Johnny’s been fighting and he’s being punished.

Nevertheless, Hagel was correct in his assessment at the time and McCain, still a senator from Arizona, was flat, dead wrong.

Read the real article at Truthout.

The Iraq War “Surge” Myth Returns


Warning: The following material is really dirty. So I hope you enjoy reading it.

A fellow stepped into the hall
Effects of Cialis clear to all
He began to sway
And soon lost his way
Left his mistress waiting to ball.
A woman stepped into the hall
With spiked heels and suffered a fall
Completely undressed
And highly distressed
Needing ice for her double highball.
A woman stepped into the hall
Tripped over a guy legs asprawl
To her pleasant distraction
He was ready action
Her yearnings she could not forestall.
Also posted to MadKane’s Limerick blog.
November 24, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 11/24/12

In an interview in a noted magazine, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) stated that he doesn’t know how old the Earth is.  He said this despite an abundance of evidence that our planet formed some 4.5 billion year ago – give or take a couple million.


Marco knows it’s never to early to begin running for president. (Courtesy DonkeyHotey).

The statement lends credence to the rumor that Rubio is planning a presidential run in 2016 and his remark is viewed as one way to cater to Christian fundamentalists who believe God created this rapidly overheating sphere 6000 years ago.

Just goes to show ya, you can’t be a Republican without defying irrefutable scientific evidence.

In a similar vein, rumor has it that birther Donald Trump won’t believe the age of the Earth until he sees the birth certificate. Long form, if you please. Then we’ll know for sure.

(Courtesy DonkeyHotey).


Because there is no third term for presidents, Bill Maher believes Barack Obama should take a sharp turn to the left and lend support to the liberals without whom the prez could not have been elected in the first place.

And of course that there is no third term is true so his need for corporate payola diminished rapidly.

There is however, a “however” in the mix.

And that is none other than the pharaoh-mimicking monument otherwise known as the presidential library. Obama will need tens of millions of dollars to erect his.

That kind of scratch doesn’t come from “the small people.”

And ten bucks never got anyone a private pow-wow in the Oval Office.

So if he wants his “pyramid”, Obama will have to cater to the 1%.

I just can’t seem to catch a break anywhere.


Bulletin – Pasta Fagioli, Italy

Committee Announces Award.

Senior UPW Congressional Reporter Marcy Popindick has just learner that John McCain has been awarded The Schmuckup Prize by the Nobella Prize Committee.

In a UPW exclusive, Ms. Popindick reports that McCain won for his demand that a Senate subcommittee be formed to investigate the killing of four Americans in the consulate attack in Benghazi, Libya. The senator put his own name forward to chair the subcommittee. His colleagues however turned down the request.

President Barack Obama and Senator John McCain...

President Barack Obama and Senator John McCain in a press conference, taking place on March 4, 2009. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

President Obama and Sen. John McCain – a man who distinguished himself in service to his country in time of war – together during a less tendentious moment.

The rejection stopped the former military hero dead in his tracks after he initiated a series of attacks on UN Ambassador Susan Rice for statements she made regarding the assault on the Benghazi consulate.

Rice said her remarks were based on early intelligence reports that later proved to be inaccurate.

McCain however could not be mollified. He petulantly announced that he would oppose a Rice appointment if President Obama nominated her for Secretary of State, the office being vacated by current Secretary Hillary Clinton.

The senator also stated that he would oppose any nomination for Secretary of State until the administration revealed the truth behind the events in Behghazi.

His motives were unclear but appeared to be an attempt to restore a degree of credibility to a rapidly declining career.

In recognition of the senator’s irrational machinations, the Nobella Committe, noting that McCain is a previous recipient of its Most Valuable Putz award, proudly bestowed its Schmuckup Prize on the lamentable legislator.


To win The Schmuckup Prize you can’t just be an ordinary fuck up. There are thousands of those in Washington and not enough prizes to go around.

No, to win this award you have to be a fuck up of truly monumental proportions. John McCain has been nominated on several occasions but failed to capture the prize. This week, he finally broke through the barrier and achieved the status that earned him the esteemed honor.


Winners of The Schmuckup Prize receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize. In addition, winners are given the coveted statuette called The Little Schmucky engraved with the words “Schmucked up beyond all reason.” The Little Schmucky is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.

All prizes are awarded while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.

From the UPW Newsroom: Surpassing the Mainstream Media in reporting worthlessly useless news the world over.


Don’t know much about this former Komen executive, a businesswoman contemplating a Senate run in Georgia.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

However, it does seem to me that business leaders are uniquely qualified to serve in Congress.

They’ve already learned to lie, cheat and steal. And get away with it.  So what other qualifications to you need to be a Congress critter?


Christie Needs Disaster to Aid in 2013 Reelection Bid.

One more disaster and he’s a shoe in for reelection. But it will have to be another really, really big one. A Christie size, at the very least.


“I celebrated Thanksgiving the old fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” Jon Stewart.


Nice hat ya got there, bubba. Like your cool costume too.

If I dress up like that, can I tell people how to vote?


An ode to drone warfare instigated by our glorious leaders.


Glorious leaders will send us drones

For Christmas and no one bemoans

Their unquestionably gross illegality

So far be it from an angry me

To question the laws our Congress dethrones.


Petraeus Afghanistanus and our glorious leaders keep putting their heads – among other things – where they don’t belong. Not even an election can pull them out.

So the drones keep coming and murdering innocent men, women and children.

I expect droney to start blowing up striking Walmart workers as soon as our glorious leaders declare them to be terrorists.

We all have our glorious leaders to thank for protecting us from underpaid American workers, I mean terrorists.

You really don’t have to be a terrorist anymore. The Wall Street definition of a “troublemaker” should soon be sufficient for launching a drone attack. Many of us may already be on a list.

I’d like to protect my house with an anti-missile system But the damn things cost too much and they don’t work. Besides my wife has bird feeders all over the place. 

November 18, 2012

The DC Folly Trolley – 11/18/12

Bulletin – Pasta Fagioli, Italy.

Committee Announces Prize Winner.

Unreliable Press Worldwide has learned today that the Nobella Prize Committee has named Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) as the winner of its coveted MVP award.

Members of the christening party for the guide...

Members of the christening party for the guided missile destroyer JOHN S. MCCAIN (DDG-56) pose for a photograph after the launching at the Bath Iron Works shipyard. They are from left to right: Sen. John McCain; Mrs. Roberta McCain; Sidney McCain; Meghan McCain, maid of honor; and Cindy McCain, sponsor and wife of Sen. McCain. Location: BATH, MAINE (ME) UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (USA) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sen. McCain won for his vigorous efforts to achieve personal gain by exploiting the tragic deaths of four American citizens during a terrorist organized assault on the U.S. Embassy in Benghazi, Libya.

A few short years ago the senator held all the cards as he achieved the pinochle of success when the Republican party nominated him as its candidate for president.

Recently however the poker faced legislator has drawn nothing but four flushes in his attempt to maintain the leadership reins of his party.

To burnish his tarnished reputation, McCain demanded that the Senate establish a select subcommittee to investigate the Benghazi affair. He recommended that he be appointed to head the committee.

In a misguided attempt to publicize his call for the subcommittee appointment, McCain referred to a press conference he held as a “scheduling error”, a mishap that caused the senator to miss a top secret briefing on the Benghazi issue.

When questioned about his lack of judgment for missing the meeting, McCain grew testy with a reporter and said he had no intention of discussing his schedule with the press.

Because of his persistence in exaggerating the importance of the events in Libya, McCain becomes the proud recipient of the Nobella Committee’s Most Valuable Putz Award.


Winners of The Most Valuable Putz Award receive a certificate acknowledging the award as well as a forged autographed copy of a photo of Don Alberto Vito Nobella, the originator of the prize. 

These exceptional individuals also receive a statuette named the Pubar engraved with the words “putzed up beyond all reason.” Known as the Putzie the statuette is sculpted of rusted metal stolen from an auto junk yard.

The Putzie is given while supplies last and unfortunately for the current winner supplies just ran out.


For John McCain the end is near

He’s causing trouble that is clear

He used to be a real mensch

Now he’s just creating stench

And will besmirch a fine career.


An anonymous source close to the Romney campaign disclosed that Mitt Romney voted for Barack Obama for president after Obama promised the GOP candidate that he would continue to give gifts to wealthy people.

“What’s his name again” trying to hold back the tears after the loss in last weeks’ election.  (Courtesy DonkeyHotey).

In a sealed document, Obama vowed that he would send legislation to Congress that would allow corporations to avoid paying even more taxes by setting up additional tax havens in foreign countries, declare a tax holiday to minimize the tax burden for corporations that want to bring bring profits into the U.S. and increase expense deductions for companies such as Bain Capital that offshore American jobs.

In a statement to the press, Romney said he lost the election because Obama promised to keep giving gifts to rich people if they would vote for him.

Or something like that.


Mitt Romney is peeved at his loss.

It’s understandable he should be cross.

He screwed up his campaign

And now seeks to blame

Obama for spreading the sauce.


Paul Ryan is playing the blame game.

His excuses run poor to utterly lame.

Because he got picked

Mitt Romney got licked.

Paul’s name was no match for inglorious fame.


Former Mississippi governor Harbor Bailey informed the GOP that it needs a proctology exam.

No argument there. The members of Barbour’s party have more shit up their asses than a BP blowout could ever dump into the Gulf of Mexico. Problem is the BP spill came to a stop while GOP shit never ends.

Following is the procedure recommended by the Sardo Institute’s Proctological Academy for members of the GOP:

Insert 4 x 4 post eight feet long. Rough hewn (more splinters that way). Twist vigorously for two hours.

I would have suggested a twelve footer. But, hey, I am a compassionate liberal ya know.


The doctor from the Sardo Institute’s Academy of Proctology who will perform the exam on the GOP. He’s a Democrat.  (Thanks to J.J.).


We need to build a bridge over the fiscal cliff. We need to work together – Republicans and Democrats – on a solution that provides some certainty to American families and businesses, while also bringing down our deficit and debt. Sen. Max Baucus (DINO – MT).

Translation: Extend tax cuts for the rich and cut Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid for the rest of us.

File:Max Baucus Elena Kagan.jpg

The ranking DINO from Montana with future Justice Elena Kagan.


You can never be sure if Slapsie Maxie is sober when he speaks.  One thing for sure, he’s a Blue Dog to the bone..  


Ranting Time

Samuel Alito, that right wing extremist who also happens to be a justice on the Supreme Court, defended the Citizens United 5-4 decision to allow unlimited political spending during campaign season.

He spoke before the right wing extremist organization known as the Federalist Society and his speech made the audience squeal with prepubescent glee.

Alito is dead wrong on the subject.

The question at hand here is does very expensive advertising amount to free speech. If speech is so costly that only the rich can afford it, the result is not an expression of a First Amendment right but an abuse of the right because only a tiny minority can avail themselves of it.

Alito mentioned that media corporations express their views openly. I’m guessing he meant newspapers that use editorials to present opinion However, most newspapers have op-ed pages where opposing views can be aired without charge.

TV stations were once required to present opposing views. The noxious decision to eliminate the equal time rule, however, ended that requirement and further restricted free speech only to those who can pay for it. That rule should be reversed to permit the open exchange of ideas through that medium.

If speech is to be truly “free”, there should be no charge to express it so all can benefit from that right.


Catholic Ideology Responsible For Woman’s Death.

Savita Halappanavar, a Hindu and native of India, died at the hands of Irish Doctors at University Hospital Galway when they refused to perform an abortion to save the woman’s life after complications developed during her pregnancy.

The doctors claimed that Mrs. Halappanavar’s life was not in danger and since the 4-month old fetus she carried still had a heartbeat, performing an abortion would have been illegal. The doctors, bound by law and Catholic ideology, allowed the woman to die. The fetus died as well.

It’s time for faithful Catholics to take a stand against the wrongheaded ideas of the leadership of their Church.

Populated largely by misogynistic old men, the Church’s hierarchy is wedded to a centuries old ideology that has outlived its usefulness for more than a hundred years.

Parading around on stage in medieval costumes and pretending to perform miracles amidst the clamor of ringing chimes during a portion of the Mass known as the Consecration, the prelates claim to transform bread and wine into the body and blood of a man who lived two thousand years ago. Such nonsense, perpetrated in defiance of the knowledge accumulated by science, defies belief in this modern world.

These men, it must be admitted, do more harm than good – child abuse and the willful cover up by bishops, is not the least among the pain they cause. Their willingness to allow healthy women to die during a difficult pregnancy represents cruelty beyond the pale.

It’s time to challenge these old misogynists. They perform no miracles. The Eucharist at which they claim a “transubstantiation” of bread and wine into divine flesh, is at best a symbolic re-creation of an event that supposedly took place two hundred centuries ago when a man named Jesus declared, at a dinner referred to as The Last Supper, “Do this in remembrance of me.”.

These men, who claim to perform miracles, have no special powers. Yet they show little remorse when commanding their congregations to obey religious laws they themselves have imposed on the faithful.

You may recall that a bishop, one David L. Ricken of the Green Bay diocese, brazenly warned his parishioners to vote in accordance with the moral dictates of the Catholic Church or risk having their immortal souls burn forever in the eternal fires of Hell.

If there is such a thing as a soul and a place called Hell, then a just God will surely set fire to the souls of prelates who commit the crimes of child abuse and their cover up and permit innocent women to die unnecessarily.


Yet More Violence in the Middle East.

Certainly the situation in the Middle East is tragic. Not as destructive, at least quantitatively, as the conquest of Iraq, but horrible by any measurement.

Extremists on both sides seem to be preventing any real solution.

However, if I were living in Israel I would place my faith in the tank, rather than a book, to protect me.

I have no doubt that if the Arab nations ever become militarily more powerful than Israel, that little nation will cease to exist.

And what becomes of all the people living there???

Sadly there seems to be no solution in sight – not for the foreseeable future at least.

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